Surviving marriage in yandere world

The Grand Bell of Goldaria tolled five times. Not four or six but five.

A number that would be forever etched into the annals of history and Rei's personal nightmares.

With each clang, a new wave of cheers erupted across the capital, followed immediately by mass confusion, explosive political debates, and the most chaotic wedding reception the continent had ever seen.

But none of that mattered right now because Duke Reinhardt von Edelweiss, now unofficially and accidentally officially married to five obsessive women, was currently being bridal-carried by a berserk dragon girl who insisted on being the first to "consummate their eternal union"—with flames coming out of her mouth in excitement.

"PUT ME DOWN, DRAKANA! I'M NOT A FIREPROOF STUFFED ANIMAL!"

"You're my husband now, Reirei~! I have rights!"

"You have fire breath, not rights!"

Behind them trailed an entourage of five royal carriages, each decorated in clashing colors of crimson, gold, midnight blue, sacred white, and assassin black. Crowds lined the streets screaming, fainting, or hurling vegetables, depending on which of the five brides they supported. At this point, entire nations had taken sides.

Nobles whispered and Spies reported that Generals rechecked their war plans.

And Rei?

He had mentally left his body approximately three declarations of love ago.

Earlier That Day…

The Grand Royal Palace Hall was filled to the brim. A record-breaking attendance, eclipsing even the coronation of the Holy Emperor. Tension swirled like whipped cream on a poisoned cake.

At the altar stood five brides.

Princess Seraphina of Solaria, the saintly sword-maiden who glowed with divine radiance and the blessing of three suns.

Drakana, the literal dragon-woman who once roasted a mountain because someone stole Rei's childhood drawing of her.

Rosette, the silent maid with a dagger in each sleeve and Rei's hair secretly woven into her garter.

Lilia, the smiling priestess and adoptive sister whose vows contained the phrase "til death, unlife, or reincarnation do us part."

And finally, Lady Xianhua, the mysterious foreign noble with enough political leverage to crash kingdoms—and a wedding ring tattooed on her palm since childhood.

All five looked like goddesses. All five radiated danger. All five believed they were marrying Rei—and worse, had paperwork to prove it.

Because somehow, due to the combination of one mistimed sneeze, a divine prank, and Rei's natural affinity for unintentional polygamy, five separate marriage certificates had been signed, sealed, and submitted—each approved by a different minister trying to avoid assassination from the bride in question.

It was bureaucracy meets yandere chaos.

"THIS ISN'T LEGALLY BINDING!" Rei shouted from the stage as priests, bishops, and two cardinals chanted wedding blessings from five different religions simultaneously.

"Oh, it is," muttered one of the royal officials. "Article 17, Clause 38-B: If five or more noble factions submit certified requests simultaneously under the Mutual Matrimony Emergency Accord…"

"THAT WAS A THEORETICAL JOKE!"

"Apparently not anymore."

The Honeymoon Suite – That Evening

The royal honeymoon chamber, normally reserved for one noble couple, now looked like the battlefield of a romantic apocalypse.

Candles were lit. Rose petals scattered. A suspiciously large king-sized bed dominated the room—one that had clearly been expanded via magic.

And sitting upon it were five very satisfied women.

Each wearing the bridal lingerie of her choice. Each staking claim to a corner of the bed like warlords dividing up conquered territory. Each shooting death glares at the others while smiling sweetly at Rei.

Rei, to his credit, stood frozen in the doorway with the dazed expression of someone who had just watched his life be turned into a harem sitcom written by a drunk god.

He staggered inside, collapsing backward onto the one remaining patch of bed that hadn't been claimed, his limbs sprawled out like a corpse.

That's when the System chimed in with the enthusiasm of a customer service rep who just watched you step into a bear trap.

[System Notification!]

[Main Mission Complete: Survive the Yandere Awakening Arc]

[Bonus Objectives Achieved:

Avoided fatal stabbing (x37)

Rejected poison (x12)

Maintained vitals during Forced Kiss Events (x5)]

[You have acquired a new Title: Shared Husband of the Apocalypse]

[Effect: +100 Charisma to obsessive women. -50 to sanity. Unable to equip 'Monogamy.']

[Unlocking Next Main Mission…]

Rei groaned. "Don't. Don't say it. I swear, if you say one more thing—"

[Next Main Mission: Marry the Demon Lord to Save the World!]

"…WHAT?!"

All five brides turned their heads in eerie unison.

Seraphina: "Excuse me?"

Lilia: "A demon… what?"

Rosette: (quietly unsheathing something under the blankets)

Drakana: "THE WORLD CAN BURN IF THAT BTCH TOUCHES MY HUSBAND!"

Xianhua: "I shall behead her in advance."

Rei sat up, pale. "Waitwaitwait! It's just a system glitch, a typo! Probably a joke! Haha—haaa please don't light the bed on fire again, Drakana—"

[This is not a drill. The Demon Lord's resurrection is nigh. Global catastrophe detected. Only marriage can trigger the Sealing Protocol.]

[Sub-quest: Kiss the Demon Lord Within 7 Days]

[Failure Condition: Total Planetary Annihilation]

[Reward: Access to Demon Realm Vacation Package. Also, continued life.]

He screamed into the pillow.

Meanwhile… Across the Continent

The announcement of the "Fivefold Wedding Union" sent the political world into frenzy.

The Solarian Theocracy declared it a divine sign of the prophesied "Chosen Husband."

The Northern Tribes renamed Rei's image as "Father of Flame-Hearted Sisters."

The Assassin's Guild issued an internal memo to stop all contracts on Rei—because they now owed him favors via Rosette.

The Church of Monogamy officially excommunicated him.

And the Ebon Demon Realm?

Their queen—tall, dark, beautiful, and surrounded by lava—stood from her throne and laughed.

"So… the fool chose five? How greedy. I like it."

She snapped her fingers.

"Prepare the marriage banquet."

Back in the Honeymoon Suite.

Rei poked his head out from under a pillow.

"Girls… hypothetically… if I had to—had to—marry someone else to prevent the apocalypse—"

Drakana lit a pillow on fire.

Seraphina started chanting divine judgment.

Rosette reached for the tracker she had embedded in Rei's rib.

Lilia smiled and began humming a wedding march backward.

Xianhua pulled out a brush and calmly began painting "DIE DEMON SLT" on a banner.

[System Warning: Spousal Aggro Reaching Maximum Threshold]

[Emergency Tip: Try initiating Group Bonding Event — Snuggle Night: Apocalypse Edition]

[Warning: Failure may result in multi-directional stab wounds.]

"SNUGGLE NIGHT IT IS!" Rei screamed, lunging for the covers and throwing himself between the girls.

Limbs tangled. A few claws drew blood. But miraculously, no one died.

Rei, cradled between a dragon leg and a holy thigh, let out one final wheeze.

"This… isn't peace…"

[System Comfort Message:

"You asked for love. You got obliteration. Close enough."]

[Prepare for Demon Lord's Wife — And Other World-Ending Problems!]

[Good luck, Host! You'll need it.]

Just when Rei thought he could fade into unconsciousness wrapped in a cocoon of bridal limbs and trauma, the ceiling above them began to glow.

A summoning circle—massive, arcane, and completely uninvited—whirled into existence with a dramatic flourish of black feathers, shimmering red glyphs, and a small tag that read: "Marriage Urgency Tier: Cataclysmic."

"Oh COME ON!" Rei shouted, now trapped between Lilia's holy aura and Rosette's suspiciously sharp nightgown straps.

From the center of the circle, a figure slowly descended.

Tall. Regal. Horns curved like obsidian crowns. Eyes glowing with infernal power. A gown made of night and dreams and embroidered with flames. She exuded a terrible beauty—like a goddess who watched too many soap operas and weaponized them.

The Demon Lord herself.

"Darling~," she purred, landing gracefully in high heels forged from regret and sin. "Did you miss me?"

Rei blinked. "I've never met you."

She winked. "That's because we haven't had our flashback episode yet."

Xianhua immediately stood up, brandishing a fan sharpened to a deadly gleam. "He's mine. Go back to your dimension, succubus."

The Demon Lord narrowed her eyes, smirking. "Ah, the foreign empress. Still relying on inherited fan techniques and misplaced possessiveness."

Seraphina raised her sword, which glowed with divine fire. "I smite you in the name of matrimonial decency!"

"Sweet," the Demon Lord replied. "You brought seasoning."

Drakana roared and began foaming sparks. Rosette vanished from the bed and reappeared behind the demon's shadow, daggers ready. Lilia simply muttered, "I can fit one more grave into the courtyard."

And Rei?

He did the only thing a man could do in such a situation.

He rolled off the bed, wrapped himself in the nearest comforter like a war-torn burrito, and crawled under a table.

[System Notification: {Survival Instinct +5}]

[Bonus Trait Gained: Bedbound Diplomat] [Effect: You can negotiate up to 2.3 seconds longer before being stabbed.]

The Demon Lord sauntered forward, unbothered. "I'm not here to fight… yet. Just here to announce the engagement."

The room froze.

"What engagement?" Rei asked, muffled through the comforter.

She smiled. "Ours, of course. You did sneeze during my summoning last week. That counts as consent under the Abyssal Court's Law of Matrimonial Manifestation."

[System Confirmation: {True. Technically. Don't ask how I know.}]

Rei groaned so hard it became a prayer.

The Demon Lord reached down, brushing his cheek. "See you at the altar… husband-to-be."

She vanished in a storm of rose-scented darkness and contractual doom.

Rei sobbed into the blanket. The room exploded.

To be continued… again. Probably with fire.

Rei: "Please… just let me be single for one day…"

System: [Request Denied.]