Vol 3 Ch 43: Sarian Bickering
I heard a strange yet familiar sound. It sounded like those junkshooters they called guns. A splurt of blood appeared to the side of tomato goddess’ head and she fell to the ground causing her skill to fail.
“It seems I was on time. It’s good to see your race is still alive. I hate this bitch just like you.”
Uh oh, it’s noob god, talking about a ‘Deus ex Machina’.
Why does he look so casual?
We got saved but I don’t think this is good.
Noobgod appeared with a strange mechanical floating vehicle and his junk shooter. Smoke was coming out of the junk shooter.
So, this is why they were trying to not draw attention.
“What are you talking about?” Noobgod walked over to us and pointed his junk shooter at tomato goddess who was getting up.
“Ugh, Wyxyxozyas, stay out of this, I’m procuring the materials needed to continue my coat collection.”
Wait? Your name is whats-his-name-ias? Hahaha why not a normal name like ehh Walter!
“Silence! My name is in fact Walter!”
Then why did she call you who-remembers-that-name-ias.
“It’s Wyxyxozyas! Ouch my head! But you can call me Walter!”
Tomato goddess smiled. “Ah right, you got banned from using that name, you’re just as that furball said, a noob god, now scram, you’re in the way of my project.”
“You had more than enough, leave these guys alone. I could use them to kick your ass though.”
Uhm you’re not using anyone, how about we kick your ass first and then kick their asses.
“You say that because you know nothing about her, this bitch is crazy strong.” Noobgod fired more junk at Tomato goddess
“Oh, yes! Tell them how amazing I am! I’m willing to wait till you tell them about my glory!”
I am interested in your ehm magnificence! I would like to hear about your greatness!
Hey Greg what are you doing?!
Shut up Raishin he is buying time!
“I can hear you, you pests! Go on Walter! Tell them!”
I sat down and let my tails run simulations. I needed to poison this Noobgod again and then scare this bitch off. So, if they give us story time it will work out for us. They think they can probably wipe us out at any time, and they probably can, so that’s why they’re so relaxed.
We don’t have much choice but to listen to them but who knows maybe it has some clues
“Well let’s skip the boring part and start with why this bitch is so annoying and needs to die.”
“How about you start with how you lost your name and had to walk around with that powerless name of ‘Walter’ I’m sure these furballs will enjoy it more.”
“How about I start with how you destroyed my nation and set the technology back to the stone ages!”
I took out some popcorn and shared it with my buddies while the 2 gods were arguing.
It seems they have a long history.
They are gods after all. Do you have sweet popcorn?
I took sweet popcorn out for Raishin.
“It is you who started it with your stupid mechanical toys! You even wanted to wipe out magic from the whole planet! So, I had to beat your noob ass up and wipe out any trace of those nonsensical trash off the planet!”
“It’s because you and your stupid magic was exhausting useful resources!” Noobgod was getting worked up.
“Oh, and digging up all that metal and electronium is not exhausting useful resources? What a joke! You’re even worse than me! Moreover, due to your technology the mortals became arrogant and challenged the gods! They had to be put down!”
“How am I worse? You led a genocide against multiple races because they either didn’t bow down to you, had abilities that were strong against you or that sycophant god, or you wanted their fur. And these guys there fit the category of 2 or 3 of those criteria! Your ego led to the destruction of many races; do you even know what their role is?”
“To be annoying and become part of my wardrobe. Anyone who fails to bow down to me is better off dead. You are well aware of that.”
I thought they would tell us a story but they’re just bickering.
Shht, this might be quite useful and interesting.
“Where is that loser boyfriend of yours anyways? Oh wait! He got sealed away by a witch! Hahahaha!” Noobgod seemed to find this extremely funny. I wonder who is going to tell him…
“Ha! I will have you know that these furballs have broken out my pet. Although that 9 tailed furball has returned so Zax probably has made a fool of himself.”
Noobgod looked at us. “Wait? You broke out that sycophant?”
Uhh, that was an accident, we had no fucking clue what we were doing, continue arguing, it was getting interesting.
“Anyways since he is not here, he must not have been useful to you, you look quite beat up for someone who’s supposed to be the goddess of beauty hehe.”
“Shut up Walter or I will kill you again!”
“Hah, good luck! I won’t stay dead!”
“You should have been the god of cockroaches and not the god of science.”
“And you should have been the goddess of pettiness!”
“I am not petty!” Tomato goddess was doing her name justice and turning redder and redder.
“Oh really? You sealed the witch that sealed your pet god, you sealed various nine tailed spirit foxes that you couldn’t beat, you led several genocides against those who could oppose you, races you deemed ugly and the list goes on, I would say you are the only one fit to be the goddess of pettiness!”
“Hah! How about that bitch Chiara! She ruined my coat because she was jealous!”
“You do know that Chiara was fond of the races you had wiped out right? Don’t you think it’s a coincidence that she beats you up whenever you appear with a new coat?”
Ooh some more lore.
This would be a great time to sneak away but this is kinda interesting.
I agree.
“She is jealous that I have nice clothing while she is stuffed in that strange spatial room of hers.”
“Well unlike you, most other Sarian gods and goddesses actually do their job!”
“I thought she was the goddess of space time and infinity not goddess of the bitches.”
“Well since she can kick your ass and bend you to her will she might actually be the goddess of bitches, you can’t do anything against her after all!” Noobgod was laying down the verbal hurt.
“I will overtake her in power soon enough, what can she achieve in that strange room of hers?!”
“I don’t know? Keeping the fabric of our dimension from completely disintegrating? Trying to get back the races that have been cast into the void because your magic kept ripping it apart!”
“There is no proof that magic is responsible for that! You know that as well as I do!” And she got even redder than before. I wonder how red her face can get.
“That doesn’t change that she has her hands full on making sure even your ugly mug has a place to stay!”
Noobgod and tomato goddess were getting more and more worked up during this exchange. I noticed movement in the cage where Zack was passed out. I hope he won’t disturb this educational argument.
I heard a loud yell from the distance. “I will kill that asshole!”
Hey, tomato goddess, your pet is awake.
A flaming ball rushed at me and it got blasted by a strange weapon of Noobgod and a [Lightbeam] of tomato goddess.
“Zax, stay put, we can wipe out these 3 furballs later on I have beef with this Noobgod.”
Heh, glad you like that name.
“Shut up furball! I will have to find a way to change that personality of yours after I catch you, I can’t have you breed more annoying pups.” Tomato goddess pointed her tomato finger at me.
“I won’t allow you to hurt these races more!” Noobgod pointed his junk shooter at Zack and a bigger one at tomato goddess.
“Uh, Honey? What’s going on? And is it true what that furball told me? Did you let him into your treasure room?”
“My treasure room?” She focused on me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him this. She approached me.
“How do you know about that?!” She instantly appeared in front of me and picked me up by my throat and held me in the air. She was pissed. If glares could kill, I would have lost a life by now.
I was just joking, but to think you have a trophy room, who would have known?
“Zax doesn’t lie! Spit it out furball or do I need to pull a tail out first? And wait! What are these stacks of [Biian’s Judgement]? So, it was you who was wiping out my cute believers!” She started pulling on one of my tails. She was freakishly strong. I heard the junkshooter sound but a [Light barrier] blocked it.
“Spit it out!”
Owowowow! Ok! I will! Leave my tail out of it!
I glanced at a blob of metal that laid on the floor.
You left a window open in Boshi town!
I swapped myself with the metal blob but she instantly grabbed me again. Why is this bitch only superfast when she’s super pissed?
She crushed my throat depleting one of my lives. It regenerated so I was still getting grabbed by my throat.
You like… warm coats, right? How about this.
It was hard to breathe but I’m familiar with oxygen deprived environments. I wrapped my tails around the tomato goddess.
“Ohh, this is the highest quality of fur I’ve encountered in a long time.”
Normally I use [Vaporize] with just my finger but this will be a full body… full tail [Vaporize]. And she did vaporize, freeing myself. Light motes appeared and grew and eventually pieced her back together.
“What?! Window? So, it was you who freed that bitch?!”
Who are you referring to? Azure Mist or Norya Mikazuki?
“Aaagh!” She clutched her head. Noobgod tried to take this chance to shoot at her but Zack body blocked it and melted a metal blob that flew at him. So that’s where that metal blob came from.
“Ugh, I remember now! So, it was you freed both of those bitches? You’re so lucky that I need you alive! I would have loved to kill you while pulling out your tails one by one!” I looked up and the clouds above us seemed very heavy. Thanks to Zack evaporating all that water we will have some rain soon.
“Zax change of plans, we’re leaving, we can catch these furballs at any time, those 2 bitches are free and we’re close to Neia’s territory, I don’t want to pull my hairs out from stress fighting them!”
Noobgod looked at me. “You seem to be a good representation of your race; it’s refreshing to see how well you can piss her off. So do you want to join me in killing her and wiping out magic from this world?”
Pass
“This is an offer from a god, you can’t refuse!”
So, then it’s not an offer then if I can’t refuse…
“Annoying indeed.” He pointed one of his junk shooters at me and shot me in the head. It was too abrupt to anticipate. I had already lost 3 lives and none of them were spectacular…
Ugh, asshole.
“Good to know you have more than one life, now let’s destroy these assholes.”
You will regret this.
It started to rain.
“Ugh, my coat is getting ruined. You’re making this hard for me Walter! Fuck off or I will kill you!”
I went 9t mode. Space started to bend and time started to glitch. I sped up the time on the rain so it started to stream down. Greg was freaking out but that was not my problem. I disconnected from the air leyline currents and used the biggest [Tsunami] I could muster.
“He has learned this from that bitch! Zax! Do something!”
I threw an [Azure Spear] at Zack and impaled his torso to the ground making him unable to move.
Greg, I’m going to be super reckless! Protect yourself!
Greg pulled in Raishin and went super defensive.
I drew a rune on myself. Astimi Agnis!
I turned into fire and the whole area got blasted by the fire. Zack seemed to also be burning and it was hurting him. But this wasn’t the reason why I did this. This state temporarily boosted my fire affinity to the moon. And this is what I needed because I used the strongest [Meteor] I could muster before the effect wore off.
The clouds parted and revealed an enormous fireball that covered the sky as far as we could see. I chugged an anti-nausea potion and used [Azure Mist] the moment it crashed down upon us.
I don’t expect to kill them with this. But [Azure Mist] acts like a boogeyman against gods. I heard tomato goddess screaming for Zack. The Noobgod was also grunting as he got blasted by a buffed [Meteor] strength class skill. And they fled soon after. This [Meteor] was uncontrolled and it was so strong that I took damage from it. But it was worth it. I was sitting on the bottom of a gigantic crater with some minor burn wounds. The impact had sent me flying and my body hurt. I walked over the lava toward a strange black crystal dome.
It had various cracks in it and it shattered shortly after. A layer of shadows disappeared and I used [Frost Cloak] on my sweating buddies. Greg normally uses at least 5-7 layers of protection in cases like these. The fact that I broke 6 of them means that I should be very careful with these stunts.
Are they gone?
Yes, I don’t know for how long…
I was quite tired from fighting gods and my buddies were also exhausted. We had fought and survived an encounter of 3 gods. I wonder how this would have ended if I didn’t know how to use [Azure Mist]
Was that Azu’s custom skill [Azure Mist]?
Yeah. That was the only way I could see us getting out of this alive.
I confirmed that the gods were gone and canceled my 9t mode.
That was cool! But can you give us a bit more time next time?
Sorry about that…
What do we do if they come back?
Probably run away.
I wish I could have heard more about that history but I guess they won’t just tell us.
Well, it seems there is a goddess that knows about this spatiotemporal stuff but she’s too busy making sure our dimension doesn’t unravel or something. Also, what Noobgod said concerns me. About magic tearing the fabric of space…
We will need more sources to confirm or deny that but it is concerning yes.
We were too tired to move a lot so we relaxed in this crater. The lava had cooled down and hardened so it was safer for my buddies.
“You didn’t think we would let you off so easily, do you?”
Greg blocked a [Light wave] with [Shadow wall] and I blocked a [Flame Wave] with a [Frost Wall].
Ugh, who-cares-about-his-name-ias was right, you are petty!
I dodged a metal blob flying at me.
“The name is Wy… Walter! If you don’t want to come with me willingly, I will have to take you by force! And bitch?! I declare war on you!” Noobgod said as he pointed his smoking junkshooter at tomato goddess.
“Well, isn’t that convenient? That means I don’t have to declare war on you.”
Guys, isn’t this bad?
So about you guys babysitting me for a change, this would be the perfect time.
Maybe another time Agnis…
Can you go 6t mode Raishin?
Yeh.
Now would be nice to go for it.
A mana burst went out as Raishin went 6t mode. Large tiger clouds appeared and they started sparking black lightning.
“Oh shit! I forgot about this race!” What-was-his-name-ias turned around and took some distance.
Black lightning started raining down as Raishin prepared his [Fusionado], he did launch Zack with an [Updraft] first though.
Wait, this is not his [Fusionado]! This is his [Fusionhurricanado]!
And what the fuck is that supposed to be?
Fusionado but 10 times stronger.
Uhh is that safe for us?
For me? Nope. For you? Maybe? Would not recommend.
I grabbed Greg and chain teleported away. Zack was being an ass but I could take his fire attacks. I kept throwing [Frost Mirrors] to deflect the light attacks Biian threw at Raishin and Greg also absorbed the light attacks.