Theseus

I sat at the table in Shelby's with a dour expression on my face, trying my best to hold myself together. I was still too far from Theseus, my body was only just recovering from being anesthetized, and I'd been away from the solitude of my core module for what felt like far too long, when I knew that there was another 58 hours that I would have to endure the din of the lunar colonial slums.

It had been somewhat embarrassing to be carried through back alleys naked by a teenager, but Aisling had stopped to throw on the first shirt and leggings she saw outside of a thrift shop on the way to the bar. ‘It will do.’ She said, leaving me wearing a loud yellow button-up with pineapples embroidered into it, and a pair of black leggings. I’d had a long enough day already, I didn’t complain, I was just glad that I wasn’t sitting in a bar with my breasts out.

Since I'd finished with my errand ahead of time, I sat with only Mouse at my side for the time being, waiting for the others. Even Aisling said that she had one more place to hit up before she would rejoin us.

"Why were you a corpo?" Mouse asked suddenly. I had to turn my head and look him in the eyes to see that it was a serious question.

I frowned and pondered for a moment "Well, I was born into it. My parents were in IT as well. They taught me how to work intimately with computers. How to exploit and patch vulnerabilities in systems. How to make computers do what I want. I had a knack for it, so my parents recommended me and, well, I figured I was set for an easy life." I looked down at the table "And once I was on the inside, I started to notice... no, they're not as benevolent as they make themselves out to be to folks like us. We're just tools. And they don't only take advantage of people, they forced us to take advantage as well. Or else."

I tapped my fingers on the table, realizing I was making excuses "I've done things for them that I hated. Nothing huge. Not that often. But I still did."

"Then why’d you keep working for them?" He asked.

I sighed "I guess I was scared. I was no one special. At least I thought I was no one special." I turned to look out at the bar's early patrons, not wanting to meet Mouse's eyes "Scared that they would ruin me. Scared of dying. Scared that if I did try to do anything about it, it would end up meaning nothing." It felt a little odd that I was opening up like this to a kid, but I'd come to appreciate his uniquely naive yet introspective point of view in the last week. I knew I still had to explain some things like I would to any other teenager, but he asked all the right questions to make me think too.

"Well you don't have to be scared anymore." He said softly "You're strong. You grafted to Theseus!"

"Don't say it so loud." I warned him "It has to stay a secret."

He nodded and reigned himself in "But it's true. You could stand up to those kinds of people now."

I chuckled "if I'd have known I could do this I could've just flown away from it all earlier I guess."

"You can do more than run away. You can fight them with us. We can usually only do little things too, but we can fight them together. You're a good guy now! And maybe some day we'll get a chance to free all those people around Mars and Jupiter and Saturn too, and they'll join us too!"

I couldn't help but smile. He certainly wasn't jaded, that was for certain, even if he had some fairly unrealistic outlooks "Maybe. Who knows what the future brings for people like us?"

"Two jobs." Came a gruff voice from behind me. I rolled my eyes, recognizing Joel "Captain got us double duty for our next trip. Delivery, and once we get there, a bounty."

"We're bounty hunting?" I asked, leaning forward on the table when I turned to look around.

"We do the work we get, corpo." Joel sounded a little irritated "Long as no one beats us to them while we're grounded."

"I just didn't think we'd be chasing other criminals is all." I looked him up and down, sensing something different "Did you... get a haircut?" I noted that his scraggly hair had been cut short, almost like a military shave.

"Long hair's a liability in battle and I couldn't see a barber for awhile." He grabbed the seat next to me and turned it around to sit leaning forward against its back "And I suppose you need a lesson on what works for law on the inner worlds. No Foundation out here, least not in any way anyone respects. We take care of each other. Someone wants someone punished, they pay up for it or get one of the gangs to pay up for it, and people like us can go set em straight. Captain's gonna drop the details on us tonight."

"Wonder what they did this time." Mouse murmured.

"Doesn't matter." Joel held a hand up, trying to wave down one of the baristas.

"Matters to the captain." Mouse smiled. I had to wonder what he meant by that. I began to ponder if this was okay. I would think that the only ones who could afford to put out a reward for apprehending, or possibly killing someone, would be the rich and corrupt, who seemed pretty antithetical to our group's dynamic.

Joel ordered a round of beers. I didn't object because frankly, getting hammered sounded like a good idea for the first time since I started my old job. Screw sobriety, if I had to stay out of my ship, I was at least going to go through it inebriated and try to loosen up.

Of course, the moment the mug arrived at our table, Doc walked into the bar. I lifted my beverage to my lips, but he walked up right in front of me and put his hand on my wrist "Thought you didn't drink." He had an almost scolding tone.

"I thought you'd be there when I woke up." I retorted, still holding the mug up near my face.

He gave me a sour look "Eat something first, that'll destroy you if you drink on an empty stomach."

"Maybe she wants to get destroyed." Joel laughed as he pulled his own drink back.

I could see the logic in Doc's words though. I smiled to him as I set the mug back down "You promised me beef. Better be the juiciest damn cheeseburger I ever had."

I flagged down the barista myself this time, and the others chimed in with their various snack requests, but I needed a meal.

"So what happened with Gerald anyway?" Doc asked, settling down in a seat next to me.

I exhaled hard, looking annoyed "I woke up early I guess. And he already figured out I wasn't a core, but he went and scared the shit out of me to check for certain. Had a saw near my head just so he could get my heartrate up."

"Told you the guy's a sicko." Joel chimed in "Does good work, but I don't trust him past that."

"Then he started asking questions. Guess I can't blame him for that. I just told him I have Arthausen, but that wasn't enough for him." I rolled my eyes "Wanted to know why I was getting actual core gear. He kept trying to get me to answer his questions, though. Even made a vague threat about letting the Dario know."

Mouse let out a snort. He'd been drinking when I said it, and had to set it down and start cursing to himself, his beverage dripping from his nose. I briefly wondered if it was really okay for a child to be imbibing alcohol, but I was too distracted from the thought when I heard Joel letting out a hearty laugh, and noticed that Doc was smiling, pinching the bridge of his nose. "... What?" I asked.

"You believing in the Dario." Joel managed to get out between guffaws.

"They're not real!?" I exclaimed, putting a hand down on the table in disbelief, only making Joel laugh harder.

"It's a fairy tale." Doc explained "Foundation media tells outer colonists stories about this big bad organized mafia that runs the inner worlds, so they have a scapegoat for all their own atrocities."

I blushed a little bit "Well how was I supposed to know!"

"I thought it was a pretty transparent ruse." Doc continued, an amused tone to his voice.

The others had more than a couple good laughs at my expense before our food arrived.

It wasn't until I had that burger on a paper plate in front of me that I realized that I was ravenous. I wasn't sure if it was the hunger caused by actually using my body to any meaningful extent for the first time in over a week, the fact that I hadn't eaten anything but protein slop in that time, or if it was just genuinely that good, but when I bit into that soft bun and juicy meat, I almost wanted to cry. I couldn't help myself, I devoured that meal. The conversation kept moving, most likely at the continued expense of my naivety toward Foundation media, but I was too fixated on my food to follow it.

I found myself satisfied by the time the meat was finished, and idly snacked on the potato sticks it'd been served with as I rejoined the conversation "So Doc, what were you doing while I was under the knife?" I asked.

"Buying drugs from the Dario." Joel smirked.

I rolled my eyes "Fuck off."

Doc mercifully answered my question rather than egg Joel on "Well, I was buying drugs. Like everything else, we were running low on medicine, especially Ray's. She should be joining us tonight, once she's feeling more herself again."

I looked around, bewildered since the place was beginning to fill up "She's just going to walk in?"

"Unlike you, Mammons are no secret. At least not in the inner colonies." Joel said as he grabbed at some of the fried snacks at the center of the table to munch on "Ray might draw attention, but she's not gonna draw any fire on us."

I didn't like how right he was. I could easily bring down the might of the Foundation on us if what I was got out. I worried about Gerald. Would he be able to piece things together with what little I told him? Would he really stay quiet, even if Aisling had both threatened and bribed him in the same breath?

I closed my eyes for a moment. Despite the din around me, the data stream was easier to parse now. It practically screamed at me to return to the comfort of my metal shell, but it was a small break from the physical noise around me.

"So this is the new girl, huh?" I opened my eyes to see who'd just spoken, but had to open wide and look up when I saw black fur. Right opposite me on the table stood Ray in all her glory, standing taller than anyone else in the bar with her enormous monstrous arms at her side, and wearing little at all.

I hadn't had a good look at her torso before, but it had reddish line marks that went in from her sides and tapered off before they reached her chest. I hadn't been able to see the fur stretching over her upper chest when she was curled up, but it almost saved her from having to don clothing at all. She had powerful abs that she seemed to have no problem showcasing, and all she wore below that was what looked like some sort of small half-skirt.

I stared in silence. I had to admit that while I was scared of her towering appearance, my heart also fluttered a little bit looking up at the amazonian woman in front of me "H-hi." Was all I managed.

She smiled down at me as she crouched down at the edge of the table, clearly too large for the provided chairs. Joel scooted over to give her room without a word. "Get it out of your system." She said in a resigned but good-natured tone of voice "Doc already told me you were from the outer colonies."

"S-Sorry, I didn't mean to stare." I apologized. I wanted to hide behind something, but there was nothing in reach "I mean I've already seen you lots, but now that you're not all curled up, it's different."

"You watching me in my sleep?" She asked, sounding amused as she reached forward and grabbed an enormous claw full of fries from the table and began munching on them.

I blushed again "I-I mean, yeah, the sensor arrays don't... turn off, so I'm technically always watching the entire ship." I didn't always pay attention to all of the arrays, but I was still getting the data. I still wanted to absolve myself of some of the guilt of looming over her as she hibernated.

"So you're... what, a hacker of some kind?" She pointed toward the neural implant at my head "That what all the gear's for?"

As she munched away, I stared at her, dumbfounded, and saw that the others had stopped eating as well. I turned to Doc "You didn't tell her?"

She seemed to have picked up on the awkwardness around the table as well and also turned to him "Tell me what now?"

"Keep your voice down about it." Doc warned her "But Meryll IS that ship core we recovered."

Ray glanced over to me and slowly started picking the bits of food she'd picked up in her claw with her other hand, chewing slowly and giving me a confused look "Huh. How come we never ate out with the last one?" She asked.

I stared at her again, trying to process what she'd just said. Was she, perhaps, a little bit dense?

"Cause ship cores aren't usually people." Joel added "Meryll's different."

She kept just munching away slowly. I could feel the gears turning in her head as she tried to put what she'd been told together "So... you see everything in Theseus then?"

"Actually I umm..." I wasn't sure if I should try to simplify this "I... AM Theseus."

"You are our ship." She repeated back to me. "The huge steel starship, thats you."

I pursed my lips "I-It's hard to explain. It's an extension of me. I can feel every part of it like it's my own. I can feel when it's in pain, and I can see everything it sees, and... I'm a part of it as much as it's a part of me now." I smiled a little bit as I started getting carried away with explaining my relationship with the ship, starting to become excited as I spoke of my experiences "I control everything on board, and when I get into the core module, it's like my body is gone and I just become Theseus, and I feel like I'm free, soaring through space with everyone moving around inside of me, helping me operate..."

At a certain point, I saw recognition in her eyes, and she started to nod along sympathetically until I stopped and she said "I think I understand. There were people like you back home."

Everyone looked surprised now "Say what?" Joel asked.

"Yeah, shamans." She nodded, and everyone else seemed to relax a little. I just remained confused. "Real quirky folks. They could feel nature in the same way. Speak to animals, hear the forests, that kind of thing. You deserve some respect if you can pull off something like that with a machine."

I really had to wonder what kind of life led Ray here if she still believed in such things, but no one else was saying anything about it to her, so I just opted to let her believe there was something supernatural to my nature as the ship core. I felt like maybe the science would go over her head, and the others already knew that it was a lost cause. I found myself just staring at her again, perplexed at how to continue this conversation, but she seemed content with her own interpretation. "Well, either way, welcome to the crew."

I flinched as she reached across the table to me, but her frightening claw patted me on the shoulder with an unexpected gentleness before she retracted it and grabbed one of the mugs "To surviving another brush with death!" She declared loudly to the table, the others raising their glasses in agreement.

I smiled and marveled once more at the bizarre ragtag group that I'd managed to stumble my way into before I raised my own mug "Hear hear." I shrugged and pulled back the glass to take a drink.