Theseus

I spent entirely too long staring at the bright white moon in front of me, as well as the large blue-green marble behind it as we made our approach. It was beautiful, like nothing I'd ever seen. It looked so much different from the outer colony worlds. Maybe it was the minimal terraforming that both of the spheres required to sustain human life, but it just seemed more vibrant than the other worlds ever had been. It was my ancestral home. But the view had to come to an end eventually.

The touchdown process was surprisingly painless, aside from my anxiety, knowing what came next. A colony-side automated rail system guided me down to our assigned hangar. All I had to do was enter some response codes that Aisling negotiated, and the rail took care of the rest. The very first thing I noticed was the heaviness. I couldn't physically feel the effect of the moon's gravity within the lubricant fluid, but I could feel the ship drifting toward it and my subsystems compensating for it.

Before I knew it, we were in an open-air hangar. It was a cube designed to give us privacy while there was no roof above, so we were free to take off again once we got clearance.

As the landing gear touched ground, I felt several of my systems begin to shut down automatically. Electrical circuits went into low power mode, life support began running diagnostics and idling, artificial gravity turned itself off, and we connected to a local grid. A wave of lethargy hit me all at once. I don't think I'd realized how tired I had become until all of the systems necessary for life on board were suddenly redundant with the colony's systems and shut themselves off. I drifted back in my void and thought to myself, maybe I could just sleep now. Like a person. Just for a few minutes.

I was jarred awake when I felt the lights turned off and the fluid began to drain away. It didn't take too long for the lid to pop open and Doc to look down at me, a surprised expression on his face as I lay back. Floating lethargically with my head tilted back to keep my lungs full of the fluid for just a moment longer.

He reached down and pulled me up by the arm, and I jolted awake as I was forced to endure yet another lubricant purge. "Come on, Meryll. We got places to be. I know you're not looking forward to this, but you don't have to deadweight on me."

I coughed a few more times after I was done spitting up the lubricant and panted "I'm not trying to. I'm just really tired all of a sudden."

"You haven't been sleeping enough. I didn't say anything since you're about to go under for most of a day, but we'll discuss it next time you return to the core." He started to pull me up to my feet and I did my best to oblige.

"Okay... but I don't know if I can walk so well." I rubbed at my eye only to find it ineffectual given all the slime still on my face.

"That's fine, I have to anesthetize you here anyway." He said casually, guiding me slowly over to the bed. "If our doctor friend sees the core he's suppose to work on walking around, talking, and reacting like a human being, he's going to ask questions. Far as he's concerned, you're just illegal hardware."

That made sense to me, poor as my logic probably was in that moment "Probably not completely wrong." I yawned, lying down on the offered bed "Go ahead, do it."

"I... did." His voice started to sound distant. I hadn't even felt him jab me with the syringe, but before I knew it, my vision swirled into black and I felt everything drift away. The Data stream went silent. I could rest.

-—

The next time I was able to open my eyes, I was staring up at a sterile steel ceiling. Closing my eyes, I kept getting error messages. I was outside of Theseus's system range. Mentally, I could still feel it, instinctively, but my neural link didn't have the range that my psionically active mind must have. It took me a few moments to recall my predicament.

Looking down, I saw that the panel on my arm had been replaced. It looked cleaner, as did the flesh around it. The same was true for the case on my hip. I tried to reach up to check the implant, but I was too weak to lift an arm.

Where was I? Still in this mysterious doctor's operating room? Why? Shouldn't Doc have come to pick me up by the time I regained consciousness?

I heard a door opening nearby and my eyes went wide. It must have been the doctor. I tried to remain still, but it quickly dawned on me that I'd never directly seen an operative ship core in the flesh before. The dead one in my hull was the first time I'd ever laid eyes on one. I had no idea how to act like one, only theory on how one might act. I had to make some assumptions.

They must have been emotionless. I needed to keep a neutral expression. Did they need to blink? I didn't think I could avoid blinking, so I had to hope they did. They didn't talk or ambulate at all on their own. That wouldn't be hard given how weak I felt. I'd just have to fake it.

Someone stepped in, but I couldn't see without moving my head, so I just waited, trying to remain still and steady my breathing. There was a very long pause before the footsteps approached, and I felt a hand gently grab hold of my chin. The man turned my head to the side so he could inspect my implant. I did my best not to lock eyes with him, and I prayed that he'd already performed that operation too or this act would quickly become impossible.

He was an older gentleman. Pale skin, slightly overweight, and he had a telescoping mechanical eye. I didn't notice at first, but the hand opposite the one he touched me with was also entirely mechanical, without any synthetic skin hiding the fact.

Wordlessly, he turned toward the table of surgical instruments at my side and I began to sweat. When he turned back around, he was brandishing a small powered circular saw that soon whirred to life, and began to approach. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from screaming if he put that to my head, and that was exactly where he was reaching.

"Wait, stop." I said as loud as I could, my voice still weak from the anesthesia "I'm not really a core, please." He didn't seem to hear me. Was I too weak, even to speak? Was I too weak to scream? If I had to undergo surgery while awake, could I even survive?

The saw stopped "Remarkable." Was all he said, looking me over. I didn't understand. Looking up from my limited range of vision, I could see that my bed had vitals monitors over them. My heartrate was spiking rapidly. Of course, a core wouldn't be able to panic.

"Did you know?" I asked incredulously, my voice still quiet.

He raised his eyebrows "Well, I had a hunch until now." He sat down with a serious expression on his face "I know well enough to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my work, so why is it that Aisling would ask me to reinstall a core interface into a human being and not clue me in on the details?" He crossed his arms, giving an expression as if he'd been wronged.

He was testing me, and I fell for it. I would have bet that my work was long done. If I told him the truth, there would be a loose end that might cause everyone trouble later. I'd have to lie.

"Big score. All I can tell you is we need to convince someone that I'm a core." I muttered, trying to look away from him "It has to look real."

"Well I'd hate to break it to you, but you're not terribly convincing." He huffed "Irregular breathing, tossing and turning in your sleep, your eyes are too wet, I could go on. You at least have the frailty and the skin tone down, but you need considerably more work than this to play that part. Almost a total synthetic body.

"Fine." I sighed. I couldn't just let him make a bunch of cosmetic alterations to my body, especially on Aisling's dime "Look, I can't tell you. It's a secret, I can be that honest with you."

He held his hands up defensively "Always with your secrets, you pirates. I suppose I have my own skeletons in my closet. That's why she comes to me after all. No more questions then. For you anyway. I'll certainly be pestering her on this one." He gave an amused little chuckle "I'm sure it's a fascinating story."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Sure, it was going to be more work for the captain later, but he seemed ready to leave it be for now at least.

I was starting to feel my meek strength returning, and I pooled together enough energy to turn over onto my side on the bed to get more comfortable.

"I sure do hope that the Dario don't stop in for their protection money while you're here though." He said idly.

I raised an eyebrow. I'd heard of the Dario. A huge mafia that worked in the Earth proximity and extorted the colonists and tribals alike. They basically owned the region, and they were powerful enough that Foundation couldn't police them because of their distance from the outer colonies. "What are you getting at?" I groaned.

"Well, the collection guy and I are friends. He knows a lot about my work. If he sees you, I'm not exactly going to be able to tell him you're just a core..."

I wanted to scream. This guy was annoyingly persistent. I turned over slowly to face him, and I thought that I'd probably never felt this weak and sick before in my life. I pulled out the most sarcastic voice I could manage and started talking "Okay, you caught me, I really am a ship core. I'm just the first one ever that has emotions, reasoning skills, and a capacity for speech. Just a big ol' freak of nature braindead starship part who can play pretend long enough to be a convincing human being." I rolled my eyes, trying hard to convince him I was bullshitting.

He frowned at me "Fine, keep your secrets." He sighed, stepping away from me to rummage with something else in the room. I couldn't believe that that worked. I closed my eyes and tried to examine the data stream again. Doc was right, it was far less intense and confusing. Passing subsystem queries weren't distracting, and my head didn't hurt grievously trying to make sense of it. I felt around the room I was in. But I had neither sensory data nor access to any of the electronics. Except, of course, my own terminal inside my body.

I'd been working on a primitive instant messenger application so that I might be able to communicate a little easier with the others while I waited for inspiration to strike on my speaking problem. It was hard to operate anything with my mind outside of the core module, but I had to try.

I was lucky that that ripper remained silent for a bit. Nice as the new hardware was, I don't think I could have managed the task if he was any more distracting. I drafted the simple message 'Help, woke up, ripper asking questions', targeted each of the crew terminal's hardware addresses, and sent to all. I really hoped that at least one of them was in my terminal's meager broadcast range.

The man returned to my side, holding a metal plate with vents in the side. Some kind of new module "Now, before I install this damper, might I ask why you have psionic resonance in the first place?" He asked.

It'd worked as an excuse for my entire life, so I didn't see why it would fail me now. "Arthausen Syndrome." I told him, and he looked surprised "Machines read as if-"

"Yes, yes, as if you had resonance, I'm familiar with the term." He nodded. I was a little surprised by that. Other than specialists and the Foundation personnel that worked ferry checkpoints, I'd never really encountered others that already knew about the condition. It wasn't exactly common knowledge. "I still don't understand the why of it, this shouldn't actually do anything for you, but Aisling's a good customer. Hold still now."

I really didn't want to hold still, but what was I supposed to do? I was still too weak to move. He reached for my head again and tilted it forward. Placing the device behind my head, I felt something click into place. I hadn't had the chance to examine myself yet, but he must have had to install some new tech back there for the damper.

After a few more clicks, I felt another spike to my brain... and then an unnatural calm washed over me. Everything felt numb. Emotion, errant thought, identity, it all washed away. In that moment, reality suddenly seemed hard and logical. The feeling persisted for what felt like an age, but then it all came flooding back to me at once, the ripper was still standing above me right where he had been when the feeling started.

The emotional whiplash made me shiver. Was that what the damper activating felt like? I didn't like it. It felt too invasive. Too inhuman. But that was what I'd wanted, wasn't it?

"Yes, absolutely wonderful..." the man said, looking closely at my vitals. He looked down at me and smiled "Forgive me, I've never had the opportunity to examine someone of your... with your condition before, and I must say that the effect such a piece of hardware has on your vitals is astounding." he rubbed his chin "Well, that's everything that she planned set into place, but I think it's going to be some time before you can up and leave. I don't wish to put you under again, of course, but was there anything else less invasive you needed touched up while you're here? A stimulant injector perhaps? I'll throw it in free of charge if I can pick your brain about your condition."

I sighed "Stims? Seriously? No, I don't want anything else." I groaned, trying to put my arm down to push myself back up to sitting, but I just couldn't apply the force. I was beginning to become afraid that this man was going to start making demands more than requests before long.

A loud, demanding knock on the door to the operating room made the man flinch and he turned to look, scoffing when the knocks began to become more insistent. "Yes, yes, coming." he muttered loudly, walking quickly to answer.

As soon as the door opened, I heard Aisling's voice, and I breathed a sigh of relief "My merch ready?" she demanded.

"'Merch'? Aisling, honestly, I thought we were better friends than this." the ripper began as she moved past him into the room "Did you really think I wouldn't figure out that she's not a core? It's not a subtle difference."

"I hoped that you'd do your job, that's all." Aisling demanded. Another set of footsteps was silently following her. Mouse.

I turned my head to look at the pair "Hey." I mumbled weakly "Can I come home yet?"

"The anasthetic was supposed to last another six hours. What happened?" she asked, turning an accusing look on the ripper.

He just shrugged "She must have a tolerance, is all."

"Mmhmm..." she narrowed her eyes at him "Gerald, what'd you see here today?"

"Standard ship core fittings, better parts than you put in the last one." he smiled a little "You must want this one to last, hmm?" I didn't like his tone, but I was a little surprised that he was prepared to play along with the narrative, at least for now.

"That's right, and that's all it was." Aisling muttered, grabbing me gently under my shoulders and pulling me down into Mouse's arms. Frail as I was becoming, I was still amazed at the ease with which he could carry my entire limp body weight without seeming to struggle a bit. His own body mods must have been very high end. I briefly lamented that I was becoming used to being manipulated like an object though.

"Aisling. You have something very special there." he smiled at her.

She glared at him "You know something about this?" she asked directly.

"Only that there is something very potent here. I can feel it. I'd much like to be involved, if this is something big." he chuckled.

"You offering yourself aboard Theseus?" she asked and scoffed at him. I heard a click and saw that she'd drawn a pistol and was aiming directly at him. For the first time, I saw genuine fear on his face, backing away and cowering slightly. Aisling lifted the gun and showed him the empty cartridge case "Safety's on too. I don't pick my crew lightly, you know that. You're good at patching, but you don't got the nerve when we get into action. Got too much to lose. Don't go looking where you shouldn't, okay?" She warned, and motioned for Mouse to follow along, reaching into her pocket, pulling out an envelope "Its what we agreed on, with a little extra for your cooperation with this sensitive subject, yeah? Keep quiet and you keep a customer."

The man lowered his hands and grumbled something I couldn't hear. I was too focused on Aisling's daring approach to negotiation. She probably looked like a lunatic to the man, and I didn't mind if that's the kind of rep it took to be respected among outlaws. It was a bizarre mix of respect and intimidation.

"Thanks." I commented as we left the office, into an unoccupied hall that felt like a low end apartment building. Empty grey halls marred with graffiti, and numerous identical metal doors. Bags of trash littered the floor. "That guy's a creep."

"Only ripper on the colony who respects his work enough not to fuck you over though." Aisling commented "You're lucky Mouse was stalking you and got your signal. I take it the new stuff works?"

"Yeah. It doesn't hurt as much. Or maybe I'm still just numb."

"Even the psionic damper?" She seemed to be examining the part at the back of my head as we moved "Always thought these things were a ripoff. If I'd had one on my last core, we'd probably never have met."

"And I'd be dead in an escape pod." I snorted "Thanks for being cheap, captain."

She tapped her hand against my head, hitting me gently "Got it for you, didn't I?"