NOVEL WEB Chapter 2: A New Reality
Chapter 2: A New Reality
The shrill sound of an alarm jolted me out of my restless sleep, dragging me from a turbulent dream to a reality that weighed on my chest like a slab of stone. I reluctantly opened my eyes, once again confronted by the confirmation that this was neither my body nor my life. Morning light filtered through a poorly placed curtain, casting twisted shadows on the walls. My room—or rather, Ryota's—was an absolute mess.
I looked around with a heavy sigh. The floor was littered with empty beer cans, some crushed, others rolling at the slightest movement. Among them, I spotted pieces of women's clothing I chose not to inspect too closely. The walls were decorated with posters of rock bands I didn't recognize, and the desk was cluttered with unused notebooks, cigarettes, and remnants of packaged food. The smell was a mix of sweat, tobacco, and dampness—a constant reminder of the chaotic life Ryota had led.
I ran a hand over my face, trying to dispel the mental exhaustion that overwhelmed me. —After school, I'll clean this up. I promise,— I murmured to myself, though I knew it would be a challenge to keep that promise in a place that barely felt like mine.
I stumbled out of bed and began a routine I tried to keep as close as possible to what I was used to. After rummaging through the clothes scattered on the floor, I found Ryota's school uniform: a black jacket with gold accents and dark pants, which surprisingly fit me well. I stared at myself in the cracked bathroom mirror as I washed my face. My reflection was still a shock: messy black hair, gray eyes that seemed to pierce into anyone's soul, and the piercings in my ears that I hadn't yet removed.
—You're not Ryota,— I reminded myself quietly, tightening the faucet shut. —You're you, and no matter what this body has done, you'll handle it your way.—
I prepared a quick breakfast, if you could call a packet of cookies and a can of cold coffee breakfast. The kitchen was as chaotic as the rest of the apartment: dishes piled in the sink, crumbs covering the table, and a palpable sense of neglect.
Stepping out of the building, I took a deep breath. The fresh air was a relief compared to the stale smell of the apartment. As I walked toward the high school, I found myself surrounded by a neighborhood that reflected the same desolation as my new home. The streets were covered in graffiti, the buildings were in dire need of repairs, and the people passing by cast wary glances at me, as if they knew exactly who Ryota was.
—This isn't a nightmare,— I thought, looking up at the clear sky. —This is real. I'm trapped in this life.—
With every step, my mind filled with questions. —How can I handle this? How can I change this reputation? What does that goddess expect of me?— My thoughts swirled so much that I didn't even notice I had arrived at my destination.
Seiran High School was a large and imposing building, though weathered by time. Its gray walls were covered in graffiti, and the peeling paint revealed bricks underneath. A massive, rusted metal gate marked the main entrance, where groups of students stood chatting or scrolling through their phones.
Some of them looked at me as I passed, but upon recognizing me—or rather, recognizing Ryota—they quickly averted their gaze. I could hear murmurs as I walked by, their voices filled with fear and disdain.
The central courtyard was spacious, with an old tree offering some shade in one corner. Despite its size, the atmosphere felt oppressive, with students divided into small groups, avoiding crossing paths with the known "delinquents."
I let out a deep sigh before entering the building. The hallways were lined with lockers, some dented and others covered in stickers. I recognized a few students from Ryota's memories, but I made an effort to ignore them and stay on the sidelines.
As I headed to my classroom, I couldn't help but wonder what my life here would be like. It was clear that Ryota had left a mark on this school—and not a good one."I'll have to work twice as hard to change this image," I thought, adjusting the jacket of my uniform.
For now, my goal was simple: survive this day and find a way to adapt to this new reality without losing sight of who I really am.
As I walked through the halls of Seiran High School, I kept a relaxed posture, hands in my pockets and my gaze fixed straight ahead. My mind was lost in thoughts about how to survive this day, but I still noticed the furtive glances from the other students. Some hurriedly moved out of my way, while others whispered among themselves. They thought this attitude was intimidating, but I was just mentally exhausted.
Suddenly, I felt a small tug on the back of my jacket. I stopped and turned my head, finding Haruna standing behind me. Her face was lit by a shy smile, though her hands fidgeted nervously with the hem of her skirt.
—Good morning, Ryota,— she said in a low but warm tone.
—Good morning, Haruna,— I replied briefly, nodding slightly before resuming my walk.
However, just like the day before, Haruna didn't seem intent on leaving. She continued walking beside me, like a little puppy, taking quick steps to keep up with my pace.
Haruna broke the silence after a few seconds.
—I wanted to thank you… for what you said yesterday,— she began, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Her gaze remained fixed on the floor, but her words kept flowing. —I've been thinking a lot about it… about what you said, about not carrying everything alone.
—Oh, really?— I responded, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye as we walked through the crowded hallways.
—Yes… You're right. I hadn't seen things that way. I always thought it was my duty to bear everything for Kazuki, but… I guess I never stopped to think about how much it affects me.—
Haruna seemed to gain confidence as she spoke, though she continued to nervously play with her hair. Her voice grew a little firmer now, as if saying it out loud was helping her solidify her resolve.
I stopped for a moment and looked directly at her, causing her to stop as well and look at me in surprise.
—It's good that you reflected on that. It's not easy, but… it's something worth learning.— I gave her a slight smile, something I didn't expect to see on this face that wasn't really mine. —You're stronger than you think, Haruna. You just have to start realizing it.
Her cheeks turned a faint shade of pink, and she looked away, visibly blushing.
—T-Thank you, Ryota…— she murmured, and she followed me again as I resumed my walk.
A few more steps brought us to the classroom door. Haruna kept talking, this time with a little more confidence, though her tone was still nervous.
—You know? Yesterday, after everything that happened… well, I felt a little calmer. I still have a lot to figure out, but I realized I'm not as alone as I thought.—
I nodded silently, though her comment made me reflect. Even though I wasn't Ryota, it seemed like my presence was beginning to make a difference for her. That, at least, was a small comfort amid the chaos of this new life.
When we entered the classroom, I noticed all eyes were on us. Some classmates whispered to each other, surprised by the interaction between Haruna and me. According to this body's memories, Ryota used to start the day by intimidating others, stealing money from their bags, or simply looking for a fight. That reputation clearly still lived on in their minds.
It bothered me to know this body had such a pathetic history. I decided to ignore the stares and headed to my usual seat in the back row. For some reason, Haruna sat at the desk in front of mine.
As I organized my things, Haruna kept talking, now with a bit more energy in her voice.
—Ryota… um, can I still call you that?— she suddenly asked, turning slightly to look at me.
—Sure, why not?— I replied, somewhat puzzled.
—Well… it's just that…— She trailed off, searching for the right words. —I don't know, I feel like you've changed a bit, and… I'm glad to see you like this.—
I raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. Instead, I rested my chin on my hand, feigning disinterest as she kept talking. I didn't want her to know how much it cost me to maintain this façade.
The murmurs around us continued, but Haruna didn't seem to notice. For my part, I preferred to ignore them. For now, my goal was simple: keep a low profile, survive this day, and find a way to reconcile with this life that wasn't really mine.
...
The first class of the day was math. I watched the board with a sense of familiarity as the teacher wrote formulas and explained the concepts. It was a subject I used to master, but over time, my memory wasn't what it used to be.
The teacher asked a simple question, something about linear equations. I raised my hand almost reflexively, ignoring the surprised looks from my classmates.
—The answer is… fourteen?— I said, with more doubt than I had intended.
—Incorrect. Someone else, please,— the teacher replied calmly, turning to another student.
I cursed internally. Math hadn't changed, but clearly, my ability to recall basic details had. However, later, when they asked about something simpler, I got it right.
—Correct, Ryota. Good work this time,— said the teacher, surprised, though he quickly continued with the lesson.
I responded with a simple nod. The stares didn't stop. According to this body's memories, Ryota never participated in class; he preferred to sleep or bother others. I sighed. Changing this image was going to be a long and arduous task.
When the bell finally rang, signaling the end of the lesson, I relaxed a bit. It was lunchtime.
The classroom filled with activity as students pulled out their bentos and formed small groups to eat. I looked inside my backpack. As I feared, there was nothing useful for lunch—just a can of cold coffee and a pack of cookies. A vague memory crossed my mind: Ryota used to solve this problem by stealing money from his classmates to buy food. I shook my head in disgust. That was no longer an option.
I decided to stay at my desk. Maybe, with some luck, I could get some sleep and recover a bit of energy. I rested my forehead on the desk and closed my eyes, trying to block out the classroom noise.
—Aren't you going to eat, Ryota?
The soft but clear voice pulled me out of my attempt to sleep. I lifted my head and saw Haruna standing next to my desk, holding a bento carefully wrapped in floral-patterned cloth. Her expression was curious, with a hint of nervousness.
—I don't have lunch,— I replied bluntly, avoiding her gaze.
—Oh…— she murmured, lowering her eyes as if deep in thought.
For a moment, I thought she would leave. But to my surprise, Haruna sat at the desk in front of mine, placed her bento on the table, and began unwrapping it.
—Look, I'm not that hungry,— she said with a shy smile as she opened the bento lid. —If you want, you can have some of this.
I looked at her lunch. It was carefully prepared: perfectly shaped white rice, a couple of tamagoyakis (Japanese omelets), octopus-shaped sausage slices, some stir-fried vegetables, and what looked like a few fried chicken balls. The aroma was tempting, and my stomach growled before I could stop it.
—I can't accept that, Haruna,— I said, shaking my head.
—It's no big deal, really. Besides, I had a big breakfast today. I'm more than full,— she insisted, pushing the bento slightly toward me.
—I'm not going to take your food,— I replied, though my tone sounded less firm than I intended.
—Ryota…— Haruna looked directly into my eyes, though her expression remained slightly nervous. —Yesterday… you helped me, and you said something that made me think. At least let me return the favor, okay?
I stayed silent, unsure of how to respond. Finally, I sighed and took a pair of chopsticks she offered me.
—Alright. But just a little.
I took a piece of fried chicken, its juicy and perfectly seasoned flavor filling my mouth. I also tried a small portion of the tamagoyaki, sweet and fluffy, followed by some rice.
—Well?— Haruna asked, watching me expectantly.
—It's delicious,— I replied sincerely, which made a slight smile appear on her face.
—I'm glad you like it. I made it this morning.
Her comment caught me off guard.
—You made this yourself?— I asked, raising an eyebrow.
—Yeah… It's not much, but I like cooking,— she admitted, looking away as her cheeks turned slightly pink.
—Well, Haruna,— I said, placing the chopsticks back in the bento. —You should be proud. You're a better cook than most.
Her face turned an even deeper shade of red, and she nervously played with a strand of her hair.
—T-Thank you, Ryota…
I leaned back in my chair, watching her. Her demeanor was completely different from the Haruna in this body's memories. She was much kinder and more considerate than Ryota deserved.
The classroom was still filled with murmurs, and although I could feel the stares of the other students, I decided to ignore them. Haruna, for her part, seemed more comfortable now, smiling slightly as she packed up her bento.
For the first time since I arrived in this life, I felt a small spark of hope. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
The classroom's calm atmosphere was abruptly disrupted when the door slammed open. All eyes turned to the entrance, including mine. Standing in the doorway was Kazuki. His body appeared stiff, his gaze both nervous and determined, and his hands were clenched into fists at his sides.
I couldn't help but notice how the murmurs of my classmates gradually faded into an uncomfortable silence that spread throughout the room. I looked at Kazuki calmly, wondering what he was doing here. However, it didn't take long to get my answer.
Kazuki walked toward my desk, his gaze fixed on me. Each step seemed like a challenge, though it also reflected his insecurity. Finally, when he was close enough, he spoke in a voice that trembled but was loud enough for everyone to hear:
—Ryota! I want you to know something… Never bother me again, do you hear?
I stared at him silently for a few seconds, trying to process his words. I vaguely remembered, thanks to this body's memories, how Ryota used to bully him. But I wasn't that person, and I had no intention of continuing that behavior.
—Alright —I said, in a calm tone with no trace of mockery—. I won't bother you anymore.
The entire classroom fell into an absolute silence. I could feel the stares piercing us, shocked by my response. Kazuki, however, seemed even more baffled. His expression was one of disbelief.
—What…? That's it? —he asked, clearly expecting some kind of confrontation or ridicule.
—Yes, that's it. I'm sorry if I hurt you in the past —I added, keeping my voice neutral but sincere.
Kazuki frowned, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
—You… You can't fool me, Ryota! I know what you're like! You're only saying this because you want to humiliate me later.
—No, Kazuki —I replied, looking him straight in the eye—. I'm not playing games. I did bad things before, and I'm trying to change.
For a moment, his face softened, but it quickly hardened again. It was obvious he didn't know how to handle this situation. Haruna, who had been silently sitting nearby, caught my attention. She had her head down, her eyes avoiding Kazuki's, and her posture seemed weighed down by sadness.
It was a strange image. Why was she like that? Wasn't Kazuki supposed to be her boyfriend? Before I could analyze it further, Kazuki leaned toward Haruna and grabbed her wrist tightly.
—Haruna, let's go. You have no reason to be here —he said in a tone that was meant to be firm but came across as unnecessarily harsh.
—I don't want to go —Haruna responded in a small voice.
The discomfort in the air became palpable. Watching the scene bothered me. The way Kazuki held her seemed forceful, as if he was trying to assert control unnecessarily.
I decided to step in. I extended my hand and gently placed it on Kazuki's wrist.
—Kazuki, calm down. You don't have to treat her like that.
Kazuki shook off my hand with a quick motion, not very forceful but enough to draw everyone's attention.
—Stay out of this! —he snapped, his voice rising.
The students around us lowered their gazes, uncomfortable, pretending to be busy with their lunches. Haruna seemed even more nervous.
—Ryota, it's okay —she said, trying to calm me down as she stood from her seat—. Kazuki isn't here to fight.
—Shut up, Haruna! —Kazuki yelled, cutting her off.
The air in the classroom grew even tenser. My hands remained on my knees, relaxed, though the situation was anything but.
—Why are you doing this, Ryota? —Kazuki turned to me again, his voice filled with frustration—. Why did you send those thugs to break my house window?
I looked at him, confused.
—I don't know what you're talking about —I replied, honestly.
—Don't lie! —Kazuki shouted, pointing a trembling finger at me—. They said it was your idea! You know how much I hate you for everything you've done to me! That's why you did it, because you enjoy seeing me suffer!
—Kazuki, I already told you it wasn't me. I have no idea what happened.
—You're a liar! You'll never change, Ryota!
Haruna tried to calm him again, placing a hand on his arm.
—Kazuki, please, stop. Ryota isn't at fault.
But he turned to her, visibly irritated.
—Don't defend him! Can't you see he's playing you too?
The tension in the room was unbearable. Finally, I stood from my seat. My height, noticeably greater than Kazuki's, made him instinctively take a step back.
—Kazuki —I said, in a firm but calm tone—. I'm truly sorry for what I did in the past. Really.
I raised a hand, and his face tensed. He closed his eyes, as if expecting a blow. But instead, I placed my hand on his head and gave him a few light pats.
—I'm sorry for everything. There's no excuse for how I treated you. If you're angry, you have every right to be. But I promise I'll pay for the window.
Kazuki slowly opened his eyes, his face a mix of surprise and confusion.
—W-What? —he stammered.
—Haruna offered me a job —I continued, withdrawing my hand—. I'll use what I earn to fix the damage.
The entire classroom was completely silent. Even Haruna looked bewildered. I sat back down, ignoring the stares of my classmates.
Kazuki remained still for a few seconds before abruptly turning and leaving the classroom, still unable to process what had just happened. Haruna, without saying a word, kept her eyes fixed on the door through which he had exited.
As for me, I simply took a sip from my can of coffee as if nothing had happened.
The atmosphere was still heavy, as if no one knew how to return to normal after what had happened. Before I could take another sip of my cold coffee, Haruna slowly turned toward me.
—Ryota… —she began, but her words got caught in her throat.
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, trying to understand what she wanted to say.
—Don't worry —I said calmly, guessing she was still concerned about what had happened—. If you want to go comfort Kazuki, go ahead. It's fine.
She hesitated, her hands clutching the edge of her uniform, and then she did something I didn't expect. Instead of getting up, she sat back down in front of me, lowering her head in a humble gesture.
—Please, don't hurt Kazuki —she said in a trembling voice.
My eyes widened slightly in surprise. Not because I doubted her concern for him, but because someone was asking me something like this in such a direct way. In my past life, no one did this; direct and honest apologies were something I rarely experienced. I scratched the back of my neck, feeling uncomfortable.
—Raise your head, Haruna —I said softly, trying to sound kinder—. You don't have to apologize like that. I promise I won't hurt him.
She looked up timidly, her eyes shining with a mix of relief and doubt. Despite my answer, she still seemed worried. Her hands remained restless, fiddling with the edges of her bento, which had been set aside.
—Aren't you going to eat? —I asked after a few moments of silence, nodding toward her lunch.
Haruna shook her head.
—I'm not hungry —she murmured.
Something in her tone made me frown. I decided to press further.
—Is something wrong? —I asked, leaning forward slightly—. Earlier, I noticed you avoiding looking at Kazuki. Did something happen between you two?
Haruna pressed her lips together, hesitating to answer, but she finally spoke:
—Yesterday… we argued. It wasn't a big deal, but… —she paused, as if carefully choosing her words—. He didn't like that I talked to you yesterday. He said I was being reckless, that I shouldn't get close to someone like you…
I nodded slowly, trying to process what she was saying. Of course, from his perspective, Kazuki had reasons to worry. Ryota had been a problematic and dangerous person. But I wasn't that version of him, and Haruna seemed to have realized it.
—It's normal to have arguments at this age —I said in a reassuring tone—. But I think you should talk to him. Clearing things up is always better than letting misunderstandings grow.
Haruna lowered her gaze again, her fingers playing with the edges of her skirt.
—I don't know if I can… Kazuki is so stubborn sometimes.
I saw the sadness on her face and, without thinking too much, replied:
—I think you're stronger than you think, Haruna. Besides… —I stopped, hesitating for a moment before continuing—. You have a kindness in you that could make anyone want to listen.
My words took her by surprise. Her cheeks flushed a soft pink, and I saw her lips curve into a shy smile.
—Do you really think that? —she asked in a whisper.
—Of course —I replied, offering a faint but sincere smile—. Don't hold back because of what others think or say. If you believe something is right, go for it.
Haruna seemed surprised, as if my words had touched something deep within her. Her smile lingered, though she seemed unsure of how to respond. However, the tension in her face appeared to ease.
Just as it seemed like things had finally calmed down, Haruna broke the silence:
—Ryota… I… will pay for any trouble Kazuki has caused.
I looked at her, confused.
—Trouble? He didn't cause anything I couldn't handle.
—Even so, I want to make it up to you. Today, I'm in charge of doing the shopping for my house after class, so… I can buy you something you need.
I stayed silent for a moment, processing her offer. My first instinct was to decline. I didn't want to take advantage of her kindness or make her feel obligated to help me. But then I remembered my situation. I had nothing for dinner at home, and though I didn't want to admit it, her proposal helped me more than I'd like to acknowledge.
—Are you sure it won't be a problem? —I asked, trying to sound neutral.
Her eyes lit up, and she nodded enthusiastically.
—Of course not! I don't mind at all.
Her enthusiasm disarmed me. I scratched my head, nervous, before finally accepting.
—Well… I suppose I could ask you to get me something for dinner.
Haruna beamed, her eyes shining with a mix of excitement and relief.
—Great! What would you like?
—Nothing complicated. Maybe something like rice, some vegetables…
Haruna nodded eagerly, as if she was happy to be able to do something for me. As she talked about what she could buy, I felt an unexpected sense of relief.
....
Classes had finally ended, but the sense of relief I'd been hoping for didn't arrive. I was exhausted, the weight of a day filled with awkward interactions and curious stares had drained me completely. All I wanted was to get home, collapse on my futon, and forget about everything. However, just as I was about to step through the school's front gate, a familiar voice interrupted my thoughts.
—Ryota!
I stopped and slowly turned my head. Haruna was running toward me, her empty bento in hand and her hair bouncing slightly with each step. She stopped beside me, slightly out of breath but smiling brightly.
—It's time to go shopping! —she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
For a second, I forgot I had agreed to her offer earlier. I sighed, running a hand through my hair as she waited for my response expectantly.
—Ah… right, sure.
Her smile widened even further, and she started walking by my side. As we passed through the hallways filled with chatting students, Haruna began speaking more freely, as if our little lunchtime conversation had given her newfound confidence.
—You know, the supermarket isn't too far. We can get there in just a few minutes. —Her words flowed naturally, but I could barely focus. The only thing on my mind was the question of why I had agreed to this in the first place.
As we walked, I noticed something odd. My gaze fell to her arms, where the slightly rolled-up sleeves of her uniform revealed white bandages. I also caught a glimpse of some on her legs when she took a bigger step to avoid a crack in the sidewalk. My thoughts began to form quickly.
—Haruna —I said, my tone more serious than I intended.
—Yes? —she replied, stopping and turning to look at me.
—What happened to your arms and legs? Those bandages…
She tensed slightly, lowering her gaze with a faint blush on her cheeks.
—Ah… this… —she murmured, her fingers nervously playing with the hem of her skirt—. It's nothing serious, really. I just got a few scrapes while training.
I stared at her in silence, trying to read between the lines, but her expression showed no signs of sadness or pain, just slight embarrassment. Eventually, I decided to drop the topic.
—Well, if you say so… —I muttered, still somewhat uneasy.
Haruna smiled faintly, as if relieved that I didn't press further. We resumed walking as the sky began to darken, painting the streets in a soft orange hue.
We finally arrived at the supermarket, which turned out to be surprisingly close to my apartment. The place was bigger than I expected, with endless rows of shelves filled with products, bright lights illuminating every corner, and a steady flow of people pushing carts.
Haruna grabbed a basket without hesitation and began moving through the aisles, occasionally stopping to pick up basics like rice, fresh vegetables, and fish. I, on the other hand, was trapped in a state of absolute horror.
I stopped in front of the meat section and stared at the price of a pack of beef. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.
—Two thousand yen for this!? —I muttered to myself, nearly choking in disbelief.
Haruna, who was examining some fruit nearby, turned toward me.
—Something wrong, Ryota?
—No, nothing… just… —I glanced at the price again in disbelief before quickly walking away, as if staring too long might empty my wallet.
While Haruna continued filling her basket without worrying about prices, I realized that this girl had no sense of budget control. She grabbed brand-name products, the most expensive items in every section, as if it weren't an issue.
Finally, when I noticed her basket was almost full, I approached her with a sigh.
—Aren't you going to grab anything? —Haruna asked, stopping to look at me.
—Ah, yeah, sure. —Not wanting her to spend too much on me, I went to the instant ramen section, grabbed the cheapest pack, and a bottle of water.
Haruna watched me with a strange expression, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Then, in a swift, precise movement, she took the ramen and water from my hands and returned them to their spots.
—What are you doing? —I protested, confused.
—I'm not letting you buy that.
—Why not? It's cheap, and I don't need anything else.
Haruna frowned, crossing her arms in front of me.
—That's not a dinner. If you're going to let me help, at least let me make something decent.
Before I could argue further, Haruna said something that left me speechless:
—If you don't trust my choice, I can go to your place and cook dinner for you.
I nearly choked on my own saliva.
—What? —I exclaimed, looking at her as if she'd lost her mind—. Why would you go to someone's house when you barely know them?
—We're not strangers. We're classmates.
Her response was so natural and carefree that it left me without a comeback. Technically, she was right, but…
—That doesn't mean you should come to my place —I muttered, feeling the weight of the situation.
Haruna looked at me with a firm yet kind expression.
—I don't see the problem. I just want to help.
I sighed, knowing I wouldn't win this argument. Besides, the idea of bringing her to my messy apartment filled me with embarrassment.
—Fine, fine —I finally said, giving in—. But I'm warning you, my place isn't in the best shape.
Haruna beamed, as if she'd just won an important battle, and continued gathering the necessary ingredients while I followed, still trying to process how I'd ended up in this situation.
We eventually reached the checkout counter. As Haruna pulled out her wallet and paid without hesitation, I could only watch, feeling both grateful and guilty. This girl was a whirlwind of energy and determination, and while keeping up with her was exhausting, there was something oddly comforting about her presence.
The walk to my apartment was marked by a heavy silence. Haruna kept walking beside me with her usual energy, casually talking about the recipe she had in mind, but I could barely concentrate. My initial gratitude had transformed into a deep sense of guilt.
How did I end up bringing Haruna to my apartment?
She was a girl I had bothered not long ago. Someone who clearly had no control over her money, buying expensive products without a care, and now she was even going to cook for me. I felt like I was taking advantage of her kindness, and that only made the weight in my chest grow heavier.
Finally, we arrived at the small apartment building where I lived. My unit was on the third floor, in the farthest corner of the hallway. As we climbed the stairs, the sounds of the street faded away, replaced by the echo of our footsteps.
When we reached my door, I pulled the key out of my pocket and, before opening it, turned to Haruna. She was looking at me with curiosity, holding the shopping bag.
—Haruna… —I started, with a more serious tone than usual.
—Yes?
I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat.
—Before you enter… I want you to understand something. I… am not someone you should trust so quickly. —I looked her in the eyes, hoping she would understand the gravity of my words—. I've done bad things in the past. Things that make me evil.
Haruna blinked, surprised, but before she could respond, I looked away, turned the key, and opened the door.
As we entered, color rose to my cheeks immediately. My apartment was a mess.
It was a small space, typical of a Japanese apartment. A small genkan to leave shoes, followed by a main room that served as both bedroom and dining room. To the right, a sliding door led to the bathroom, and at the back, a tiny kitchen with an old stove and a refrigerator that barely worked.
The problem was the state of the place.
Empty beer cans were scattered on the floor, along with fast food wrappers and dirty dishes piled up in a corner of the low table. The worst part was the women's clothing scattered around the room, evidence of the messy visits I used to have before I "became" a more mature person.
—Wait a moment! —I exclaimed, my face completely red.
I rushed inside like a whirlwind, grabbing a trash bag and starting to pick up the cans as quickly as I could. Meanwhile, Haruna stayed at the entrance, watching with a mix of curiosity and amusement.
—I didn't know you lived in a place like this, Ryota —she commented with a slight smile.
—It's nothing special —I replied quickly, not stopping as I gathered the women's clothing and threw it in the bag, trying to hide it before Haruna could notice anything more.
—It's… different from what I imagined. —She looked around, tilting her head with interest—. Though, it doesn't seem so bad.
Finally, I took a deep breath, setting the trash bag aside and trying to regain my composure.
—My parents sent me to live here. —The lie came out automatically, but there was some truth in it. In reality, they had kicked me out for my troublesome behavior and left me to fend for myself.
Haruna nodded, not questioning my words.
—Well, it has its charm… I guess.
I looked at her in disbelief, but before I could say anything more, I pointed toward the small kitchen at the back.
—The kitchen is over there. Do whatever you need to do.
Haruna smiled and, without complaining, headed to the kitchen, placing the shopping bags on the worn countertop. I watched her as she started organizing the ingredients, turning on the stove, and pulling out a cutting board.
—Seems like you do this a lot… cooking, I mean —I commented while I continued to pick up the mess in my living room.
—Yeah, I do it almost every day. At home, I'm the one who takes care of dinner. —Her tone was light, as if she didn't think it was anything out of the ordinary.
—Ah… I see.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she moved skillfully in the small space. There was something mesmerizing about the way she worked, a blend of concentration and ease. I wondered why a girl like her was here, in my messy apartment, cooking for someone like me.
I sighed, resigned, as I finished picking up the last cans. Although I still felt guilty.
I approached Haruna, who was completely focused as she organized the ingredients on the countertop. My gaze drifted to the sink… and I couldn't help but let out a heavy sigh. The dirty dishes were stacked like a tower in precarious balance, and the smell was anything but pleasant.
My adult mindset couldn't handle such a mess. Although it wasn't my priority at the moment, I knew I couldn't let Haruna cook with that disaster right next to her.
I turned on the tap and rolled up my sleeves, preparing myself to face the mountain of dirty dishes. As soon as I picked up the first one, a rancid smell hit me hard. My expression twisted, my lips trembled, and a comical grimace appeared on my face as I tried to hold back the nausea.
Haruna, noticing my internal struggle, let out a small laugh.
—What are you laughing at? —I asked, turning my head towards her with an eyebrow raised.
—Sorry, sorry —she said between laughs, covering her mouth with one hand—. It's just that your face is… really funny.
My face softened, and although I tried to keep a serious expression, I couldn't help but let out a small smile.
Haruna, realizing my gaze, got nervous and quickly turned her head back to the ingredients in front of her.
As I continued washing the dishes, she worked on preparing dinner with confident yet delicate movements. She cut some vegetables with a sharp knife, placed them in a bowl, and mixed them with a dressing she had prepared earlier. Then she turned on the stove and began sautéing the vegetables in a pan with a little oil, letting the aroma fill the small kitchen.
—You smell good. —The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Haruna paused for a second, her face turning completely red.
—The food! I meant the food smells good… —I tried to correct myself quickly, feeling the heat in my own cheeks.
Haruna let out a nervous laugh and continued cooking. I decided to focus on my task to avoid making things worse, but after a while, I broke the silence.
—Hey, won't your parents worry about you being here, at a guy's house?
Haruna lowered her gaze a bit, as if my words had touched on a sensitive subject.
—My parents aren't home almost ever. —Her voice was calm, but there was an underlying sadness—. My dad travels a lot for work, and my mom… she's always busy with other things.
I stayed silent, washing another plate as I processed her response. Finally, I sighed and turned my head toward her.
—That must be tough for you. But, you know… you don't have to carry everything alone. If you ever need to talk or anything, you can count on me.
Haruna looked at me, surprised, and a small smile formed on her lips.
—Thanks, Ryota. —Her face flushed slightly, and her shy smile seemed to light up the room for a moment.
As I continued washing, my mind began to wander. The sound of water running from the faucet and the sensation of the dishes in my hands brought back memories from another time. Emily's face appeared in my mind.
Emily…
I remembered how she used to come over to my house, how we cooked together, and turned even the simplest tasks into something fun. I saw myself laughing as we tried to make a perfect dinner. That memory hurt more than I was willing to admit.
I shook my head hard to push those thoughts away, just as a shout brought me back to the present.
—Ah!
I quickly turned to see Haruna holding her hand tightly. A drop of blood was running from her finger.
—Haruna! What happened?
—Sorry, I was an idiot… —she said, trying to hide her wound—. I wasn't paying attention and…
—It doesn't matter. —I stopped what I was doing, quickly washed my hands, and opened a drawer to find a band-aid.
Without saying anything else, I took her hand carefully, cleaned the small cut with a napkin, and wrapped the band-aid around her finger. My hands wrapped around hers firmly but gently.
—Are you okay? —I asked as I finished securing it.
Haruna nodded, but her face was completely red.
—Y-yeah… I'm fine.
—Be more careful next time, okay? —I gave her a calm smile before letting go of her hand.
She nodded again, this time quickly stepping away. She turned to the pan and began cooking with almost frantic movements, clearly embarrassed by the moment.
I stayed watching her for a moment, surprised by the speed at which she was now working.
—Wow, do you always cook that fast? —I commented, trying to lighten the mood.
—Don't say that! —she replied with a stammer, not looking at me.
I smiled slightly. Her reaction was a refreshing change compared to what I usually expected from my interactions with others. Meanwhile, the aroma of the food she was preparing began to fill the kitchen, and for the first time in a long time, I felt that maybe I could enjoy a peaceful moment without the ghosts of the past ruining it.
....
The dinner Haruna had prepared looked absolutely delicious. A variety of traditional dishes were spread out over the small low table—the kind the Japanese call kotatsu—a space that invited sharing, though the silence between us was almost palpable. I observed the dishes: perfectly cooked rice, karaage with a touch of lemon, and a miso soup that released a comforting aroma. Haruna, sitting across from me, seemed a little nervous as she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
—Ryota, please try the food. I hope you like it.
I nodded, picking up the chopsticks with a bit of hesitation. My gaze shifted from Haruna to the dishes, and I finally chose a piece of karaage. As I brought it to my mouth and the flavor exploded on my palate, I knew I was eating something special. The contrast between the crispy exterior and the juicy interior was perfect.
—This is... incredible.
Without realizing it, I began eating faster, savoring each bite as if I had never tasted anything like it before. I chuckled to myself, recalling the so-called "Japanese" food from Minnesota, which now seemed like a joke in comparison.
—I don't know what kind of miracle you pulled off in this kitchen, but this is ten times better than anything I've ever eaten. Really, Haruna, this is fantastic.
She lowered her gaze, but a shy smile appeared on her lips.
—I'm glad you like it. I wasn't sure if it would be enough... or if I made it right.
—Right isn't the correct word. This is perfect, Haruna. You have talent. Do you always cook like this?
—Well, I try. But I don't always get this kind of praise...
I noticed how her voice trailed off toward the end of the sentence. I kept eating, but my attention was fully on her now.
—What do you mean?
—It's just that... it's been a long time since anyone told me my food is good. Kazuki... never does. I always cook for him. I go out of my way to make things he likes, but he never seems to notice.
As she spoke, her eyes began to shine with restrained tears. She set the chopsticks aside and looked down at the table, as if searching for comfort in the wood might contain the emotions that were about to overflow.
My hands stopped moving. I observed the slight trembling of her lips and the vulnerability that, though she tried to hide, was evident in every gesture. Without thinking too much, I leaned forward and gently took her chin between my fingers, lifting her face so she could look at me.
—Haruna.
She blinked, surprised, her cheeks turning a deep shade of red. For an instant, our eyes met, and the world seemed to stop. The shine of her tears reflected a mixture of sadness and something I couldn't quite decipher, but it moved me deeply.
—Listen. You're amazing. Anyone lucky enough to taste your cooking should be grateful, and even more so if it's you by their side. Don't let anyone make you feel like you're not enough, because you're more than enough.
My voice was soft but firm. I smiled at her, hoping to convey something beyond words, something that might ease the burden she carried. She remained still, looking at me as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard.
—Kazuki is lucky to have you as his girlfriend. Not everyone would have the dedication and heart that you have.
I saw her gaze shift downward, her smile fading slightly. Something in her expression changed, but I couldn't quite understand it. I thought she was simply emotional, so I didn't press further.
—Really, thank you for this dinner, Haruna. It means a lot to me.
She nodded slowly, picking up her chopsticks again. As I resumed eating, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more behind her reaction, something she hadn't told me. But in that moment, I decided not to push.
The sound was deafening, a sudden burst that echoed throughout the apartment. The light vanished in a blink, leaving the place plunged into complete darkness. For a moment, the silence that followed was almost as overwhelming as the noise before. I stood still, blinking in vain as my eyes tried to adjust to the nothingness.
With a sigh, I pulled my phone from my pocket and turned on the flashlight. The faint white light illuminated the immediate area, casting elongated shadows across the walls and ceiling. I didn't worry too much; it was probably just a short circuit, maybe caused by the building's old wiring.
—Well, this is unexpected...
I turned to Haruna, expecting some reaction. What I saw left me speechless: she was trembling, her body shaking with evident fear. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and her hands clutched the edge of her skirt tightly, as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded.
—Haruna, are you okay?
The moment I spoke, she took a shaky step toward me. Then another, and before I could react, she ran and clung to me desperately.
—Haruna, calm down! It's nothing. It's just the lights...
My attempt to soothe her was useless, as she held onto me so tightly that I lost my balance. We both fell to the floor with a dull thud that echoed in the small space. The phone's flashlight wobbled, intermittently illuminating the ceiling and our faces.
I found myself on top of her, my hands resting on either side of her head. Haruna was completely flushed, her breathing quick and erratic. Her eyes, filled with embarrassment and fear, avoided mine.
—I'm sorry... I... I didn't mean to... —she stammered between gasps, turning her face to the side.
Her voice was a whisper, broken by nervousness. My face burned, aware of how awkward this position must be, but I couldn't just pull away; I could feel her fragility and fear as if they were tangible.
—Haruna, calm down. It's okay.
She shook her head quickly, small tears streaming down her cheeks.
—It's... the darkness. I can't... I can't be alone in the dark. It scares me so much... ever since I was little. I've always been afraid.
Her voice cracked at the end, and her trembling intensified. Her words struck something deep within me, an almost instinctive need to protect her. I sighed and looked at her directly, trying to convey calm.
—You don't have to be afraid. I'm here. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise. This was just a short circuit. It's a common thing, Haruna. There's nothing to worry about.
She nodded weakly, but her face remained tense, her lips trembling as if she wanted to say something more. Finally, in an almost inaudible voice, she asked:
—Ryota... Can I... hug you?
Her request took me by surprise. I looked at her, trying to process her words, but when I saw her eyes full of fear and vulnerability, I simply nodded.
—Of course.
Before I could fully react, Haruna sat up enough to wrap her arms around me, resting her face against my chest. Her grip was strong, as if she feared that if she let go, the fear would consume her entirely. I felt her breathing slowly calm down as I gently patted her back.
—I'm here, Haruna. It's okay.
Her warmth was comforting, though the situation was completely unexpected. We stayed like that, in silence, with the phone's light faintly illuminating the space around us. I could feel her fear slowly fading, replaced by a sense of calm.
After a while, her voice broke the silence, barely a whisper.
—Thank you, Ryota... for not leaving me alone.
I shook my head slightly, though I knew she couldn't see it.
—Don't mention it, it's okay.
She held onto me even tighter, and in that moment, I felt that the shared silence spoke louder than any words I could have said.
The silence took over the entire apartment. The only thing breaking the stillness was Haruna's steady breaths, warm and soft, like a whisper that filled the space between us. The faint light from my phone continued to partially illuminate the room, casting restless shadows that shifted with every small movement.
Unable to help myself, my gaze drifted toward Haruna, who was still clinging to me. Her slender, almost fragile body was so close I could feel her warmth seeping through the thin fabric of our clothes. Her shoulders were delicate yet carried a subtle firmness that hinted at determination, and her neck arched elegantly, though now it was slightly tilted toward me. Her small, trembling hands still rested on my chest, while her dark hair fell in messy waves around her face, brushing my skin with an almost imperceptible softness.
Her breathing gradually calmed, though I could still feel the rise and fall of her chest with each nervous inhalation. The faint sheen of sweat on her forehead and her flushed cheeks only accentuated her vulnerability. In that moment, I couldn't think about anything other than how someone could seem so close yet so far out of reach.
Suddenly, Haruna lifted her head, and her eyes met mine. It was as if everything else disappeared; there was nothing left but the eye contact between us. Her dark eyes shone with a mixture of emotions: nervousness, curiosity, something I couldn't quite decipher. Her lips parted slightly, but she didn't say a word.
I don't know how much time passed like that, just staring at each other, as if we were both searching for answers neither of us dared to voice. And then, without warning, Haruna began to lean forward. Her movements were slow, deliberate, as if every inch she closed between us was a decision weighed with significance.
Her face was now so close that I could feel her breath against my lips, warm and delicate, like an invisible caress. My heart began to pound, so hard I feared Haruna might hear it. I wanted to pull away, but my body refused to obey. I was frozen, trapped in this moment that felt eternal.
My eyes, which had instinctively closed, opened again as I realized how near she was. Her face was completely flushed, small beads of sweat dotting her forehead and nose due to the shared heat between us; the air conditioning was still out, and the atmosphere was heavy, stifling.
—Ha... Haruna... —I murmured, my voice barely audible, broken with nervousness.
She didn't respond, just kept moving closer, her gaze fixed on mine, as if she were lost in a trance. The slight tremble of her lips drew all my attention to them, to how they seemed to move almost imperceptibly, as if hesitating before advancing.
The heat between us was overwhelming, almost unbearable. I felt my skin burning, and my mind struggled to process what was happening. Her face was so close now that I could make out every detail: the curve of her cheeks, the shadow of her eyelashes, the delicate line of her lips, which seemed so near they could brush against mine at any moment.
My entire body was tense, unable to react. My breathing was shallow, held in, as her closeness seemed to steal the air from my lungs. My hands, still at her sides, trembled slightly, but I didn't dare move them.
At that instant, when her lips barely grazed mine, I felt my mind disconnect from all rationality. There was no past, no future. There was only us, trapped in that suspended moment where time itself seemed to have stopped.