When the Doctor Uses A Hack

A legendary figure in the department, Ma Hanhan, finally got admitted to the hospital.

Lying on his bed, Ma Yuehui suddenly realized that patients really are kings!

"Nurse! I'm too hot! Turn on the air conditioning!"

"Get lost!"

"Nurse, I want to see my medical records!"

"Shut up!"

...

Alas, the kind and pretty nurses always seem to belong to someone else, leaving him with nothing but loneliness and helplessness!

Why is there such a vast difference between patients?

So, Old Ma refused to take it lying down—he decided to lodge a complaint.

Coincidentally, the head of the medical affairs department came to the ER's Sixth Division for some business. As soon as Old Ma saw him, he almost burst into tears.

"I want to file a complaint! I want to file a complaint! They're mistreating me!"

Old Ma cried out to his brother-in-law, Luo Youcai.

However, Luo Youcai brushed him aside and, looking at Chen Cang, said, "Doctor Chen, why is he still so fat? Make him lose some more weight!"

At that moment, Old Ma was truly despairing!

That morning, during Chen Cang's rounds, he shared a room with a young man who had ended up in the hospital because he injured himself in a fight. Initially, the young man was all bluster and bravado.

Now, however, he was adamantly refusing to be discharged from the hospital!

The head nurse had originally planned to push him to leave the next day,

but…

As soon as the young man saw Ma Dazhuang, a towering figure of over 6'0" and more than 180 pounds, in such a pitiful state, he jumped with fright.

He immediately became as docile as a lamb, not daring to utter a single complaint.

When Chen Cang entered, he glanced at Old Ma's abscess and then casually gave it a hard slap!

The pain nearly made Old Ma leap out of the bed!

He looked like he was ready to fight Chen Cang on the spot.

Chen Cang, unruffled, turned to the nurse and said, "Get the phone ready to call the psychiatric hospital. We have a lunatic here who needs a transfer!"

Upon hearing this, Old Ma didn't dare to act out anymore.

He could only raise a trembling finger at Chen Cang and the others, muttering, "Just you wait… once I'm better…"

But alas, his threats were futile!

It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to bully Ma Yuehui.

Even the familiar nurses would occasionally step in to "kiss up to" him!

Soon enough, flattering Old Ma became the trend in the emergency department.

People, whether they had business with him or not, would come over to flatter him—Yu Yonggang was no exception!

But Old Ma simply had no outlet for complaint.

Others had every reason to shower him with fake flattery; what could he do about it?

The young hooligan sharing the same room spent the whole morning watching countless people come in to "hit" Old Ma. It had him utterly terrified.

Unable to hold it in, he asked:

"Boss, why are you in the hospital?"

Old Ma froze for a moment, then sighed melancholically: "You know how it is—stand by the river long enough, and your shoes are bound to get wet!"

Old Ma's mixture of weary melancholy and an air of ruthless decisiveness captivated the young hooligan, who had dreams of being a gangster.

With his physique, Old Ma really did look like a seasoned street figure.

The young hooligan swallowed nervously, connected the dots, and suddenly had an epiphany.

In his mind, Old Ma morphed into an ex-mafia boss who'd fallen on hard times after being outplayed by someone!

With that thought in mind, the young man cautiously asked in a low voice:

"Boss… do you… have blood on your hands?"

Old Ma was instantly taken aback!

Blood? What the hell…? He sighed dramatically, unable to count even if he tried.

"Ah, in our line of work, how could there not be blood? On bad days, there could be several cases in just one day!"

Hearing this, the young hooligan froze. He had never encountered a "character" of such caliber!

His face flushed with both fear and admiration for Ma Yuehui...

Hurriedly, he asked, "Boss, were you a soldier before?"

"When I served in the army, it was a special unit. We were deployed to Africa. Back then, there were so many casualties. Afterward, my boss brought me back here. Now… sigh… once you're in the underworld, you can hardly control your own fate."

Old Ma's vivid storytelling carried such a sense of authenticity that the young hooligan couldn't even think to doubt him. The details were so precise, and he recalled reading a book about mercenaries. A sudden fear crept into his heart.

So… had he been sharing a hospital room with a ruthless killer all this time?

Old Ma sighed again. During his hospital stay, without surgeries or the sight of fresh blood, he actually felt a bit unsettled.

He gazed at his hands and murmured: "Do you know? Blood can be quite addictive. Seeing it gush out, seeing it… my adrenaline starts to spike. If I go a day or two without seeing it… I feel awfully restless!"

Old Ma was genuinely sharing the aftereffects of a lifetime in the ER, constantly dealing with blood.

But as he stared at the young hooligan, his gaze…

It almost scared the young man to tears!

He rushed to get his discharge paperwork in order.

The young hooligan's departure made the head nurse ecstatic. After all, patients with external trauma, especially head injuries, are ticking time bombs. If you push them to leave, who knows what might go wrong!

But to her surprise, the young man actually chose to leave on his own.

A delighted head nurse concluded that this had to be thanks to Old Ma's influence and immediately went to give Old Ma her enthusiastic gratitude and flattery!

When the young hooligan left the hospital, he took one last, meaningful look at Old Ma.

At that moment, Old Ma was sulking after enduring yet another round of hollow flattery from the head nurse. He glanced at the young man and said, "Not bad, kid. I'll come find you outside."

The young man's face turned deathly pale.

That very day, he went to the nearest police station and reported that the emergency department was harboring a mercenary murderer, someone who couldn't go a day without blood…

By noon that day, Old Ma was placed under investigation.

He was utterly dumbfounded!

...

In reality, treating something like an abscess hardly even required surgery.

Old Ma was primarily using the admission to undergo a full physical and test for infectious diseases.

Since his job in the ER involved constant blood exposure, the risk of occupational exposure was always present. So, Old Ma figured he'd take the opportunity for a checkup and also have his hemorrhoids removed.

Chen Cang, of course, agreed to this.

But they had overlooked one issue…

The lab results came back that very day.

Not wanting to stay in the hospital too long, Old Ma decided to have the surgery after his shift that evening.

So, Chen Cang prepped to handle the abscess removal himself and invited a proctologist to take care of the hemorrhoids.

The department instantly buzzed with excitement!

Yang Jie, as a nurse, personally prepared him for the procedure.

She even invited a few nursing interns to join so she could teach them some techniques.

When Old Ma heard this, he immediately bolted upright and tried to flee.

What ensued was the most laughable scene in the emergency department's history.

A man in a hospital gown sprinted ahead, with a dozen nurses chasing after him!

"Hold him down! Whoever holds him down gets to prep him!" declared the head nurse, instantly igniting chaos amongst the nurses.

In the end…

Old Ma was still pinned to the bed.

The preparation process turned out to be incredibly challenging!

But in Old Ma's eyes, it was pure humiliation.

For the nurses, though, it was a difficult task to get done!

Old Ma felt like he wanted to die!