NOVEL WEB Chapter 38
I swallowed my words.
Had I been a bit too harsh? Jae-Ah made a rather displeased expression. Was she angry? But I was the one who got angry first. At least in this situation, Jae-Ah didn’t have the right to speak.
“Hey, are you in a position to make that face? Yeah, I may have gone too far. Sorry. But you know what? I can’t do that. I can’t sell smiles, I can’t sell dances, I can’t sell my face, or sell entertainment. The only thing I can sell is my writing. Only my novels. Got it?”
“…I understand.”
In the end, that was true. While it was a fact that I drew strength from reading Jae-Ah’s novel, the reason I enjoyed it was ultimately significant.
Whether it was novels or webtoons, at their core, they were prostitution. I dislike pornography, but I won’t deny that it can be fun and enjoyable. Thus, the comfort I gained from reading Jae-Ah’s novel back then was essentially a form of self-gratification.
That doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. However, it wasn’t something I wanted to do.
Jae-Ah didn’t seem to be convinced. But at least she seemed to recognize that she had made a mistake first, so she didn’t continue speaking. Anyway, it was about time to wrap things up. In this situation, ending like this felt a bit unsatisfying, but Jae-Ah didn’t seem to want to spend more time.
“Alright, let’s call it a day. Want to grab some food or something?”
“Do you cook?”
“It’s takeout.”
Jae-Ah made a face that suggested she was somewhat disappointed. As she got up to gather her things, she suddenly seemed to remember something.
“Oh, by the way, my dad asked me to pass on a message.”
“Why didn’t you mention that sooner?”
“I forgot. Apparently, there’s a drinking party with some other writers coming up, and he wanted to know if you’d be interested in coming. It’s in two weeks. He said to contact him if you’re interested.”
What Jae-Ah conveyed was really a meaningless story. How could they ask me to join a drinking party in this state? Besides, with the controversy surrounding me, who knew what would happen if I showed my face at such an event?
“A drinking party? No way. I can’t drink, and even if I could, I’d probably get reported if I showed up looking like this.”
“I heard Lee Cheon is going to be there.”
But at Jae-Ah’s words, I felt my heart waver for a moment. Lee Cheon is a remarkable and famous writer, recognized as a significant figure in contemporary Korean literature. I also held a lot of respect for him and owned all of his works. His excellent writing skills and elegant style, along with the intense social themes woven into his novels, made each one a piece of art.
Although he was already an elderly man, his influence in the Korean literary community remained undeniably powerful. The fact that he would attend meant it was quite a big drinking gathering.
But in the end, I gave up. Meeting a respected elder would definitely be meaningful and helpful, but going to a drinking party when I couldn’t even drink properly felt ridiculous.
“Still, it’s not going to happen. Tell the professor that it would be difficult for me.”
“Sure. Well, I’ll be heading out then.”
“What about food? I was going to order takeout now.”
“What are you planning to order? Something like malatang or tteokbokki?”
“What kind of girl-like nonsense is that? It’s chicken.”
Ultimately, Jae-Ah chose to go straight home without eating dinner. What meaning was hidden in that earlier conversation? I couldn’t quite grasp it. Did she want to eat malatang…?
“Hey, come out.”
“Oh, yeah. Are you done?”
“Yeah, Jae-Ah left.”
Hwa-won was still wrestling with a broken computer.
“Why are you holding onto a broken computer?”
“I don’t think it’s broken.”
“What do you mean? It kept lagging and disconnecting.”
“Dude, you just messed up your settings.”
“What?”
“Look, it’s working perfectly fine now.”
Hwa-won’s words were indeed true. The computer, which had been difficult to use until a few days ago, was functioning perfectly well. In fact, Hwa-won was even installing a game.
“Hey, you can’t install stuff on this old machine.”
Hwa-won looked at me as if I were an idiot.
“Wow, are you seriously that clueless about computers? No matter how old your computer is, this much is fine. It looks like you haven’t maintained it in years.”
“Maintain it? What do you mean?”
“Unbelievable.”
Hwa-won laughed. It was a strangely unpleasant laugh. No, while it’s true I don’t know much about computers, I at least know the basics. I shouldn’t be laughed at just because I was ignorant of a few trivial things. But soon after, Hwa-won launched the game that had finished downloading and started playing.
The game ran remarkably smoothly to annoy me. Hwa-won began mocking me as he laughed.
“See? Don’t call yourself a man anymore. How can a guy not know this?”
Of course, I couldn’t just sit there and take it.
“Writing is what I should do. What use is it for me to know this? Have you written even a single piece after fixing that computer? You’re just downloading games. Computer illiterate? Have you even debuted?”
“Shut up.”
~
The chicken delivery arrived. As I picked up the chicken that had been left at the door, Hwa-won was already sitting at the table with an annoying expression, having perfectly prepared the meal.
“What’s wrong, don’t put it down?”
“Ugh.”
As usual, Hwa-won devoured most of the chicken. After eating just four small pieces, my stomach was full.
“You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? It’s perfect since we were short on food for two people, and now with you eating less, it’s just right.”
“Stop that nonsense.”
Well, anyway, Hwa-won’s presence was beneficial to me. It was always uncomfortable when food was leftover, but thanks to him, that problem disappeared. It wasn’t boring either.
“Speaking of which, Professor Seo was asking you to come to the drinking party this time.”
“A drinking party? Oh, that must be the after-party for the literary meeting.”
“You know about it?”
“I heard it from Senior Su-Young. She said she’d be going too. Are you going?”
Ugh, is that girl going to be there too? I was relieved that I had already informed them I wouldn’t be attending the drinking party. Given Senior Su-Young’s personality, she would probably laugh loudly and mock me as soon as she saw me.
“What kind of after-party is this with me looking like this? I’m not going. Honestly, I want to see Lee Cheon, who’s coming, but it seems like a bad idea.”
“Oh, you were a huge fan of that writer, huh?”
Huge fan? Technically not wrong, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Hwa-won probably liked that writer, Lee Cheon, just as much.
“You liked him quite a bit too, didn’t you?”
“Not as much as you. He wrote well and is interesting, but it doesn’t align with my views on women.”
“Views on women?”
“What do you mean?”
“It feels clingy, I guess? That author clearly dislikes women, but there’s something ambiguous about that attitude.”
“What’s ambiguous? I’ve never encountered a writer who has so decisively countered the existence of women in South Korea than him.”
“True, but he hasn’t married, and there aren’t any scandals around him.”
…Isn’t that a sign of cleanliness?
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Well, usually those who write such things have messy backgrounds. It’s strange to be so clean given the tone in his writing.”
What was I even hearing? It was just Hwa-won’s nonsense. At least in the case of Lee Cheon, such things shouldn’t happen. He clearly harbored a disdain for women. He wasn’t someone who would have issues on that front.
“Are you coming up with such delusions because you haven’t debuted yet?”
“Shut up. Anyway, he definitely writes well. It’s exactly your style. What a shame. It’s someone you wouldn’t easily get to meet.”
Hwa-won’s words stirred my disappointment. It was true that someone like me, a third-rate writer, would find it hard to meet someone like him. He wasn’t someone who frequently attended such gatherings, and so this opportunity felt particularly regretful. If I hadn’t been afflicted with this issue, I would have definitely attended.
“By the way, about your tutoring earlier.”
“What about the tutoring?”
“The soundproofing here isn’t great. Everything can be heard.”
Is that so? Since I lived alone in a house, I hadn’t encountered any noise issues before, so it was a new fact for me.
“Are you planning to tell Professor Seo about this?”
“Are you crazy? Why would I do something that good for him?”
“Then that’s a relief.”
Fortunately, Hwa-won didn’t seem to be planning to inform Professor Seo about the tutoring content. Of course, it’d be alright to notify him about the novel I was currently writing, but it was likely not Professor Seo’s intention for Jae-Ah to continue writing web novels, so if it got out, it’d be a significant problem.
“I’m more curious about you. What prompted you to help her write a web novel?”
“There’s no such thing as high or low in writing, you know.”
Hwa-won looked at me, seemingly laughing at my answer. What was that? Was there something weird about what I said?
“Sure, I guess.”
That was an unpleasant response. Did he want to pick a fight? But before I could even react, Hwa-won shifted the subject.
“Anyway, I heard the story she wrote, but I didn’t think much of it.”
“Didn’t think much of it?”
“Well, it’s a matter of personal taste, so you don’t have to pay attention to it. But you thought you could tell Professor Seo the main points of the tutoring, right?”
“And?”
“You shouldn’t do that.”
“Why?”
Hwa-won made that signature expression of ridicule laced with cynicism. It wasn’t hate. It was just the sort of face Hwa-won made when he genuinely thought someone was foolish. Pure mockery.
“That guy is a homophobe.”
That made sense.