Passion (BL Novel)

"I'm sorry, okay?"
The voice saying that was laced with a hint of laughter. Damn bastard, I swear I’ll tear you apart with my own hands if I don’t get a chance to make you pay for this.

Jeong Tae-ui muttered to himself with a feeling like his heart was about to bleed. At that moment, a large hand appeared over his head from beneath the blanket. Was he pretending to stroke his head? For a moment, the hand lingered above, but then it slowly dropped.
"This isn’t something to get so worked up over. I just did what I normally do, but more intensely. Besides, once you get used to it, you’ll actually enjoy it more, too."
"I don’t want to get used to it, you bastard!"

"That’s not how it works."
The moment he heard that calm voice, everything before him went white. In a burst of rage, Jeong Tae-ui lost his composure and kicked Irei with the blanket. He hadn’t expected a counterattack so suddenly, and Irei fell to the ground with a loud thud.
"You damn bastard, what do you mean it’s not how it works! You better never lay a finger on me again, up or down, if you do, I swear I’ll bite down and crush that damn thing!"

Losing all sense of reason, Jeong Tae-ui jumped up and screamed while shaking his clenched fist in Irei’s direction, who lay stunned on the floor, staring at him. With a huff, Jeong Tae-ui turned his back and lay down on the bed again.
"……"
"……"

A little while later, Jeong Tae-ui, still suffering from the aftereffects of the previous night’s harsh ordeal, rubbed his chilled arm and quietly got up. He picked up the blanket that was sprawled on the floor with Irei and pulled it back up.
After wrapping himself in the blanket and lying back down, laughter erupted from behind him. With his throat hoarse, Jeong Tae-ui screamed in frustration.
"Get the hell out, you bastard!"

It was good to say “get the hell out” with such force, but this wasn’t even Jeong Tae-ui’s room.
However, without time to consider that, Jeong Tae-ui yelled and immediately closed his eyes, falling into a deep sleep. After venting his frustrations in his mind, he finally felt his brain clear, and he slept soundly until late in the afternoon without waking up once, not even dreaming. When Jeong Tae-ui finally woke up, it was already deep into the evening.
He opened his eyes and, despite having been deeply asleep just a moment ago, found himself wide awake, with any lingering drowsiness completely gone. He blinked a couple of times before realizing he had done nothing the whole day. He hadn’t followed any of the regular routine, skipping it all. What to do now, he briefly worried, but quickly shook it off, thinking it didn’t really matter. What could be worse than the current situation? Whether the instructors would scold him for being lazy or the colleagues would grumble about him taking an unscheduled break, Jeong Tae-ui would happily trade places with them just to stay warm and cozy in bed like this, away from the troubles of the day.

If they were going to throw him out for not being diligent, then so be it. With that resigned thought, he snuggled deeper into the blanket.
A faint beeping sound suddenly pierced the air, followed by the low sound of a wall clock.
Eight times—it was already eight o’clock.

His stomach wasn’t really hungry, and his appetite was gone. The ache from the body pain still hadn’t subsided, and his body felt just as sore, hot with fever. A weak breath escaped from his lips.
Damn it. What the hell is this? It's tough enough being sick in a foreign place, but I can’t even say why I’m sick. The body ache would eventually pass, but the bitter feeling would stay with him, accumulating inside.
Thinking of the source of that bitterness, his anger rose again, but just a few seconds later, the anger faded with a weary sigh. He didn’t have the strength to keep being angry—it was too much effort.
Suddenly, his uncle's words popped into his mind.

“You have a good sense and good judgment, but there’s a part of you that lacks action. Or maybe your judgment is a bit off. Especially when it comes to problems involving people. When someone nudges you, you try to dodge, but in the end, you get tired and just sit down, saying ‘do as you like.’”
Ah. So that's what he meant.
Jeong Tae-ui blinked a few times before closing his eyes again. He wasn’t sleepy, but his body felt drained. He was aching all over, and he was cold.

Damn it. Am I an idiot? I let myself suffer, and now I can’t even hold onto my grudge for more than a day. And what happened wasn’t just being beaten or mocked, it was worse than that.
Even so, Jeong Tae-ui was already tired of holding onto the grudge. It took far more energy to hate someone than to like them, and Jeong Tae-ui simply didn’t have the energy for that. Moreover, though he thought that Irei deserved to be stone-cold dead, he didn’t actually hate Irei that much. If someone tied him up and handed Jeong Tae-ui a stone, he might indeed beat him up thoroughly, but if Irei was near death, he would probably drag him back and save him.
"No matter what, how can I just let someone die like that?"

Jeong Tae-ui had been lost in thought, and after imagining the situation, he shook his head. Of course, the chance of something like that actually happening was slim to none, but in his mind, he felt sorry for Irei.
"……"
Suddenly, Jeong Tae-ui had a realization about his life and the root of his issues. Thinking that someone like Irei was pitiful for even a second—his mind was clearly messed up. He sighed deeply, but then he heard footsteps approaching outside his room. He held his breath and hunched his shoulders, but the footsteps stopped right in front of the door.

The door opened quietly, and a calm voice entered the room.
“What’s this, still sleeping?”
It was Irei. Speaking in a tone that wouldn’t disturb someone sleeping, he slowly approached. Jeong Tae-ui wondered if he should pretend to be asleep, but quickly gave up on the idea. He wasn’t someone who wouldn’t notice that.

“Bored? Want me to bring you a book? By the way, the book that my brother asked to be delivered to Instructor Jeong has arrived. I thought you’d like it.”
With no hesitation, Jeong Tae-ui let out a sigh and poked his head out of the blanket. When he glared at Irei, who was scanning the bookshelves while muttering “Where did I put it…,” Irei glanced back.
“What? Not interested? If you don’t like books, you can watch a movie.”

He tapped the screen that was mounted next to the bookshelves. Jeong Tae-ui muttered a curt “I don’t need it” and lay back down. Irei, after briefly looking down at Jeong Tae-ui, chuckled lightly and then lay down in the wide space beside him on the bed. It seemed that Jeong Tae-ui’s angry glare didn’t faze him at all.
“I went out today after a long time, and there was just so much work waiting for me. Even someone who just got up from being sick had to deal with work, and I got buried in it while my head was still fuzzy and I was feeling weak. It was pretty exhausting.”
Irei muttered this as if he hadn’t asked anyone to listen. After that, he closed his eyes, breathing evenly, as if he had fallen asleep.

Jeong Tae-ui silently watched him. It was strange—though he seemed like the type to throw away tasks he didn’t want to do, once he was given a task, he carried it out properly. He didn’t seem like the responsible type, but it was unexpected.
As Jeong Tae-ui stared at Irei, a sense of something resembling a grudge slowly began to stir inside him. The neat face right in front of him, eyes closed, was the same one he had wanted to kill the night before. He was bound to be really annoying for a while.
Suddenly, his eyes landed on the small table beside the bed. The tray Irei had brought in earlier was still there. A butter knife and fork were glinting in the light. Just one of those could easily kill someone while they slept. (Of course, it would make a difference who the person was.)

…Since the weapon was right there, and the grudge was creeping back, maybe he could just stab him in the neck.
Thinking seriously, Jeong Tae-ui looked from the fork to Irei’s neck, but he sighed in frustration. Forget it. It wouldn’t work anyway, and it was too much effort for something pointless. He might as well think that he just got unlucky. With a grunt, he scratched his head and flopped back onto the pillow.
For a moment, he thought he saw a faint smile on Irei's face, but he couldn’t be sure.

He still felt sick. Especially his lower back—it had been almost a day, but it still throbbed, and his senses felt distant. Even the lightest touch on his skin hurt. He had spent the entire day in bed, and now he wondered if he could even stand up and walk. Damn it. The big guys of the world should all get reduced in size for world peace. That way, women wouldn’t have to suffer in bed, and men wouldn’t feel insecure comparing themselves.
As he thought about that, Jeong Tae-ui opened his eyes again, angry. Damn, what the hell was he thinking? Reducing the size of men for world peace? He shook his head in disbelief and looked at Irei again.
 

Jeong Tae-ui continued to stare at Irei, who was lying so calmly beside him. It was almost as if everything that had happened the previous night had never occurred. Despite the anger that still simmered within him, his mind was starting to dull from exhaustion. He had been through a lot over the past few days, and now, lying in bed, he found it difficult to muster the energy to keep feeling angry.
His thoughts drifted back to his uncle’s words: "You have good instincts and judgment, but your actions sometimes fall short. Especially when it comes to dealing with people. When someone pushes your buttons, you try to avoid it at first, but in the end, you just give in."
Jeong Tae-ui had often reflected on this comment, and as much as he hated to admit it, there was truth in his uncle's words. His tendency to just let things slide, to let people push him around, was something he had always struggled with. But now, lying in bed, it was hard to care about it.

The world outside this room seemed so distant and unimportant.
A few moments passed before the sound of footsteps outside the door caught his attention. They were light, hesitant, as though someone was trying to decide whether to come in.
The door creaked open slowly, and a voice spoke softly. "Rick. I’m coming in."

It was his uncle. He stepped inside without waiting for an answer, his gaze falling on Jeong Tae-ui, who was still lying in bed. The two of them locked eyes for a brief moment, neither saying a word, simply observing each other.
Jeong Tae-ui broke the silence first. "What is it? Still not done with your work?"
His uncle shrugged casually, as if nothing ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) had happened. "I got a message from Kyle earlier. I need to get a list from you."

Jeong Tae-ui, already annoyed by the situation, just sighed and sat up in bed. "Alright, let’s get this over with."
As he made his way to the edge of the bed, the pain in his body flared up again. The soreness in his back seemed to make every movement feel like an effort. He clenched his teeth and stood up, but as soon as his feet hit the floor, the dull ache in his muscles intensified.
He tried to ignore the pain as best as he could, focusing instead on the conversation with his uncle. His uncle noticed the stiffness in Jeong Tae-ui's movements and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You’ve been lying around all day, and now you’re getting up?"
Jeong Tae-ui just waved him off. "I’m fine. I’ve got to move sometime."
As he limped toward the door, his uncle glanced over at Irei, still lying in bed, eyes closed.

"Why’s he pretending to sleep?" His uncle muttered under his breath, though Irei didn’t respond.
Jeong Tae-ui could see that his uncle was watching him with a critical eye. The feeling of being scrutinized, even after everything that had happened, made him uncomfortable.
"What’s going on between you two anyway?" his uncle asked casually, shifting the topic.

Jeong Tae-ui hesitated before responding. He didn’t want to talk about Irei, not after everything that had happened.
"It’s nothing. Just… stuff."
His uncle nodded, clearly not buying the explanation, but didn’t press the issue further. Instead, he reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer, tossing it to Jeong Tae-ui.

"Here. You look like you need it. Your face is half dead, and your lips are cracked. Drink this. It’ll help."
Jeong Tae-ui took the beer with a nod. It wasn’t what he wanted, but the moment he saw it, his thirst flared up. He twisted the cap off and took a long sip, the coldness of the beer settling in his throat. It felt refreshing, but it didn’t ease the feeling in his chest.
Irei, still lying on the bed, mumbled, "You really shouldn’t give alcohol to someone who’s sick."

Jeong Tae-ui smirked, "It’s just beer. It’s not like I’m drinking rum."
His uncle shot Irei an incredulous look. "You’re giving advice now? You, who can’t even keep your mouth shut?"
Irei just turned over in bed, ignoring the comment.

Jeong Tae-ui couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the situation. His uncle, still standing with his arms crossed, was obviously not pleased. But he said nothing more, walking over to the couch and sitting down. He was clearly trying to make light of the situation, but Jeong Tae-ui could see the concern in his eyes.
"After all, you’ve been through a lot," his uncle said, almost to himself. "I guess it makes sense that you’d be feeling a bit out of sorts. But you’re looking after your little cousin now, huh? Making sure he’s alright?"
Jeong Tae-ui paused, suddenly irritated. "Stop calling me that. I’m not some caretaker."

"I didn’t say you were," his uncle replied, not even looking at him. "But if you’re not feeling well, maybe you should just rest for a while. Take it easy."
Jeong Tae-ui didn’t respond. Instead, he reached for the list his uncle had asked for and handed it to him.
 

Jeong Tae-ui handed the list to his uncle, his movements slow and deliberate as he tried to hide the discomfort coursing through his body. His uncle, having received the list, glanced at it and then at Jeong Tae-ui, a silent evaluation lingering in his gaze.
"Don't overdo it," his uncle muttered, still not meeting his eyes. "You’re not exactly in top form. You need to rest."
Jeong Tae-ui barely registered the words, too absorbed in his thoughts. The aching in his muscles and the throbbing in his back seemed to intensify the moment he stood up. It wasn’t just physical pain; it was the emotional weight, too. Everything felt heavier than it should.

"I’m fine," he muttered, though even he wasn’t convinced by his own words. "I’ll be alright."
His uncle, not pressing the issue further, sighed and sat down in one of the chairs by the window. He crossed his arms, a deep thought in his expression. Jeong Tae-ui stood by the door for a moment, watching him, before heading toward the hallway. His uncle didn’t stop him, but the heavy silence between them was a reminder of the tension that still hung in the air.
Jeong Tae-ui’s body protested with every step, but he pushed through. The hallway outside felt colder, and the sounds of the other rooms were muffled, as though the whole house was aware of his state and didn’t want to disturb him. But the moment he stepped into the corridor, he felt the familiar weight of responsibility settle back onto his shoulders.

The world outside his room and his bed seemed to force its way into his consciousness. Even with his body screaming for rest, Jeong Tae-ui knew he couldn’t just shut it all out. The stress of the situation, the unresolved anger from the night before, the way Irei's actions still haunted his thoughts—it all pressed down on him like a physical burden.
As he walked down the corridor, he thought about his recent conversations with Irei. The strange, conflicting emotions stirred up by his presence—the irritation, the anger, and yet something else, something he couldn’t quite place. Jeong Tae-ui didn’t want to dwell on it. He’d had enough of feeling torn between conflicting emotions.
When he reached the living room, he stopped and leaned against the doorframe, watching his uncle who had already settled back into his quiet, distant demeanor. His uncle wasn’t looking at him, but there was an undeniable tension in the air. The silence between them felt thick, as though neither knew how to bridge the gap that had formed over the last few days.

Jeong Tae-ui cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "I’ll take care of it, okay?" His voice was rough, still not fully recovered from the shouting earlier.
His uncle glanced up, meeting his eyes briefly before nodding. "Just don’t push yourself too hard."
Jeong Tae-ui nodded in response, though the words felt empty. Pushing himself was all he knew how to do. But right now, in this moment, even that felt like too much.

As he turned back toward his room, his mind briefly flicked to Irei again. What was it about him? What was this strange tension? His thoughts raced, but he shut them down as quickly as they had come. The last thing he needed right now was to get caught up in another emotional rollercoaster.
Irei had done what he did, and now it was over. Jeong Tae-ui wasn’t about to let himself be dragged back into the same mess.
Jeong Tae-ui finally made it back to his bed, collapsing onto the mattress with a sigh. The day had been long, and even though he had slept for most of it, he still felt utterly exhausted. The exhaustion wasn’t just from the physical pain, though. It was the mental toll, the weight of everything that had been left unresolved, that really drained him.

Lying back, he tried to relax, closing his eyes. For a moment, there was peace. But then, just as quickly, the reality of everything around him settled back in.
The door to his room creaked open again.
"Still awake?"

Jeong Tae-ui opened his eyes and saw Irei standing there, framed in the doorway. His face was unreadable, but there was something about his presence that caused Jeong Tae-ui’s tension to rise.
"Irei," Jeong Tae-ui said, his voice a little rougher than he intended. "What do you want?"
Irei stepped into the room slowly, his expression still calm. "I just wanted to see how you’re doing," he said quietly, but there was a hint of something else in his voice.

Jeong Tae-ui sat up a little, trying to hide the irritation bubbling beneath the surface. "I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me."
There was a brief silence, but then Irei’s gaze softened just a little. "I’m not worrying about you," he said, almost too casually. "I just... wanted to make sure you were alright."
Jeong Tae-ui didn’t know what to make of that. Irei’s words, his presence, were confusing. After everything that had happened, it was hard to believe that Irei was sincere. But there was something in his tone that made Jeong Tae-ui hesitate. It was brief, but it was enough to make him second-guess himself.

Without saying anything more, Irei turned and walked toward the bed, sitting down next to Jeong Tae-ui. For a moment, neither of them spoke. The silence was heavy, but this time, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as before.
Jeong Tae-ui looked over at Irei, still unsure of what to say. He wanted to snap at him, to push him away, but a part of him—the part that had been overwhelmed by the events of the past few days—just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
"Just..." Jeong Tae-ui started, his voice barely above a whisper. "Don’t do that again."

Irei looked at him, then nodded slowly. "I won’t," he said quietly, his expression serious.
It was a small concession, but for Jeong Tae-ui, it was enough for now.