DxD: In Hentai World with No Logic

Which leaves me with the more base senses to rely upon, such as scent and hearing.

Funnily enough, sensing mundane people is almost like trying to sense an insect out of a hay field. 

I admit the way I put it sounds rather harsh, but that's the fact, considering how normal people practically lacks any kind of presence. 

In a way it's almost as hard as trying sensing a senjutsu user near you.

*Growl*

Enough of that; hunger calls.

I went into the kitchen, but before I reached the fridge I noticed a note was left on the dinner table under a small paperweight to keep the piece of paper in place. I calmly walked up to it and picked the note up.

"I wonder what this is about..." I asked myself in curiosity, before I opened up the folded note and started reading its contents.

Hello Son!

As you've probably noticed by now, your mother and I are currently away from home and you're likely wondering; "Oh lordy, where have my best of the best and most loving pair of parents ran off to!?" 

I let out a soft snort at the fair of dramatics. This was definitely my dad's handwriting.

But worry not! There's perfectly good reason for that! Your mom, you see; she has won in the FU*%&$NGHH—

I rose an eyebrow how the next word dad wrote (or attempted to) on the paper had been crossed out with a bunch of messy scribbling over it to basically censor the word out.

Sorry about that… your mom just pulled a ladle on me and forcefully crossed the cuss word out I wrote down… Such a overbearing moralist, your mother is…

I chuckled. Amen to that, dad.

Anyhow, before I got interrupted; your mother had won in a lottery! 

I blinked in open surprise, wait what?

I know right!? Can you believe it! A lottery! We're actually rich now, son!

"Well I'll be damned..." I murmured out loud, my eyes still wide. Could our life possibly get any better!? I shook my head to rid myself from the daze and continued reading.

So we had a talk and decided to follow upon your advice from few weeks back to "take some time for ourselves and go on a vacation or something" as you put it. 

Your mother always wanted to visit Hawaii so I decided to take us there. 

We'll be away for a month or so, so I'll leave the wellbeing of our home to your capable hands so try not to blow anything up while we're gone alright. ;)

I'll gotta go and finish packing. It's your mother's turn now.

Love you son, see you in a month!

I smiled softly at father's message, before my eyes trailed lower to read the mother's half of the message.

Dear Ise, this is your Mother speaking,

Remember if you're bringing any more girls to our house while we're gone; make sure you always CLEAN AFTER YOURSELVES! 

Whoa mom!? That's what you start with!?

Do you know how hard it is to get the stains, or worse the smell out of the sheets!? And by Mother of God please STOP doing it in my kitchen! The house is desecrated enough as it is!

[Hehe, I told you'd get busted one day.]

I had the tendency to feel a tad sheepish at my mom's exasperated message. But still was this a rant or a goodbye note!?

I skipped through most of the stuff mom wrote down, since most of it was indeed either ranting on my womanizing ways or playing the part of a worrywart, overprotective mother, before I got to the few last lines on the note.

I wanted to give you plenty of hugs and kisses, but your moron of a father decided to book the first flight in a same day, when I told him the news… I swear that man…

But hey! I made sure we didn't leave you empty handed before we left!

Oh?

There's a dinner for you in the fridge~!

Oh…

We also left a good heft of money from the lottery right into your account!

OH!

So try not to spend it all on a single sitting, alright? But knowing your picky spending methods, I doubt I need to worry about it do I?

Now, take care of yourself honey, stay safe and call us whenever you start feeling lonely or simply want to talk with us! Oh! And give my regards to Aika-chan~ 

I still don't get it, why you two won't just make it official without being stubborn about it…

Sorry mom, it's probably because your son is a hedonist bastard, who's just too damn stubborn to settle on a single pussy…

[Heh, Such is the dragon's libido. Ah, the good times...]

Tiamat.

[Horrible times!]

I snorted before reading the last bits of the note.

Anyhow, I also gotta go now.

With all the love and kisses (more than your dad❤)

Mom

"Geez, such irresponsible parents." Despite saying that I was smiling to myself the whole time as I stared down at the letter.

Despite their eccentric antics, they are literally the best kind of parents anyone could wish for. 

They already know I'm fully capable of taking care of myself, so no hard feelings or anything of sort at their sudden departing.

Also the reason I'm not feeling completely creeped out by mom's heart emojis nor the extra note on loving me more than dad, my unique situation considered, is simply because I know all the love she feels for me are purely familial in nature.

Which brings us to the third and last limitation (at least the last I'm aware of) regarding my pheromones; is that it doesn't affect blood relatives (thank God!)… 

So I never had to worry about either Dad pulling a baseball bat on me all of sudden, nor about mother wanting to jump my bones every minute… I shivered at the mere thought of the latter…

Sure while I still basically consider myself the sexual deviant of highest order; I still do have few morals left that I'd rather never cross.