I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

"Bombom only simping for mysterious guys," Taguro commented with a smirk.

"A-alright, s-shut up!" Bombom stomped his feet. "That's a complete lie!"

Regaining his composure, he marched out of the office and to the guild counter, grabbing the first quest that looked manageable.

Rank B - Escort a princess across the goblin kingdom.Beware, goblins are aggressive and attack everyone on sight.

He accepted the quest and went back to his new team. "Guys, tomorrow we are going on a quest."

Everyone nodded. Bombom retreated to his room for the night. He took a vial of Titan's Essence from his stash, downed it, and began his usual workout routine. After some time, he got bored and lay on his bed, pulling out his LilyPad to check his comments and coin balance.

It was the usual stuff. 'Step on me,' 'sit on me,' 'marry me,' 'date me, Bombom,' and so on. He blushed the entire time, not even daring to look at his DMs after the last incident. As he scrolled through his feed, a post caught his eye. It was from the Wyrm Queen. She was engaged. Bombom smiled, a genuine, warm smile. He really had solved the problem around those parts.

He eventually fell asleep and began to dream. He saw his old self, a weak, scrawny stick of a boy. He saw himself starting to work out, the muscles slowly building, the obsession growing until he started taking steroids, transforming into a monster of pure vanity. Then he saw himself fall, getting up to look in a mirror, only to see the face of a girl-looking dude staring back. He screamed, and his reflection began to sing a distorted, electronic song: Lxe3 - Mirror Breaker. He awoke with a jolt. It was the ringtone on his phone. He looked at the time and saw he was late. He froze for a second, then scrambled out of bed, throwing on his usual clothes—the black shirt and purple skirt. After all, he had a deal with the goblins. This quest was going to be easy.

After a restless night filled with bad dreams, Kenjiro rushed through his morning routine. He scarfed down a quick breakfast, grabbing a piece of toast to eat on the way, and hurried to the main hall to meet his temporary party. The princess they were meant to escort hadn't arrived yet.

"So guys, easy mission," Bombom announced confidently, the piece of toast still sticking out of his mouth. "I have a deal with the goblins, so they won't attack us."

Just then, Ryo and DragonSlayer walked past. Ryo caught sight of Bombom and the bread in his mouth and, with a nostalgic smirk, simply said, "Bred."

DragonSlayer, however, was in no mood for jokes. He looked over Bombom's party of misfits with disdain. "So, this is your new party, huh?" he sneered, pointing at Bombom. "Finally, us real S-Ranks can get some rest while a weakling like you handles the small fry."

"Shut up before I kick your butt!" Bombom yelled, dropping his toast and charging at him.

Before he could land a hit, a wall of thick, flowering vines erupted from the floor, blocking his path. "Hey, no fighting my Bombom," Flora said, her voice firm.

Bombom, his path blocked, stuck his tongue out at DragonSlayer, provoking him. The warrior just let out a "tsk" and turned his attention to the plant mage.

"H-hey, uh, sure..." DragonSlayer stammered, his anger instantly melting away as he looked at Flora. "You're... beautiful."

Flora blushed, her leafy hair rustling. "Y-you think so?"

As DragonSlayer stepped closer, a cloud of sweet-smelling pollen washed over him. His eyes glazed over, and a trickle of blood ran from his nose as he noticed for the first time that Flora's outfit was made entirely of strategically placed leaves and flowers. He got visibly embarrassed about a sudden... situation... happening below his waist and quickly walked away.

"S-so guys, I-I need to... you know... take my grandma for a walk," he stammered, before rushing out of the hall.

Bombom sighed. "Alright, now that the idiot is out, we can talk."

As if on cue, the grand front doors of the guild swung open. The princess entered, flanked by royal guards who shielded her from a swarm of reporters and flashing cameras outside. She stopped in front of the party, looking them up and down with an expression of pure disgust.

"So, you're the ones protecting me?" she said, her voice dripping with arrogance. "You better do your job properly, or I'll make sure your lives are ruined."

Bombom sighed internally. He thought this quest was going to be easy, but with her around, he wasn't so sure.

The princess's gaze landed on him. "Why are you even in a guild? You should be on OF," she smirked. "Alright, I saw one of your streams, and you did nothing. So, you'll be carrying me around."

"W-what?! How did I do nothing?!" Bombom protested. "I'm the strongest around here, right guys?" He looked to his party for support. 9fingers was on his phone, not paying attention. Jairson was drinking some orange juice with an expression of intense bliss. Leroy gave a silent thumbs-up.

"Yes, Bombom is the strongest!" Flora cheered, jumping up and down and accidentally releasing another wave of pheromones. Several nearby adventurers blushed and rushed to the bathroom.

The princess just laughed. "If you're the strongest, you'll be carrying me. I don't want to waste my energy." A guard who had been carrying her set her down, and she stood there, waiting expectantly.

Bombom gulped. He couldn't let her know he was super weak without his shadow. An idea sparked. He remembered seeing a snack in the guild's vending machine with a peculiar effect. "Alright," he said. "One minute, I forgot something."

He rushed to the snack machine, buying all the "Featherlight Power Bars" available. There were only three. He quickly unwrapped one and ate it, stuffing the other two in his purse. The description was clear: Halves the perceived weight of anything you carry for one day.

He walked back into the hall, and with a confidence he didn't feel, swept the princess up into his arms.

She let out a surprised gasp, her cheeks turning a delicate pink. "I-I didn't expect you to take me that easily," she stammered.

Bombom smirked. "Told you I'm the strongest here. Party, let's go."

As he said that, 9fingers deftly lifted a phone from one of the royal guards. Everyone immediately turned to glare at Jairson. "Dude, you need to stop doing this," one of the other guards said. Jairson just sighed and gave a thumbs-up.

The party got into their armored car. The princess, refusing to sit on a "random seat in a random car," settled herself comfortably on Bombom's lap. They sped off toward the nearby city, the first stop on their long walk through goblin territory.

The armored car sped away from the guild, the princess still sound asleep and settled comfortably on Kenjiro's lap. His face was flushed, a combination of embarrassment and the sheer awkwardness of the situation.

"There's a free seat right there," he pointed out, his voice a strained whisper.

The princess stirred slightly, nuzzling her head against his chest without opening her eyes. "You wish," she mumbled. "Twilight Lilies' laps are comfy." With that, she drifted back to sleep, leaving Kenjiro trapped.

They arrived at the designated drop-off city, a bustling town that was supposed to be their last stop before the long walk through the goblin kingdom. But as soon as they exited the car, they were met not with peace, but with pandemonium.

"You guys are adventurers, right? Help us!" a man screamed, running past them. "Lizard people are taking our city!"

The streets were in chaos. People were screaming and running in every direction. Kenjiro wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't afford to waste time on a side quest, but the situation was so bizarre he couldn't just ignore it. And through it all, the princess in his arms remained fast asleep.

"How is she not waking up with all this noise?" he whispered to himself.

The party rushed toward the town square, where the chaos was thickest. They saw it immediately. Strange, bipedal lizards were touching panicked civilians, and in a flash of shimmering green light, they would morph into perfect duplicates of the people they touched. It was a mortifying sight, and it was impossible to tell who was a real person and who was a disguised reptilian.

"Alright guys," Kenjiro said, his mind racing. "Flora, try to stop the lizard men from transforming. 9fingers, you can... forget it, just do your thing. Jairson, help the team and shoot potential enemies. Leroy, try not to die. And Taguro, take my drone camera for us to record the whole thing."

There was no response. He looked around. Taguro wasn't there.

"G-guys, where's Taguro?" Kenjiro asked, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple. The party just shrugged.

Just then, a second armored car screeched to a halt beside them. The window rolled down, revealing Ryo, who was laughing his head off. "You forgot someone," he said.

Taguro stepped out of the car, a single, dramatic tear rolling down his cheek. "B-Bombom," he sniffled. "I thought you had abandoned me." He rushed forward to hug Kenjiro.