Dirty Switch

chapter 52



“To Pyongyang?”

But, unusually, Seo Baekhan looked troubled.
This time, it wasn’t an answer Joo Taehyun had chosen to please Baekhan. It was just… practical. It wasn’t a villa—they’d be commuting between two separate residences. That was too much hassle, wasn’t it?
He himself had no absolute reason to stay in Seoul. On the other hand, Baekhan was returning soon and had said he planned to work in a research lab at Jejungwon. So wouldn’t it make more sense for at least one of them to live somewhere convenient? That was all he’d considered when he said it—nothing more.

There’s no way Baekhan hadn’t done the same mental math. So why was he reacting so awkwardly? Did Taehyun miss something? Retracing the subtext quickly, he found a plausible explanation.
“Ah, unless… unless you have someone. I mean, if there’s someone you’re seeing on the side…”
Why had he never considered this?

They were negotiating a marriage based solely on terms and conditions. A contractual arrangement from the start. When Baekhan had asked him if he was seeing anyone, why hadn’t he wondered the same about Baekhan?
Especially since Baekhan had a rather well-known history. Even if he made it clear from the beginning that things were just casual, he treated his girlfriends well. He might have changed partners often, but while they dated, he always seemed devoted. At least to a young Joo Taehyun watching from afar, that’s how it looked. If it weren’t for the comments from Choi Yeonjun and Joo Yoonwoo, he might’ve believed Baekhan had truly loved them.
Baekhan had always been kind—even to someone like him, with no real ties. Of course, if he had a girlfriend, he’d want to be even more thoughtful. After all, this marriage was just a contract. A male Alpha spouse couldn’t possibly interest him at all… That’s how Baekhan would comfort his actual partner, surely.

“It’s not that.”
Whether a sex partner or a girlfriend, didn’t their agreement require honesty about anyone they were seeing? Baekhan shook his head. So… that wasn’t it? Then it really meant there wasn’t anyone at all?
“Then why? I really don’t mind.”

Taehyun forcefully pulled down the corners of his lips, which were trying to curve upward against his will. Had his voice sounded too bright just now? Lately, he’d developed the habit of reviewing every word, every look, every tone he used around Baekhan.
He composed his expression quickly and glanced at Baekhan. Fortunately, it seemed Baekhan hadn’t noticed—he was still searching for the right words.
“Mm, Pyongyang people are a bit… Our house is sort of peculiar.”

Baekhan smiled faintly, clearly a little embarrassed to admit it.
“I don’t really like saying things like this, but—you know that super famous post? The one that says, ‘Anyone who marries Seo Baekhan should be ready to be bossed around by fifty million Pyongyang citizens’? It’s not even an exaggeration. What’s normal for you could easily become gossip over there.”
“Well, I do get photographed or filmed a lot—”

“Yeah, but it’s not at that level. Like, someone’ll say the spouse of Seo Baekhan went to eat somewhere in Pyongyang and handed over their card to the cashier in a weird posture, or they didn’t finish their food after ordering, or didn’t look like they enjoyed eating. You’ve never had your every move analyzed and criticized like that before.”
Taehyun had planned to avoid flashy logos, luxury watches, and only use domestic cars, but now he truly understood what Baekhan meant. He swallowed hard.
That kind of scrutiny… he had definitely underestimated.
“Someone like you, coming from outside and marrying into Pyongyang, might have to calculate and craft every single thing—your wardrobe, your gestures, your daily routine.”

In other words, Baekhan was saying that, unlike before, they wouldn’t be able to surround themselves with a dozen bodyguards or rely on legal teams to push back the intrusions.
“My base is Pyongyang, and I’m planning to work at Jejungwon anyway, but you—do you really need to live under that kind of constant observation? I know how carefully DH raised you.”
“…Mm.”

Taehyun made a vague hum in his throat. He knew he needed to be prepared, and yet—he still felt giddy. Just the fact that Baekhan was concerned about him made him happy. Wasn’t that… horribly immature?
“Don’t decide right away. Think it through carefully. We’ve got until next year anyway.”
And with that, Baekhan tapped the screen of his tablet. Inside his usual memo app, he opened a recently made, unnamed folder. A floor plan appeared, neatly drawn.

“I was thinking about the layout for the house. No matter where we live, it should be at least two stories. We can’t cram the entire master suite into one floor.”
Amazingly, it was a sketch of their future home—a home Baekhan had been quietly planning.
Wait, he’d even thought about this? Then again, it was Baekhan—he couldn’t settle for anything unless he verified every detail. Still, for something that was supposed to be a formal arrangement, seeing him plan this meticulously made Taehyun feel almost excited.

A newlywed home…
Just the word carried a ticklish kind of echo. It resonated so much more deeply for Taehyun than it did for Baekhan. But in front of him, he feigned indifference.
Taehyun, too, had once imagined what his ideal home might look like. He’d kept those thoughts to himself, worried Baekhan might hate them. But maybe, in this kind of atmosphere, it wouldn’t be so bad to bring them up.

Like a little table where they could drink tea together in a sunlit spot. Or a row of childhood photos arranged neatly above the cabinet… They were such simple things, really.
“We’ll definitely be using separate bedrooms. So it’ll be more convenient if each room has its own en suite bathroom and dressing room. If we also add personal studies, the layout starts to look like branches stemming from each bedroom.”
“Ah… Right, I guess that makes sense.”

It took less than a minute for his excitement to come crashing down.
Joo {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} Taehyun stared blankly at the floor plan—a newlywed home carved into cold, segmented pieces. Even dorm roommates felt closer than this. Still, he supposed it was good that Baekhan had at least thought of common areas like the living room and dining room.
“I’d prefer somewhere on higher ground. I’m not a fan of underground parking lots. So ideally, the garage would be technically underground but still above ground level—like a split-level 0.5 or 1st floor.”

“…Ah, I like that too.”
“And if possible, we should build a guest room in the basement.”
As Baekhan flipped to the next page, it was clear he’d put a lot of thought into how to use the basement space. Unlike the upstairs rooms, these lines weren’t as clean. One area was marked with a loose circle and the note: ‘Wine shelf?’ The question mark—Baekhan would probably roll his eyes at this—but for some reason, Taehyun found it oddly cute.

It felt like being hurled from Siberia straight into the Sahara. When he was with Baekhan, even the smallest things made him happy, and the tiniest things crushed him. Baekhan always stayed the same, but Taehyun—who had feelings for him—was busy ricocheting between heaven and hell.
Don’t let yourself get swept away. Just quietly, gently keep liking him until all this burns out. He made this promise again and again. But it never worked.
The real problem was that every time Baekhan let his guard down just a little, the bliss hit Taehyun like a drug—and he was getting used to it.

Before, he’d assigned meaning to Baekhan’s words on his own. But now, here they were, talking face to face about building a home together. And just like that, new desires started creeping in. Like how he found himself smiling at a clumsy little question mark that didn’t even suit Baekhan.
Even though he knew perfectly well—Baekhan hadn’t actually given him anything.
“If you do end up seeing someone—partner, lover, whatever—I’d prefer you bring them home instead of going to a hotel. It’s safer that way.”

And just like always, Baekhan didn’t let him float too long. Just as Taehyun’s heart had started lifting at the idea of their shared home, it came crashing back down. Did he do this on purpose? As if to remind him, Don’t forget. This isn’t love. We’re not getting married because we can’t live without each other.
Yeah. Taehyun felt it again—being happy didn’t mean things were peaceful or comforting. Every time Baekhan scorched his insides like a branding iron, all Taehyun could think was: At least I’m with him. At least I get to hold on.
“…Still, calling someone to the house might make them uncomfortable.”

“If they’re sleeping with a married man, they should expect as much. Don’t you think?”
“I mean… I guess.”
“I’m not going to say anything about having dinner with someone. If they’re also an Alpha and a man, even if it’s a date for you, it might be hard for others to nitpick. But, Taehyun—no hotels.”

Baekhan said it gently, like a parent scolding a sulking child.
“Have sex at home. Don’t give anyone a reason to accuse you—or us—of something scandalous. Got it?”
“…Yeah.”

“Good. Cheating isn’t allowed.”
Taehyun only nodded vaguely, eyes drifting far away.
Don’t cheat, huh? Even though he wouldn’t care if I bottomed for another Alpha, or topped someone else, or rolled around with whoever…

Suddenly, the location of their newlywed home didn’t matter anymore. Separate bedrooms? Separate lives? That was all fine now.
Taehyun. If marriage was ever just about that kind of reason, I’d be seriously disappointed in you. Really disappointed.
But for the first time, it hit him—he’d done something terrible. The lie about seeing someone else, and the lie about being fine with Baekhan doing the same, had become a trap of his own making. He had no one else to blame. It was a snare he’d built himself.

“Oh, right. That Dirty Switch you said you took.”
“Huh? Oh… yeah.”
“What did it feel like?”

Baekhan’s neutral tone nearly made Taehyun cough, but he swallowed it down. It wasn’t condemnation or suspicion—he seemed genuinely curious.
Still, why was he suddenly bringing up the Switch? Was it just because they’d been talking about partners?
“Even within the U.S., some states classify it as a narcotic and others don’t… So I’ve been wondering what symptoms it actually causes. What kind of effects it has.”

So what, do you think you can even take a dick, let alone a finger? Spread it more.
Yes, Taehyun understood. Baekhan’s main concern with the Switch was its pharmacological effects. He wanted to make it legally available, yes, but more than that, he wanted to modify it—make it safe, usable, and effective for its intended purpose.
The problem was him—Joo Taehyun. He was the one projecting that hallucinated night onto Baekhan’s question. Just hearing Baekhan say “Switch” brought back that humiliating memory he’d tried so hard to bury, along with a wave of guilt.

Even though he knew Baekhan was speaking as a researcher—a man who’d written countless academic papers—his throat felt constricted. He’d managed to keep his expression neutral when Baekhan brought up partners and affairs. But now, when asked about his experience with the Switch, he couldn’t help but bow his head.
“If it’s strong enough to be called a narcotic… then does it cause hallucinations? Or like, make you feel… different somehow? Specifically, how does it feel different?”


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