Dirty Switch

“Well, you know more about drugs than I do, don’t you, hyung? It’s your field.”

Joo Taehyun awkwardly tried to hide his discomfort and glanced around the inside of the Haechi lounge, subtly implying—Is this really the kind of place we should be talking about Switch? It was one of the nonverbal cues he’d learned by watching Seo Baekhan closely over the past few months of growing closer after the proposal.
“In theory, maybe. But that’s not really what I’m curious about.”
But when Taehyun trailed off, it only seemed to pique Baekhan’s interest in the Switch further. That faint peach scent of his, usually too subtle to detect unless they were very close, suddenly washed over Taehyun, and he had to hold his breath for a moment.

“In Alphas, if you take the Switch right before sex, the body lubricates like an Omega’s.”
Baekhan glanced at him sideways, as if demanding confirmation—Does your body do that too?
Fortunately, Taehyun had grown just familiar enough with him to pretend to listen calmly.

“That’s the widely known function of the Switch. I understand the Dirty line mixes that with an aphrodisiac.”
Of course, outwardly he looked composed, but internally Taehyun was screaming. Aphrodisiac? So that’s why his body reacted the way it did. Seeing those ridiculous hallucinations, suddenly feeling desperate to shove something inside himself…
“You want me to put it in, don’t you?”

Raising his ass without shame for Baekhan—no, for a hallucination of Baekhan…
“They say mixing the aphrodisiac with certain compounds in the Switch can trigger narcotic-like effects.”
Like hell he would’ve known that. But one thing was clear: Joo Taehyun had never, not once in his life, wanted to get fucked by another Alpha.

Even after realizing he liked Baekhan, it wasn’t like that. He just wanted to be closer to him. To talk more. To get rid of all the annoying people and be alone with him. To know what it felt like to hold his hand. His desires had always been that simple.
But the Dirty Switch—he’d only taken it once, and it had awakened some lowly desire he hadn’t even known he had.
The most provocative hallucination he saw while under the drug’s influence had been Seo Baekhan. And only in that state had he finally admitted it—an old, buried wish he hadn’t even let himself know existed.

“Oh, right. That Dirty Switch you said you took. What was it like?”
So now, with the real Seo Baekhan asking about it, Taehyun couldn’t help but relive that memory—no matter how hard he’d tried to forget it.
“Then… you take it during ruts too, right? Is it different then?”

“I… I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done that before.”
The hallucinated Baekhan who had whispered about sticking it in—he kept overlaying himself over the real man sitting in front of him.
“Yeah, Dirty’s the real problem. You can’t tell what’s in it since it’s underground, and you never know what kind of symptoms will show up.”
He hadn’t even seen Baekhan’s face clearly that night. All he remembered was the low voice coaxing him to act. That filthy memory stirred something in him again, making his hips tense instinctively. Thank god he was sitting down—at least Baekhan couldn’t see that pathetic reaction.

“That’s why there’s such a push to establish an international standard for Switch. So it can be used only for its intended purpose and… Never mind. This isn’t something I should be dragging you into.”
Baekhan straightened up from the sofa, taking back the test results Taehyun had handed him.
“Anyway, the one you took—”

His eyes stopped on the photo of the Dirty Switch Taehyun had attached to the front of the report. Baekhan glanced at him, maybe to read his reaction, his fingers casually tapping the table. It all brought back that reckless night months ago—how easily he’d swallowed that damn pill.
“…Well, it’s too…”
But Baekhan flicked the photo like he was swatting away a fly, like he was scolding Taehyun’s indecent fantasies.

That was all.
Baekhan returned to the version Taehyun knew best—mild, lukewarm, no longer interested, no longer curious.
The test result he’d brushed away now lay abandoned, like the final fate of someone who’d lost Baekhan’s attention.

Unlike just moments before, it was Taehyun who now felt restless over Baekhan’s indifference.
Too… what?
Too weak for a Dirty Switch? Not potent enough to be worth taking? So why did I even bother?

Joo Taehyun bit back the questions bubbling up inside. There were only so many answers he could give, and maybe that was what Baekhan was aiming for—waiting for Taehyun to crack and volunteer more on his own.
“…It produces a more immediate response. The Dirty Switch.”
As always, it was Taehyun who surrendered first. This was the first time someone he loved had come to him with genuine curiosity—how could he ignore that?

“An immediate response?”
“Yes. Once you take it… you feel good. Right away. And then…”
Baekhan didn’t press him. He just stared, quietly watching Taehyun fumble for words.

“…You get wet, and… you just feel like you have to do something. Right then and there.”
It probably sounded vague to Baekhan, but Taehyun had no choice. He’d never taken a °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° regular Switch, and he’d never had sex. This was all he had. He didn’t know how else to describe it.
“…That’s all.”

“Hm.”
Surprisingly, Baekhan responded calmly. Just a low hum in his throat, like he’d expected as much.
Flustered by his indifference, Taehyun tried to think of something else to say—something that wouldn’t reveal how he’d fantasized about him…

“Uh…”
He chewed his lower lip hard, struggling to suppress the wave of embarrassment that suddenly overtook him.
You’ve already told him what he wanted to hear. He’s not disappointed in you. So why are you scrambling to come up with more, trying to stay in his good graces?

“Do you have… any other questions? Or is that enough?”
“Hm. It’s pretty much what I expected.”
“…Oh.”

“Stimulates the central nervous system, impairs impulse control, increases fluid production… all textbook. Let me know if you ever use it during a rut.”
Fuck. So I take one damn pill and now I’m a full-on degenerate?
Taehyun swallowed the curses he never said in front of his family—or Baekhan—and glared at the test result for no good reason.

Baekhan was just listing clinical observations. But still, his unused entrance was twitching, unbidden. When Baekhan asked about the Switch, it was frustrating. But now that he didn’t care anymore, it was worse.
Is this what it’s like to like someone? Emotional whiplash, unpredictable thoughts—I don’t even know myself anymore. Is it because I’m in a one-sided love, or because the person I fell for is too unreachable?
This is all that fucking Dirty Switch’s fault. At this point, I’m starting to wonder if the effects are still lingering.

Baekhan had always been difficult. But after that weird experience, he started haunting him in even stranger ways.
“You said you’ve only slept with a few of your bodyguards, right?”
“…Yes. I mean—yeah.”

“Then they probably didn’t ask you to take the drug. And you’re not seeing anyone right now, right? So your last time having sex was… oh. When you took the Switch.”
Baekhan stroked his chin with his thumb and index finger thoughtfully, then returned the test result to Taehyun.
“Got it. I’d rather you avoid Dirty Switch in the future, but… I’ll trust you to manage it. Just keep me updated. Who you’re seeing, what you’re taking.”

He began gathering the tablet and phone from the table, as if ready to leave. That was it for today, apparently. At least it didn’t feel like an interview this time—maybe that meant they’d made progress.
“Next time, we’ll finalize the press release, and draft the personal contract between you and me—aside from whatever the adults are discussing.”
“Yes.”

Just like always, Baekhan turned his back with a quick “good work”—but then paused, remembering something, and flicked his fingers at Taehyun.
“Taehyun.”
His long fingers—thicker at the joints than they looked—gently tapped the corner of Taehyun’s lips.

“You know you have a mole inside your lower lip?”
“…Huh?”
“When you bite your lip hard like that, it shows. Kinda sexy, honestly.”

So, if you get pissed off again, quit biting your lip. Baekhan winked exaggeratedly—first one eye, then the other, like a mischievous kid playing around.
“See you next time. Tell your folks I said hi. Oh—I'll send you a list of reputable hospitals. Go whenever it’s convenient.”
…What the hell.

Why would you say something like that about biting my lip?
Taehyun sat there for a long time, staring at Baekhan’s retreating figure. He didn’t slow down. Didn’t look back. Didn’t hesitate.
Even after Baekhan was gone, Taehyun remained frozen in place. His lower body felt embarrassingly swollen down one thigh, and there was no way he could stand up like this.

Even his indirect comment about the lip-biting habit—pointing out Taehyun’s lack of expression control—had him flustered to the point of collapse.
***
And at twenty-two—

“Hello.”
With about a month left before the wedding, Seo Baekhan came to greet Taehyun’s family for the first time.