Everything I Got from Online Shopping Was Legit

Chapter 38: Machine Spirit’s Great Joy

Wasn’t this just asking for humiliation? If they didn’t say it, they would be called shallow. If they did, Miss Yuan would be offended again. It was difficult to handle.

Then, right on the spot, Miss Yuan announced her withdrawal from Yongjie’s Trident, saying that without her as the blade of the trident, the other two were nothing more than a stick, the stick of a lonely bachelor.

To this, Lin Mo and Zhang Wei showed not the slightest trace of regret in their eyes. What they had instead was hunger for food.

In the end, after finishing their meal, the three went their separate ways. Since they did not go for a ranked trio at the internet café after work today, it was still broad daylight when they returned.

Just as Lin Mo entered the community gate, he spotted Great Emperor He Qiang sneaking around at the back entrance, making a phone call. His face carried the distinct marks of five fingers, and his voice carried a sobbing tone:

“Mom, I need to discuss something with you. No, no, I’m not returning the goods. I just mean... if it really doesn’t work, can you take her back to your place for a couple of days?

Mm, yeah, I got beaten again.

These past two days she’s been beating me every day. I just like fishing, it’s not like I went whoring. Yet every time she beats me with my fishing rod, like she’s playing whack-a-mole.

I’m covered in injuries now, and the 600 yuan I secretly saved has all been confiscated.

Yeah, please take her back for a few days, Mom. I can’t hold out anymore!

Ah, okay! Thanks, Mom. I’ll wait for your message. Please hurry, best if you come today.”

After hanging up, He Qiang turned and saw Lin Mo watching him sympathetically not far away. His already flushed face grew even redder.

“Cough, cough, back already?”

“Mm, Brother Qiang, are you alright?” Lin Mo responded a little awkwardly.

It had to be said, that simple conversation already revealed plenty of information. No need to ask—he was clearly beaten by his wife.

Recently, he had been jumping back and forth on his wife’s trigeminal nerve too much. Don’t be fooled by his arrogance when fishing; once he returned home, it was a matter of life and death.

“Hah, what could possibly be wrong with me? After work, I go fishing. When I come back, I have a hot meal waiting. At home, my word is law.” Great Emperor He Qiang never admitted defeat in life—his mouth was the only truly tough part of him.

Hearing this, Lin Mo only smiled and nodded. Since the man did not want to say more, naturally he would not pry. Their relationship wasn’t that close; it was nothing more than a nodding acquaintance.

The two brushed past each other, but before Lin Mo had gone far, he vaguely heard the furious roar of He Qiang’s wife.

“Oh, so you dare call my mom to complain now, He Qiang? You’ve really grown guts, huh? Tonight when you come back, I’ll make sure you take my surname!”

Lin Mo: ...

For a middle-aged man like He Qiang, with a wife, a child, and a small supermarket at home, life was already complete.

His company’s mentor, Old Wang, had once said something very fitting:

‘They all look down on me, and I’m not capable enough to prove them wrong;

No one supports my lofty ambitions, and I can’t rise on my own;

Everyone laughs at me, and ironically, I’m the funniest of them all;

If I had even a little skill, I wouldn’t be completely useless.

Instead of forcing myself, I might as well give myself a break.’

It sounded like nonsense, and in truth, it was nonsense.

But it also perfectly reflected the attitude of some men in their thirties. What was the point of struggling anymore? This was life, being content and happy was enough.

And if one were still unmarried, life would be even freer.

When Lin Mo got home, since Miss Yuan had been quite upset today, gaming was clearly out of the question. He simply organized his belongings, tidied up the place, so he wouldn’t be scrambling if he really had to move out.

Meanwhile, Liu Rushuang was on a video call with Su He at home.

“Wow, your skin has improved even more noticeably than mine!”

“That’s because you were always fairer than me to begin with! My brother’s stuff really works wonders, though. No idea where he got it from.” Su He spoke while admiring herself in a small mirror.

Over the past two days, both she and Liu Rushuang had clearly noticed changes on their faces, leaving them somewhat incredulous.

“Who knows. But I do know someone paid a hundred thousand per bottle for this. You, as his cousin, don’t mind, but me? I’m just an outsider, taking such a good thing for free feels wrong. Tell me, does our little brother have any hobbies? I’d like to repay him with something.”

Liu Rushuang had been thinking for two days and still hadn’t figured out what to give. The simplest way would have been to give money directly, but since she hadn’t done it at the time, doing it now would be awkward. That was why she came to ask Su He, his cousin.

“What? A hundred thousand per bottle! Are you sure?” Su He was so shocked that she dropped the mirror in her hand, staring in disbelief. That honey-like liquid was worth a hundred thousand?

But thinking of its effects, perhaps it wasn’t unreasonable.

“Of course.”

Then Liu Rushuang recounted the incident with Yuan Meng and Yuan Meng’s mother.

“God, you old cucumber, why are you clinging to my brother? You scared me to death.”

“Hey, watch your words. I’m not clinging to your brother. And besides, you don’t even have a brother!”

Su He: ...

“Get lost. It’s all your fault. This thing is worth a hundred thousand. I can’t afford to use it. I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

“Come on, just admit it—does it smell good or not?”

“Good!”

“There you go. Don’t worry, I won’t let our brother suffer a loss. I’ll cover your share. Just tell me what Little Mo likes, so I can prepare something!” said Liu Rushuang.

She couldn’t let her best friend lose face for helping her out. Everyone in business knew that favors were the hardest to repay, while money was nothing. And for her, that money was no big deal.

“Then I won’t be polite, ha!”

Su He did not refuse either. If it had been her own item, she wouldn’t have accepted. But since it belonged to her cousin—and considering the price—she could only agree.

So the two continued their call while discussing what boys Lin Mo’s age usually liked.

Time flew by, and before they knew it, it was midnight. Lin Mo turned on his phone to prepare for today’s shopping.

【Mauser C96, collectible edition with stock; ￥8.53】

【Machine Spirit’s Great Joy: kowtow 99 times to any machine. From then on, worshipping machines will reduce malfunction rates and increase success rates; ￥9.99】

【Couples’ Underwear Blind Box, 20 pieces, clearance sale; ￥5.6】

【A bottle of 1982 Coke; ￥0.01】

Seeing this, Lin Mo couldn’t help blurting out:

“You mother...”

No other reason—today’s products were not only of mediocre quality, but also downright insulting.

He wouldn’t even drink 1982 Lafite, let alone 1982 Coke. Who came up with this? Did it not expire?

And couples’ underwear? He’d heard of couples’ outfits, but now even underwear came in matching sets?

As for firearms, he didn’t even bother looking at the first item anymore. The only one that caught his interest was the Machine Spirit’s Great Joy.

He couldn’t use it right now, but it was still a skill—and a powerful one at that.

But the prerequisite was to kowtow to a machine ninety-nine times. Kowtow! He hadn’t even bowed ninety-nine times at his own ancestral tombs.

What was this? Humiliation! A man’s knees were like gold. How could a dignified man kneel and kowtow to anything?

As the saying went, a true man lived between heaven and earth—how could he endure long under another’s power?

Moments later, the residents on the fifth floor below heard a series of dull thuds.

‘Dong... Dong... Dong...’

......