Gacha Gacha Hero

Ash opened the front door. Vance shoved past him and ran into the dining room.

Ash blinked. “Who? What?”

Vance moved over to a table along the front wall and sat down. He leaned across the table and half opened the wooden shutter so that he could peek out at the restaurant across the street.

Ash walked over to the table. “What are you doing here?”

Vance didn’t look up. “Ah yes, ignore me. I’ll be gone in a little while.” Vance had changed his clothes. He was now wearing a dark green blazer, riding boots, and several deep purple scarves.

Ash looked over at Plinth for advice. Plinth mimed pouring a glass of water.

“Can I, get you something to drink?” Ash asked.

“Why would you do that?” Vance looked up briefly.

“Because this is a restaurant.”

“It is?” Vance glanced at the dining room. “I thought it was a furniture store.”

“Why would you come in here if you thought this was a furniture store?”

Vance waved for Ash to come closer. Ash leaned down next to the table.

Vance whispered.

asked Ash

Vance pointed across the street at the Galaxy Lip restaurant.

said Vance.

Ash squinted his eyes. Bede and Privati were seated at a table out in front of the restaurant. The Orchid Keeper was seated across from them.

“Those are the people that you were arguing with at the Gambling Hall right?” said Ash.

“That’s right. How did you know that?” asked Vance.

“I was there. I saw you. We met earlier today.”

Vance looked Ash up and down. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. We got thrown out of the chute at the same time.”

Vance inspected his nails. “Doesn’t feel familiar.” He went back to looking out the window at the restaurant across the street.

“Hey waiter!” Cophin yelled from the kitchen.

“What?” Ash yelled back.

“Are you taking his order?”

“Yes!”

“Then tell me what he wants!” Cophin shouted.

“One of everything!” Ash shouted back.

Ash dropped a paper menu on the table. Vance picked it up and used it to hide his face so he could continue spying on the restaurant across the street.

#

“Ash?”

Ash turned around. Tasha was standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I’m working.” Ash said.

“You work at a hardware supply store?”

“What? No. This is a restaurant.”

“Really? Why aren’t you wearing a uniform?”

“I am, or I’m not, it’s not that kind of restaurant.” Ash waved at Tasha. “Look why don’t you come inside and sit down. We can talk later.”

Tasha sat down at one of the tables in the dining room. She pulled Eins out of her clothes and seated the dog next to her.

“Eins why are you wearing that bow?” asked Ash.

“I’m a mascot.” Eins replied.

Plinth walked over to the table. “Who is this Ash?”

“Plinth, this is Tasha. We met her on the road to the city. She gave us a ride. And this is Eins. He’s our, dog?”

“Bark.” Eins said.

Plinth was all smiles. “It’s nice to meet you Tasha. That’s a lovely cloche you’re wearing.”

Tasha yanked the hat off of her head. “Huh? This? I was meeting- I was walking. Walking around the city. It’s important to protect your skin from the sun.”

“I agree. Can I get you anything to drink? We have a lovely pinot grigio.” said Plinth.

“That sounds nice.” Tasha said.

“And may I suggest a charcuterie board to pair with your wine?”

Eins scampered up on the table. “Oooh, Aaah, barkbarkbarkbarkbark!”

“Sure. One of those as well.” Tasha said.

“Ash, if you would put the order in to the kitchen.” said Plinth.

“Right away.” said Ash.

“I’ll be right back.”

Tasha leaned over to Eins. “What’s a shar-two-de? I spend a lot of time on the road. What did I order?”

Eins put a reassuring paw on her arm. “Don’t worry. It’s lovely. You won’t regret this.”

Tasha waved at Ash. “By the way Ash, do you still have my portable shower curtain?”

#

“Hello?” Ave stood in the doorway of the dining room. She had a loose jacket over her shoulders and a briefcase in her hands.

“Ave! You found us.” Luke walked over and set a basket of bread on Vance’s table. “How did you find us?”

“Where’s the butter?” asked Vance.

“No butter. Sorry.” Luke replied.

Ave shifted on her feet. “To be honest I wasn’t actually trying to find you. I was looking for a place to change my clothes and I thought this building was abandoned.”

“Well come on in and grab a seat next to Tasha.” Luke said.

Ave looked around the dining room, then she walked in and sat down next to Tasha.

#

“And that’s why a heavy attack deck will lose to a mill strategy every time. Removal will always be stronger than direct damage. If your opponent can’t put pressure on your life points then you don’t need to worry about defense.”

“Uh huh.” Bede tried to hold his eyes open. He shifted in his seat and tried to keep the blood flowing in his legs.

The Orchid Keeper droned on. “Now of course counter spelling is the traditional meta for removal. But I’ve always found that deck removal is the more effective strategy. After all, if your opponent counters your counter spell then where are you?”

“Where are you indeed.” Bede glanced across the table at his cousin. “What do you think about that Privati?”

Privati pretended not to hear him. She continued filing her nails. Bede *Coughed* to try and get her attention. An attempt to pull her into the conversation. She refused.

The Orchid Keeper continued. “Now I typically run a mill lifesteal combo that’s pretty good but I will occasionally dip into board wipe if my opponent is running a turtle strategy. I’ve also been known to splash boomerang attacks if I can spare the cards-”

“Why don’t we order!” Bede interrupted. He raised his menu dramatically and tried to flag down a server.

“Oh right. Sorry. Once I get started talking about Card Bark I never want to stop.” The Orchid Keeper looked down at her own menu.

“You don’t say.” Bede tried not to let her see him rolling his eyes.

“Do they have chicken fingers?” The Orchid Keeper scrolled down the menu with her finger.

Bede blinked a few times in astoundment. “We’re in the fanciest restaurant in the Kingdom. And you want to know if they have chicken fingers?”

“And tater tots.” The Orchid Keeper didn’t look up.

“And tater tots…” Bede tried to keep the shrill out of his voice.

#

“Look at them.” Vance craned his neck at the edge of the window. “Absolutely miserable. Bede always was terrible at small talk. And Privati hates it when she has to appear in front of crowds. They might be the two worst event liaisons in the entire world.” He didn’t even try to hide his enjoyment.

“That girl. She was in the summoning event we saw earlier wasn’t she?” Luke peeked across the street at the Orchid Keeper.

“That’s right. It’s part of their program. The winner of the Banner Event gets treated to a special meal with Lady House’s most mincing minions. That means Bede and Privati.” Vance gnawed on the end of a loaf of bread. “They take them out to eat. Get them drunk, distracted, then it’s back to the Gambling Hall to claim their winnings.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“That’s what makes it so insidious. The winner goes to claim their prize, never knowing that it's actually replaced by a skilled forger in the time between.” said Vance.

“Why would they bother replacing the item with a forgery?” Ash wandered up to the table.

Vance snapped the bread loaf in half. “It’s all about power. They keep all the truly interesting or unique items for themselves.”

“You know a whole lot about these people you dislike. Are you stalking them?” Ash asked.

“No, no, it’s not stalking. It’s observation. Like birdwatching. Only instead of birds it’s more like money sucking lampreys.”

“What’s a lamprey?” Ash asked.

“It’s a parasitic fish that attaches itself to a larger ocean predator to feed off of its blood. At least, that’s what I read.” said Luke.

“Parasitic is a good word for them.” Vance crumbled some bread in his hand. “But I’ve got the cure. I’ve got a plan. I’ll show them and their whole Gambling Hall, no, the entire city who’s licking who’s bootheel.”

Ash and Luke looked at each other.

#

Ave walked over and sat down at the table with Tasha. She set the briefcase on the table and scratched Eins behind the ears.

“Here is your water.” Ash put down some water glasses on their table.

“And here is your charcuterie.” Plinth set down a cheese plate right behind him.

Eins leapt up onto the table. The diminutive dog attacked the collected selection of choice cheeses with a harrowing hunger. The humans gathered around the table shielded their eyes from the carnage. One of Eins’ tiny legs kicked the water glasses over. Ave’s arm snapped out and caught the glasses just before they toppled over on the table. She righted the drinks and moved the briefcase from the table to the floor.

Tasha hauled the flailing Eins into her lap and tried to wipe the crumbs off of the dog’s mouth.

“What do you feed that dog?” asked Plinth.

“What do we feed him?” Tasha wondered.

Ash waved Plinth away. “He mostly eats people-food. It’s fine. He’s tougher than he looks. He’s got a stomach like a rock.”

“So what’s in the briefcase?” Tasha asked.

“It’s… I’m holding it for someone.” Ave looked around. “Are Ash and Luke working here?”

“That’s right.” Plinth nodded.

“How much are they getting paid?”

Plinth smoothed his apron. “They’re working for board. There are a lot of events coming up in the city during the next week. We thought it might be prudent to hire some helpers for a few days.”

“A place to stay in the city for a few days.” Ave tapped her fingers together. “Do you have any additional openings?”

“Heh heh.” Plinth chuckled.

Ave held his gaze.

“Uh, I’ll have to check.”

#

*Knock*Knock*

“Is this a restaurant?” asked a woman at the door.

Ash tripped in surprise. “Uh yes, it is.”

“Then I think I’m in the right place.”

The woman at the door was slightly taller than Ash. She wore a long leather riding jacket with boots, gloves, and skirt to match. Her venetian blonde hair curled around her ears and chin. She held a traveling case in one hand. Most notably she wore a backpack harness that wrapped around her shoulders and chest. There was a travel pack attached to the rear of the harness. On the front side, right next to her left shoulder, there was a longsword. The scabbard of the sword was attached so that it hung parallel to her body. The crossguard was pointed forward and back, with the metal plate hovering a centimeter over her left shoulder. The grip and pommel extended up into the edge of her peripheral vision. The woman didn’t seem to notice the sword or mind its weight.

The woman gave a small polite curtsey. “I’m Rosy. It’s nice to meet you. I’m in the middle of a career change. I’m here about the job.”

“I’ll let the manager know that you’re here. Why don’t you take a seat over there.” Ash pointed at the table where Vance was sitting.

#

Cophin watched Luke slice a tomato in the kitchen.

“Good. Nice even slices. Keep ya fingers curled parallel to tha blade so that you’re not cutting directly into ya own hand.” he said.

“Like this?” Luke demonstrated.

“That’s right. Ya actually pretty good at this. Ya sure you never had any training before?” Cophin started plating a variety of dishes. His movements were quick and precise. He skewered ingredients with his knives and pulled them to his cutting board like the claws of a praying mantis.

Luke concentrated on his task. “I never trained in a professional kitchen before. But I am experienced at obeying commands and performing repetitive tasks with very little explanation. Being your assistant is very similar.”

Plinth rolled over and leaned an elbow on the kitchen window. “How’s it going in here.”

“Not bad. Tha boy might make a decent Sous Chef yet.” Cophin nodded.

“That’s nice to hear.” Plinth drummed his fingers on the window sill. “Do we have any, additional openings?”

Ash jogged up. “You guys talking about the job? Cause there’s a woman that just walked in the door that wants an interview.”

Luke wiped his hands on his apron. “Actually I wanted to say something. Tasha’s carriage is in the repair shop if you had an extra space for her for a few days she, er, we would really appreciate it.”

Cophin’s cutting board stopped its chop-chopping.

“Are ya kidding me Plinth!? We started this morning as a two man operation. Now ya telling me ya want to bump it up to-” Cophin counted on his fingers. “To seven in under an hour!”

Plinth shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.

Cophin pressed against his temples with his fingers. “We only posted a job for one person!”

“I know. That’s what I’m here for.” Rosy called from the dining room.

“Next ya be telling me that the dog wants a job as well!”

“Do you have one for him?” asked Luke.

“Is anyone that walked in ta this supposed restaurant actually here ta order food!?” Cophin yelled.

“I told you one of everything!” Ash shouted back.