I’m Planning to be Killed by the Heroine

The light catches my eye for no reason.
Rather than annoyance or jealousy, it might have been a feeling of admiration.
I blinked a few times.
I saw the girl.
Golden short hair scattering faint light, illuminating the dark space.
Clear and snow-white eyes that seemed to allow not a speck of impurity.
The magical power rippling around her, along with her flushed face, seemed to represent her state of mind.
“Are these your colleagues?”
“Get away from them right now.”
The girl’s dark uniform fluttered and a brilliant light sword was pointed. The space shook and a straight line was drawn in the air.
I twisted my body and raised my knife. The blade drew a curve and swallowed the sword strike. The line was cut and distorted. The remnants swept through and rushed in.
I twisted a lock of my hair while watching the girl who staggered with a small groan.
The nauseating mark of the Association.
Awakened ones and hunters slumped against the wall.
Did the Association form a team and send them? Rankers from the game era, hmm, come to think of it, I didn’t know anyone except for a few at the very top because I wasn’t interested.
I feel like I’ve seen that girl somewhere before.
With this many people, they probably haven’t judged me as dangerous yet.
I spoke again to the golden-haired girl clutching her abdomen.
“Are you going to fight?”
Secondly.
I don’t want to stay outside any longer. I used too much power today. My body feels languid and tired. Is it because I didn’t inject today’s blood?
Above all, I need to get home before my mental illness flares up.
I’ve already killed three people today.
“You have to take these guys too, right? To the hospital. They won’t die, but they’re seriously injured.”
I said while pointing at the hunters slumped with deep knife wounds.
Because of, no, thanks to the restriction of three people a day.
I deliberately fought avoiding their vital points. Thanks to that, I had a headache trying to subdue them without killing, but well, it doesn’t matter as long as they’re breathing.
“……”
She glared at me while tightly gripping her sword hilt, glancing at them.
As I slowly backed away and showed no intention to attack, she quickly approached the hunters groaning against the wall and stretched out her hand.
Swift and efficient.
As she placed her hands on their arms and back of their necks, a faint light burst out.
First aid, perhaps.
“Bloody.”
[ Understood. ]
I floated a magic circle in the air with the blood spilled on the floor. Along with the swirling, rotating magical power, it prepared for transfer aided by Bloody’s ability.
“Why····.”
Just as I was about to feel the taste of blood in my mouth, a clear, small voice caught my attention.
“Why, why are you doing this?”
Why, you ask.
Because I have a body that can’t endure without killing.
Because I lose my sanity if I don’t hear their blood taste, screams, breaths, and groans even for a day.
“……”
But what would change if I said such things?
Even after swallowing numerous drugs, cigarettes, narcotics, and trying all sorts of methods, in the end, what came to mind was their insignificant lives and faint taste of blood.
While repeating to myself that I shouldn’t kill people, that I’m still human, I couldn’t resist the boiling urge.
I was that kind of species. Dhampir, just that level of insignificant race that can’t help but be led by instinct.
Therefore, all I could do was quietly accept my pain and fate.
To die.
“Because I want to kill.”
Exactly beside three corpses and the Association’s trash who were still breathing, she made an expression towards me that seemed to perfectly mix anger and emptiness.
“Because I love the fear that weak awakened ones show me when I torture them. Because the scent emanating from their trembling bodies is thrilling.”
Was blood secondary?
When did I come to calmly admit such words?
Perhaps I was already bound all over by chains named mental illness.
“Trash····.”
“Hm?”
“You trash of a woman····.”
It seems to be anger.
However, it felt entirely different from the emotions I felt from the Association’s hunting dogs who had opposed me so far.
To her, who had reddened eyes and clenched fists before I knew it, I calmly replied.
“That’s right.”
Weak and.
“I am trash.”
“I’ll kill you.”
The girl’s pupils changed. Her golden short hair fluttered and the space brightened. Before I knew it, barriers had been erected around the hunters she was embracing.
“I’ll tear your body apart right here!!”
Three swords that seemed about to explode rather than take shape floated behind her back.
No.
Don’t do that.
Don’t test my patience any further.
The blood in my mouth raged and screamed. I hurriedly took out my reserves, poured them into my mouth, and drew my knife.
The girl kicked off the ground and rushed at me. Condensed magical power exploded and dozens of sword blades charged towards me.
I bloomed my wings and half-transformed my body. I flew into the air and led the air currents. I infused magical power into my knife, swung it, and set my trajectory towards the girl. Curves flashed on the blade and lines were drawn. It shattered everything blocking the way and led to an explosion.
The girl staggered, enveloped in the aftereffects, then regained her posture. She swung her arms and plunged two huge sickles towards the ground. The girl’s greatsword flashed. Sword strikes rushed in and blocked the sickles before shattering. The air shook and wind burst. Surrounding objects were damaged and destroyed.
I scattered droplets of blood in the air. The droplets mixed with magical power and instantly transformed into five machetes. They successively pierced the abdomen of the girl who was staggering from the explosion. A deep scream leaked out and the scent of blood filled the air.
I fluttered my wings as I fell towards the girl. I gathered all the blood filling the air and condensed it into my knife. The bright red blade flashed and glowed. It greatly slashed the girl’s chest as it passed by.
Space was cut and a moment of silence came. As I landed on the ground, time moved again. The ground shook and the air rippled. The wind blew fiercely and magical power pierced through the air. All objects were destroyed and burst into noise.
With a short groan, red blood thoroughly soaked the floor.
I looked back. The girl staggered on her knees and then collapsed.
“She’s alive.”
I opened my wings but had no intention to kill. I hit her a bit hard, but it couldn’t be helped. There wasn’t much time left.
More than that, it’s impressive. Usually it would be instant death.
“Urgh, heurgh.”
The fallen girl groaned and twitched. Her greatsword lost its center and fell. A clear sound echoed through the street.
Turning my gaze, I saw that the magic circle in front of Bloody had fully formed. It would soon prepare for transfer.
I slowly stepped forward and crouched in front of the fallen girl.
“Does it hurt?”
The dark red blood that had left the girl’s body vibrated. I felt a strong urge to bury my nose in it and inhale it all.
No, I can’t. Let’s endure.
No, why should I endure?
Suddenly, such a thought occurred to me.
“Urgh, heurgh····.”
Before my thought structure could wear down, the girl regained a moment of life first. A small voice was heard along with a faint groan. Her body was shaking severely. But I didn’t feel fear.
“Absolu, cough, urp, puhak····! Absolutely····!!”
It was quite pitiful to see her trying to raise her body with her face planted on the ground.
To the point where it was a shame to see her hair all disheveled and getting dirty.
“I’ll absolutely, huk, huk. kill you····.”
After falling several times from exhaustion, she finally planted her greatsword on the ground with trembling hands and raised her upper body.
Our eyes met. They were beautiful eyes even on second look. Round orbs shining elegantly like white amethysts dyed my vision.
Even with her whole body trembling as if about to crumble, her face was still pretty.
Her fine skin drenched in sweat and long eyelashes, and her cheeks reddened with heat as if frustrated focused my attention even more.
“I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you····!! To the ends of the earth, hup, urp····! I’ll chase you down, tear you limb from limb and rip out that damn brain and mind of yours····!! You crazy trash bastard!!”
There was no fear at all. Rather, it was an aura as if she would devour me.
It was resistance I hadn’t seen up close in a long time. It was completely different from the faces of those who begged for their lives.
Her body, spewing blood while slashed all over, trembled even more severely. The large scars left on her body, with even bones slightly visible, seemed to be reproducing, making it look like it would be better if she just fainted.
Yet how, even while distorting her face and becoming covered in blood, how could she not take her eyes off me?
“Huk····. Urgh····. Is it funny····? What’s so funny about this crazy psychopath bi – Puhak!”
Smiling, she says, but my face should be expressionless as always.
I can’t lie, right?
Without realizing it, I touched my lips. The corners of my mouth were raised.
[ Aureli. Let’s go soon. ]
“Okay.”
I stood up and moved away from the girl. I walked into the magic circle and turned my head. Black smoke bursting out enveloped my body. Without realizing it, I stared directly at her.
I met her blazing eyes, but the girl slowly lost her balance and collapsed on the floor again.
“Let’s meet again next time.”
But that’s all.
In the end, that girl is also just an awakened one of humanity. A race that can only end up accepting and resigning to the end. The next time she meets me, she’ll probably meet her end as a cold corpse.
Like them, and like me.
So I don’t expect anything.
Absolutely not.
With the foreign sensation enveloping my whole body, my vision became distant.
“I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth and tear your limbs····.”
How long has it been since I heard words like that?
Everyone was busy running away when they saw me. By the time they sensed the difference in magical power and realized the situation, they were already buried under the ground.
That’s why I was always alone. That’s all it was. I didn’t think I was a pitiful woman who lost my sanity and massacred people.
To them, I was just a woman crazy for slaughter, nothing more, nothing less. I would have been the same if I were them.
So I was trash. A crazy woman, a beast faithful only to instinct, unable to maintain reason.
If that’s how they felt, that’s what I was.
I opened my eyes.
“Cough, cough!”
Is my mental illness flaring up again? Or maybe my body has weakened.
With the quiet atmosphere of dawn running towards morning as a backdrop, I wiped away the saliva that had started to overflow in my mouth.
Light.
Today, the light source catches my eye.
I look around on my way home.
On the empty night street, the eerie silence is broken by the steps of fireflies dying as they burn in the light of streetlamps.
The streetlights on the streets littered with trash and all sorts of objects flicker and go out without fulfilling their original role, not a single one intact.
I walk those streets. It doesn’t even echo. Just quietly, even the occasional noise disappears as if it was never born in the first place.
That’s all there is to it.
[ Aureli. ]
“What’s wrong?”
[ Do you have anything in mind for dinner? ]
“I don’t know.”
A small stone rolls down the street from a trivial kick.
[ How many cigarettes do you have left? ]
“One.”
And it stopped not far away.
[ We’ll have to get some from somewhere. ]
“Yeah.”
If someone else saw me, I’d look like a crazy woman talking to thin air.
Maybe it’s because of such thoughts. A moment of silence came.
[ Aureli. ]
“…..”
[ Don’t take those words from earlier to heart. Anyone would have done the same. ]
It wasn’t particularly okay.
The pain coming from the origin of my race and the mental illness weighing down my whole body didn’t end that day. The aftereffects spread and eroded me until the next dawn, the next morning.
That’s why I didn’t feel bad at all even if someone who would just briefly pass by my already crippled, sickly body and mind spat out something at me.
“Ah.”
A voice leaks out.
The circuit switches.
What if I had felt bad instead? What if I had impulsively spewed out curses, asking what they knew? Maybe then I would have been happy to feel a human’s inherent emotion.
My chest feels heavy. I dry heave as if vomiting something. But nothing comes out. My body becomes languid and my eyes close. Steeped in fatigue, I slowly seep into the cool air.
Still, it’s fortunate. Since becoming a woman, my body gets tired easily. During the time it stops without functioning normally, I don’t have to crave someone’s blood.
Yes, blood.
Blood. Veins. Nerves. Condensation. Liquid.
Hazy. Red. Fishy. Stimulating.
No, no, no.
Don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it don’t think about it.
“Ah. No. No.”
[ Breathe! Take a breath! Aureli! ]
I couldn’t lose control of my body like this.
Before my thoughts lengthened, I stabbed my heart with the knife.
Sticky pain enveloped my whole body and blood gushed from my mouth. It condensed into a red sickle, split my chest, and engraved a shining scar. The remnants of magical power mixed into my nerves and rang in my brain.
My consciousness cut off.