Stunned for You

Chapter 118

That night, Shi Yi looked like nothing had happened. After Fu Sitian had finished washing his clothes, the two of them reviewed their books for a while and turned off the lights to go to sleep.

It was very cold and the bed was cold at night. Fu Sitian always warmed her to her place before she went to bed. When Fu Sitian usually falls asleep, if Fu Sitian is still asleep, Shi Yi always likes to turn sideways, put his hands on her waist, face her, and fall asleep half-armed. Occasionally in interest, Shi Yi also uses hugs and kisses to start a sweet bedtime exercise with her.

But not tonight. She went to bed, said “Goodnight” to Fu Sitian, and lay on her back, wrapped her arms in the quilt, closed her eyes, and looked very sleepy.

Fu Sitian was a little strange, but didn’t think too much, after all, Yi’s performance was normal all night. She thought that Shi Yi was just too tired and had no such thoughts. The postgraduate entrance examination has entered the final sprint stage. There are still a lot of mess in their college this semester, and the reply was arranged in the last semester, just three days after the end of the postgraduate entrance examination, so that the instructor has recently frequently asked for interviews. The group meeting makes the time that is not well-off even more tense. It’s really annoying. She can understand Shi Yi’s pressure.

She didn’t bother Shi Yi, but stretched out her hand to help her tuck the quilt carefully, and lay down on her side where her pillow was closest to her.

Her nose, warm and soft, seemed to linger in Shi Yi’s ears, as gentle and lovable as her people.

Shi Yi was upset when he heard it.

She didn’t want to believe, nor should she believe that Si Tian would shake their feelings a little bit. She obviously should know how much Fu Sitian liked her and how firm his feelings were for them, but the moment she should open her mouth to ask, She flinched.

She clearly felt her timidity. It is not her character to escape, but she did so. She found herself scared. I don’t know where the source of the fear comes from. Perhaps it comes from the fact that the message revealed by the text message is too conclusive, perhaps it comes from Fu Sitian’s resistance to never discussing family affairs with her, or even more perhaps it comes from—they have tasted enough in the past six months. Life is not easy.

She already understood the phrase “life is not as simple as you think” what her mother said. Under such circumstances and pressure, it is not impossible for people to change, become weak, and compromise… After all, this is also human nature.

But there was a voice in her mind telling her: Si Tian is not such a person. The person she loves will not be such a person. She should know how sincere and beautiful she is.

It was too much for her to speculate on Si Tian with such thoughts, and not even give her a chance to defend her righteously. Shi Yi condemned himself, but couldn’t fully convince himself.

In pain and hesitation, she suffered from insomnia for most of the night.

The night gradually receded, and when the sky was about to dawn, she felt that Fu Sitian was half asleep, and she unconsciously reached out and touched the corner of her quilt, helping her lift the quilt.

It is a kind of love that is almost instinctive.

Shi Yi turned to look at her, breathing heavily. She traced her clean and soft facial features in detail with her eyes, and began to feel guilty and regretful.

She should be frank, should believe her, should talk to her.

She made a decision in her heart.

At noon the next day, Shi Yi returned from self-study in the library, and Fu Sitian had prepared two dishes and one soup for her as usual. The two sat opposite each other, eating and chatting.

When Shi Yi was thinking about how to ask her about the text message, Fu Sitian’s cell phone rang.

The caller ID was “grandma”, Fu Sitian embarrassedly greeted Shi Yi, picked up his mobile phone and went to the balcony to answer the call.

Shi Yi took a sip of the soup, put down the spoon, stared at the bowl, and didn’t move any more for several seconds.

This is the case every time, Fu Sitian will try to avoid her to answer all the calls related to his home. In fact, this is not wrong, it should be like this from a polite point of view. For a long time, she did not directly express anything to Fu Sitian. However, at this moment, Shi Yi felt strongly uncomfortable. She deeply felt the loneliness and anxiety of being isolated from a certain world of Fu Sitian.

This is the emotion that she has been able to suppress and resolve rationally in the past.

But at this moment, she couldn’t digest it.

She ate two more bites of rice with the same taste, watching Fu Sitian hung up the phone, and the figure who turned to come in thought that she should have said this feeling frankly to her.

But when Fu Sitian sat down at the table again and looked at her tenderly, she moved her throat, but she couldn’t open her mouth or put her face down, saying such fragile words from the heart.

It seems that the more intimate people are, the harder it is to say some words.

After a few seconds of silence, she cared nonchalantly: “Is grandma okay?”

Fu Sitian said concisely: “It’s okay.”

Shi Yi could see that she didn’t want to say much. If it was normal, she would stop there. But today, she didn’t turn the topic away and asked the bottom line: “Does she want you to go back to see her this weekend?”

Fu Sitian gave a soft “um”, paused, and added: “But I pushed it away. If she is in good condition for these two weeks, I will go back every other week before the postgraduate entrance examination.”

Of course Shi Yi knew why she was. In silence, she said, “It’s okay with me.”

Fu Sitian smiled faintly, and said, “For me, it matters.”

Shi Yi smiled reluctantly, lowered his eyelids, and asked, “What do you usually do when you go back?”

Fu Sitian replied naturally: “Take care of her, accompany her, cook and feed her at home. But she doesn’t have much time to speak mentally.”

Shi Yi’s heart was heavy and uncomfortable. She feels sorry for her hard work, but also uncomfortable… She wants to test her. But she was still tempted, and she asked her: “Then what will she talk to you when she is spirited?”

Fu Sitian was stunned for a moment, his speech was choked, his expression was obviously not just natural.

Before she could answer, Shi Yi continued to ask half-jokingly: “Will you care about your life-long events and urge you to find someone on a blind date?”

Fu Sitian’s heart trembled, and his breathing stopped. A lot of thoughts flashed in her mind between the flashing lights, and in the end, what she said was weak: “Fortunately, it won’t.”

She knows how possessive Shi Yi is and how jealous she is. She doesn’t want to add Shi Yi’s troubles and distract Shi Yi at this time. Now, let Shiyi take this exam well is the most important thing, and everything else can be pushed back.

She can hold it. Like a guilty conscience, and as if to make Shi Yi more at ease, she superfluously added: “Besides, I don’t want to, she can’t help it.”

Shi Yi’s heart felt cold for a moment.

She lied.

She really lied to her. Moreover, vowed.

Her whole heart was empty, her mind was confused, and for a moment she suddenly didn’t know how to face Fu Sitian’s face.

If she doesn’t want to go, then she went and met, does it mean that she wants to go and is willing to go?

Shi Yi couldn’t convince himself. She felt as if something she believed in the pillar had collapsed in her heart. No matter how many words, she couldn’t ask, and she didn’t have the courage to ask.

She wasn’t sure if she could tell if the answer was something she was not prepared to accept. She still seems to love her, or is she reluctant to bear it? Is it because she doesn’t ask, there may be a chance to maintain the illusion of calm like now, until… a turning point occurs.

So she was silent and evaded again, unlike herself, like a coward.

But some things happened, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t force herself to be uncompromising and unaffected. Especially when she is paying attention now, she will notice that Fu Sitian often avoids her to chat on WeChat.

Fu Sitian found that he didn’t know from which day, maybe two days ago, or maybe three days ago, in short, from a certain day, Shi Yi became more silent than before. It’s not that she doesn’t talk to her, she will answer when she talks to her, she just doesn’t seem to take the initiative to talk to her or share it with her.

No matter how cold the night is, she won’t hold her anymore.

She always turned her back to her, leaving her a thin and indifferent back. Even if she leaned forward cheeky and hugged her from behind with shaking hands, she would just pretend to sleep. Will not turn around, will not respond to her at all.

Fu Sitian was painful and at a loss.

She didn’t know what happened, but she realized that there was a problem between her and Shi Yi. Even if she was lying on a bed, even if she held Shi Yi so intimately, she felt that she couldn’t feel the temperature of Shi Yi anymore.

There seemed to be a deep gully between them. The cold wind poured into the quilt and filled their bodies. It was biting cold and painful.

Fu Sitian looked up at the dark ceiling and couldn’t tell whether he really slept in the night. This love, persisting here, to Shi Yi’s point of view, she became more and more uncertain. But no matter what, there is only one week left, wait a little longer, wait a little longer, and wait until the exam is over.

She demanded of herself.

So they pretended to be calm, enduring and suffering with each other.