NOVEL WEB Chapter 37
Seo Jae-Ah’s movements seemed stiff as if she were tense. Was it because this was the first time we were meeting in person since she had become like this? I could understand it, but it was still somewhat amusing to see.
“What are you so tense about? Relax, man.”
“If I had a steel nerve like you, I wouldn’t know, but honestly, how can I not be tense?”
“What’s there to be tense about?”
“First off, coming to a woman’s house alone is a bit…”
“Do you want to get hit?”
Was that a joke to help me relax? It wasn’t a pleasant joke, but it was safe enough.
“What have you been doing?”
“Planning.”
“I heard you’re writing a new piece, what is it about?”
“I haven’t decided much besides the title. I’m a bit stuck.”
“What’s the title?”
“Womb.”
“Are you crazy?”
Well, it wasn’t an unreasonable reaction. The title was certainly something that could be bewildering, and since that was the intention, I was actually pleased with such a reaction.
“Isn’t it brilliant?”
“You’ll just get buried again…”
“After getting buried once, I found it manageable.”
“And you cried like a baby.”
“Just know that if you say one more word, you’ll be in for a beating.”
Anyway, he had always been consistently cheeky.
I seated Jae-Ah across from me at the table and took my own seat. Jae-Ah was already working on a story and was in the process of revising it. Jae-Ah’s story, serialized on the internet, pursued entertainment in a straightforward manner, but the piece I was overseeing couldn’t afford such liberties.
Given that Jae-Ah had been writing for a while, there was no doubt her work had that flavor, but there was also something in her writing that made one expect more. However, since I had decided to teach literary composition, I had no intention of taking it lightly.
Whether to blend the strengths of both styles or develop them separately was still undetermined, but no matter what I chose, it was clear this approach wouldn’t work.
What Jae-Ah chose was participatory literature.
That was an unexpected choice.
I had thought she wouldn’t care at all about this sort of thing, yet she was actively pushing for it.
I certainly didn’t expect her to tackle stories about sexual minorities.
It was a love story between a man who thinks of himself as a woman and loves women, and a woman who identifies as a man but loves men.
A bizarre yet normal, ordinary yet twisted relationship that could be viewed as gay, lesbian, or heterosexual.
If a man who thinks of himself as a lesbian and a woman who sees herself as a gay man fall in love, is that considered normal?
It’s something I could never understand, but it was a topic worth approaching philosophically and sociologically.
“Why did you choose such a topic?”
“Can I be honest?”
Jae-Ah seemed to be checking my reaction. I could only think of one possibility.
“…You didn’t.”
“Uh, it’s true that I was inspired by you. The specifics came from elsewhere, though.”
I felt an urge to hit Jae-Ah seriously this time, but in the end, I decided to endure it. After all, it was one of the dilemmas I needed to think about.
I am currently in a female body but have a male mind. So, whom should I love? Who should love me? Am I gay? A lesbian? Normal? Those were questions that were difficult to conclude and shouldn’t be easily resolved.
Of course, the realistic answer was simple.
I am someone who cannot love anyone, so I don’t need to worry about it.
That was the correct answer.
Nevertheless, I was led to these questions because while I cannot love anyone, perhaps there is someone who could love me.
If there were someone who could love a being that even my own mother does not love.
In the end, after glaring and sighing, I dropped my hands.
“Well, that could happen. Inspiration doesn’t differentiate between good and evil.”
“Are you saying it’s evil to have thoughts like this about you?”
“Without a doubt.”
Jae-Ah’s expression grew complicated. Was something on her mind?
Just then, while she was contemplating, the doorbell rang. Naturally, there was only one person who could be coming.
“Who is it?”
“Oh, sorry. I forgot to mention. It’s my friend, and he’ll be here in a bit. He’ll be in the room so it won’t interfere with our tutoring, so don’t worry about it.”
When I opened the door, Hwa-won came in with a smile.
“Hey, long time no see.”
“It’s only been a day. Stop with the small talk and come in.”
“Okay.”
Hwa-won made eye contact with Jae-Ah, who was seated. After a brief silence between them, Jae-Ah stood up and greeted.
“Hello, I’m Seo Jae-Ah.”
“Oh, Professor Seo, your child. I’m Gang Hwa-won. I’ll be in the room, so don’t mind me.”
“Um, okay.”
Their meeting ended without any significant reactions. Hwa-won would be sitting in my room in front of my broken computer, probably glued to his phone. Jae-Ah seemed to have slightly reduced her chatter, but the tutoring proceeded without issues.
Just like Jae-Ah’s story.
The romance of two people, one a sexual minority and the other not, seemed to flow smoothly without any problems. No one around suspected that they were sexual minorities; they looked like a well-matched pair. Yet they both knew that they were internally rotting within the definitions they established for their relationship.
A woman who is a lesbian desires femininity from a male, whereas a man who is gay desires masculinity from a female. These two puzzles, which seemed to fit well together, were ultimately only running parallel to each other.
“Interesting. It’s fun and strange. I’m not really well-versed in this area, but I can’t understand it, so that makes it even better.”
That was a compliment. However, Jae-Ah’s expression didn’t seem to reflect pleasure. Was there something strange in my words?
“…Interesting…huh.”
“Yeah? What did you say?”
“It’s nothing.”
Soon, her expression returned to normal, as if my impression had been a misunderstanding.
During the two-hour tutoring session, it was natural we weren’t focused solely on that one story. About an hour and a half was spent discussing and revising this piece, but our tutoring wasn’t over yet.
“So you’re still struggling with the plot development?”
“To be honest, I’m in a complete slump. I can’t seem to get a hold of anything when I try to write a slice-of-life novel. I’ve mapped out some degree of progression, but I’m not sure.”
“To be honest, I haven’t read much in that genre, so it’s hard to advise. By the way, what made you start writing slice-of-life?”
Jae-Ah scoffed as if to say, “Why are you asking something so obvious?”
“Of course, I wanted to write after watching those slice-of-life and related novels.”
“What slice-of-life are you watching? Do you watch professional gamers’ streams or something?”
“I do watch them, but mainly I watch professional streamers. I also watch VTubers… Do you not watch slice-of-life at all?”
“I do watch YouTube occasionally, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched a live stream.”
“Wow, you’re like a national treasure.”
“What am I, some kind of animal?”
Jae-Ah looked at me as if she had just discovered fire for the first time.
“Though your story is fun, I can see some down points. For starters, the chatting culture and the donations and those weird dances… it’s pure entertainment. It doesn’t help with literature.”
“Sure, whatever. Old man.”
Eventually, I stood up and hit Jae-Ah on the head. Initially, I couldn’t reach her from my chair and had to walk in front of her to hit her. Jae-Ah, annoyingly enough, didn’t seem to be hurt at all.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“Take another hit.”
“Anyway, when I was watching those, they were fun and I could write well, but now I feel like something is lacking… I just have that feeling. Maybe that’s why I can’t write.”
After saying that, Jae-Ah looked at my face and suddenly began to scan my body. Feeling uncomfortable under her gaze, I stepped back to return to my seat. Suddenly, Jae-Ah made a strange announcement.
“Hey.”
“What?”
“Have you ever thought about trying slice-of-life streaming?”
I regretted returning to my seat. I should have hit her again.
“Stop messing around and think about how to get your writing back on track.”
“No, this is seriously a great idea. Think about it seriously. If you stream with a mask on, it’ll be a hit. You’ll be showered with donations, trust me! And think about it, my slump is due to a kind of monotony, but if you start streaming, you’d be a goldmine of material!”
Jae-Ah certainly wasn’t joking and seemed to be serious. I let out a deep sigh for show and hit her on the head again. It seemed that this time, I hit her hard enough for her to yell “Ow!”
“Hey, Seo Jae-Ah. Stop it. Calling a person material is incredibly rude. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear this conversation, so be careful moving forward.”
Only then did Jae-Ah lower her head as if realizing the problem with her actions.
“Well, I get what you’re saying. You’re probably anxious because you can’t write. But I have no intention of ever streaming or anything like that, so don’t bring it up again. It doesn’t matter if a knife is put to my neck. Do you know what that is?”
“What… is it?”
“Prostitution.”
“Streaming isn’t prostitution.”
No, it is prostitution.