Help?! My Harem is Trying to Kill Me!

 

“Damnit! Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!” 

I was currently in the male’s bathroom, or rather, the bathroom for the janitor. It seems the school  didn’t have a designated bathroom for men yet, so for now I was sharing this with the janitor.

I was punching the walls in the closet of a bathroom, cursing my rotten luck. The memories of Jason being crowded by all the girls causing my  blood to boil. 

I was having a hard time breathing, and could barely process what was happening. I needed air and time to think. I announced that I needed to use the restroom, but no one seemed to care. They were more concerned with Jason. It was as if I was made to be invisible.

“He’s a Chad! A fucking Chad! Not only is every woman disgusted by me, now I have this beautiful bastard ready to scoop them all up! Arggghhhh!!!” 

I’m not famous, rich, handsome, tall, athletic, and I don’t have some absurd talent! And now I have to compete with a Chad?! How the hell do they expect me to clear this game?! It’s illogically unfair!  

I screamed at the top of my lungs as I tried to rip my hair out. “Even if I did have any of that, the bastard sparkles!!! He fucking sparkles!!!! How am I supposed to compete with that?!!!!” 

I collapsed to my knees, breathing erratically and sweating profusely. “I take my wish back!” 

Nothing happened despite what I said, but it wasn’t too shocking. After all, I didn’t get to pick what world I ended up in. “Careful what you wish for, huh? Aha…”

I fell face down on the floor and started laughing uncontrollably. “Game over! Might as well give up now! I’ll never get my harem, and we’re all going to die!! Woooh!” 

Unbeknownst to Jeff, his laughter echoed in the hallway, the walls manipulating his laughter to sound even more maniacal than it already was. And at this time, there just so happened to be two female students walking down the hall. After hearing Jeff’s insane laughter, the two students ran away in fear. And thus, the legend of the laughing maniac began. 

I was laying star fished on the floor, my breathing ragged and erratic, my throat strained, and I was drenched in sweat. 

“Ah..” A sudden realization hit me. “I could have gone back.”

Lilia said that I could have wished for anything. Which means… I could have wished to go back to my world. Maybe even go back stronger, smarter, faster, and more wealthy. “….IIIIIIIMMMM AAAA DDDDUUUMMMBBBAAAASSSS!!!!!” 

I flailed around on the ground, punching the air before I finally tired myself out. 

I finally remembered that I was in the bathroom, lying on the floor. “Gross.” I announced before standing up and dusting myself off. 

Despite my initial disgust, the bathroom floor was surprisingly clean. And it smelled really nice, like flowers and citrus. “Hmm, the boys bathroom was never clean. I’m actually lucky in that regard, I guess.” 

I headed over to the sink and cut the water on.  

“What’s done is done. Besides this horrible predicament, I don’t regret my wish. I will become a harem king and save everyone!” I took a huge breath before shouting. “I don’t know why you’re here Jason, or what you want. But, it’s clear that the game put you here to stop me!” I closed my eyes, inhaling another deep breath. “I'm going to beat you!”

I recalled him walking into the classroom sparkling all over the place and the girls fawning over him. 

“Fuck!” I screamed as I smacked the sink. 

I have to come up with a plan. This world isn’t exactly like the game where women are just going to fawn over me. I have to actually get them to like me. Not only that, but I need to get them to be okay with sharing me! 

The weight was almost crushing, and I found myself balling my fist up until it hurt. 

“I can do this! I can do this!” I repeated those words like a chant. Calming my heart and relaxing my nerves after a few minutes of it. 

I cleaned myself up and took one last look in the mirror. “I can do this… I have to!” 

The rest of the day was filled with awkwardness and plenty of uncomfortable and soul crushing situations. Like the rude lunch ladies, or the table that I decided to sit at that was immediately abandoned by all of its occupants as soon as I sat down. But, surprisingly I managed to make it through the day. Compared to everything else it was pretty uneventful. 

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I didn’t run into my more future harem members. I figured that since I met Riri and Saya so early, I might also see them but that doesn’t seem to be the case. It looks like this world has its own plans set in motion. 

History was the last class of the day, and I was filling my book bag in a rush. Why I was rushing was because I was trapped inside the classroom with Riri. Admittedly, I dozed off midway through the class and woke up to find myself alone with Riri. 

Riri was still scribbling in her notebook and listening to music through her earbuds. 

She looks really cute just like this. Too bad I know what she might be like. 

I have to approach one of them as soon as possible. I can’t count the women I’ve met so far today. Riri and Saya are problematic, and they would have to wait for that very reason. Jennifer and Sarah are teachers so if this world is anything like real life they don’t want to risk their jobs. 

I sighed softly before continuing to stuff books into my book bag. 

 That leaves Gabriella. She was a Brazilian transfer student. But, her appearance was much later in the story. Though, it can be anytime now. 

I finally finished stuffing my pack back, and strapped it on my back. I took one last look at Riri before I turned around to leave. 

“Hey, white boy!” A small, but loud and feminine voice entered my ears. 

I stopped dead in my tracks, questioning my hearing. 

The only person in here is me and…

“Why do you keep staring at me?” Riri said flatly. 

I turned around slowly, to discover Riri staring at me intensely. 

Shit! I thought she didn’t really notice me! Now that I think about it, her eyes weren’t glued on Jason like the rest of girls. 

I pointed at myself. I was still having trouble understanding that it was me she was referring to. 

Riri muttered ‘wow’ with a surprised facial expression. “I.. you know what? I was talking to the person behind you.” 

“Huh?” I turned around to see that there was no one standing behind me. I knew that she was messing with me, but it was still hard for me to believe that she was talking to me.

I heard a snicker, which caused me to turn back around. 

I found Riri sitting in her chair resting her head on her hand with a semi amused half confused expression. 

What should I do?! I wasn't prepared to meet her, but.. 

“Are you good?” Riri asked. “Like, in the head?” Riri asked as she tapped the side of her head. 

What a! No.. no. I can’t blow up here. This could be an opportunity. To get closer to her, I can’t waste it! 

“Haha, that was a good one.” I laughed, trying to sound as friendly as possible. 

Riri chuckled slightly. “I’ll take that as a no.” 

I was stunned by how cute her laugh was, and it took a couple of seconds for me to recover. 

“Mmm! W-We’ll, it’s nice to meet you, I’m J-“ Before I could finish my sentence, Riri had already cut me off. 

“I know who you are, white boy.” Riri said with an annoyed look on her face. 

“Why do you keep calling me that?!” I shot back. “I’m not even white!” I pointed to my light colored beige skin. “My dad is mixed!” 

“Okay Logic!” Riri rolled her eyes. “Are you going to make another song about it? Ooouuu! I got the chorus!” Riri started pounding the desk, producing a catchy beat. “~I’m black y’all! I’m blackity, black, black~” 

What the! “What’s your problem?!” 

Riri stopped beating the desk, and sent me a glare. “What’s yours?! You’ve been staring at me all day, and you have the audacity to get mad when I confront you about being a creep?” 

“That's not what I was doing!” I yelled.  

Riri put her hand up. “Then what were you doing?” 

“I…” I realized that there was no real explanation that I could give her that would be suitable. It’s not like I could tell her that I was planning on making her a part of my harem? “Nevermind. I’m sorry.” I mashed my teeth as a little bit of my dignity died. 

She had every right to be upset that I took a couple of peaks at her, but did she have to be so rude?! Am I in the wrong here?! 

“Well, I’m pretty af so I’ll let it slide this time.” Riri said as she looked at her nails. “Next time, be respectful and make sure I don’t notice you being a creep.”

Who the fuck does she think she is?! She’s cute, sure! But she’s not the baddest bitch in the world! And even if she was, so what?! 

My blood was boiling,and it took everything in me not to explode. 

“Noted.” I mashed my teeth, forcing the word to come out. 

“Good boy. Now run along.” Riri turned back in her chair, shoing me away like an owner does for their dog. 

“Bitch.” I muttered under my breath as I passed through the door. 

“Excuse me?!” Riri exploded. 

I slammed the door shut and fled the school as quickly as possible. I didn’t want another ‘Saya’ incident like earlier. 

I made my way to the train station. Mizuki should be arriving at the first station to meet me there. 

I don’t know how it’s possible, but she’s even worse than her character in the game! Now that I think about it, Saya is too! What the fuck?! This has to be a result of the increased difficulty! 

The game is one thing, but I really don’t want to be associated with problematic people like Saya and Riri, but.. it looks like I don't have a choice.

I mentally sighed, exhausted from the day, ready to go home. 

As I was walking, I noticed a familiar face in the crowd of people. 

“Sa-“ I quickly covered my mouth, realizing the mistake I just made. 

Saya turned to look in my direction and I ducked behind a tall dude. 

“Hey!” The man said angrily. 

“Sorry.” I whispered. 

The guy I ducked behind didn’t look pleased, but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth it and walked away. 

I breathed a huge sigh of relief after the man left. I am absolutely, positively, certain that if things were to come to blows I would most certainly get my ass handed to me by him. 

I quickly dismissed those thoughts, and went to look for Saya.

Shit! Where did she go?!

I ran around the train station like a chicken with its head cut off. Bumping into numerous people. 

“Hey, asshole!” 

“Watch where the fuck you’re going?!” 

“Get the fuck out of the way!” 

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 

Luckily everyone was too busy with what they were doing and where they were going to, so they settled for hurling harsh language at me. 

Finally, I saw what seemed to be Saya, and she was looking around. As if she was looking for someone. 

Where is she going? And who is she looking for? 

Hmm.. I wonder if this could be considered stalking? Why am I following her? 

A thousand existential questions clouded my head, but I quickly dismissed them. I had a gut feeling that I should follow them. It might turn out bad, but I had a feeling that it would turn out worse if I didn’t. 

Once she becomes a part of my harem she’ll understand anyway. 

Saya’s eyes briefly lighted up and she carefully maneuvered through the crowd to reach something. 

I tried to mimic Saya, but was horrendously unsuccessful. 

“Hey Dickhead!” 

Plenty of horrible slurs were being hurled at me, but I didn’t care this time. All I cared about was keeping up with Saya which I was doing a terrible job of. 

Damnit! Why is she so good at this?! 

I finally caught a glimpse of Saya, but I was shocked by what I saw. 

There was a grey haired old man with a big belly holding Saya’s hand. He had a disgusting smile on his face and was walking with a pep in his step. Saya on the other hand had a placid smile on her face. It looked like they were saying something to each other, but I was too far away to hear it.

Who the hell is that fat fucker?! And why are they so friendly?! 

Saya and the old man rounded a corner and I struggled to catch up. 

Fuck! Shit! Damnit! Ugh!!! Why do train stations have to be so crowded?! I have to hurry! I got a bad feeling about this! Here I come Saya, I’ll save you! 

I fought my way through the crowd, finally rounding the same corner as them. 

“Shit!” I screamed as I walked in circles looking for Saya and the old men. 

Damnit! At this point I’ll lose them permanently! Maybe I should just turn around, it’s none of my business what she does. Ughhh!! What should I do?! 

“Hey, young man!” A haggard voice called out. 

I turned around to find an old black man with a grey beard and ragged clothes. He had a sign resting on his lap spelling ‘Just a little kindness can change a person's day. God bless.’ 

“Can you help a brother out? I haven’t eaten anything all day except for a bag of Doritos.” The old man said. 

Damnit! I don’t have time for this! “Uh. No. I got you ne-“ 

“Just a little kindness can change a person's day.” The old man said with a big smile. As he picked up a paper cup. 

I rolled my eyes as I sighed loudly enough for him to hear. 

I reached into my pocket for some spare change and found a dollar left over from lunch. 

Fine! You want a dollar so damn bad?! 

I threw the dollar in the old guys cup. “Here!” 

The old man smiled even broader than before, showing his missing teeth. “Haha.. a little kindness can change a person's day.” The old man pointed to the right which led to a tunnel around the corner. “The people you looking for went that way.” 

“Huh? How would y-“ The old man laughed before he interjected. 

“I got a good eye for things. The army taught me that.” The old man laughed. “Pretty girl with an old white man. You better hurry, I didn’t like the look in his eyes. Tell the truth, I didn’t like the look in either one of their eyes. Predators. Best be careful young man.”  

“Th-thank you!” I screamed as I took off running. 

“The names Jax! Come back and see me sometime!” The old man screamed back. 

“Alright, I’m Jeff! See you later!” I waved goodbye as I rounded the corner. 

I’ll give him a hundred dollars if he’s right! 

After maneuvering around the crowd I found an area that was void of any people. I had an inkling that this was where they would be, so I followed my gut. 

I ran down into the secluded area and as soon I turned the corner, I froze dead in my tracks. 

There they were. The old man was trembling and sweating with an even more vulgar smile on his face as he looked to the sky with closed eyes. And Saya… on her knees.. with her hands glued to his pants. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”