Chapter 152 I am a Fool (Also)
"It's fine, it's fine..." Yuncui frantically waved her hands, excusing herself, "Actors often kiss in plays, right? I know it's all fake!"
It's all fake, it doesn't count... But even if it doesn't count, it was still a first kiss.
Yuncui felt a twinge of shame. She had imagined her first kiss countless times; perhaps it would be under a sunset, amidst fireworks, under a starry sky, in a movie theater, or at an amusement park—a natural and destined kiss.
The person would definitely be considerate, definitely gentle, definitely someone worth pouring her heart and soul into.
But fantasy and reality always have a wide gap; her first kiss wasn't that romantic and was gone so easily. She hadn't even considered her first-kiss partner, a boy three years her junior, whom she had always treated as her little brother.
Maybe, she shouldn't have been so hasty. She didn't need to participate in the subsequent tests; she didn't have to kiss Shen Mochen and carelessly give away her first kiss.
Even now, Yuncui didn't understand why she had acted that way. At that moment, she just felt she didn't want it, didn't want Shen Mochen to kiss anyone else.
The silent golden sunset poured into the room from the balcony, the interior dim and lonesome.
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Shen Mochen walked to the dining table, picked up a piece of sweet and sour shrimp, and put it in his mouth.
"Ah... don't eat that, it's from yesterday. Let me remake it!" Yuncui instinctively stopped him.
"I see some dishes are still fine, just need to be heated up, it's enough for two," Shen Mochen said. "No need to remake it, I'll eat and then go to the hospital."
Yuncui pursed her lips slightly and nodded.
After heating a few dishes that were obviously fine, Yuncui brought the food back to the table, and they ate in silence, neither speaking a word.
Yuncui didn't speak due to embarrassment and the fear of saying something inappropriate that might upset Shen Mochen. As for Shen Mochen, he didn't know how to start the conversation, even though he had already apologized.
The room grew increasingly dark as the sun outside seemed finally to set, the sky turning a dull gray.
"I'll turn on the lights."
Shen Mochen stood up.
Then there came a ringtone from a cellphone. Yuncui took out her phone and looked at it hesitantly.
"Is it from your hometown?"
Shen Mochen returned to the side of the table, looking down at it.
"Mhm," Yuncui nodded.
"You don't have to answer," Shen Mochen said.
"But..."
"You can guess with your toes why they're calling. It's nothing but the thought that you've found a rich husband; they want to sound you out and get on the good side of your rich husband."
Yuncui couldn't help but purse her lips and smile, her cheeks rosy, "But you're not a rich husband..."
"But they probably think so. And besides, Yin Caiyu's salary over the years plus the compensation add up to several billion; I'm definitely considered a rich husband now..." Shen Mochen started off coolly but then became indignant, "Damn it, Yin Caiyu has so much money and yet she lied to me, saying she had just scraped together enough for a down payment on a house. I remember she always read a book called 'Boys Should Be Raised in Poverty'; she hasn't been poisoned by that, has she?"
Cai Yuncui licked her lips and stole a glance at Shen Mochen's expression, but for some reason, she just couldn't see it clearly.
The ringtone of the mobile phone gradually ceased, but it wasn't long before it rang again.
"Are you thinking about answering it again?" Shen Mochen glanced at the fidgeting Cai Yuncui and said coldly, "You can answer calls from your hometown, but you better think carefully about whether you can give them what they want."
Cai Yuncui bit her lip and fell silent.
"I've never seen such a fool like you. No wonder you look so shabby in everything you do, and even ride a second-hand electric scooter. Turns out you've been subsidizing your entire village. But what's funny is that after giving out money, you fail to please anyone. You've set their expectations too high, only to disappoint them and in turn, they resent you."
Cai Yuncui pursed her lips, her face flushed with indignation, but she seemed slightly defiant, "I... didn't give it all to the village!"
"Then where is the money, saved up for a dowry?"
"I donated it to the Association!"
"Jishi Association? Is there a difference?" Shen Mochen scoffed.
"I was raised by the Jishi Association; they paid for my food, clothing, and education... I owe it to them to give back, and besides, my money can help more people like me, allowing them to contribute to society!"
This time, Cai Yuncui stood her ground a bit more, puffing up her chest and slightly puffing her face.
Shen Mochen looked at the faint glow in Cai Yuncui's eyes and smiled, "It seems you're not foolish enough to be ungrateful!"
"Eh..."
"I'm asking you, since you can help the people of the Jishi Association, why not become an official and help the people in your village? Why not arrange for the village dogs to become police dogs?"
Cai Yuncui blinked, and because of Shen Mochen's sudden rise in momentum, she stammered and went weak again, "Because, I... I feel that's not right."
Shen Mochen took a deep breath, "Yes, you might be a fool, but you're not stupid. You know what's right and what's wrong. So don't let them manipulate you, understand? Being morally blackmailed by them is the wrong thing to do. Every capable person should be self-reliant. You're not a living Bodhisattva who can save the world!"
"I understand..." Cai Yuncui murmured with her head down, "I'm not a fool."
"You're not a fool? You've given money, that you've earned through life's hardships, to others. Our money as Buque members... our money is hard-earned, and we should spend it with heads held high! And here you are, playing the fool, acting like the world's biggest do-gooder all the time!"
Cai Yuncui paused, her gaze dropping as she poked at her bowl with chopsticks, and after a long while, she spoke up, "Actually, I'm not a good person... just a coward afraid of loneliness."
Shen Mochen raised an eyebrow.
"You're not wrong. I really am a fool... but not in the way you mean. I've always been slower at learning than others. I've struggled with my studies ever since I was young, no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't make it, I'd always rank low in exams. Especially math, it was completely beyond me."
"My classmates called me a fool, they despised me for being dumb and performing poorly, they would never include me in their games. I thought to myself that I must study hard, I must join them. But even until high school, no matter how hard I tried, my grades were still poor."
"I've always been a poor student, a dummy, I know that. I'm just a born fool."
Cai Yuncui spoke softly, her lips pursed, her face flushed, and tears threatened to spill from her eyes.
She tried to make her tone as light as possible, but it unintentionally revealed a tinge of the grievance in her tearful voice.
To completely deny oneself in front of others is an embarrassing thing to do, but Cai Yuncui still decided to show Shen Mochen her true self.