NOVEL WEB 3
God, please do something about this damn hamster otaku, will you?
“Did just one side of your fur get squished?”
Have you never seen a hamster—or rather, a person who’s been lying on their side sleeping all day?
“It’s shockingly adorable…”
Hey, get those lips away.
Your snout.
Move your damn snout.
This wretched snout, seriously!
The cold and stern ruler of the North, the strongest man of the Meinhardt Empire, the Grand Duke of Blood… my ass. With a face that looked like he could kill multiple people with just his gaze, he was currently fanboying at a level beyond human comprehension.
Ten times should be enough. Get your face away already!
“I thought you were sick, Cashew Nut. You slept for so long.”
Unfortunately, I’m perfectly fine. Apparently, hamsters are supposed to sleep a lot. Even I didn’t know I’d be this knocked out.
Thinking about the fact that my caretaker is Kyle, I realize I’d better not get sick at all. If I so much as cough once, all the windows of Blake Castle will be sealed shut, and the fireplaces will be burning until the air is stiflingly hot.
After confirming that I was awake, Kyle placed me in his hands and started showering me with an insane amount of kisses.
I was dying, for real.
—Squeak! (Let go!)
I said let go. You’re not letting go? Do I need to bite you so you understand the terror of a hamster…?!
[Quest! Quest! (⊙﹏⊙)!]
The system urgently popped up, stopping me.
I had already clenched his index finger tightly with both paws, ready to bite, when I hesitated and stared into empty space.
‘…I forgot. I promised to be a good companion to my human.’
He was being so damn annoying that I nearly forgot my duty as a pet hamster and sank my teeth into him.
Anyway, I didn’t bite Kyle.
That’s right. I have intelligence and self-control. Sure, I somehow ended up in a hamster’s body, but inside, I’m a fully educated twenty-seven-year-old adult. If I went around biting people just because I didn’t like something, how would I be any different from a wild beast?
I am civilized. I am rational.
“…Just now…”
Kyle stared at me, looking a little shocked. Did he notice that I was about to bite him? Feeling a bit awkward, I glanced sideways at him.
‘What. Why. What.’
It was an attempt. I didn’t actually bite you. I just barely put my mouth on it. How did he even notice? His intuition was freakishly sharp. Well, he is the Grand Duke of the North…
“Did you… kiss me? You’re truly adorable.”
For fuck’s sake, you dense bear of a man. You’re not the Grand Duke of the North—you’re the Northern Bear.
Anyway, since I successfully resisted a great temptation, the quest was safely completed.
[Miracle Points: Currently 1.3%]
‘…What is this number?’
They said it was a “small miracle,” but this is ridiculously small. At this rate, how the hell am I supposed to come back to life? I might as well die again.
[(ง°̀ω°́)ง A chance to restore your humanity!]
I half-listened to Kyle’s fanboying while checking my rewards.
[A human-like hamster… or perhaps, really a human?!]
‘Yes! That’s it! Good job!’
Maybe… maybe it’ll actually turn me back into a human?!
Finally, some sense! This whole hamster possession thing was just too much. It’s not like I was refusing to save Kyle or anything, so at the very least, let me escape this godforsaken hamster fate first…
[A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single wheel!]
What?
[Run on your hamster wheel 1,000 times.]
[Reward: “Reload.”]
‘One thousand times?’
Are you kidding me? Reload? The only thing you’re reloading is my fury!
I clenched my tiny fist in the air. Come here, system. Just one hit. Just one punch. Put your jaw right here.
[(˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅);;;]
Don’t you dare cry. I am not going soft over some fake tears. And seriously, what the hell is “Reload”? Why would I run 1,000 laps without even knowing what it does? It’s not like I’ll immediately turn human.
‘Fine, let’s hear it out first.’
I’ll listen, and if it’s total bullshit, I’ll take a different quest.
[It’s a great reward!]
I raised my fist again.
Don’t even think about bluffing your way out of this. I’m the type to only check the “Required Terms & Conditions” box when signing up on websites. You think you can scam me?
[(́ඉ⌓ඉ);;;]
While I was wrestling with the system, Kyle had been absentmindedly stroking my forehead, back, and behind my ears the entire time.
…Fine. If that makes you happy, so be it.
At least it was better than him suddenly smothering me with kisses. This was much more wholesome.
[Giving you a hint is the best I can do.]
The system flickered a few times, as if feeling guilty.
[If I tell you the details, the reward conditions will only become stricter.]
It didn’t sound like a lie. I mean, why would it even need to lie? There were plenty of things about it that seemed suspicious, but at least it was trying to help me survive.
It was even using those weird little emoticons, probably to seem more friendly.
I didn’t have any other options, so I had no choice but to trust it.
‘Still, what the hell is this so-called “miracle” that I have to suffer this much for? Do things like Moses parting the sea count as miracles too?’
[I’ll give you 10%! (✧•⌄•)]
IF I PART THE SEA, you’re only giving me a measly 10%?!
I shot a disgruntled glare at Kyle, who was fiddling with my tiny front paws.
Well, whatever. If I manage to save him, something will happen.
Even though I dropped the novel halfway through, I did read Winter’s Heart pretty diligently while Kyle was still alive.
Kyle Jane Meinhardt had a bad relationship with Belial, the second prince of the Meinhardt Empire and the novel’s male lead. They both had feelings for the same woman, and Belial—who was wary of Kyle—would frequently humiliate him. Once Belial confirmed that Kyle’s heart was set on Serena, the novel’s heroine, he started outright antagonizing him.
Now that I think about it… did Kyle, the so-called emotionless Grand Duke, really love Serena?
It was hard to imagine him being obsessed with the novel’s female lead.
“This tiny nose and those pink little toes… truly, they’re absolutely divine…”
…Actually, on second thought, I can imagine it.
Your Highness, please, don’t act like this in public. Young or old, man or woman, everyone would flee to the farthest southern village.
I mean, your face is already terrifying when you smile.
Anyway, I really wished this hamster otaku would let me go already.
Yes. Please. I have a hamster wheel to run on.
Not too much, not too little—exactly one thousand laps.
…God, why must a kindhearted hamster like me suffer such trials?
“Your Grace, are you inside?”
Just then, someone knocked on the study door. I heard the faint clinking of armor—probably one of Blake territory’s knights.
Kyle gently set me down inside my house and straightened up.
His face, backlit by the window, slowly hardened. Colder, even colder, until his expression was as sharp as a blade forged from the fiercest northern winds.
“Enter.”
“Your Grace. Before you depart on your mission tomorrow, you should inspect the territory. The merchants should be arriving soon as well.”
“Hmm.”
A low, heavy voice rang through the room.
The playful expression from earlier had vanished completely, replaced by an icy, somber demeanor.
Kyle picked up the documents from his desk and discussed matters with his subordinates. The conversation moved so quickly that if I lost focus for even a second, I’d miss three different topics.
Of course, a mere hamster like me didn’t need to understand the Grand Duke’s affairs, but…
‘So this is the real him.’
Watching this unfamiliar side of Kyle, I felt strangely emotional.
His firmly pressed lips, his calm eyes, his slow yet authoritative gestures—all of it made him seem like a completely different person.
‘Actually… this is probably his normal self. The way he acts around me is just…’
…He was oddly human in more ways than one.
“I’ll be back soon.”
A shadow fell over me. Kyle gazed down at me and spoke gently.
“It’ll be boring, but wait just a little. I won’t be long.”
No, no, no. It’s official estate business, so don’t rush through it. You’d better check everything thoroughly.
Kyle looked at me with clear reluctance, but he didn’t hesitate long before leaving the study.
Well, of course. He was at his busiest right now.
The Blake territory was in constant turmoil these days—both internally and externally.
The North was a harsh land where the ground was barren and half the year was practically winter.
Not only were there frequent monster outbreaks, but the Imperial family was always looking for a chance to eliminate Kyle, the Grand Duke.
So assassination attempts were a given, and on top of that, plenty of people were trying to crush him politically.
The guy barely had time to breathe.
‘I could help him avoid fighting Belial, but there’s no way to stop him from overworking himself…’
Honestly, worrying about him when I’m the one with the bigger problem is kind of ridiculous.
I grumbled to myself as I climbed onto the hamster wheel.
‘Why the hell is this thing so damn big?’
Is this even a hamster wheel?!
Can we legally call it that?!
Going by size alone, this thing was practically a Ferris wheel.
Forget hamsters—if a monster ran on this, it’d probably blow out its joints.
Wait, is that gold plating on the frame?
Grand Duke Blake, sir, do you have money rotting in your vaults?
Do Northerners sprinkle gold flakes on their pasta instead of cheese or something…?
Running a thousand laps on a normal hamster wheel would be hell.
But on this massive thing? My knees were aching just thinking about it.
[Fighting! (૭˙∇˙)૭]
Ugh. I literally avoided getting a gym membership because I hate treadmills.
I’d rather starve than work out.
Look, it’s a known fact that developers don’t exercise. We do that shit in games.
Who even has time for workouts? We’re too busy forgetting what our own families look like.
And yet, here I was, willingly moving my legs…
‘I… I’m gonna die…’
Sure enough, I was gasping for breath before I even finished a few laps.
My endurance was already bottom-tier, and now that it was combined with the pathetic stamina of a hamster, I had officially become the weakest lifeform on Earth.
After exactly three laps, I collapsed.
To make matters worse, I tripped, got stuck to the wheel, spun halfway around, and tumbled off like a ragdoll.
Ah, fuck this.
But listen—developers are naturally a fragile species.
If I had a sturdy build and broad shoulders, do you think I’d be a developer? No! I’d be shaking protein shakes morning and night, walking the path of a fitness trainer.
In our profession, if you can avoid getting tech neck, you’ve already won in life.
‘I don’t care. Not doing it. Can’t do it. Just kill me already.’
[☞☜☞Relood☜☜☜]
The system was in such a rush that it even made a typo.
Whatever. Whether you’re panicking or not, Kyle won’t be back for a while anyway.
Might as well take a nice, long nap.
There was exactly one good thing about being possessed like this:
Naps without worrying about work… were pure bliss.
Since sleeping on one side would make my fur all lopsided, I rolled over and lay on the other side this time.
Using the wood shavings as a cushion, I curled up comfortably.
With the annoying human gone, the room was utterly silent.
‘It’s been so long since I’ve felt this kind of peace.’
Say what you want, but this was a kind of tranquility I never got to experience as a human.