NOVEL WEB Chapter 1415: A Heartfelt Talk
-----
I lost too much because of my own foolishness.
I ended up walking along a path alone, even though I was always accompanied by many.
I thought I was strong enough to take on anything, even though my strength was only achieved through the collective of all those by my side.
I stupidly imagined I could handle anything, only to be defeated.
It was only thanks to the broken ego of a narcissistic demon with too much power that I was even given a second chance.
A second chance to be by her side, one that I simply cannot abandon, one that I cannot let pass away.
The first woman I ever loved, the one that was with me since I was a newborn, who stood by my side even though I never wanted her there…
Someone that, with her calm smile and her attentive eyes, always gave me the energy to continue moving forward, even though I never realized until the last moments of my life.
"Eleanora."
She was somewhere else, a bit farther away, sitting over the rooftop of another house altogether. I suppose she had been alone for most of the night.
I saw her join the feast with the rest of my spirits, and she was by my side, but at some point she simply disappeared.
Of course, as her master, I can immediately know where she is either way…
"Master?"
She turned to me as she looked at my eyes with her usual calm expression, although I was able to see a hint of melancholy in her before.
"Why are you here alone?"
I walked to her and sat by her side, as she looked at me with a slightly embarrassed expression.
"I… well, I didn't know what to do or say anymore back then, so I simply walked away. Was it rude? I apologize. It wasn't my intention."
"I see… well, there's nothing to apologize for. If anything, I feel like you were running away from me."
"T-That's…"
Yes, it felt very clear, she was running away from me.
It was from something she seemed afraid of accepting, perhaps something she didn't want to accept.
"Eleanora, is it because of my proposal to Erika or Elizabeth?"
"…"
"You knew I was going to propose to you afterwards, but you didn't want to, so you ran away."
"…"
"Why did you run away?"
"That's…"
She looked at the sun slowly rising from the horizon, her eyes feeling tired.
"I don't know… I'm afraid."
"Why?"
"Of how things might change, master… I lived thousands of years being your loyal servant, but now, in these last eighteen years, things have changed so much…"
"I suppose for us vampires, eighteen years is indeed barely any time… it has changed very quickly, right?"
"Yeah… And… I'm afraid I might not be up for the task."
"…For what?"
"For… being your wife, for being a mother… I'm afraid of change, of things becoming something else entirely, something I am not prepared for. We are vampires, among all things, we fear change. We have grown accustomed to our lives for thousands of years, we live by our own rules, but once our lives change, we must modify these rules."
"I see… Are you afraid of being loved, Eleanora?"
"…I don't know, I… know you love me, but maybe I am just being stupid? I…"
"This is all my fault."
"Eh?"
She looked at me with surprise, as I sighed.
"It is my fault that I made you feel used to not being loved, it is my fault that I never told you my true feelings either… And it's my fault you think that these changes now are abnormal."
"…"
"Eleanora."
I held her hands, as she blushed, her beautiful, long fingers and her red nails, I caressed them softly. Her hand was cold but so warm to me.
"The past me and the one from now are the same. Who I am being right now is truly the Asmodeus you knew," I told her. "I simply always kept it bottled up. I, like you, was afraid of change. Of truly showing who I was, of becoming someone else than just a warlord. Our lives are shaped by our lives and experiences. Perhaps you have not realized yet, but you have changed a lot as well, Eleanora. You were once much more ruthless, cruel with the way you acted. But you've become someone sweet and caring, despite how you try not to act that way."
"I have…?!" she gasped. "I… I suppose I have… changed a little but…"
"I understand how you may feel about a lot of things," I said, as she seemed to be slowly relaxing. "But I want to tell you that this is the real me, and that I didn't just change, I am simply… trying to be myself now. Many times I wished I could've told you these things before, how much I love your smile, how captivating your eyes are, and how much I adore your voice. You're the most beautiful to me, my Eleanora."
"A-Asmodeus…" Eleanora's red eyes started crying, as she hugged me tightly, embracing me with her slender arms. "I've always loved you as well, Asmodeus… I always dreamed of a day like this, but I never would've thought it would happen after we died, for you to ever reciprocate my feelings…"
"And for that, I am very sorry…" I sighed. "I committed so many mistakes in my previous life, I could hardly call myself a proper leader now… But I am trying to improve, to change who I was, and to become a better person as well, for my friends, my new family, and… for you."
"I'm moved by your words, and I now understand what you mean…" she muttered. "But… are you sure? In this world, I am a Spirit. Up until now, we have not seen a single person that ever married their own summon."
"Well, then I'll be the first," I said, caressing her beautiful face. "I don't care what the world will say about us… I only care about making you happy."
I offered her the ring, gently placing it on her.
"So? Would you let me make you happy, Eleanora?"
"Aah… Y-Yes…"
While she cried, I kissed her.
-----