I Died and Was Reincarnated as a Goth Femboy

They piled into the armored car, the atmosphere immediately thick with dysfunction. 9fingers, true to his nature, was caught trying to pickpocket Jairson within the first five minutes. The two of them started a low, growling argument that lasted for most of the trip. Flora, sitting in the corner, began to emit a faint, sweet-smelling pollen. The pheromones wafted through the vehicle, causing Taguro, who was already obsessed, to start looking at Kenjiro with an expression of such intense, lovesick devotion it was genuinely terrifying.

Kenjiro, trapped between a bickering rogue and tank and a super-simp, did the only thing he could. He activated his livestream.

"Hey chat," he sighed into the drone's microphone. "Welcome to 'Babysitting a Bunch of Freaks, Part One.' Send Femboy Coins to help me cope."

The journey took them deep into a dark, twisted forest. The location Ryo had provided was an old, abandoned alchemical facility, its stone walls now covered in moss and thick, thorny vines.

"Flora," Kenjiro commanded. "Can you clear a path?"

The plant mage smiled, a rare and beautiful sight. She placed her hands on the overgrown gateway, and the massive, thorny vines receded as if they were greeting an old friend, creating a clear path inside.

The exterior may have been ancient, but the interior was starkly different. It was a maze of sterile white corridors, humming with high-tech machinery. As they rounded the first corner, sleek, chrome-plated robotic sentinels dropped from the ceiling, their single red eyes glowing with hostile intent.

"Intruders detected," a synthesized voice droned. "Lethal force authorized."

"Jairson, front line!" Kenjiro yelled.

The cowboy-hatted tank didn't even flinch. He opened fire, his massive pistols roaring in the enclosed space, each shot powerful enough to dent the robots' chrome plating. 9fingers zipped through the chaos, his movements a blur as he expertly disabled the robots' joints with his daggers.

One of the sentinels fired a high-intensity laser beam. Leroy, the immortal knight, simply walked into it. His body disintegrated into a cloud of ash, much to the party's horror. A few seconds later, the ash swirled back together, reforming into the silent knight, completely unharmed. He continued his slow, implacable advance.

Taguro, meanwhile, was trying to "protect" Bombom by standing directly in front of him, blocking his view and getting in the way.

"Move, you idiot!" Kenjiro yelled, shoving his copycat aside. Annoyed and fueled by adrenaline, he charged the last remaining robot. The blue aura he'd felt that morning flickered around his fists, unnoticed by him. He punched the robot's head clean off its shoulders.

With the guards defeated, they kicked down the door to the main laboratory.

And there he was.

Doctor Elara stood at the far end of the room, looking over a complex console. He turned, a smug, self-satisfied smirk on his face. Beside him, leaning against a large stasis tube, was the femboy ninja, his arms crossed, looking just as arrogant as he had the first time they'd met.

Elara looked Kenjiro up and down, his eyes lingering for a moment.

"Oh, you're here," the doctor said, his voice dripping with condescension. "And you brought friends. How cute." He tilted his head. "Did you do something with your hair? And your butt... it's definitely gotten bigger."

The final words of Doctor Elara's insult hung in the sterile air of the laboratory. "And your butt... it's definitely gotten bigger."

That was it. The switch was flipped.

"W-WHAT?! YOU DARE TO CALL MY BUTT BIG?!" Kenjiro roared, his voice cracking with pure, unadulterated fury.

He charged, a blur of purple skirt and righteous indignation, his hover-drone whirring obediently behind him to film every glorious second. Jairson, ever the professional, immediately rushed in front of him, his massive pistols already drawn to tank any incoming hits.

The femboy ninja moved to intercept, but his master, Elara, simply raised a hand, a cruel smirk on his face. "Let my new creation handle them," he said. From the shadows of the lab, a hulking monster of stitched-together flesh and steel emerged, letting out a guttural roar as it charged Jairson.

While the tank engaged the monster, the rest of the party descended into absolute chaos. 9fingers, seeing his opportunity, began zipping around the lab, stuffing glowing tubes and valuable-looking components into his pockets. Elara's eyes narrowed. "Stop stealing my tubes, you cowboy-hatted buffoon!" he yelled, glaring at Jairson, who was busy unloading powerful rounds into the abomination.

Leroy, the immortal knight, saw his moment to shine. "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!" he screamed, his voice echoing through the lab. He charged forward at an incredible speed, a blur of black armor... and then promptly tripped over his own feet, falling face-first onto the tiled floor with a sickening crack. His neck broke, and he lay there, motionless.

Flora, meanwhile, tried to help by summoning thick, grasping vines to ensnare the monster. But in the heat of the moment, she got too close, and a potent cloud of her own mind-altering pheromones washed over her. Her eyes glazed over, and she turned to the nearest person—Taguro—with a lustful grin. "Heeey," she purred, trying to pounce on him. "Let's have some fun~"

Kenjiro ignored it all. His eyes were locked on his target. As he finally reached Elara, both of their shadows erupted from their backs, colliding in a flurry of phantom punches.

"Oh," Elara smiled, watching the two spectral figures trade blows. "So you have the same power as mine. Cute. But it's not enough."

His ninja shadow suddenly burst with a strong, dark aura, its form solidifying until it looked like a real person. The ninja made a series of complex hand gestures and then began to spill a torrent of high-pressure water from its mouth, creating a flash flood that blasted through the lab. The entire party was knocked off their feet, pushed back by the overwhelming force.

When they scrambled up, soaked and disoriented, Elara and his ninja were gone. But on the main computer console, a single line of text glowed mockingly: "Nice butt Bombom."

Kenjiro's rage reached a fever pitch. He stomped his feet, his face a brilliant shade of crimson. "HE KEEPS CALLING ME THAT! I SWEAR, WHEN I FIND HIM, I'M GONNA—"

"You will kiss him, right?~" Taguro purred, jumping on Bombom's back.

The livestream chat went crazy.

"I want to see Bombom kissing that femboy doctor!"

"sit on me bombom"

"Kick his ass Bombom"

Kenjiro looked from the chat to Taguro, his brain short-circuiting. "Yes, I will—" he blurted out, before pausing, horrified. "W-what?! Of course not, dumbass!" He bonked Taguro on the head. "The monster is getting out of jail! BIRL!"

Across the room, 9fingers got up and resumed looting the place. The rest of the party, seeing him, immediately turned on Jairson. "STOP STEALING! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"

Jairson just sighed, pulling a carton of orange juice from his pocket. "Ohhh, that's so good, maaaan," he said, taking a long, satisfying sip. The chat spammed orange juice emojis while 9fingers laughed, calling his friend "BaldBoringMan13" to tell him, "I'm stealing to buy us some beer."

Back at the guild, Kenjiro stormed into Ryo's office and explained everything, promising once again, with more passion than ever, to defeat Elara.

Ryo just laughed. "Oh no~ Bombom was not strong enough to get his revenge. What will you do now?"

Kenjiro glared at him. "I'm gonna get stronger! I'm gonna pull my trapezius descending out and I'm gonna—"

Taguro, who had followed them in, jumped into his arms. "He's gonna sit on everyone!" he announced to a random spot on the wall, as if someone else were watching.

"W-what?!" Bombom blushed. "That's not what I was saying!"

Everyone laughed as Kenjiro stood there, fuming and muttering his weird, rage-fueled catchphrases to himself.

Bombom looked at Ryo, his face a mask of pure exasperation. "Hey, is my party ready to go yet? This one is disastrous. One of our 'immortals' died." A laugh started to build in his chest, and he couldn't hold it back. "He tripped on himself and broke his neck!"

Ryo chuckled. "Oh, Bombom, don't worry. He'll heal soon." As if on cue, the office door opened, and Leroy, the immortal knight, walked in as if nothing had happened. He gave them a silent thumbs-up. Bombom just sighed while the rest of the temporary party, who had gathered in the office, smiled.

"Give your friends more time to rest," Ryo said, turning back to Bombom. "And enjoy your temporary team."

"Enjoy them?" Bombom scoffed. "Our old man does nothing, while our tank was stealing everything!"

Jairson, who was leaning against the wall, just shrugged, clearly not minding taking the blame. Across the room, 9fingers was on his phone, talking animatedly. "Yes, partner," he cackled. "Tonight we are eating rump steak and drinking some beers!"

Flora drifted closer to Bombom, her living vines rustling with excitement. "So we are taking another mission together? That's awesome!" She jumped in happiness, and a puff of sweet-smelling pollen spilled into the air around her.

"Don't you have a hazmat suit for us?" Bombom asked Ryo desperately. He turned back, his eyes wide with panic. "I don't wish to be horny anymore!" A single, dramatic tear fell from his eye.