World After Worlds

"Babe," she murmured and Spencer smiled with anxiousness. He brushed his finger to her cheek, "Babe."

"Again." Spencer demanded after smooching her lips. He leaned to her almost laying on the bed to embrace her.

"Babe." He kissed her forehead and smiled more reassuringly. "Babe, I'm parched." She mumbled softly. Spencer freed her and looked at the side table, he took the pitcher and poured her water.

"Do you need straw?" Yanarym chuckled at the question.

"I'm not a toddler, I can drink in the glass. And where would you get straw?" She said still laughing, Spencer smiled widened hearing her laughter and seeing her smile. Seriously, he could cry at this view- she's so lively. Unlike the past days where she was laying on the bed unresponsive, pale…

"Right here." He opened the drawer of the side table and it was full of her unnecessary necessities, "Drink slowly." Yanarym slowly shook her head looking at the things that Spencer always provides to baby her.

Spencer took the straw and put it on the glass then finally handed it to her. "Are you hungry? I'll peel you an apple then we eat after the doctor is done examining you." Yanarym bobbed her head as Spencer proceeded to peel her the apples.

The doctor came to examine her. "Is she gonna be alright?" Spencer beside her asked the doctor right after they were done asking her questions.

"She's gonna be fine, all she has to do is rest. Dr. Picfen will be here by 3:00 o'clock to conduct a psychological interview for her--."

"Psychological… interview? Babe?" Yanarym creased her brows and didn't let the Doctor finish it's words. "Babe, I'm not crazy."

Spencer shifted his eyes to Yanarym and to the doctor as they all were stunned with her disapproval.

"Baby, don't freak out, it's because- you did this to yourself and-"

"I'm not crazy, why would I get that interview?"

"I know, I know, baby… it's but hospital's policy." Spencer panicked, seeing her distressed expression, he couldn't help but think that she was thinking suicidal thoughts again. And he didn't want ro trigger anything with her- especially the doctor said that it's not best to cause her any pressure, anxiety or worries right after she woke up. But she needed to do that examination for them to know what they should do with her episodes of her mental illness.

"I don't want to do it."

"Baby, they will just ask you questions. Right, doc? Just a few questions."

"Yes, Ms. Yanarym, just a few questions-"

"I don't want an interview!"

"Alright, alright, baby, no one's forcing you, you need rest. Don't be stressed out, you need to recover." Spencer turned to the doctor, "Can I talk to you for a moment, doc?"

When they said that all she needed was to rest more, they let her sleep.

Yanarym sighed, she just woke up and the task was already completed. So, the male lead finally fell in love. Does she have to think of a way to die again? She looked at her wrist, it was not fun to kill herself at all.

That was the stupidest thing she did in her six lives. And she has to think of a way to die again- another stupid thing that she should do.

It was night when Yanarym was woken by someone- caressing her hair and her cheeks. As she opened her eyes, she saw the angel smiling sadly.

"Hello, sugar." Hansel greeted her softly, he did not stop caressing her.

"Hansel?" She called him and his smile widened.

"Hmm." He hummed and laid to her side, hugging her waist closely. And kissed her temple before closing his eyes and inhaling her natural scent. "Do you feel alright?" he mumbled to her ears and held her hand… he saw her wrist wrapped on a bandage. He hates it.

"Yes." She nodded her head and tried to look upon him, "Where is everyone? Are you here alone? " Hansel didn't hear her, he was too fixed on her wrist.

"Does it hurt?" He asked her and she shook her head in response.

"Not anymore." He looked at her and smiled. He held her hand and grazed it on his lips.

"Good." He whispered and shifted his attention to her. "Very good." They turned quiet, it was dead silent. Hansel could feel their heart thumping, the most beautiful music he had ever heard.

"I love you, Rym." He whispered to her ear and tightened his embrace to her body. He thought it would be easy to say goodbye, but he couldn't let her go at all. "I love you."

"Thank you, Sel… "

"Sleep, you need to rest." He said to her as he ruffled her hair.

"Hansel,"

"Why, sugar?"

"It's not your fault. I did that by myself." She said to him and he just smiled, and let himself fall asleep with her.

Spencer came into the room and saw that Yanarym was being embraced by Hansel, he paused and marched towards them and saw that she was sleeping comfortably. He clenched his jaw in jealousy but held himself to outburst. He sighed, he looked at them and felt the bitterness. Nonetheless, he chose to let Hansel win this time. He doesn't want to cause any stress to Yanarym at this moment, the doctor advised that she shouldn't deal with any complicated matters because her mind was still at its weakest state. He stepped aside- he walked on the couch inside the room and sat there, just to watch her sleep.

"Dear to whomever who found this voice recorder. First of all, I wanted to say, I did this to myself and I blame no one for my death. If you are hearing this, I'm probably driving my boyfriend's car somewhere to find a good place to die or I already had died… "

"For my best friend, Gale, please take care of yourself. I believe that you will have a great future. We had a lot of fun times together, I depend on you a lot. I was really in pain for you back when we were younger- I think even now, right? Anyways, I don't want to get emotional, I want you to know that I am happy for you and this decision I made will make me happy too. Please be safe, I love you."

"For my boyfriend, Spencer, I'm sorry if I lacked so many things if I made you feel less of a man in our relationship. I'm sorry for using you as my bank account, I am such a horrible person, right? But during all those years, I'm thankful, I'm so grateful for all of the things you have done for me. You are the best boyfriend that anyone could have but I'm the worst girlfriend that you had. I'm sorry for failing you, although I didn't fall in love with you… I tried to love you, but I can't feel it for you and that was not your fault, I'm a shitty person, I'm the problem. You deserve someone better- greater than me. You're a good man, you're a great lover, everyone loves you, you will find happiness someday… "

"... Lastly, we met under unexpected circumstances. I remember that I was so scared of you because I thought you were such a devil man dressed as an angel… Hansel. I wanted to say, you came at the wrong time and fell in love with the wrong person. Although, I think- I think I fell for you. My love and your love weren't enough to keep me staying. During my stay at your place- I realized that you stirred something inside me and that made me happy. But happiness never lasts long. I want to keep the happiness you gave me in my memory and don't stain it with any negativity. Thank you for the short-time company, Hansel. Like Spencer, I want you to find someone deserving for you… "

"Please, please, please, everyone, don't blame yourself for my death. The reason why I choose to die will sound very silly and unreasonable- may be very selfish for you. But I don't want to age older than 20, I don't want to know what will happen after I graduate. I don't want a life or a family or a career, I want to die young. I don't want to be a burden and I think living is not for me…"

"This is Yanarym's goodbye." Yanarym stopped recording herself and put down Gale's phone back on the table. She smiled looking at the three people who gave her such a complicated but relaxing stay in this world. They were sleeping like babies.

She turned her feet to the sliding door and left the hospital with Spencer's car. She changed her clothes and bought things she needed at the pharmacy.

If she's dying again at this time, she won't die painfully. The research she made last week was pretty useful. She drove with no specific location and she chose to ride until she ended up on the beach. The ocean soothes her nerves.

She sat comfortably on the driver's seat after she lit fuel and coal at the back seat. She waited for the sun to rise and she could feel her head getting fuzzy- it's time for a real goodbye.