NOVEL WEB 4
As evening fell, the Grand Duke Blake’s study transformed into a Cashew Nut Theme Park Party… or, more succinctly, a hamster fest.
Step right up! Who’s next for the Ferris wheel ride? In the blink of an eye, you’ll be lifted to the very top. Ride now and enjoy a free view of the Northern Grand Duke’s office!
Opportunities like this don’t come twice. Disco music? Ah, wait, then it’s not a Ferris wheel but a Disco Pang Pang? Whatever, hurry up and board. Welcome to the magical land of Cashew Nut Land.
In the midst of silence, I absentmindedly shook my head and spun the wheel with my hand.
Clatter, clatter.
At first, the wheel was so heavy that it barely moved, but once it gained momentum, it spun with exhilarating speed.
Turning it with my hand still counts as running, right? Doesn’t it? These are feet too—front feet.
[ㄟ(˘ o ˘)ノ]
…Turning it with my hand still counts… right?
No, just look at these small, fragile hands. You heartless system bastard. If I try running on this with my legs, I’ll die an untimely death!
‘Hey, excuse me, System?’
You there, are you even listening?
[0003/1000]
Wait, you’re seriously not counting even a single rotation?
[I am a heartless system! ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ*)]
Ah…
I started spinning the wheel with increasing force, nearly slamming it. Even as it rattled like it was about to break apart, my frustration did not subside in the slightest.
This damn Ferris wheel—no, this damn running wheel. How long will it take to run a thousand laps? Can’t the system turn a blind eye and allow a little workaround?
No. This is Kyle’s fault. Who the hell buys a running wheel without considering the size of their pet hamster? Look at this monstrosity, big enough for a guinea pig to sprint around comfortably!
This shitty life! This goddamn rodent existence!
I had been venting my frustration for who knows how long when suddenly—click—the door swung open without so much as a knock. Naturally, the one who entered was the master of the estate, Kyle.
‘Wait, what is this, some countryside village? He finished patrolling the entire territory in no time? That doesn’t make sense. It hasn’t even been half a day…’
Oh. Right. I took a nap.
Kyle Jane Meinhardt strode toward the hamster house with an imposing presence. His gait was nothing short of befitting a ruler of the North.
And his attire? A thick cloak to block the icy winds, armor of iron and leather, and boots that reached up to his knees, perfect for trekking through snowy terrain.
Everything about him was breathtakingly fitting, as if winter itself had sculpted him—an austere, melancholic beauty.
“Cashew Nut?”
He called out to me in a puzzled voice.
It made sense to be confused. The first thing he saw upon returning was a spinning, empty running wheel and a missing hamster. Well, not missing—I had just retreated into my tiny hideout.
“…Your butt is showing.”
…Is it now. No wonder the house felt a bit small.
Feeling awkward, I sheepishly crawled out of the hideout.
“I’d love nothing more than to spend time with you right now… but unfortunately, I have a mountain of documents to review today.”
―Squeak. (I decline.)
“Yes, I’m heartbroken too.”
―Squeaaak. (No, I’m not. Stop projecting.)
Heartbroken, my ass. I hope you use your alone time to refine yourself into an even more dignified Grand Duke. Stop chipping away at your dignity with kisses and excessive affection.
Kyle shot me a look that all but screamed he wanted to pull me out and smother me with kisses. However, it seemed he wasn’t lying about being busy. Instead of acting on his desires, he simply sighed and took his seat at the desk, though his gaze remained burning hot.
‘Well, yeah. It’s not like titles are handed out just because someone swings a sword well.’
If that were the case, the imperial throne wouldn’t be inherited—it would be passed down through duels. Like it or not, managing a domain meant dealing with tedious paperwork. Turns out, making a living is tough no matter where you go.
‘…Still, he’s kind of cool. That work ethic.’
I settled into the bedding of wood shavings, watching Kyle.
He was diligently organizing something on parchment scrolls. I couldn’t see his handwriting from here, but I had a feeling it would be exceptionally neat.
He worked so intently that it was as if he had completely forgotten my existence.
‘Even a guy with just a month left to live is working this hard…’
Well, not that he has the slightest clue his life will end so soon.
I brushed off my knees and stood up. For some reason, I felt like I needed to do something.
…Not because I had nothing better to do after getting a full night’s sleep and a nap, of course.
Alright, if I have to run a thousand laps, I might as well finish them as quickly as possible! What kind of people are we? We’re Koreans—speed is our thing!
I resolved to carry out my ultimate ‘fast completion strategy.’
And how does one finish quickly? Well, as a developer, the answer is simple… an all-nighter.
Developers are creatures of the night. Just like the beacon of Pangyo, I shall burn myself out once more!
[That’s a great idea! (*´╰╯`๓)]
‘Don’t smile. That won’t make me like you.’
[(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞]
I let out a long sigh and climbed onto the running wheel. Mustering what little strength I had left, I ran on that absurdly massive Ferris wheel with all four limbs.
I’ve been a drunken mess before, but I’ve never been a hamster running on a wheel… Well, at least both involve having four legs, so that’s something.
Dududuk.
After a few laps, I started getting the hang of it.
From my earlier attempt, I realized that instead of trying to speed up from the start, it was easier to let my body follow the natural momentum once the wheel reached a decent pace. The wheel was heavier than expected, and pushing it with my feet wasn’t an easy task.
Dududuk. Crunch, crunch. Dadadak. Crunch, crunch. Tudadadak. Crunch, crunch. Drrrrk. Thud. …Ah. I fell.
Lying sprawled on the floor, I cautiously glanced to the side.
‘…He didn’t see that, right?’
It seemed like he hadn’t. Kyle was still flipping through his reports with a serious expression. Either his concentration was impressive, or he just didn’t care.
“…All done.”
After a few hours, Kyle finally stood up, rolling his stiff neck with a crack.
By that time, I was so exhausted I could taste bitterness in my mouth. If I didn’t want to work myself to death, I needed a break.
[0213/1000]
‘Alright. Just a short rest. Once that guy heads to his bedroom, I’ll stay behind and power through until dawn—’
Clack.
Just then, the ceiling of the hamster house opened.
Whatever. Do what you want. He’ll just shower me with affection for a bit, then put me down and go to sleep. Meanwhile, I’ll keep running, hit a thousand laps, turn human, ditch this pet hamster fate, and move on to the next quest.
A flawless plan—assuming I could survive another eight hundred or so laps.
“Then, I’ll be taking this.”
‘…Huh? Wait a second.’
Hey! My running wheel!
On instinct, I clung to the wheel. Do you have any idea how much effort went into this thing?! You ignored it all this time, and now you suddenly care?
I gripped it tightly with my tiny front paws, but Kyle paid no mind. He effortlessly pulled the wheel out of the house, carefully holding me with his other hand and prying me off the wheel without a struggle.
—Squeak squeak squeak squeak! (You thieving bastard!)
“I understand that you’ve grown fond of it, Cashew Nut, but this is enough. I’m worried you might damage your knee joints.”
—Squeak! Squeak squeak! (Have you never seen a hamster run on a wheel before?!)
“Yes, yes. I know you’re upset. But it’s for your health, so try not to take it too hard.”
Kyle placed the wheel far out of reach—then promptly planted a kiss on my belly.
I retaliated with a series of furious kicks to his cheek before frantically calling for the system.
‘Hey! Be honest, this doesn’t count! How am I supposed to complete the quest without the wheel?!’
[Become a proactive hamster! (•̀ᴗ•́)و]
I clenched my tiny fists, seething. If the system had a physical form, I’d have smacked it upside the head.
What? A proactive hamster? You want to talk about proactive when I’m stuck here, getting forcefully kissed by the Northern Grand Duke?!
If that’s the case, why not let me reincarnate as a proper magical beast instead?! Hell, even if I had possessed Serena, my fate would be better than this. Sure, she had her own struggles, but at least she wasn’t a speechless animal!
Human rights.
Give me back my human rights, you shitty world!
“You must be hungry. After all that running, it’s only natural to feel famished.”
And now, he thought my frustration was nothing more than a childish tantrum caused by hunger.
Still fuming, I stomped over to the transparent glass wall and pressed myself against it.
Kyle rummaged through a drawer beside the door, then pulled something out and extended it toward me—a macadamia nut.
“You can have it.”
His voice was so gentle, you’d think he was talking to a lover.
I reached out with my tiny hands, gripping his fingers tightly—not for the macadamia, but to sink my teeth into his hand instead.
Just then, a new system window popped up before my eyes.
[Above all, I am a human, not a hamster. I do not engage in the barbaric act of biting just anything.]
That was something I had once told the system.
Yeah. That was a long time ago. But that Baek Soo-hyun died yesterday.
I, the newly reborn Baek Soo-hyun, bite people now.
At my age, meat is preferable to nuts.
Besides, isn’t this karma? If you don’t want to get bitten, then don’t do things that deserve it.
“Your teeth must be itching.”
Contrary to my expectations, Kyle remained completely unfazed. Instead of reacting to the pain, he calmly lifted me up by my bottom and started inspecting me with a concerned look.
Hey, what are you looking at?
Stop it. Don’t lift my butt up like that.
Just give me back my running wheel!
“Be good and play quietly.”
With that, he left me in the house and returned to his bedroom.
Click.
The lights in the study flicked off, plunging the room into silence.
I collapsed onto the wood shavings and pounded the ground.
‘My wheel…’
Seriously, what a fantastic day.