Zombies Need Love Too!

Swoosh—!

A wickedly sharp blade whistled through the air, missing my head by inches with a vicious sound.

A few strands of severed hair danced through the air like confetti.

“Oops, my bad.”

The guy in front of me swept his fallen blond hair back with one hand and flashed me a cheerful smile.

He was the kind of person who’d turn heads just standing around. Seriously good-looking.

But he was also holding a threatening machete, which he’d just swung at me.

Some random stranger just tried to hack me with a blade? What kinda psycho is he?

W-why are you doing this! That’s dangerous!

“Grraaahhh! Groooaaarrr!”

Huh. That’s... not what I meant to say.

Don’t kill me!

“Grooooowwwwrrr!”

I tilted my head in confusion. The heck was going on?

Okay… I can admit that I’m a total zombie media nerd. Movies, games, comics—if it had zombies, I consumed it all.

I don’t know what it was about the whole thing, but I’d been obsessed with that dark, bleak zombie apocalypse vibe since I was a kid.

Crumbling humanity, hope hanging by a thread, love blooming against all odds, tear-jerking survival stories.

I know it sounds completely ridiculous, but the reason I got my driver’s license, learned to swim, kept up with running—it was all because I thought, “What if zombies actually take over the world? I gotta survive somehow!”

And yeah, I obviously only considered surviving as a human.

That was the plan, anyway…

Um... just wondering, but do I look like a zombie to you?

“Grr... grrr grrrk?”

The machete guy gave his weapon a quick shake and narrowed his eyes at me.

“This one’s pretty chatty.”

Right. So much for that plan.

Who the hell expects to reincarnate as a zombie?

***

I have no idea how I managed to get out of that situation.

The one good thing about zombies in this world? They’re fast runners.

Thanks to that, I was able to escape from the dangerous guy.

Sniff.

“Grrk.”

But seriously, what am I supposed to do now? Getting transported into a zombie story is one thing, but being reincarnated as a zombie instead of a human?

How is this even possible?

Most zombies are just nameless extras that get slaughtered. Plus they have no consciousness, can’t talk... wait, hold on.

I am a zombie.

“Graaahhhhk.”

I definitely can’t talk… but I can think perfectly normally for some reason?

Maybe I’m a newbie zombie who just turned recently?

Well this is just great. I mean, there aren’t even any other zombies around to ask what’s going on.

First, I need to figure out which world I’ve landed in.

The moment I came to my senses, I was facing imminent death, and the one trying to kill me was a gorgeous young guy with blond hair and blue eyes.

But that alone wasn’t nearly enough to go on. If I’d at least heard a name...

Then while I was mulling over all this stuff, I heard voices nearby again.

“It’s starting to get dark. We should head back before it gets too late. Do we really need to chase after one zombie that got away?”

Exactly!

I bit my lip nervously and crouched down even more.

Something told me that if I moved carelessly right now, I’d get caught.

“Usually, no. But that one was different.”

“Different how?”

“It didn’t just get away. It ran.”

“Well...”

“Wait. Do you hear something over there?”

“Huh? What sound? I don’t hear anything.”

“I think I heard heavy breathing.”

“Wow, really now.”

The casual conversation cut off, and footsteps started getting closer.

My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

What is this guy, some kind of superhuman?

Whichever way I got caught, it was only a matter of time.

Deciding I had no choice, I jumped up and started running.

“See? I told you.”

The guy’s voice sounded weirdly excited when he said that.

Zombie girl needs help here!

“Grrraaahhh!”

As I stumbled along, the guy caught up to me like the wind and made eye contact. He looked perfectly composed, not even breathing hard.

“Hey there.”

Screw your “hey there.” What the hell did I even do to make you chase me this far?

“Can you understand what I’m saying?”

Stop talking and just leave me alone!

I tried to ignore whatever the guy was saying and keep running, but suddenly my body wobbled and my center of gravity shifted forward.

Before I could defend myself, I went tumbling across the ground.

The guy had tripped me.

Ow! That really hurt!

“Graaahhh! Graaahh!”

I rolled around on the ground, growling.

Meanwhile, the guy had stopped and was looking down at me with a cold eye. He sounded completely calm.

“Isn’t it only right to answer when someone asks you a question? Yeah?”

The guy’s eyes sparkled with curiosity. He bent down halfway and stuck his face right up close to mine.

“Are you crying right now?”

Yeah! Because getting tripped was so unfair and painful!

This your first time seeing a crying zombie, huh?!

The guy stared at me so intently that I stopped crying before I even realized.

I stayed sitting on the ground with my butt planted there and scooted backward bit by bit.

“Hey.”

Yeah?

“Grrk?”

“You really do understand me.”

Of course I do. Why else would I be so scared, moron?

“Are you insulting me right now?”

Ye-no?

“Grrrrrk.”

“Yep, you are.”

Why even bother asking?

I narrowed my eyes and glared at the guy.

I’d only just gotten transported here—I hadn’t even figured out what was going on yet. Getting cornered this badly? Yeah, definitely not on my bingo card.

I mean, who expects to reincarnate as a zombie?

And seriously, who thinks that zombie’s going to have their un-life threatened by humans?

“Hmm, what should I do?”

The guy had somehow switched from his machete to a wicked-looking knife and was scratching his head with the handle.

He seemed to be seriously considering what to do with me.

Reading the mood, I cautiously thought there might be a way out of this.

Um, please spare me. I wasn’t even trying to hurt you. I actually ran away.

“Grrrrrr, grrraaaaahhh, grrrk grrk, grroooowww.”

“Sorry, but I don’t speak zombie.”

Oh yes, of course.

After thinking for a second, I pressed my hands together in front of me and started begging for mercy.

It was pathetic… but survival over dignity, right?

“Ah, you’re asking me to spare you?”

The guy finally seemed to get it. Body language really is the most universal language.

But even after understanding me, he didn’t rush to decide.

And I mean, fair. I’m a zombie, and zombies are supposed to be killed.

Still, as someone who’s practically a scholar in zombie media, I know better. 

Zombies don’t just poof into existence. They’re usually virus-based—humans turned by infection, not dropped from the sky.

Which means the body’s still human. And if you’re not actively trying to eat anyone, you’re technically not that dangerous.

The real issue is, I have no idea what kind of story I’ve landed in.

By now, I should’ve picked up a clue or two. But my brain? Still fogged up like a bathroom mirror.

And no, I’m not just saying all this because I happen to be a zombie right now. This is objective, rational thought. Probably?

Anyway, he was taking a while to decide.

When I shifted slightly—just testing the waters—a blade touched my neck faster than I could blink.

No, no. That’s not what I—

“Grr, grrrruuuuhh.”

I whimpered. Tried to explain myself.

I was just going to get on my knees. You know, to complete the whole pitiful package.

Tears that had so kindly retreated earlier started welling back up. I mean, the injustice of it all…

“Stop that. You’re making me look like the bad guy here.”

You ARE the bad guy right now though.

I really don’t want to hurt any... huh?

“Grrrrrr, grrrrrk...?”

Mid-sentence, I noticed a sudden string of drool sliding out of my mouth.

And then—meat. I could smell something delicious nearby.

The guy gave me a hollow laugh.

“What, you want to eat me?”

No! No way!

“Grrk! Grr grr grrk!”

The hunger came out of nowhere, but I wasn’t craving him.

I just... smelled something divine.

My eyes instinctively searched for the source.

His sword was still aimed at my throat, and I was busy drooling all over myself like a Labrador near a barbecue.

“Hey.”

I looked up.

Somehow, without me noticing, he’d moved his other hand—and in it, was a glorious, mouthwatering sausage.

My mouth starts drooling like the darn Niagara Falls.

Fack! That’s it. That’s what I was smelling!

He wiggled the sausage around, and my eyes followed it like it was some kind of hypnotic pendulum.

“This is ridiculous.”

Oh yeah? Wait till I tell you about my darn day.

“Haah! My lord!”

A younger man sprinted over, out of breath. The moment he saw me, he whipped out a gun and aimed straight for my forehead.

“Why haven’t you killed this thing yet?”

“Hold on.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“If anything happens, I’ll protect you. Don’t worry.”

“Seriously...”

The guy grumbled but didn’t lower the gun.

Meanwhile, my attention stayed glued to the sausage.

I was starving. If I could just—just one bite—

Hm?

“Grrk?”

Suddenly, the sausage was shoved straight into my mouth.

Fireworks went off in my head.