I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

"Stay here," he said, rummaging through his purse for his second-to-last power bar.

The princess, jolted awake, looked at him with pure indignation. "There's no way you're eating right now instead of carrying me!" she snapped, stomping her foot.

Bombom just sighed, unwrapped the snack, and devoured it in two bites. He felt the magical strength flow back into his limbs. With another long-suffering sigh, he swept her back up into his arms.

Jairson, seeing the exchange, walked over. "Want me to carry her for a while?" he offered.

"No!" the princess declared from the comfort of Bombom's arms. "I want him to carry me." Taguro, watching from a few feet away, glared at her, his jealousy palpable.

They finally arrived at the main goblin camp, a sprawling shantytown of crude huts and smoky fires built into the mountainside. They decided to try and pass by unnoticed, but their plan was immediately foiled by 9fingers.

"Ghost Fingers," the old rogue whispered. A translucent, spectral hand shot out from his sleeve and snatched a spear from a nearby goblin guard. The other goblins noticed the spear floating mysteriously in the air and immediately rushed toward the party, pointing their crude weapons at the most obvious suspect.

"Man stole weapon!" one of them accused Jairson, his English broken and guttural.

Bombom, thinking fast, decided to lean into it. "Me friend," he said, mimicking their speech pattern. "Call leader."

The goblin let out a piercing war cry. A few minutes later, more goblins emerged, led by the very same chief Kenjiro's party had rescued from the Chimera. The goblin leader's face lit up with joy. He began jumping and circling Bombom happily before presenting him with a crown made of rough, hammered gold.

Confused, but not wanting to cause an international incident, Kenjiro knelt down so the small goblin could place the crown on his head. The moment it was settled, the entire goblin camp erupted in cheers.

Another goblin, this one wearing fancy clothes and a pair of spectacles, stepped forward. "I will translate what that means for you," he said in perfect, crisp common tongue. "By accepting the crown, you have accepted our offer to marry the goblin princess as a vote of alliance with the humans."

"W-WHAT?!" the princess shrieked from Bombom's arms. "HE'S NOT MARRYING A GOBLIN!"

Bombom's face went from confused to horrified. Flora jumped in. "But we didn't know about this tradition!"

"In case of accepting the gift and then denying the union," the intellectual goblin continued calmly, "the matter will be settled in a trial by combat. A duel with our most powerful warrior, Tar'Zineth."

Bombom sighed. This was going to take another day, and he only had one snack left. He nodded, accepting the duel, and gently put the fuming princess down on her feet.

As the goblins led them into their village, they passed a large cage filled with human prisoners. "Why are they locked up?" Jairson asked.

"Human artifact steal," the goblin leader explained, pulling a small, broken artifact from his pocket. As he held it up to show them, a blur of motion shot past. A man with a mohawk on a pair of roller skates snatched the artifact and sped away, vanishing into the rocky terrain. The humans in the cage cheered, one of them dancing and sticking his tongue out at the goblin guards. A massive goblin in a chef's hat appeared, yelling "Human food!" as other goblins began lifting the cage, carrying the now-screaming prisoners away. It was not a good scene.

They arrived at a large, dusty arena. Tar'Zineth was already there. He was big, taller than Bombom, with a glowing blue tattoo swirling up his right arm.

"FIGHT!" the leader yelled.

The goblin champion rushed forward, a sword of pure magic materializing in his hand. Kenjiro yelped and started running. "I thought he wasn't magic!"

Tar'Zineth slammed his fist on the ground, and a giant wolf made of crackling spiritual energy emerged, running at Bombom. He kept running until he was backed against a wall. He glanced at the crowd. 9fingers was stealing from the goblin spectators. Leroy was eating a chicken leg and gave him a thumbs-up. Flora was nervously emitting clouds of pheromones, and Jairson was relaxing with an orange juice. Then he saw Taguro, screaming his name at the top of his lungs. "BOMBOM! BOMBOM!"

Something snapped. Kenjiro rushed toward the spirit wolf, dodged its bite, and with a surge of snack-fueled strength, grabbed the massive beast from behind and slammed it into the ground, where it dissipated into nothing.

A smirk came to Bombom's face. The snack was working. He didn't need to run. He would destroy this goblin and finish his quest.

With a new smirk on his face, Kenjiro faced his opponent. The goblin champion, Tar'Zineth, rushed at him again, his magical sword a blur of deadly energy. Bombom dodged, but the blade was fast, nicking a lock of his hair. The severed strands vanished before they hit the ground, and his hair instantly regrew as if nothing had happened.

He punched the goblin square in the stomach, but the warrior didn't even flinch. He just jumped back, laughing.

"Why is he laughing?" Bombom growled, his anger rising. "BIRL!"

Tar'Zineth vanished his magical sword and beckoned with his hands, calling Bombom to a fist-to-fist combat. Kenjiro charged, and their fists met in the center of the arena. The goblin's punch was infused with a crackling blue magic, but as it connected, a strange thing happened to Bombom.

His red eyes began to glow with an intense blue light. A strange, swirling blue tattoo rushed over his arms, and a new figure, completely different from his usual shadow, emerged from his back. It was a slender, ethereal boy with blue hair, holding a magnificent sword made of pure, shimmering energy.

The blue boy looked at Bombom and smiled. "You forgot this," he said, his voice a calm, melodic echo. He turned to the goblin champion and, in a single, fluid motion, slashed him clean in half. Then, as quickly as he had appeared, the blue boy vanished.

Bombom stood there, utterly shocked. He had two shadows now?

The two halves of the goblin warrior began to glow, the flesh writhing as it started to regenerate. Before the process could complete, Bombom, acting on pure instinct, grabbed both pieces and, with a surge of newfound strength, easily threw them out of the arena. The goblin parts went flying high into the sky, vanishing with a faint twinkle.

The last thing Kenjiro saw before the world went black was the shocked faces of the goblin crowd.

He awoke in a soft bed, his party gathered around him. Taguro was the first to notice he was awake. "BOMBOOOOOM!" he cried, tears of relief streaming down his face. "I THOUGHT YOU DIED!"

The goblin leader hopped onto the bed, jumping happily. "Human alive! Happy day!"

Everyone turned to the intellectual goblin for an explanation. "It is a great honor for a goblin warrior to die in the arena," he stated simply.

"But he could be alive!" Bombom protested. "He was regenerating, even after being slashed in half!"

Flora cut him off, a cloud of pink pheromones puffing around her as she got excited. "Boss, you totally destroyed that goblin's ass! But who was that boy?"

Taguro nodded eagerly. "I saw Bombom's VOD when he was in the pyramid! He got a superpower when he touched some cube, so he's kinda OP now." He looked off at a random spot on the wall. "Or is he?"

"Stop being weird," Flora sighed, bonking him on the head. "Heyy!" Taguro yelped.

Flora smiled. "Now I know why Bombom likes bonking you."

Bombom got up and bonked both of their heads. "Stop bonking him," he said, looking at Flora. Then he turned to Taguro. "You deserved it for being weird."

The door to the room burst open. The princess, who had apparently been carried by Jairson, jumped out of the tank's arms and threw herself at Bombom. "Finally! I want to get to HozyHoo, fast!"

Bombom nodded. "What about the lizard people?" Jairson asked. "They said they dominated HozyHoo."

"Oh partner," 9fingers cackled from the corner, looking at his phone. "They dominated your bank account." He showed Jairson a news alert. The bald man from his country had frozen his bank account, and he was now a wanted man for multiple thefts.

Jairson's orange juice carton fell from his hand. "W-what? They can't do this! How am I gonna afford my juice now?!"

"Let's focus on the princess first," Bombom sighed. "We'll help you later."

"Oh, I'm not helping this bozo," 9fingers said.

Jairson came face to face with the old rogue, his eyes blazing. "Oh, don't provoke me. I'm in a bad mood right now," he growled, his hands hovering over his pistols.

"Too late, homeboy," 9fingers taunted. "You're not getting elected anymore." With that, he vanished, leaving only a trail of oil and the faint smell of beer behind.

"Finally, one idiot is out," the princess declared. She pointed a sharp finger at Bombom's face. "Now you. You better not get killed, or I will revive you just to spit on your face."

Bombom sighed, but on the inside, he really wanted to yeet her away just like he did with the goblin.

Leroy, who had been silent this whole time, pulled a chicken from his pocket and started eating it. This action provoked the princess more than anything else. "STOP EATING, YOU... YOU DUMB WARRIOR!"

Leroy just smiled and replied, "Chicken."

Bombom took her back into his arms. "Let's go," he said, his voice weary. "We should arrive there soon."

Taguro looked away, a jealous pout on his face.