I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

Kenjiro sighed, shifting the sleeping princess in his arms to avoid the hug. "A-alright, put my drone to work and help me protect the princess."

Taguro nodded, taking the drone and starting the livestream. He looked at the princess. "She got hit by something? That's why you're carrying her around?"

"S-she's just... sleeping," Kenjiro lied.

Taguro shrugged as the party charged into battle. 9fingers was a blur, his hands darting in and out of the crowd. "Pocket Oil: Immense Stealing!" he whispered, and his pockets, which were already bulging, suddenly seemed to shrink back to normal size. He even managed to steal a small television from a nearby shop window, shoving it into his pocket with a satisfied grin. It was weird, but Kenjiro just accepted it. This world was magic.

"Screw 'em, period," Jairson screamed. "The only good criminal is a dead one!" He whispered, "Patriotism: Criminal Hunter," and glowing red marks appeared over the heads of several reptilians. He opened fire, his shots not quite strong enough to kill them, but staggering them long enough for Flora's vines to trap them.

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!" Leroy roared, charging into a group of lizards and killing them with a few swings of his massive sword. One of the lizards hissed, "You're stupid," just before it died. Leroy pulled a chicken wing from a pouch on his belt. "At least I have chicken," he said, taking a bite.

A tear of genuine joy welled in Kenjiro's eye. His party of misfits was actually doing something. The Femboy Coins started pouring in on his stream.

"Bombom's new team is overpowered!""Look at the old man, he's putting a CAR in his pocket now?!""I brought a hazmat suit just to hug Flora."

Kenjiro looked at the drone. "The princess is in danger, chat!" he announced heroically. "She was hit by a sleeping potion from the lizard people, and we are getting revenge for her!" He struck a heroic pose, holding the sleeping princess tightly.

The chat went wild.

"Bombom is so noble!""Our Bombom is a hero!""Kill the reptilians, Bombom!"

Then, things got weirder. A handsome man who looked exactly like the famous actor Chad Pitty appeared next to them. Flora screamed. "CHAD PITTY IS HERE?! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I NEED AN AUTOGRAPH!"

Then another celebrity appeared. "Jazin Believer" started singing, "Baby, baby, oooooh." The chat went nuts. "Why are the HozyHoo people here?"

A helicopter descended from the sky, kicking up dust and pollution. A woman in a sparkly dress walked out of it, singing a lame song about her thirty exes. "ZAYLOOOOOOOOOR!" Flora shrieked, on the verge of fainting.

Kenjiro looked at Taguro, his face a mask of pure annoyance. "Kill them," he said flatly.

Taguro nodded happily. He focused, pointing his fingers at the three celebrities. Bolts of crackling lightning shot out, striking them down. As they fell, their bodies shimmered and reverted to their true reptilian forms.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Flora dropped to the floor, crying hysterically over the corpses of her fake idols. The chat was flabbergasted, amazed by Bombom's "skill" in discovering the impostors all along.

With the celebrity impostors reduced to smoldering piles of reptilian remains, the remaining lizard-people, seeing they were hopelessly outskilled, began to flee into the chaotic streets. One of them paused, turning back to hiss at the party.

"We will be back!" it spat, its forked tongue flicking out. "We have already taken half of the HozyHoo!" With that final threat, it vanished into an alleyway.

Kenjiro reunited with his party, a disturbed look on his face. "So, there could be reptilians all over the world," he said, a shiver running down his spine. "T-that's creepy."

Taguro just shrugged. "But it doesn't matter, we have Bombom~" He then turned his head, looking at a random point in the distance. "Unless they are everywhere, right?" The rest of the party just exchanged confused glances, questioning once again why their newest member was so weird.

Flora, however, was not concerned with the global threat. She was grieving. "I WANT REVENGE!" she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "I SAW MY FAVORITE PEOPLE DIE!" With a wave of her hands, she conjured a comfortable-looking beach chair made of thick, leafy plants. She extended a vine, deftly snatched the sunglasses from Jairson's face, put them on, and laid back to photosynthesize her sorrow away.

Suddenly, a figure charged at Kenjiro. It was Leroy, his eyes glowing with a sinister green light, his sword raised to strike. "LEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOY—"

Kenjiro flinched, bracing for the impact. But before the sword could connect, the real Leroy appeared as if from nowhere, plunging his own massive blade through the reptilian impostor's chest. The fake Leroy dissolved into green dust. The real one just gave Bombom a silent thumbs-up.

The civilians, seeing that the danger had passed, began to emerge from their hiding places. They circled the party, cheering and applauding their heroism. The Mayor, a noble-looking old man with spectacles, pushed through the crowd.

"Thank you for helping my city," he said gratefully. He fixed his glasses, his eyes focusing on Kenjiro. "Ooh, you're the Lily everyone's talking about." He extended a hand to shake.

Kenjiro looked down at the sleeping princess in his arms. "Sorry," he said. "My hands are busy."

"Look," the Mayor said, noticing the setting sun. "Why don't you stay at our finest hotel tonight, on the city's coin? We will only charge for the food you order."

Bombom, seeing no other option, accepted the deal. The party walked to the hotel and got their rooms. Bombom was assigned a large suite with the princess and Flora, Taguro was paired with 9fingers, and Leroy with Jairson.

As soon as Bombom gently placed the princess on one of the beds, her eyes fluttered open. "W-why are you dropping me on a random bed?" she demanded, her voice sleepy but imperious. "I order you to stay with me."

Bombom sighed, resigning himself to his fate as he sat on the edge of the bed. Across the room, Flora smiled, trying her best to keep her powerful pheromones in check.

Meanwhile, in another room, 9fingers had taken a stolen TV from his pocket and was watching the news from his home city. "Local Ex-Mayor caught stealing," the anchorwoman said, as footage of 9fingers looting a jewelry store—with Jairson's face digitally superimposed over his own—played on the screen. "We should take him to judge his actions," a bald man said in an interview. 9fingers just smiled happily as his phone began to ring. "Zaza, yes, partner," he cackled. "I stole so much, I'm buying you that new purse." Taguro just lay on his bed, sighing and wishing he could be with Bombom.

In the third room, Jairson was sipping his orange juice while Leroy ate his chicken. They looked at each other, then silently offered to share.

Later, the party gathered in the hotel's lavish restaurant. The princess, still refusing to walk, was once again on Bombom's lap.

"I refuse to eat," she declared as the waiter brought her food. "You eat it first." She looked expectantly at Bombom, who sighed, nodded, and took a bite of her meal before she would touch it.

Taguro, his jealousy simmering, decided to speak up. "So, princess, why don't you... you know, order a plane or a helicopter to take you to your location?"

She looked at him with disgust. "My stupid dad wouldn't let me. That was the same thing I told him. He said I was spending too much money." She let out an annoyed "tsk" and pulled out her phone, snapping a picture of herself sitting on Bombom's lap. The caption: 'Lily's lap is comfy.' She posted it immediately, leaving Bombom even more annoyed. It was already hard enough for him to deal with his situation, but this was worse.

Across the table, 9fingers was surreptitiously stuffing rolls into his pocket. The chef, seeing this, glared at Jairson. "I'm charging you double for that," he said. Jairson just gave a weary, accepting nod.

After dinner, they returned to their rooms. The princess immediately cuddled up to Bombom in bed, falling asleep instantly. Kenjiro lay there, staring at the ceiling, wishing he had never accepted this quest. He could be working out, improving his skills, earning Femboy Coins by taking pictures... but no. Here he was, a babysitter for a grown adult.

The morning after the reptilian invasion, the party set out from the city, leaving its chaos behind. They walked for hours under the hot sun, the landscape slowly shifting from lush oasis to the rocky foothills of a large mountain range. This was the goblin kingdom.

As they approached the main camp, Kenjiro felt a familiar weakness creeping into his arms. The Featherlight Power Bar was wearing off. The princess, who had been a comfortable weight moments before, suddenly felt like she was made of lead. With a grunt, he quickly set her down on a large, flat rock and stretched his body.