Accountant Isekai

King Eduard the Defenestrator sat on his throne, heavy lines in his eyes from lack of sleep. Tiredness assailed his body. Queen Eleanor was in another part of the castle, overseeing maintenance. Numerous reports and documents were in front of King Eduard. One of the monarch's hands was lifting a piece of paper while the other was clenched so hard it was pale.

"More reports of these bandits and floodings, but none of them have been captured," he noted. "Is there any good news?"

"We managed to kill a few of them," a knight in front of the monarch said.

"That's better than nothing, but not good enough," King Eduard stated.

He stood up, a grimace on his face.

"Double our patrols," the king ordered.

"But Your Majesty, we've already more than doubled them!" another knight objected. "The palace is vulnerable!"

"I will handle any threats to the palace," King Eduard said. "I will not accept bandits raiding Greenrivers or orphanages being flooded. Now, go."

Without hesitation, the knights moved out to follow their king's orders. King Eduard stood up and started walking to his castle's courtyard.

"Perhaps I need some fresh air?" the monarch thought. "No. I got enough of that when I was out in the field. I wasn't able to do enough to stop these bandits, and I've stayed away from the palace for too long."

The monarch passed by a row of statues. One of them looked just like him while the older sculptures were different. When he got to the oldest, it wore a toga. King Eduard looked over them.

"I wonder what my ancestors are thinking now? Their descendant obtained eternal youth, something they would have killed for, and is turning their kingdom into a true empire. Just for someone to start drowning orphans. King Forgath probably wouldn't care. King Dietrich would likely be disappointed. King Bjorn III is probably trying to break down the gates of the afterlife to help me."

Eduard kept walking. He eventually entered the courtyard. It had a beautiful garden in it, decorated with flowers from all over Greenrivers. A golden fountain stood in the center. Plants with glowing orbs on their stalks kept the courtyard lit even at night. The king looked up, seeing the stars and moon shining above.

"The gods sent this trial my way for a reason. I will trust in their will," King Eduard thought.

"Boom, baby!"

A voice shouted. King Eduard jumped to the side, dodging an attack with a trident that slammed into the ground. Plants and dirt splashed everywhere from the shockwave. Eduard's sword was drawn in a second, defending him from a thrust from the trident. His opponent jumped back and landed on the roof of a building in the courtyard.

"It has been a while since an assassin came to kill me," King Eduard spoke before thinking. "He must be quite clever to have gotten past Duke Armand's schemes."

The man on the roof flourished his trident.

"I'm no assassin, baby! I'm Laestrygon, son and Saint of Poseidon!" he declared.

"There is no god called Poseidon," King Eduard replied with anger in his voice. "And the penalty for trying to kill the king is being hung, drawn, and quartered. The penalty for impersonating a saint is defenestration."

"That don't matter, baby, you're gonna die here!" there was a wide smile on Laestrygon's face. "When I was a little kid, my daddy asked me what I wanted to be. And I said: I wanna be bad, daddy, real bad!"

King Eduard sighed.

"Why do I always get the insane assassins?" he wondered.

"And I am bad, real bad! That's why I flooded those orphanages, baby!" Laestrygon declared.

King Eduard the Defenestrator's exhaustion faded like a puddle in the desert.

"You flooded them?" a cold anger flowed through the monarch's body.

"That's right, baby!" Laestrygon grinned widely.

"Why?" King Eduard asked.

"Because it was fun, baby!"

"Do you really think I'd believe such a blatant lie?" the monarch scoffed. "No one would find drowning orphans fun."

Laestrygon kept his smile.

"I do, baby! I'm bad, real bad, baby!"

King Eduard's eyes narrowed.

"You will tell me who ordered you to kill those orphans," he said.

"No one did! It was all my idea!" Laestrygon hooked a thumb at his chest.

The monarch raised his hand, palm open. Lightning charged in it.

"I will have the truth from you, one way or another," King Eduard stated.

"Too bad, baby! 'cause I got some new tricks!"

Water formed around Laestrygon's feet. It boosted his speed. When Laestrygon moved, there was a crack as he broke the sound barrier. And he only sped up from there.

Laestrygon jumped from rooftop to the ground to the side of the castle wall to rooftop and back again. To a normal person, he moved so fast that he was invisible.

Someone with Gustav's level of enhanced vision would see a parade of afterimages. More than that, they'd see afterimages with afterimages. And afterimages of the afterimages' afterimages. And afterimages that have afterimages on their afterimages' afterimages.

King Eduard saw no afterimages. His eyes were locked on Laestrygon's true body. The demigod jumped into the air, moving over the monarch. Water wrapped around Laestrygon's arms to increase the speed of his trident.

"Take this, baby! Thousand afterimage strike!" he shouted.

Laestrygon thrust his trident down with enough force to turn a tank into a coin smaller than a dime. He moved so fast that...no, I already described his speed. You don't need to hear about it again.

Anyway, King Eduard grabbed Laestrygon's trident with one hand. It stopped dead in its tracks.

Laestrygon planted his legs on King Eduard's arms. He yanked his trident back as hard as he could. It wouldn't budge a single millimeter. Fear slowly flowed through the demigod. An 'oh, shit!' look crossed his face.

"Maybe we could talk about this, baby?" Laestrygon asked.

King Eduard grabbed his sword by the blade and slammed its guard into Laestrygon's gut. The demigod went flying into the air. Eduard jumped up after him, moving higher than Laestrygon was. Then, he shot a blast of wind point-blank into the demigod.

Laestrygon crashed to the ground like a comet. King Eduard summoned a magical shield below him. When the demigod collided with it, there was a cracking sound as every single bone in his body shattered.

King Eduard landed on the ground and released the shield. Laestrygon fell to the ground. The monarch saw that the demigod was unconscious but still breathing.

Then, a group of guards ran into the courtyard.

"Your Majesty! We heard a commotion!" one of them called out.

They saw part of the courtyard destroyed and King Eduard standing over Laestrygon's unconscious body.

"I was merely dealing with this piece of human refuse," King Eduard explained. "Put him in magical bindings and take him to the torture chamber. We are going to thoroughly question him later."

A few days later, in Vandalland, Queen Hildoara was sitting in her castle's great hall. Numerous knights and nobles lined the halls. In front of the monarch was a group of men and women in the fanciest clothes money could buy. It was all feathers, black and gold silk, and countless bits of jewelry. They had smiles on their faces. Queen Hildoara gave them a polite smile back.

"Welcome to my palace in Vandalland. I am honored to receive dignitaries from Motteburh," she said.

"The honor is ours," one of the women replied. "I'm certain that we can relate over a few things."

Hildoara kept up her smile.

"They had a woman speak first. This was intentional. They think that a woman might be able to get me to agree with something better than a man can," she thought.

"Then, tell me what you need," Hildoara said.

"This is about the alliance you have with Greenrivers and Weltai," the woman stated.

"It is no alliance. We are cooperating on one small issue."

"Of course, Your Majesty. But you are cooperating with two of the four major powers on the continent. And Vandalland is a third major power. I believe you can understand the issue."

Hildoara nodded.

"If relations sour between Motteburh and Greenrivers, Weltai, or Vandalland, they might have to deal with all three of them. I can understand why they'd be nervous," she thought before speaking. "What do you want, then?"

"From one woman to another, I request that you end your cooperation with Greenrivers and Weltai," the emissary said.

The people in the room didn't even have time to react before Hildoara responded.

"No."

The emissary blinked in shock.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I already signed the treaty with King Eduard the Defenestrator and Voivode Dalv Sepet," Hildoara answered. "Whether I'm a man or a woman has nothing to do with it. I am a monarch. And any monarch who does not keep their word is nothing more than a base tyrant."

An air of coldness came over the room. It flowed out of the emissaries. Their smiles faded.

"Listen here..." the woman started.

"You will not give me orders," Hildoara interrupted her.

The emissary clenched her teeth so hard they cracked.

"Do you really think you can trust Greenrivers or Weltai? They will betray you the first chance they get!" she declared.

"Voivode Dalv Sepet is not the sort of man who would betray this sort of agreement. He would not be a saint of Krewh if he would. As for King Eduard, this agreement benefits him and his kingdom as much as it does me and Vandalland. He's a monarch with ambitions of conquest, but he will act in the best interest of Greenrivers," Hildoara pointed out.

The emissary looked down on Hildoara. It was the way an adult looked down on a child who spoke out of turn.

"Then, allow me to deliver my demands: break your deal with Greenrivers and Weltai, or else," she said.

"Or else what?" Hildoara asked.

"We will write you a very angry letter," the emissary answered.

The monarch blinked in shock.

"That's it?" she asked.

"You have two of the three powers on your side. There isn't much else we can..." the emissary shook her head. "I mean, no, that's not it! Of course, not!"

"The answer is no," Hildoara said.

"Please," another emissary spoke up.

"No."

The emissaries huddled together for a moment. One of them cast a spell to keep anyone from listening in on their conversation. However, Hildoara's magic broke through their barrier.

"What should we do? We thought she'd fall for that!" an emissary said.

"It seems that Hildoara is a true adult and not just some naive child," another replied.

"Those damn Vandalland bastards, forcing their children to mature quickly!"

"Whatever the case may be, that does not change our mission," a third stated. "We need to go with the dragon option."

"Right."

The emissaries ended their huddle. They turned towards Hildoara with serious expressions.

"If you don't break your agreement, we will stop all trade between Motteburh and Vandalland," an emissary threatened.

"Do that," Hildoara said. "Vandalland does not need your trade."

"Very well. We will."

And with that, the emissaries bowed and left the building.

Soon after, Queen Hildoara was in a room with Prince Wisimir and Duke Carini. Utter panic was flashing through her.

"I didn't think they'd call my bluff," she said.

"You were bluffing?" Prince Wisimir asked.

"Yes, I was. We need that trade," Hildoara answered.

"Why? Most merchants don't go more than a city or two away."

Duke Carini nodded.

"That is true. And under normal circumstances, we wouldn't need them," he explained. "But Vandalland is already suffering economically. We can't afford any losses, however minor."

"Weltai is too far away to make up for the lost trade, and I don't trust King Eduard the Defenestrator enough to talk to him. Even if he's cooperating with us right now, King Eduard is still a conquering lion," Queen Hildoara said.

She then grabbed a crystal ball.

"I'm calling Gustav. We've held off asking him for help long enough," the monarch stated.

Hildoara selected Gustav's number from her contacts. After a few moments, Gutsav's face appeared on her crystal ball. His next words did not fill Hildoara with confidence.

"Please tell me that Vandalland isn't on fire too."

"This is about the orphanages being flooded, right?" Hildoara asked.

"Orphanages are being flooded?"