Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

Yoona approached me quickly, carrying a small vial of green liquid. She frowned when she saw the swelling on my face.

“I can’t believe people would be so cruel!” she exclaimed, “We’re all in this horrible situation together, but all they care about is getting richer.”

Noel nodded enthusiastically, “Yup yup, they’re terrible people!”

“Come on Walter,” Yonna said, handing me the liquid, “Just drip some of this on your wounds, and they’ll heal in a jiffy. I wish we had this kind of technology back on Earth, if we did...”

The Regressor's face turned grim, "But we didn't."

"Right." Yoona said, "Sorry."

I took the small vial and dripped some of it on my face as best I could, using my reflection from the shiny metal table to see. It stung a little, but I could quickly feel the swelling subside, and the dull ache I was feeling all but disappeared. I still couldn’t believe how fantastical the items you could get from Central could be.

“Thank you,” I said, “How much was it? I’ll pay you back.”

Yoona rolled her eyes, “You were just mugged, Walter. You don’t have any more money, and even if you did, I wouldn’t ask you to pay for one. They’re cheap in any case, and thanks to my brother, we’re probably the richest Aspirants in the world right now.”

“So I guess it was you two who caused that huge explosion near the end?”

“Damn explosion almost got me as well!” Vadeem laughed.

“But it didn’t,” grumbled the Regressor, “I made sure that no one else would be caught up in the blast.”

“Still almost gave me a heart attack when you set it off, brother! You never said that it would blow up the whole city!”

“Hey, enough of that, you two.” Noel said, her smile never fading, “Walter’s here, so we can finally form our awesome Party!”

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked.

“We’re making a party! You know, like the kind in RPG's!” Noel exclaimed, “Our leader says our next Trial will involve groups, and you’re chosen for the last spot in our awesome group!”

“If you want to, of course.” Yoona quickly added.

I was still a little confused.

The Regressor spoke up for the first time, “Remember the skill I told you previously? The one that gives me information about the Trials?”

I nodded.

“It told me that the next Trial will be done in groups, which is why we were given the time to spend here and socialize.”

Yoona sighed, “But it seems like we’re the only people actually socializing. Everyone else is busy extorting people or hiding. I don’t understand why people are not united when the stakes are so high!”

Seems like Yoona’s never been exposed to the thing called Human greed, nor was she clued into the fact that Raffiel had deliberately set things up so the situation would most likely end up like this. The other three seemed to understand this fact, but none of them chose to tell the High Schooler that.

“Yes, it is a pity.” Vadeem shook his head in mock sadness.

“Anyway,” the Regressor continued, “we need to work in groups of 5 for the next Trial, and Yoona and Noel both wanted you to fill in our last spot.”

Like I was going to say no to that! Let's get those sweet advantages curtesy of our Regressor and his knowledge!

“Hey, I’d be glad to join,” I said with a smile, “Any help I can get in this crazy world’s good news for me. Your skill tell you anything else about the next Trial?”

He shook his head, “No, at least not until it starts. The next Trial will be randomized, but its purpose is to assess how well we use our new classes and abilities, just like how the first Trial was to test for our potential. I'll know more once we're there.”

“Speaking of which, my new friend” added Vadeem, “What job did you get? I got a nice frontline class, perfect for getting up and personal with my enemies!”

“Oh oh, and I’m an awesome RPG Rogue!” Noel exclaimed, making some exaggerated stabbing motions with her free hand, “I can go around and poke the baddies in the backside! All sneaky-like!”

“I, uh, also have a frontline class.” I muttered, “It’s called the Master of… All.”

Like hell I could tell these freaks my actual class!

“Oo sounds imposing,” Noel said, “What’s it do?”

“It only allows me to use any weapon equally well,” I lied, “But no real active abilities, so maybe it’s not as impressive as it sounds.”

The Regressor nodded, his face furrowed in concentration, “No, that might be a better class than you think. There’s equipment that’s class-locked later on, and if you can truly use any weapon… but we can discuss that in the future.”

“Forget about the future, we have a problem now!” The redhead said in shock, “Walter’s using a spear!”

Everyone looked at her in confusion.

“Your point?” Vadeem asked.

“Are you blind? He can’t use a spear! The boss is already using one!”

I’m actually a little impressed with the Regressor for getting someone like Noel to address him as the leader. Maybe he’s got insider knowledge about the absolutely baffling way the woman acted via his future knowledge, but either way, I’ll leave it to him to handle Noel in the future.

“Sorry, even I don’t know what you’re talking about, Noel.” Yonna added in.

The other girl gave an exaggerated sigh, “My little bro will be known as “that other Spearman” or “Spearman 2” when we’re all super famous! We can’t have one of our party members known as “the less-handsome Spearman” in the future! That’s totally bad for his image!”

“Hey,” I said, “How come I’ll be the one known as the less-handsome Spearman and not Jae-Hyun?”

“No offence, little bro, but our leader’s a lot cooler than you are, so you’ve kinda defaulted into Player 2 status if you don’t change your weapon.”

I mean, sure, the Regressor’s got that dark and brooding look going for him, but was he that much cooler than I was?

“Affirmative,” Noe decided to add, “According to Noe’s Human Index on Standard Attractiveness, Kim Jae-Hyun has a 98.95% probability of being more “cool” than Host Watt.”

Oh come on, Noe, you’re supposed to be on my side! There has to be something better about myself than that Regressor!

“Affirmative,” it replied, “Host Watt has Unit Noe.”

…

“So…” Noel continued, “We should go shop for a new weapon for Walter, something that’ll make him stand out! We gotta find something exotic if he’s able to use pretty much anything!”

“Fine.” I muttered, fully defeated.

“But first, Yoona,” Jae-Hyun said, “Can you get Walter some food? He’s a little battered up to go himself. I’ll get him caught up on what we’ve been doing.”

“Sure thing!” Yonna agreed, “Anything you fancy? They got pretty much everything here.”

“Um, a burger and some mac and cheese would be fine.”

“Got ’cha, I’ll be right back. Take care of your wounds!”

Once again, the atmosphere turned absolutely chilly the second Yoona was out of view.

“Ok, what’s going on?” I asked.

“Yoona’s…” The Regressor started, unsure how to explain things to me, “Yoona’s had a tough upbringing, she’s had to grow up too fast. You can criticise me all you want, but there’s some things that she shouldn’t be exposed to right now, even if those things must be done. She’s the only family I have left.”

Noel giggled, this time with none of the false innocence from before, “Yeah, Jae-Hyun’s sister’s as white as they come. No sin at all; probably never even jaywalked in her life. Not even I would go around ruining someone like that.”

Her eyes flashed a bright shade of ruby, before her pupils turned back to a hazel brown, “Which makes me wonder why her brother’s so different.”

The Regressor chose to ignore her, “As I was saying, I don’t want Yoona to experience any more misery than she’s already had. She’s suffered enough growing up alone. There's things that I will have to do in the future that are necessary for our survival, but my sister is not ready to face those kinds of truths. Noel and Vadeem have already agreed that she should stay out of those kinds of dealings, so if you could…”

“Hey, I get it.” I answered, “This whole situation is messed up as is, no need to drag a teenager into the darker aspects as well. I’ll keep things PG around her, make her stay in the Trials as comfy as possible.”

For the first time since I’ve seen the Regressor, he seemed genuinely appreciative. I guess he has a real soft spot for his sister.

“Thank you.” He said, "And I will need your help in the future as well, Walter. Can we count on your support?"

I laughed, "Hey, if it'll help with our survival, count me in."

Vadeem nodded as well, “Knew you were an ok guy, Walter.”

“So, how come you’re fine with keeping her in the dark, Vadeem?” I asked.

He shrugged, “I have a daughter around her age, out there. Can’t imagine what it’s like for someone so young to be trapped in a situation like this.”

“Uh, Vadeem, your daughter’s like 10.” Noel pointed out, “That’s a wee bit younger than my new bestie.”

“Carol’s 12 now,” He reminded her, “and they’re both still children in my eyes. Children should enjoy their youth for as long as they can, so let’s keep it that way for young Yoona.”

I agreed, and the atmosphere shifted back as the girl in question brought over a tray full of food.

“Hey guys!” Yoona said, tray in hand, “Got Walter caught up on the plan?”

“Yup yup!”

“Awesome!” she said, handing me the plate of food and scooching over to grab a seat herself, “And have we decided on a new weapon for him?”

“Oh, we were waiting for you to come back before choosing.” Noel answered, “Finding the right look for my little bro here's a real science! We gotta find something memorable, something that’ll strike fear into his enemies, and it’s got to have a distinct silhouette so he’d be instantly recognizable! Come on Walter, eat your food faster, we have to figure this out ASAP, it’s of the utmost importance!”

I stuffed more mac and cheese into my mouth between big bites of my cheeseburger. I finished my meal faster than I wanted, mostly because I didn’t want Noel to lose her cool if I took too long to eat. Honestly, the food had been pretty fantastic, maybe not as tasty as a Shoggoth or that whale thing I ate with Xalla, but superb nonetheless. I really did want to enjoy my meal a bit more, but something told me that making Noel wait for any amount of time was highly unwise.

As soon as the last of the garbage was in the trash and had my tray stashed away, Noel practically pushed me forward towards the shopping area, and it was kind of nice spending my time without worrying about dying every second for once. I even laughed along with Vadeem’s lame jokes as I walked out of the cafeteria with my new companions.