Passion (BL Novel)

"The South American branch, huh? Those guys have a bit of a strange mindset, don't they? You know how it is with South Americans. Have you ever seen them play soccer? They’re hot-headed, like flowers blooming in their hair—just like that."
When Carlos said that, Jeong Tae-ui nodded thoughtfully, tapping his knee. Ah, so that’s what he meant by “strange in the head.” It was a highly discriminatory comment, but somehow it clicked. He could understand it now. If the South Americans heard this, they’d likely explode in rage, but still.
In the diagonal front row, Alta muttered grimly, a dark expression clouding his face.

"South Americans... I’ve got a bit of a grudge against them. Last year, during joint training, a South American guy used my room and ended up splitting my bamboo pillow in half. That bastard better not show up this time. I’ve been waiting for this since last year."
"If he comes here and you go to Australia, then all your grudge will be for nothing," said Toe, in an entirely reasonable tone, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears with Alta.
"Well, after the draw tonight, we’ll know what happens to Alta. We’ll see who’s coming over there," another voice chimed in, giving a slight shrug.

"Settling grudges isn’t easy, you know."
"Besides, if you’re unlucky, you might end up picking a fight that only adds to your grudge. You remember what happened to Zhenchi? He ran into the guy who knocked him down in the sparring match last year. He went to settle the score, but he couldn’t handle the weight of the guy, ended up getting knocked down, and got pinned under him."
"Ah, I remember now. He sprained his ankle and had to limp around for a while, right?"

Even during the lecture, the quiet whispers could be heard from various corners. Zhenchi, who had heard the whispers from afar, began to mutter something, but no one paid any attention.
Jeong Tae-ui couldn't help but chuckle.
As the joint training with South America drew closer, Jeong Tae-ui felt a sense of relief. It wasn’t for any particular reason—when an external threat loomed, people tended to come together. Now, the colleagues who had been quarreling were all fired up, preparing for the training, leaving no time to direct hostility at him.

"Alright, fine. As long as they don’t target me until the joint training is over, I’ll be fine," he thought, nodding to himself with a sense of satisfaction. Besides, once the training ended, this chaotic storm would settle.
His mood improved as he realized that this joint training with South America was nothing like the one with Europe. During that time, everyone had been on edge, tense and hostile. But now, with the upcoming official sports event, the atmosphere was charged with healthy competitive spirit. Despite not being on friendly terms with South America, it was clear that there was a mutual respect and camaraderie.
"Hey, focus on the materials instead of making a scene," the instructor’s voice suddenly cut through the murmuring.

The team quickly fell silent, refocusing on the video materials ahead. Jeong Tae-ui, now at ease, glanced at the screen. It was nothing like Irei, with his chaotic actions. Instead, it was just ordinary soldiers, normal people gearing up for battle. Watching the training videos, Jeong Tae-ui felt a warmth in his chest.
Tonight, the draw would determine who would stay and who would leave. After the training with South America, the branch members would come in, and things would get more intense. Jeong Tae-ui didn’t need to worry about the draw. He was directly under the instructor’s supervision. Wherever the instructor went, Jeong Tae-ui would follow. If his instructor left, Jeong Tae-ui would go with him, and if he stayed, so would Jeong Tae-ui. They had been through many assignments together, so it was only natural.
During this training, Irei would stay here. So, naturally, Jeong Tae-ui would remain as well. As he sat next to the screen, Jeong Tae-ui glanced at his instructor, who was watching the screen with a stern expression.

"You stay here. Help out with Mackin," his instructor had said earlier.
Jeong Tae-ui recalled those words. Mackin—like everyone else—was someone he hadn’t really spoken to. He didn’t know what kind of person he was. They were simply instructor and subordinate. His instructor had said that if Mackin asked for help, he should provide it. But would Mackin even need help from him? Jeong Tae-ui couldn’t imagine a situation where Mackin would seek his assistance. It was more likely that someone would ask for help who didn’t speak much, someone who didn’t interact much. And since he was set to leave soon, it might be easier to manage someone who was about to leave. Jeong Tae-ui hoped for an easy task that wouldn’t require too much effort.
"By the way..." Jeong Tae-ui turned his head slightly at the voice beside him.
Carlos, propping his chin with one hand, leaned slightly toward him and murmured almost to himself, "I heard Shinru is thinking about quitting the UNHRDO... Did they have a fight?"

Jeong Tae-ui, who had been deep in thought, froze at the mention of Shinru’s name. He had never heard this before. He slowly turned his head to stare at Carlos.
Carlos, noticing Jeong Tae-ui’s surprise, raised his eyebrows slightly and shrugged. "I’m not sure. I overheard it while I was at the office. I could’ve misheard, though."
Carlos seemed to second-guess himself, but Jeong Tae-ui was still stunned. He had never heard anything about Shinru possibly quitting. It wasn’t something Shinru had mentioned, and it certainly wasn’t something Jeong Tae-ui had considered. But now that he was thinking about it, he realized he hadn’t even told Shinru that he was planning to leave the UNHRDO after the South American training ended. It was supposed to be obvious, but he had forgotten to tell him.

Jeong Tae-ui rubbed his head in frustration.
He had made it clear to everyone that he would only stay here for a short time, but at least he should have told Shinru about it. That was only fair, considering the relationship they shared. He would need to talk to Shinru about it, and also ask about the rumors of him quitting. There seemed to be a pile of unresolved issues now.
"By the way, it seems like Rudolf is almost confirmed for the next chief," Irei suddenly said as Jeong Tae-ui was drinking some water.

Jeong Tae-ui, who had been deep in thought, glanced at Irei.
"Isn’t it still too early for that? After the South American training and the evaluations, doesn’t it get decided then?"
Jeong Tae-ui tilted his head, not sure if he was hearing correctly. He didn’t really care who became the next chief as long as it wasn’t someone completely unfit. If Rudolf or Mao Liin became the chief, it wouldn’t matter to him. But, since his instructor was close to Rudolf, he had a slight preference for him. If Rudolf became the next chief, Jeong Tae-ui wouldn’t be bound to stay in the branch anymore. That was a good thing. The day he could leave was drawing closer.

Irei, casually skimming through Jeong Tae-ui’s bookshelf, said, "Officially, yes. But after the mid-term evaluations, Rudolf’s position is more secure. Unless something drastic happens during this training, the results are unlikely to change."
"Really?" Jeong Tae-ui muttered under his breath, still processing the information. It seemed like a good thing for his instructor. But suddenly, he thought about Irei again—wasn’t Irei working under Mao Liin? If Rudolf became the chief, Irei’s path to advancement would be harder.
Jeong Tae-ui hesitated before casually asking, "If that happens, it might not be so good for you. It could hinder your rise, don’t you think?"

"Hm?" Irei glanced at him, seemingly not fully understanding at first, before pausing and then laughing lightly.
"Yeah, I guess. It’s going to be hard to move up if I’m stuck here under the instructors. If you don’t have the right connections, it’s easy to waste years," Irei said nonchalantly.
Jeong Tae-ui raised an eyebrow, slightly bemused. It seemed like Irei wasn’t too concerned about it. He didn’t need a promotion, it seemed. After all, someone like him, born with a diamond spoon, probably didn’t care much about such things. Thinking about it, he had already secured a good position in his family’s company.

"Well, I guess promotions aren’t that important. Especially since talent and success don’t always go hand in hand," Jeong Tae-ui muttered to himself.
 
Jeong Tae-ui grumbled, lifting the book and blocking his displeased face from Irei’s sight.

"That’s true. No matter how capable someone is, if the right conditions aren’t given, it’s hard to succeed. And those conditions aren’t something you can just earn through your own efforts."
Irei’s voice, now stepping closer from the bookshelf, reached Jeong Tae-ui’s ears. He clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"If ability and social status were proportional, the world would look completely different. You might even have become the sibling of a dictator who rules the world."

"Sibling of a dictator… my brother? That’s not about ability or success, that’s about personality. I don’t think that would ever happen, not in a million years."
Jeong Tae-ui muttered to himself, thinking that, if it were up to his ability alone, he could probably be at the top of the world. But considering his personality, he would have run away from such a position even if it was handed to him. He recalled his brother, who would rather flee from such power than claim it for himself.
Meanwhile, Irei had stepped closer, snatching the book from Jeong Tae-ui’s hands and lifting it up, forcing their eyes to meet. Jeong Tae-ui instinctively furrowed his brow. Irei’s eyes narrowed slightly.

"Wow. You scrunch your face like that the moment our eyes meet? That’s a bit too much. Being so obvious—what’s the point?"
"Try switching places and think about it," Jeong Tae-ui muttered, grumbling.
It had barely been long since that day he almost died, only to barely survive. The days when he couldn’t move from the bed, struggling to drag his legs to the bathroom or rummaging through the fridge, only to return exhausted to the bed—those memories were still fresh. When he thought about it, a wave of anger still flared up in his chest. At times, he would be overwhelmed by the thought, "I really need to kill him to feel better." It would come and go in an instant. If Jeong Tae-ui were in his own shoes at that time, who wouldn’t furrow their brow in frustration?

But, at the same time, he had to admit, if Irei were in his place—though he didn’t dare imagine it—his opponent would have disappeared without a trace, leaving no bones behind. It was natural to feel furious about it. After all, Irei hadn’t changed at all since that incident. He showed no sign of regret or even a hint of embarrassment. And certainly, he wasn’t being any more friendly either. He would casually brush past, mumbling a quick apology if they accidentally bumped into each other, but it was more like a formality than anything sincere.
Jeong Tae-ui paused for a moment, genuinely reflecting. Maybe, without realizing it, his own personality was more messed up than he had ever thought. After all, people often don’t fully understand their own nature. He started to think that perhaps his uncle had brought him here to work on his character development.
Was I that much of a wreck...

Now, after everything, he thought that if he left here, he could probably love someone, even someone like Kim So-wi, with all his heart. He hadn’t realized it before, but now the thought felt almost comforting.
"……Quiet, huh."
Just as Jeong Tae-ui was reflecting on his past, contemplating whether he should consider religion to atone for his past, Irei’s sudden muttering interrupted his thoughts. Jeong Tae-ui paused for a moment, then redirected his attention to the room.

It wasn’t completely silent. The sixth floor was far more populated than the first, where the instructors stayed. It was always busier here compared to his uncle’s or Irei’s rooms.
However, it was noticeably quieter today. People had started leaving. After the draw the night before, half of the members had left by the next morning. They were probably already heading toward Canberra to join the Australian branch by now.
"Yeah, with half the people gone, it’s quieter," Jeong Tae-ui answered, nodding in agreement.

It was clear the loudmouths, like Alta, had already left for Australia. Poor Alta, who had been stewing over the bamboo pillow incident, was now far from here.
"Speaking of which," Irei suddenly brought up something, his attention focused on the desk calendar.
"Wasn’t it your birthday a few days ago?"

"Ah? Oh..."
Jeong Tae-ui had completely forgotten. It wasn’t until Irei mentioned it that he realized his birthday had just passed. Thinking back, he had spent that entire day lying in bed. It was the day after the incident with that damn bastard.
He glanced at the calendar and, as he confirmed the date, an uncomfortable feeling rose within him. His grudge flared up again, but he couldn’t keep dragging the same issue up, so he just muttered a quiet groan and kept his mouth shut.

"Well, did you get any messages?" Irei asked, as if unaware of the lingering tension in Jeong Tae-ui’s mind.
Jeong Tae-ui looked at him, confused. "Messages? Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me. I did get one. The suit should be ready by next week. The shop manager even offered to deliver it personally, but I turned him down. I said I’d go pick it up later. After all, no outsiders are allowed here."
He added, "It would be too much for me to accept a personal delivery."

Irei, looking confused, furrowed his brows slightly. Then, as if he understood, he muttered an "Ah," but his expression didn’t relax.
"No, I’m not talking about the suit," Irei said, sighing as he rubbed his furrowed brow. "I meant the call. From Jeong Jae-i. Don’t people usually contact each other around birthdays?"
"Jae-i hyung? No, I haven’t heard from him," Jeong Tae-ui replied, shrugging as he shook his head.

Now that he thought about it, Jae-i hadn’t contacted him. It wasn’t like they’d promised to always message on their birthdays, but it was something they always did. Even when they were living together, or when they were apart due to work or school, they always reached out around their birthdays. But this year, no message came.
"Maybe he just forgot this year..." Jeong Tae-ui muttered, staring up at the ceiling. He would have liked to contact him first, but there was no way to know where he was. So, he just waited for Jae-i’s call, even though it felt frustrating.
As he was lost in thought about his twin, Jeong Tae-ui suddenly felt Irei’s gaze on him. He turned slightly and saw Irei staring at him with a slightly pensive expression.

"..."
Ah, Jeong Tae-ui thought. He hadn’t really thought about it before, but now it clicked. Irei was a bit disappointed. Probably about not hearing from Jeong Jae-i. Was it just curiosity or something more? Whatever it was, it seemed like Irei had been waiting for news from Jae-i.
Jeong Tae-ui continued to stare at him, and after a moment, Irei raised an eyebrow, as if realizing Jeong Tae-ui understood. He seemed a little sheepish, and he clicked his tongue.

Slightly uncomfortable, Irei rubbed his chin before answering in a short, unenthusiastic tone.
 
"To be exact, someone I know."
"Aha."
Jung Tae-ui nodded. Indeed, it seemed that there were people everywhere looking for Jung Jae-ui. If even this man, who usually didn't care about other people's business, was interested in Jung Jae-ui's whereabouts, then it goes without saying that other people were there. Most likely, all lines that Jung Tae-ui was contacting, whether it was by phone or computer, were being checked.
Jung Tae-ui sighed.

What is this? I kept saying that you were hanging around the neighborhood for the past few days, so that's what happened. I thought you were catching my eye more often than I thought.
Since the day when Illei completely recovered and Jung Tae-ui was bedridden, Illei would look into Jung Tae-ui's room two or three times a day. When he was lying down, groaning, he would poke his head in as if to check his physical condition and then go back, and even when he was able to move a little and resume his duties as a teacher, he would stay in Jeong Tae-ui’s room every night for no reason and talk nonsense before leaving.

So, I thought to myself, “Maybe he’s really sorry because he doesn’t show it on the outside,” and I was trying to console him.
But this was the conclusion.

Jeong Tae-ui sighed. I didn’t want to bother asking him, and I didn’t have high expectations for his character anyway. There was no need to get angry again. It would be a lie to say that my mood didn’t subside a little.

“You didn’t contact me… You must have checked everything anyway?”

Jeong Tae-ui sighed and pointed to the phone with his chin. Illei looked at Jeong Tae-ui for a moment, then gave up on beating around the bush and smiled as usual. "Since they are such unique twins, I wonder if there is some unscientific way to contact them."

"Well, if there is such a thing, I would like to learn it too. It would be very useful for things like taking tests or going for interviews."

He muttered, thinking that if he could communicate with Jeong Jae-ui in an unscientific way, he would have nothing to fear in this world.

Jeong Tae-ui jumped up from the bed. He was desperate for beer. He thought he should go to ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) his uncle's room and steal a few cans. If he searched carefully, he might find some soju. He didn't really like soju, but sometimes when he felt uneasy, it was okay.

"Yeah, if I could contact you, what would I say? Ask me to make you a weapon? I heard he didn't make any after he left UNHRDO."

His uncle had left for Australia, so the room would naturally be locked, but Jeong Tae-ui had a key in his drawer that he had received directly from his uncle. Hanging the key ring on his hand, he shook it once and looked back at Illei. Then he gave him good advice.
“Jae-yi hyung, if you say you won’t do it once, you won’t do it. He’s not very talkative and has a gentle personality, so there are people who take him lightly and try to persuade him against his will, but there have been no successful cases. He’s not someone who can be threatened.”
Whether it would be possible to properly threaten that lucky person, Jeong Tae-yi added, and showed signs of leaving the room. However, Illei, who should have shown signs of leaving the room with him, still sat in his chair without moving, and stared at Jeong Tae-yi.

“……. I’m going to go to my uncle’s room for a bit. Are you going to stay here?”
“……. No. Get up with me.”

When Jeong Tae-yi spoke, Illei got up readily and followed him. Yes, this guy’s room was right next to my uncle’s, Jeong Tae-yi thought as he headed to the elevator. While walking with Illei half a step behind, he occasionally ran into colleagues passing by. As soon as he saw Illei, his colleagues turned their fierce faces and he sighed, even though it was now something he was used to.

After getting on the elevator and the doors closed, Jeong Taeui finally managed to escape those fierce gazes and muttered to himself.

"But if you think about it, if there was a monster in the enemy camp, we should fear and hate him, but if there was one on our side, shouldn't we gladly welcome him? It would increase our power."
"It would depend on the monster's record. But who is that monster?"

Illei asked softly next to Jeong Taeui. Jeong Taeui closed his mouth, saying, "Well... ... ". Well, that monster who swung a weapon at his colleagues countless times - even his bare hands were weapons - wouldn't look so good on our side. Moreover, when I recall, when this guy was in the European branch, the European branch members did not trust him, follow him, or respect him. Suddenly, a feeling of regret crossed my mind. It was a regret that I could not tell anyone.

Life is a story of countless people intertwined like warp and weft, but this man seemed to be alone and isolated in the midst of them all. He, who was alone, did not know what regret was. He did not know that emptiness. He was a man who did not know such things from the beginning. His indifferent heart, who laughed at such sentiments and lived on, could have been a blessing for him. If he had not known until now, it would be for his own good to hope that he would not know in the future. That was bitter and regrettable. He would laugh if I told him.

"If you were suddenly stabbed in a dirty alley and fell down without anyone to save you and you died, I would be the only one who would be sad."

Just before the elevator stopped at the basement level, Jeong Tae-ui muttered. At that blunt voice that he couldn't tell whether it was comfort or mockery, Illei made a very strange face. He looked at Jeong Tae-ui as if he was angry and laughed. Surprisingly, he didn't get angry. Instead, he just laughed out loud as if he had heard something funny and said, "Thank you for that." Seeing him say this so calmly, I wondered if my personality had become more generous or rough after coming to this neighborhood and getting bumped into here and there, or if it was a change in a good direction. Jeong Tae-ui waited for the elevator door to open.
Jeong Tae-ui paused as the door opened and he started walking. It was because someone was standing in front of the elevator. It might have been different on the 6th basement floor where there were a lot of people, but this rarely happened on the 1st basement floor where there weren't many people.

The person standing in front of him, Rudolf Gentil, also raised his eyebrows for a moment, as if he had been surprised to meet Jeong Tae-ui like that, but he smiled calmly after checking the faces of Jeong Tae-ui and Illei. "You're going to have a hard time starting tonight, both of you."
Ilay also gave him a polite greeting and a polite response.

"What's the point? It's only natural to make sure that everything ends without a hitch."

Jeong Tae-ui, who couldn't talk to them because of his position as a teacher - and had no intention of talking to them - just silently listened to their few routine conversations from the side. Then he was very surprised. That man could say such polite and typical phrases. Maybe he'd act normal at work or somewhere else.

After a short conversation with Ilay, Rudolph turned his gaze to Jeong Tae-ui. His eyes narrowed slightly.
"Have you gotten used to life here? You must miss your family since you don't get to see them often."
"Ah... -, well, we weren't that comfortable. Thank you for worrying about us."

Jeong Tae-ui answered while thinking of his only remaining family. There are many people who secretly ask about my brother here and there. Rudolph laughed, “Is that so?” and finished his sentences appropriately before walking away. They politely saw him off and remained silent for a while after Rudolph disappeared into the elevator.

“What kind of event week is it? I don’t know why so many people are looking for my brother these days.”

When Jeong Tae-ui muttered as if grumbling, Illei laughed.

“It’s not these days, it’s always been like that. You just didn’t know. And since his whereabouts are unknown these days, it’s even more so.”
“Hmm… If there’s any news about my brother, my uncle will probably find out and report it.”

Jeong Tae-ui tapped the elevator door with the tip of his fingernail and turned around. His uncle’s superior, Jang Til, was still an unknown person. Jeong Tae-ui didn’t need to know, but he didn’t really feel like it. While muttering about how many cans of beer he would take out, he headed to his uncle’s room, and Illei, who was walking next to Jeong Tae-ui and smiling subtly, muttered softly, barely audible.

“Instructor Jeong Chang-in doesn’t like Jang Til that much.”

Jeong Tae-ui slowed down his pace a little. He glanced at Illei, but he wasn’t looking at him. Illei, who was walking leisurely looking ahead, made eye contact with him and smiled faintly, waving his hand.

“Just kidding.”
“…….”

Jeong Tae-ui shrugged his shoulders, meaning that it didn’t matter. This kind of story never ends well when you think deeply about the hidden meaning. It was the same at school and in the military.
Well, how many subordinates like their superiors? Jeong Tae-ui decided to take it easy.

Soon, they arrived in front of his uncle’s room. Illei’s room was a little further into the hallway from here. As he was opening his uncle’s room with a key, Jeong Tae-ui suddenly realized that Illei had stopped next to him and turned around.

“……. Why?”

He had opened the locked door with a key, but he didn’t want to let someone else into a place that wasn’t his room, so Jeong Tae-ui grabbed the doorknob and asked. It could mean that he had more work to do, and that he couldn’t let them into this room.

Illei suddenly smiled and reached out his arm to touch the wall a little way from Jeong Tae-ui’s face. Jeong Tae-ui frowned slightly, half-trapped between the wall and Illei. What was he trying to do?
“It seems like you’re feeling better now.”

Illei whispered, trailing off his words subtly. Jeong Tae-ui opened his eyes wide and looked at him.

“I guess you don’t like it because you seem to be able to walk around normally and finish work without a hitch.” Illei laughed as he jingled his keys and spoke with great displeasure.
"I'm going to be busy with the South Americans for a while starting tonight, so I'm thinking of lightly loosening up. And if we keep in touch too little, there's no chance of getting used to each other."
"I have no intention of getting used to it."

Jeong Tae-ui said bluntly. It seemed like he would develop a trauma that he had never experienced even though he had lived a rough and harsh life. No wonder he was terrified when he saw a sausage the size of his forearm in his dream last night. Jeong Tae-ui's face hardened as he thought about a few days ago when he saw bloody stool in the bathroom and became lost in thought.
He did. I can’t bear to see that again, if it’s just a land grab… …, Jung Tae-yi thought, then shook his head in surprise and glared at Illei, who was smiling awkwardly, with wary eyes.

“Jung Tae-yi. I don’t know if you know, but…ㅡ, you don’t look very tasty and you don’t look particularly attractive, so I never thought you’d be a real master.”

Jung Tae-yi frowned and tilted his head. For a moment, he had to rack his brain to understand what he had heard.

“What…….”

“You were so squelching, I thought you were going to get eaten. Even though you were crying like you were going to die, you were still like that, and I wonder what kind of thing you’d be if you got used to it, just thinking about it makes me shiver…ㅡOh my.”

Illei, who had been whispering in Jung Tae-yi’s ear, smiled and moved his body back slightly. Jung Tae -ui, who was wielding his temple with his hand holding his hand, stared at him with ridiculous eyes. This guy seemed to change the industry from crazy to pervert. But the lightly grabbed the wrist of Jung Tae's wrist, he caught up with him. In front of Jeong Tae's back behind the door, the thick rising of the rising Eray reached the touch.

"This baby, I knew, but it's really bad ... .... Now that's what you are in front of the person you pressed, this dog?!"
"It's a good idea to listen. There's no one who doesn't have a man in a man, so when you're teasing your body, you'll advise you to do it well. I decided to play lightly overnight, but it would be difficult if a stalker was attached, huh?"

Laughing and whispering, he finished the horse and kissed Jung -tae. It may be right to try to get in the mouth rather than kiss. He sucked hard all the way to the base of his tongue, licked his teeth, gums, and lips thoroughly, and then finally pulled away. He slowly turned his waists, which were pressed tightly together, once before taking a half-step back.
Illei licked her lips as she watched Jeong Tae-ui rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand with an obviously unpleasant expression, and then lightly grabbed her groin once as if she was regretting it.

"I told you not to think about it so seriously. It's a simple thing to relieve each other's desires by borrowing the hands of someone you know. How many times have you and I done it so far?"