NOVEL WEB Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Tony Doesn't Like Me.
Well, I wasn't prepared for this, for this life as a henchman.
But if anyone was going to do this, then I! Because as much as I hated to admit it, I was just a henchman who, for better or for worse, knew only a couple of magic tricks.
And, well, was not very strong.
"You know, you should eat more," he said.
For someone who, like Tony, didn't think I was worth much, he sure as hell wanted to fatten me up.
"Well," I said, thinking that maybe if I was lucky, he was going to give me some favors, such as a cut of the profit, maybe a place to sleep, and, of course, food!
"And, well," Tony told me, as he clapped me on the back.
I now knew that he knew all along what I was trying to do, but he simply hadn't cared enough to stop my charade.
"I think you really, really need to drink more water, Mike."
Well, at least he remembered my name. That was better than most of the things I would have done had he been the henchman.
"And now," Tony continued, as he scrolled through the system screen, not really reading any of it, just going from stat to stat. "I think that I should start putting points away. I already have 10 in intelligence."
Which, to be fair, was something that I could believe. After all, he had outsmarted me and had turned me into his henchman.
Man, even now, in this tavern, I am still smarting over that one.
Tony continued to scroll down.
"I think I could do it a bit more height, don't you think? So let's put it in health!" He put 5 points into health, which should be a cheat.
After all, who the hell started off with 5 points in health?
It was illegal, I tell you!
And just like that, right after that cheat, he ended up taller than me! Cute, adorable Tony, the one whom I thought would always be shorter, was now taller!
And more muscular!
I looked at the system screen, then at my side of the system. I reached out, trying to tell the points where they should go.
I wanted some in health, darn it! To be taller, muscular!
I wanted for my wings to get feathers so I can take to the skies!
Ah, dreams.
Tony looked at me with the expression of someone who had just stepped in dog poop and patted me on the head.
"No, no, no, Mike," he sounded like a witch in the woods, one who lived in a candy house. "No. Mike," he started to muse about my future, my hopes and my dreams, slowly taking over my slave rune which, to be fair, was going to kill me anyway.
Seeing as the life of someone in the army instead of a hero's henchmen was a short one.
Most of us, well, those suckers who actually took their diplomas, who didn't get to talk to Tony, weren't going to survive those 15 years.
That was a universal truth.
"Let's see now, you're tall, so you don't need health. I will..."
Was I really never going to fly? Was Tony really that cruel?
"But you, well, let me touch those wings."
I went away as if burnt! Jumping away, my wings even fluttering!
How dare he?
We were both boys, soon to be men, and he wanted to touch my mating ornament?
I might have actually whimpered the phrase "mating ornament" out loud.
Tony looked at me as if I were stupid.
He had these looks. I would soon learn that he had about five in total which had anything to do with me:
I stepped in dog poop, and you're so dumb it's you probably only have one brain cell and why do I bother with you and of course oh so you can actually carry my burdens which was an evil look, and of course, the shut up and eat what I give you look because for all that Tony was adorable and wanted to be evil, was actually pretty similar to myself.
He, unlike a lot of people, was a good sort, them good sorts were always kind, always paid you, always made sure that you slept, or at least that was what they hoped for.
I was ready to beg for mercy, darn it!
And I was not ashamed to admit it.
Tony made a step towards me, taking a hold of my chin. I went pale again.
Was this it?
"No!" I yelled at him.
He looked at me as if I were deranged.
"I don't like blonds, you're a fairy, you should have been pink-haired."
I suppose that, well, this common misconception about fairies was grounded in something, something primal, something ancient, but I for the life of me didn't know in what exactly.
My wings were blue, my hair was yellow, my eyes were blue, so I wasn't exactly a typical fairy.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that my father was a human and my mother was only a third fairy.
Yeah, I had a very colorful family tree.
"And besides," Tony continued, so as if he really didn't want to pay me attention, but he needed to defend his honor, "I already have a girlfriend."
I blinked. Tony had a girlfriend? That was unbelievable.
Comments that went along the lines of "what did she copy of your homework for the entire duration of the academy days?" bubbled inside of me.
But I decided that as Tony's new henchman, I should just shut up and let him lead this dance.
I shook my head. I really shouldn't think about this as a dance.
Tony looked at me again.
"You're depraved. What am I going to do with you?"
That didn't give me any courage, but he pointed at the single thing I thought that he was going to agree with me on.
The strength stat.
"Look, Tony," I had lost all hope of him being a henchman and me being the hero.
I was just trying to survive.
"Look, Tony Macaroni, you have to give me some stats, and you might as well give me the strength stats because the only reason why I partied with you was the reason that you could drag around dragon teeth."
He put 5 points into strength, then he smirked.
"Well, good, now you can drag around dragon teeth."
He actually pointed to the pile.
I whimpered at the golden tooth. There was no way Tony was going to let me have that one.
It was lost forever and ever, and I was never going to profit from it.
"But you know, try to cheat me with the percentage or during the tax collection, and I'm going to have to kill you."
He said that with a straight face, the face of a sociopath masking in the sweetness of a 15-year-old who might or might not have a girlfriend.
I didn't know what sort of mental case he was, but I was going to find out.
Little by little, forgetting about me becoming a hero.
Until one day I did become a hero, while he, well, you'll find out.