I’m Planning to be Killed by the Heroine

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the beeping digital clock.
The blinking numbers indicating the time pointed to 10 AM.
I held my head for a moment and retraced yesterday’s memories. I collected yesterday’s blood, met that girl – and then fainted in the alley in front of my house.
····Ah, come to think of it, I didn’t even get her name.
[ Are you awake? How, how’s your body? ]
I blinked my eyes a few times at the familiar voice and turned my gaze. A small, cute red spirit was restlessly scattering air.
My brain reacts again to the word ‘body’.
Stabbing my heart with a knife wasn’t because I couldn’t control my body from pain, or because there was some other problem.
I was planning to cut off my consciousness by fainting beforehand, before my mental illness flared up.
For my own sake, I shouldn’t have treated my body so roughly, but somehow, well. Yeah. I just wanted to try it.
Would it be correct to say I did it out of anger?
Even though my breathing was drying up as if my body would break, that gaze trying to kill me while desperately shouting what she had to say flashed in my memory.
I, I wanted to try that too.
I wanted to try changing this sickly and exhausted daily life.
I paused my thoughts for a moment and twisted my hair. I raised my body on the sofa and fiddled with the blanket. It was cozy.
“Thanks, Bloody. You brought me here.”
[ Answer the question I asked. ]
“It’s okay····, I’m okay.”
I really owe you a lot. Is this okay?
[ Don’t think like that. If you hadn’t saved me during the spirit realm extermination era, I wouldn’t be here now. ]
“When did you gather enough power to transfer just my body?”
[ Hoho. The subspace is really a good place. Just sleeping quietly can attract magic stones. ]
The distance between where I collapsed and home isn’t far····, but my body’s magic ratio must have been considerable.
“……..”
I looked over the shelf placed next to the sofa while lying down. I had run out of magic herbs. The type of herb that acts as a so-called painkiller, containing a small amount of magical components that could potentially cause addiction if not careful, but because it can control blood, the addictive components flowing through the bloodstream fail to do their job, which was quite good for me.
Drugs, cigarettes, and magic herbs.
Yeah, I’ll sleep for now.
Whatever happens, having strong power right now is very helpful in many ways.
No, not just helpful, it was enough to become my everything.
In this era where gates appear, awakened ones run wild, and the boundary between life and death crumbles, there was nothing that couldn’t be solved with violence and power.
Even during the time I spent in hiding for about a year, I used power to rob various stores and secured food and water.
[ Mmm! It’s delicious. ]
I placed some bread and food items on the table and continued eating in a quiet atmosphere with a yellow light emitting heat.
Bloody, who was eating the bread one bite at a time after magically cutting it into small pieces despite its large size compared to her body, exclaimed in delight.
“Seems like you like it.”
A cutter knife····, it seems to contain magic power judging by its slight glow, well, Bloody doesn’t have hands externally, but instead, the concentration of magic power she has inside her body is dense, so she doesn’t seem to have any inconvenience in daily life.
[ W-What, why are you looking at me like that? ]
“Why?”
[ Ah, it’s nothing····. Nothing····. ]
I wonder if spirits can feel embarrassment too. She clumsily spilled bread crumbs all over the table.
“But didn’t you say that meals humans eat aren’t staple food for spirits?”
[ Ahem····. It’s not staple food. It’s just something I get on the side besides the nutrients I need to maintain my body’s form. ]
“In your case, that nutrient is blood.”
[ That’s right. I’m a spirit rooted in the vampire clan, so it can’t be helped. Other spirits might need different nutrients, but well – I’m benefiting well thanks to you. ]
While listening to her articulate words, I slowly examined Bloody’s body. Perhaps because she had consumed a lot of those nutrients recently, the red color of her soft-looking body seemed to have brightened a bit.
[ You should eat too. Why have you been just sitting still? ]
“I’m not particularly hungry.”
[ You can’t say that. Breakfast is the start of the day. It takes care of your body’s health, gives emotional stability, and····. ]
“Ah, I got it. I got it.”
Actually, even though I didn’t want to eat, I was planning to force myself to.
It’s strange to try to do something now after just thinking about changing myself for months, but.
Yeah, still.
Each of these daily moments spent sitting at this table is precious to me. Eating breakfast normally, having normal conversations, and feeling that I’m alive.
It’s important to spend quiet and peaceful time, different from when I lose my reason while relying on pleasure.
Even if I can’t instantly follow the ending of a fairy tale, I can at least imitate a few scenes from it, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I quietly finished the meal and cleaned up the table with Bloody. Bloody seemed a bit tired after finishing the cleaning and was sucking on a tiny juice with a straw, making slurping noises.
Blood, is it blood? I don’t know.
[ So, do you have any plans for today? ]
“Hmm.”
Certainly.
The surveillance has become stricter lately.
I felt it even yesterday when I went out and walked around.
The Association probably doesn’t have that much manpower, but for it to be like this only in this area····.
Seeing that they sent even high-level awakened ones to target me, yeah. It’s probably because of me.
All those I dealt with yesterday must have serious injuries, especially that girl.
By now, the Association might be in an uproar, turned upside down.
I’m not sure how they’ll respond.
They must already be short-staffed, and looking at the overall picture, the metropolitan area is the urgent matter right now.
There, it’s been non-stop with gates, criminals, and rampaging for days.
Then there’s the relationship with the spirit realm, other countries, and top-ranking awakeners not affiliated with the Association.
And diplomacy.
My known actions so far are at best causing murders once every few days.
Unless it’s at the level of terrorism, they could divert the investigation.
If, if that’s not the case.
If, really if, they’ve already concluded that I’m the girl transformed from the boy called Aureli and are conducting a large-scale investigation.
A second clash with the Association might be unavoidable.
If that’s really the case, again, like the memory of that day.
If a situation comes where I have to take numerous people hostage and commit terrorism.
What should I do?
No, will there even be room for such thoughts? It’s clear that I’ll rampage again without being able to think normally.
“I need a cure.”
But I can’t just stay like this. Because I want to live a life completely different from my past self.
At least until I achieve those five goals shown by the sharp blue book, I must do everything I can.
Live an ordinary life, think positively, become a bit more human.
[ I didn’t mean to force an answer. How about getting some fresh air? ]
“Sounds good.”
I went out to the balcony of the house and faced the open view.
It feels good to breathe freely.
Let’s turn my thoughts back.
The first goal, blood of a high-tier awakened one.
70% assimilation rate.
I recklessly opened my wings and jumped up to get yesterday’s blood, but soon hit a snag.
There’s no way a high-tier awakened one would appear in front of me saying, “Please eat me.”
Yesterday I was really lucky to catch one through Bloody’s surveillance network, but usually, they’re nowhere to be seen.
To solve this, I need to go to a place where not civilians, but more, stronger and sticky beings are mixed,
Yeah, for example.
Criminal groups hiding their traces gathered in various parts of the metropolitan area.
But it’s not like I can go there right away.
The transfer range of the magic circle is limited, and moreover, this place is in the outskirts of Gyeonggi-do.
I’m also concerned about the Association headquarters stationed in Seoul, and even if I go, I’d have to look into the criminal groups.
Needless to say, there’s a limit to investigating criminal groups alone.
The easiest way would be to get help from the Association and start a joint investigation to find out the groups’ locations.
Even if that’s the case, would they believe me if I go in alone saying, “I’ll just pop in and out!”?
How long has it been since they opposed me, they might think I’m going to join hands with the wanted awakened ones there and counterattack.
“Ngggh····.”
It would be easier if I just took someone hostage.
To the extent that I’d say I’d kill them if they don’t do as I say.
[ What are you thinking so hard about? ]
“A way to negotiate with the Association····?”
Is negotiation impossible in a situation where I’ve already crushed their hunters?
But the Association President is a rational person. Even now, if I say I’ll stop large-scale activities and just quietly collect blood, he might accept it readily.
[ How about that girl? She seemed to be from the Association. ]
Bloody’s words bring that girl’s face to mind again.
She looked like she would stab me right away if only her arms and legs were intact.
“To the ends of the earth····, absolutely····, hmm.”
Seeing how much she hates me, cooperation is absolutely····. No, it doesn’t make sense for an Association hunter to help me willingly in the first place.
I won’t deny that I’m somewhat interested, though.
“But if I were to do it, maybe half-crush her, knock her out, take her to the Association and threaten them with her life····. No, if she’s that hostile towards me, wouldn’t it be better to kill her?”
Anyway, I’ll probably meet her soon. I can think about it then.
That doesn’t mean there’s nothing to do until then.
I dropped the cigarette I was puffing on and crushed it with my foot. I glanced at the shelf inside the house.
For now, I need to get magic herbs.
Show my face and see their reaction too.
I need to check how my status is established.