This Is Where I Want To Be

22. Make Love Not War

Chris

“Do you not understand anything that involves adult lives…? Respect for other people and honoring commitments?” I shook her again like I wanted to for so long. Juliet got so mad, manifested quickly, and hissed at me. She pushed me away, and I let her go… It felt like I would never get used to it, “I guess you don’t if you eat them for dinner!” I muttered… I had no idea what her life entailed.

Juliet made an incoherent sound of irritation, “She doesn’t even love you… How is she going to get over herself to take that step? How long were you waiting tonight? Three years is a freaking long time not to have sex… What’s wrong with her? It’s just because of me… She doesn’t really love you! Sita sent that text on purpose!” Juliet was ranting, saying anything and everything she wanted and needed to get off her chest. Some of it made sense, and I didn’t want to accept more rejection from Sita. I was done.

“Look at you going on like a child!” I sneered. Juliet fell quiet after that. And at last, she gave me that deadpan, cold, furious, down-your-nose, all-in-one look of hers—bone-chilling. My heart felt heavy in my chest. I had said the one thing she couldn’t handle. Her shoulders lowered, her chin came up, and I couldn’t wait to see what would happen. That whole night was one long collision course.

“You want to play games?” she said in such a tone… poking my chest with a finger. “Let’s play a game… For five minutes, you get to do with me what you want… If you don’t….” she shrugged, “That’s your problem.”

No… I take it back. I don’t want to know what would happen. My heart exploded with every word... my chest rose and fell in anxious anticipation. She noticed and rested her hand on my shirt, “Hmm! Think you’re so in control… But then… I get five minutes in the back of the car with you.” My whole body quivered from the thought of Juliet trying to get me to lose control. And I would because only feeling her hand on my chest made me ache. The idea of her hands all over me was almost too much. My gaze flickered at the car, thinking of what could happen. Will happen.

“Go!” She said mockingly.

It was working, “I know what you’re doing… This is unfair….” I swallowed hard, knowing what was coming… Juliet gets what Juliet wants.

“Then you shouldn’t have ordered me into your car… To talk,” She air quoted again.

I felt like a chump. She was right. I had so many opportunities to let her go. Of being the adult and walking away… It was my fault… Whatever happened in the next five minutes.

“You’re a hypocrite and coward, and you’re lying to yourself,” she went on, “And I’m sick and tired of your fake façade of being master of your fate! Can’t you see? You never knew about me… And at the right time, our paths crossed? You fell in love with me! You want me… with every fiber of your being.” Her hand slid from my chest up my neck, and her fingers mingled in between my hair. I wanted to moan and close the distance. The dark night was slowly closing in on me.

Juliet’s voice was gentler now, “You picked me up after the club… Not Louis, Jerry, or anyone else. Then tonight… You say our love is not written on the stars. You’re not just lying to yourself… You’ve become devoid of any true feelings,” her eyes softened, “Your wife has convinced you that love should fit in a box. Or maybe you did that all by yourself!” Juliet had to take a breath but continued fast, “At least I have a heart and not rules to govern my life… If I am a child… I have more than you would ever have with your wife… You can’t even recog—”

I kissed her. Juliet’s face was in my hands. My lips were pressing onto hers in desperation… I unlocked our lips and pushed her away as quickly as I had drawn her in. I wanted to make sure she was okay with it… After a moment of surprise and searching my face, Juliet closed her eyes… tilted her head… parted her lips, and waited. I couldn’t hold back anymore. She was too ready to give herself to me. A surge of desire took over every part of me. I wanted her, and nothing was in the way anymore. Slowly, I pulled her lips onto mine and took a step forward, closing the distance, and then I buried myself in her. She responded with ragged whimpers and leaned into me. Our tongues didn’t meet in a crash or a fight for dominance; no… in a coalescence of an unavoidable future. One that I had fought and had no more excuses not to submit to.

My fingers were still hooked in the nape of her neck. My thumb on her cheeks. She lifted her lips and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me, nestling her face into the hollow of my shoulder… The desire turned to affection. It wasn’t just lust. It was more. I did the same, taking in the smell of her hair and absorbing the way she felt in my arms. It was the perfect confession of what we both wanted out of life; someone who sees you. I understood what she meant and was desperate for someone to love me like she did.

***

Juliet

I was so happy. I couldn’t believe it. Chris did it—while we were fighting… I was scared that all he saw when he looked at me was… someone too young for him, that that was really his problem. I slowly drew back, cheek to cheek, my skin prickled as I slid over his beard. My lips were on their way to his mouth. It was my turn to kiss him. It was everything I had wanted for so long. Chris anticipated and tilted his head to meet me, and with rough, long strokes, I showed him how I felt. I hungrily touched every part of him. His breath hitched at my eagerness, and he ran a hand through my hair and deepened my search for more, meeting my yearning. I jumped onto his waist, desperate. Chris caught me, and I pulled my lips away from him. Raggedly, I tried to speak, “My five minutes… now! Let’s go,” I squeezed my thighs around his waist.

He unclasped my feet and made me jump off, “I can’t!”

“You have to, Chris. I want you… I need more….” I said breathlessly. He stared at me in confusion… “If we sleep together… and the lust and the pent-up frustrations are gone. Then we can assess again… If you still feel it’s wrong… You can say that it was only attraction… I will concede.”

He still didn’t budge, shaking his head nervously.

“Chris, it’s my five minutes. I guarantee you… Even if you cheat on your wife. The world isn’t going to fall apart. Sita isn’t going to love you less or throw it in your face. If she knows… she’s probably going to shrug it off. If she doesn’t love you now! She never will.”

“I don’t care about her… I can’t do this to you!”

“What? Have sex?”

Chris released a nervous little laugh, closing his eyes. His hand ran through his hair. I was afraid I was losing him, “I’m not taking your virginity… I’m a thirty-year-old man… I thought… kissing would be enough?”

I laughed, “Enough? No…” He clearly didn’t understand how long I wanted this and what I would do to get it. “You’re twenty-nine,” I tried to lighten the mood. He didn’t think it was funny, “I told you… I’m not a virgin… I’m at fifty, remember,” I lied. It was probably wrong… but I was going to do it.

“F-! If you’re lying to me,” Chris said pointedly.

I needed to do more. Say something to make him understand I didn’t live under human laws and rules. “I can live up to nine hundred years… Time doesn’t matter. My dad is three hundred years old. My mom four hundred.” I knew I was being manipulative, but I didn’t care. We were both already there, and all I wanted was to feel every inch of him. To drive my point home, I brought up Louis. Chris hated it when I mentioned the guy, “And of course… Louis… is two hundred and twenty-two… I wonder when his birthday is?”

Chris pulled me into his arms, gazing down into my eyes, “Do not talk about him again.”

It had worked. My whole body relaxed as he dragged my mouth onto his with a maddened need. He had finally let go and was kissing me relentlessly. Hard lips met soft until we were both panting. With hands on his hips, I steered him to the car while our mouths refused to separate. I opened the back door and pushed him down into the seat. Chris’s hands covered his face. It seemed that was his go-to mannerism for frustrating situations, “Are you sure, Juliet?” Chris asked as I slowly parted my thighs and straddled him, closing the door.

I lowered myself down and glanced at our mingling hips. I moved over him once. Chris’s fingertips dug into my waist, “Oh s-, I’m close,” I said softly and looked up, “This is going to go really quickly.”

After that, it was rushed… still… I want to think we made love… I didn’t really care if he couldn’t say it or that was what I was telling myself… I would worry about my heart later.

Chris reached for his shirt, and I went for my dress simultaneously. Our heads bumped. We laughed. I had never been that happy and flushed. His fingers gently touched my head where my hand was rubbing. Our lips locked quickly. His shirt went over his head. I did the same with my dress. Facing me, his hand caressed the back of my neck nervously, “You lied to me.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged, laughing. “Can’t take it back now,” Chris shook his head but with a smile on his face. Sensitive brown eyes, worrying.

***

Chris

“So? How do you feel now?” Juliet asked with a smile playing on her lips. She was fishing. She had already let it slip when I was inside her. I knew she wanted me to tell her I loved her… Something I’d wanted to say to her for so long. My fingers brushed over the smooth skin of her cheek, cupping her neck and pulling her closer to me. I couldn’t stop touching her. My forehead rested against hers. I closed my eyes, trying to find the right words.

“I…”

A noise outside made us both turn to see what it was. Footsteps? Someone was outside the car. A shadow flickered at the door. A terrible roar made Juliet clutch onto me, but not like the screeching sound I heard at the bridge. The door flung open. Or rather, got yanked off its hinges in one smooth motion of power, shaking the whole car. It flung into the air and came crashing down. Juliet and I swore at the same time. She pushed me back against the opposite side of the car, jumping over me. She positioned herself in front of me, protecting me, “This is not going to end well!” Juliet whispered.

“So, it’s not your father or Louis!?”

Juliet was bracing… why was she bracing? I had never seen anyone so scared before. It wasn’t like Juliet at all. I feared we might die that night. A creature burst into the car, roaring, fuming with vicious features. Its mouth foamed with every growl. Juliet got scratched across her arms as the thing clawed at her to get her out. She was covering her face, but there was no blood, only gaping wounds, raw flesh, and the scraping sound on her bones. It seized a chunk of her hair in a claw, pulled her out, and tossed her to the ground like a rag. It roared into the sky, walked over to her, grabbed her hair, and dragged her over the road away from the car.

I was stunned into inactiveness. Juliet was the non-human… I thought she would know what to do… I wanted to jump out and take his attention off her, but I just sat there. The thing was angry and raging, but she didn’t scream or look scared anymore, “Chris, stay there. Don’t come after me. He’ll kill you. Remember my ability. Get in the car and go. Promise me!”

She wasn’t scared anymore because she was outside the car. I had a way of getting out of there. It was all about me for her. An uncontrollable gasp escaped me. The thing picked her up one more time and threw her down hard onto the ground, scratching at her. Juliet wasn’t disappearing because I wasn’t leaving. She screamed, “Jerry! Stop!” He didn’t, and the flesh on her legs split open as he clawed at her. She manifested and tried to fight back. Then I blacked out.

***

Juliet

Jerry was out of control. I realized it was him when he towered over me. I glanced one last time at Chris, fearing the worst for the next hit I would take. His breathing was deep and building up to doing something. I knew we would both die if he got out of the car. But Chris didn’t climb out… He jumped out like a mountain lion on all fours. It was instant and natural, teleporting to next to Jerry. With one twist of his arm, he got me off, breaking Jerry’s wrist in the process. Chris was not Chris anymore. His eyes were glossy, like a werewolf when they manifested for the first time. Jerry whimpered when Chris grew two heads taller and twice his size.

Chris made a sound that I had never heard before. Vampire fangs grew long out from his lips, and his teeth doubled in amount. He bit into Jerry’s neck, crushing his spine instantly. He held him up in the air when there was no more life in his prey. Jerry was dangling like a puppet. Chris tossed him against a tree, roaring into the sky. It felt like every person in our town must have heard him. Skittish and snarling, his head snapped right and left…. His eyes rested on my arms and legs. For a moment, I thought he would turn back, but he advanced on me. Louis came running through the field, bumping into Chris. He was confusing him. Another werewolf was with Louis. The one we saw at the bridge.

“Disappear, Juliet. Now!” Louis yelled.

I was scared, but I couldn’t do it. I ran for the car and hid behind it, adrenalin still surging through my veins. A few other cars stopped around us. My parents got out, and some other people I didn’t know. One pulled out a gun, “No! Don’t!” I screamed.

Louis stood in front of Chris to keep his attention on him so they could take the shot. My mom came up to me, and she took in the state I was in, her face contorted in terror. She manifested, scooped me up, and put me in the back seat of Chris’s car, speeding off towards home. All I saw was Louis and Chris fighting.

“It’s only a dart gun, Juliet. He’ll be fine.”