The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

The seasons must have changed a thousand times.

The mountains and trees must have been born and died ten times over.

During that long time, I was just wasting my days, existing.

Without achieving anything, without even nurturing the desire to change, I was stuck, like a rock rolling around in the street where people pass by.

Yeah.

What I did could have easily been done by someone else passing by, not necessarily me.

There was no value in me.

“—Hey, it’s time to get up.”

“…..Mmm….”

But not anymore.

Now, there are things only I can do.

Maybe because I read a book until last evening, today the child seemed to want to sleep a lot. Perhaps she didn’t want to leave her blanket; she was curled up tightly around it.

I got up early prepared breakfast and sat down next to the still-sleepy child.

Swish, I gently ran my fingers through the beautiful silk-like hair of the child, enjoying the sensation.

Zing!

It felt like an electric current was flowing through my fingertips.

The food might get cold, but that didn’t matter. I could just heat it up.

Right now, this brief moment is much more important.

The old me, who cursed the unmoving sun and wished for tomorrow to come, has vanished. The current me only finds this flowing time, like sand falling through my fingers, so harsh.

I wish this moment could last forever.

I thought that the person in this place should be me and no one else.

I can never allow someone else to sit beside this child.

A month has passed since I started calling her Alice. Compared to my previous life, it would be a fleeting moment, barely worth mentioning.

But that fleeting moment is exactly what I truly wanted.

Slowly, my value was born.

Yeah, this is life.

This is what life is all about.

Rough, cruel, and yet wildly intoxicating poison.

That poison is consuming me.

“—Alice, if you don’t wake up, I’m going to tease you?”

“……Ugh… just a little… just a little more…”

“Really… can’t have that..”

Right now, I felt alive.

The day when Elli, with determination in her heart, gave me a new name.

Even the sun seemed to shine joyfully upon us that day, yet it began to hide beyond the distant mountains. Because time didn’t care about us.

What a fun day it was.

Really, it was great.

“Really… Elli Unnie too..!!”

“Hah… hah… I got swept up in the mood, couldn’t help it.”

“Hmph! I’m going to be upset!”

Swish, I deliberately pulled down the collar of my clothes. The area where my neck meets my shoulders was probably stained red.

Of course, I couldn’t confirm that but given that I could feel some sharpness, it was probably quite a painful situation.

To think I would be bitten for not waking up.

That’s overdoing it.

I pouted my lips and showed her my wound. Here, look! This mark! I was protesting.

“You’re going to be upset..? Unnie, I’m.. upset..”

“…Sometimes being upset isn’t so bad.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“Oh, nothing.”

After that day, Elli changed as if someone had flipped a switch.

Unlike before when she kept her distance like an invisible wall, her proactive approach surprised me a lot.

Seeing her playfully acting in the morning was truly a first.

People show unexpected sides when they get close, but this was more like an entire facade had changed.

That saying about how a monk doesn’t let a flea remain when they learn the taste of meat applies here; once she learned the concept of love, she could never return to her old, loveless life.

Well, she was trying hard to avoid getting too attached, putting in a lot of effort.

In the end, it was clear she was headed deep into the mud.

She should have just accepted it and let herself relax.

Love is like a thorn; the more you try to pull it out, the deeper it goes.

Hehe.

I felt a bit sad that I couldn’t see the cold and indifferent Elli anymore, but the current version is nice too, so not all that bad.

It’s a good change.

Yeah, people should approach others and build connections like this.

I was just showing her the correct way to live.

A mere brushing of clothes is still a connection.

But with every meeting, there’s a parting,

And with love, there is separation.

“So, Alice, what can I do for you?”

“…..Give me.”

“Huh?”

“….Feed me.”

“……”

Ah, this is dangerous.

I instinctively realized.

With my words, her atmosphere froze. But soon, Unnie Elli regained her senses, and I felt an uncertain tension shift surrounding her, making me think,

Ah, I messed up saying that.

I was contemplating escaping for a moment, and before I could act on that thought, it happened quickly.

And I was caught just as fast.

I didn’t even hear the sound of her pulling out a chair or walking over. It took barely a few seconds for her to catch me, trained from countless games of tag.

Ugh, it’s okay! I can eat by myself!

No, didn’t you just ask me to feed you?

See, it was just a joke! So it’s okay!

When you joke around, you get punished. So—

Ugh?!

After that, I was embarrassingly fed.

Holding me like a baby, Elli blew on each spoonful she gave me.

Waaah, I’m baby Alice.

Whine.

For the record, the food was delicious.

Tsk.

A month passed and Elli underwent numerous changes.

One could say everything about her had changed, from her tone to her mannerisms; it would be quicker to list what hadn’t changed. Let me try to highlight three major examples.

First, Elli started calling me ‘Alice’.

I have no idea where she came up with that name. While I can read others’ feelings well, I can’t read thoughts just like that.

Elli likely knows my original name and identity, ‘Aris’. Perhaps she called me by ‘Alice’, the name related to it.

That hypothesis seems plausible but…

—But something feels off.

She must want to avoid scenarios where I regain my memory, so I doubt she would give me a name full of hints or desires for me to remember.

And the deep emotions I felt when she called me Alice.

So chaotic, I couldn’t even understand the storm of feelings within myself. There has to be a deep story there.

Ugh… I really don’t get it.

There are no hints, and I doubt she’ll tell me if I ask.

My name isn’t that important, so maybe I shouldn’t think too much about it.

Well, maybe she had a friend named something like that back then?

Yeah, that’s it.

Next, the frequency at which she ‘disinfected’ my wounds decreased.

What used to be nearly daily disinfections dropped to about once a week.

The intensity had also significantly weakened. Her tongue barely brushed my wounds, not painful nor particularly itchy.

If before it felt like a deep frying, now it was more like a simple coating—something like that.

It didn’t seem to decrease simply because my wounds were healing; it felt like it changed overnight for some reason.

As Elli wrapped up the disinfection with an expression that seemed a bit disappointed, I wondered why…?

Finally, Elli began going out hunting at night more often.

I don’t know the reason.

Even though she held my hand and walked around during the bright day, why would she only go hunting at night?

And why has the frequency suddenly increased?

As a new child in this country who goes to bed early and wakes up early, I decided to ignore Elli’s odd behavior. After all, I’m nice.

From what I’ve observed over the past month, she seemed to go out every three days.

And, as always, she returned smelling strongly of blood.

Hunting.

So those chunks of meat that recently started appearing in my meals were brought directly by Elli! Rabbits and deer primarily.

Of course, hunting wasn’t non-existent before she started calling me Alice, but not at such a drastic frequency.

Once a week, at most.

I don’t eat that much to explain it just because I started eating meat.

Is that why? That intense smell of blood that I’ve sensed since we first met.

No matter how much I wash, that distinctive scent clinging to my fingernails, the folds of my ankles and knees, and behind my ears just doesn’t wash off.

And that began again.

So many have changed, but there was one thing that hadn’t changed.

The bandage over my eyes showed no signs of loosening even now that my wounds were almost healed.

I had asked a few times if it could come off, but the answer was always ‘not yet’.

Heh?

Ah, I really don’t know.

I’ve opened up completely to her.

Yet, she still has so many secrets hidden from me.

If she keeps this up, I’ll want to know.

This is Unnie’s fault.

When I first thought about wanting to uncover Elli’s secrets, my instinct warned me of danger.

“…….”

The instinct was quiet.

It felt good to think she cared for me.

Elli Unnie, we’re close, right?

Friends, yes, good friends.

So—

There shouldn’t be secrets between friends, right?

“Hehe.”

Cheshire grin, I smiled.

*

Episode 2. The Woman with the Smell of Blood (Part 1).

The end.

After a few side stories, the next part will be aired.

The side stories will be based on recommendations from comments and what I want to write.

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