Gacha Gacha Hero

There was a small courtyard out behind the kitchen. Ash picked through a pile of shoes on the ground. Nearby a coop full of chickens watched him with avian interest.

*Cluck*Cluck*

“How did I summon an entire batch of only left shoes?” Ash kicked one of the offending footpieces.

Luke raised his head out of a washbasin and ran a towel over his hair.

“The chickens seem to like them.” Luke said.

Two chickens were fighting over the laces of a boot.

Cophin wandered out of the back of the kitchen. “Good. Yer getting cleaned up.” He pointed at the pile of shoes. “Did you summon all of those?”

“Yeah.” Ash said.

“Why are they all crap?”

Ash feigned tears. “I’m trying my best.”

Cophin threw an apron at Luke. “Here. Put this on.”

Luke threw the apron around his neck.

“Good. Good. A Sous Chef must look tha part.” Cophin nodded.

“This is great. I’m so excited. I get to be an apprentice again.” said Luke.

Cophin helped adjust Luke’s apron string. “Again?”

“That’s right. I was briefly an Alchemist’s apprentice.”

“What happened?”

“There was an explosion, and a goose, and then I started vomiting. Those things are actually related. I’m giving you the highlights. But I did force my master to leave for the Capital. I wasn’t technically fired so I guess now I’m a double apprentice.”

Cophin grumbled. “Apprentice nothing! Yer my Sous Chef. You are here to work not to learn. Now grab this knife and follow me.” He thrust a knife into Luke’s hands.

“Oh boy. A knife!” Luke followed Cophin into the kitchen.

Plinth strolled into the courtyard past Cophin. “Go easy on the boy Cophin. We don’t want our first employee in so long to get stabbed on his first day.” Plinth winked at Ash. “I’m kidding of course. He’s really very sweet when you get to know him.”

“I don’t believe that.” Ash snorted.

Ash held a loafer up to his heel.

“Trust me. I’ve been with Cophin for a long time and, Oh no! That chicken isn’t breathing. Grab it quick!” Plinth pointed.

*Clugggk*

One of the chickens was trying to swallow a shoelace.

*Clllugk*

The bird squawked in a panic. It ran across the yard. The shoe bounced along behind it.

“What do I do!?” Ash yelled.

“Get the lace out of its mouth!” Plinth widened his stance and tried to corral the chicken.

Ash lunged for the bird. The chicken spun on one scrawny leg, whipping the shoe around its head like a tetherball.

“Ah! My shin!” yelled Ash.

The panicked bird spun in place. The shoe spun around its head like a yoyo. Ash’s legs took a beating from the flying footwear.

With a desperate lunge Ash grabbed the shoe in midair and yanked. The chicken was launched into the air. With a final *Cluuugkkk* the shoelace was dislodged from its throat. The chicken landed on the other side of the courtyard in a burst of feathers. The bird stood up, ruffled its feathers once, and then went back to pecking at the pile of shoes.

“Good job.” Plinth patted Ash on the back.

“No problem.” Ash threw the danger shoe over his shoulder.

“I think Cophin might have an old pair of boots that you can wear.” Plinth went inside and started rummaging through a storage closet.

“Plinth! Don’t you give him any of ma shoes!” Cophin shouted from the kitchen.

Plinth walked back into the courtyard. He held out a pair of boots to Ash. “These should just about fit you. Cophin is taller than you are but he wears a narrow boot. These are his spares that he never wears. Go ahead and try them on.”

Ash but on the boots. He stamped his feet a few times to get his heel in.

“How do they fit?” Plinth asked.

“Good. A little roomy but they fit.”

“That’s wonderful. Good shoes are very important in our profession. Always take care of your feet. Now let me get you some socks to go with those.”

Ash made eye contact with Cophin through the kitchen window. “Thanks so much Plinth. These boots are great. I’ll make sure to take good care of them.”

Cophin grumbled and sharpened a carving knife against a whetstone.

#

Plinth walked Ash and Luke around the dining room.

“And that’s the basics of our dining room. Now let’s get you two some food before we open for the evening.”

“Order up.” Cophin shouted from the kitchen window. He placed two plates of leafy greens and diced vegetables on the window sill. Ash and Luke collected the plates.

Cophin leaned back and crossed his arms. “Enjoy.”

Luke and Ash took some tentative bites.

Luke stirred the plate with his fork. “What is it?” he asked politely.

“It’s a chop salad.” Cophin said.

“Are you sure? I don’t see any bacon. Or eggs. No croûtons or vinaigrette. More of a vegetable tray than a salad.”

Ash choked down a laugh.

“And I suppose tha my new Sous Chef is some kinda expert on salads?”

“Not at all. But I have eaten a fair number. When I was in the Castle- *Cough* Uh, when I was in the Cat-style-house, that I lived in, not in the Capital, we had all kinds of food prepared by exotic chefs.”

“Like what?” asked Cophin.

“We had lemon butter salmon, or baked quail with steamed lotus hearts, or shakshuka with roasted garlic. There really was no lack of variety.” Luke put on a dreamy smile.

Cophin *Slammed* his hand down so hard the cast iron on the stove rattled. “Worthless! How can ya really appreciate what you’ve eaten if it’s prepared with every flavor under tha sun. Food should be raw. It should be visceral. The only seasoning should be tha tangy salt of the chef’s own tears. A salad should be so fresh that ya can taste the dirt on the leaves!”

“It is very fresh.” Luke gave a winning smile.

“I bet the chickens eat better than this.” Ash snarked.

“What was that?” Cophin snapped.

“I said it’s delicious. I’m actually quite used to eating raw vegetables. Beets, carrots, potatoes. Anything you can get in bulk really.” said Ash.

“Are ya mocking me?”

“Would that bother you?”

“Save some of that friendly energy for our customers.” Plinth said from the dining room.

“Don’t worry. I have an inexhaustible supply.” said Ash. He turned to Plinth. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where is the rest of my uniform?”

“What do you mean?” asked Plinth.

“My uniform. All you gave me was this button up shirt and these dress pants. Shouldn’t there be more to it?” said Ash.

“Right. Also what is the theme of your restaurant?” said Luke.

Plinth gave a wan smile. “There is no uniform.”

“Huh? But how are people going to know I’m a waiter?” asked Ash.

“Because you’re going to be waiting on them.” said Plinth.

“But I thought this was a restaurant?”

“It is.”

“Then what’s the theme?”

Cophin interrupted. “There isn’t one. It’s an un-themed restaurant.”

“A what?” asked Ash.

Luke looked around. “A restaurant without decorations or uniforms. I kinda like it.”

“Sure. It’s, novel.” Ash shrugged.

“I’m very happy to hear that.” Plinth said. “Now if you’re done eating why don’t you open the door so we can start serving people?”

“On my way.”