The Roots of the Dragon Teeth Thieving Fairy! (Comdic Fairy Tale BL)

Okay, so when I call Tony adorable, that's a given. But he didn't look so adorable now, as he made me drag all those dragon teeth with me.

 It was ironic that he would make me do such a thing.

Me, who was actually trying to make him do it.

 The life of a henchman…

 "Mike, quit it with the mumbling!"

 Oh, was I saying that out loud now? Well, that was a bad habit of mine. It got all started when...

"Mike, I said quit it with the mumbling," Anthony said, raising his voice.

The thing about Anthony was, well, this time I'm thinking this, not saying it. Just putting one foot after the other. Just trying to keep pace with Tony, who was now faster and stronger.

And, well, probably a chick magnet.

That Tony, who was now the center of my universe, was now heading towards the Black Market.

A place I have been to a couple of times. He was also listening to a creepypasta, which meant that every time I started to mumble my monologue, I was making him concentrate on me, rather than the screams of the damned.

Which were probably created in a studio where no one was being harmed.

That was the thing about creepypastas, the thing which had driven Tony to become an adventurer.

 He wanted real horror! He wanted real screams!

And he was apparently going to start killing goblins soon, or so I hoped.

Because... because if I was really going to get just 10% of the catch, I didn't know how I was going to hire gardeners to do my quest for me!

It was probably going to be illogical to even try, but well, I needed to think fast! I needed to think on my feet! To trick Tony somehow!

I looked at him.

There he was, with that strange black stuff around his ears, which was probably telling him how the people were dying there in the creepypastas.

I just needed to wait. That strange black stuff was under an illusion.

Wait! It was a headset.

As soon as I realized that, I smiled.

A smile which vanished seconds later.

He was on the Onion, and that was a place most vile, I knew that I only had one chance!

One chance to make it all right…

I took out my onion connector. It was in the shape of an onion. Actually… it was a real onion.

The fairy who had created the onion had a sense of humor. No one wanted to eat raw onions, except people who did want to eat raw onions, I guess.

But I wasn't one of them.

So, every time someone wanted to go on the Onion, they either had to have a headset, a magical rune, or, of course, to eat an onion.

I began to eat it, tears streaming down my face.

Man, I hate raw onions!

It was quite strange because I had no problems with onions, when grilled, or in a soup.

 But raw, oh, how I hate them!

 They were bitter and slimy, and that onion which I was eating was probably bad.

But, well, I needed to go on the Onion.

I snuck into his feed, listened to the creepypasta, and then, just as the villain was going to say, "I'm going to break your hands now, little by little, and you will never be the same again, and there will never be a way out for you," I decided to change the narrative a little bit!

So instead of him saying, "I will break your hands," I had the villain say, "and now I will give you treasure but later break your hands!"

 Slowly, but surely, I began to change the narrative of the whole story!

At the end, I heard the scream, but that scream was Tony's! Finally, Tony felt true horror!

The horror of knowing that one day you were going to get what was coming to you!

He took the headset off, shaking.

I grinned at him.

 I had already cleaned my face of any traces of rotten onions, and well, there was only one way to check.

 He, of course, knew it too.

Tony made a step towards me. I made sure that my mouth was shut.

"What? No smart comment?"

 It was a strange thing for him to say. An incredibly strange thing. I simply took another step back.

"What is it, Mike? No, seriously, stop with that, I'm not gay."

That was a very good thing to hear from him, but I honestly didn't want to challenge fate.

"Mike, I'm telling you; there's nothing to worry about, I just need someone to drag dragon teeth to the Black Market and then from the Black Market to the bank."

Ah, Tony was new at this!

He probably didn't even know that he got hacked in his Onion!

"Besides," he clapped me on the shoulders. Both of his hands dug their nails into my flesh.

Yes, my flesh!

 The git stole my armor earlier that day!

I still couldn't understand why he did it. He couldn't fit in it. I was slender, and he was slower, besides.

He probably wanted to sell it to the goblin Black Market. The only precious thing I had, and he took it from me…

Were all heroes like that? Was that my fate?

"Well, look here, Mike," he said my name so, as if he was begrudging something.

Yes, begrudging! It wasn't a word I used often.

For the love of me, I wasn't even sure I knew what it meant, but yes, this time he had begrudging vibes.

"I will give you back your armor, if you tell me more of those creepypastas, like the one that you put in my Onion!"

He probably didn't know what the Onion was yet, and he probably thought that all those creepypastas that he had been listening to up to now were actually made up by me!

 The gears in my brain began to turn.

If he was thinking that I had made up the creepypastas, then he was going to make me tell him more creepypastas!

I knew what made him shudder!

The fact that he wasn't above the law, and no, he wasn't going to be a better person if he became a hero by making me live off 10% of the dragon's teeth.

"Creepypastas? Sure, Tony," it was my turn to be the witch in the woods. The one who lived in the candy house. "I'll tell you more creepypastas! I'll tell you all the creepypastas in the world! But you have to do something for me!"

I smiled, making a pause.

"And you will always have creepypastas from me, Tony," I spat out his name, the way he had been spitting out "Mike" all those times.

"But you will have to give me 50%!"

 Here I pulled out the system screen, scrolled down, now in my part of it, and then showed him a script in yellow: henchman it read. 10% forever.

The shame!

 I just flipped him with the bird, gave him the sack with the teeth, and then looked up at the sky.

"I don't wanna be his henchman, he is a very bad employer!"

Tony began to shake his head.

I was on a roll!

"He doesn't pay for my health insurance!"

Tony got the system screen.

"Pay the health insurance, the 50%, the monthly salaries, and the pension fund, or end your hero status."

Tony became my worst enemy…

Which was normal seeing as he was my boss.