The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

There were things which lived in the dark places in the world, and things which made the world dark.

This creature was both of them.

An overseer from the abyss.

Monsters as famed as they were cruel. Even the most foolhardy of adventurers keen to enshrine themselves in the swelling history book of deserved ways to perish would see the lidless eye and flee like the robbers they were. 

For if any were to be struck by the disintegrating light conjured by its very gaze, not even the treasure they’d worked so hard to loot from my family’s tombs would survive.

I could only step back in horror.

Wide enough to fill the cavern with its shadow, here was a thing so gruesome that no time could be spared on ushering it away. 

Instead, every fibre of my being was spent on ensuring I wore the correct look of terror. 

Yet as the visage of death floated before me, it was more than the pulsing eye, the crawling tendrils or the serrated fangs which drew my attention.

It was the drool.

I gasped at the sight … for I’d never seen my life so imperilled! 

The way its tongue flopped in defiance of oral posture! The way its jaw manoeuvred to encourage saliva! 

Why, here was something matched only by the poodles sent to test the defences of the Royal Villa’s plate cabinets! 

I glanced down at the growing puddle mere inches from my boots. 

Had it touched my soles, I’d need to step on the rest of my foes barefoot. I couldn’t do that. My foot was a national treasure. Direct contact with the backs of hoodlums was a far worse punishment for me than it was for my adversaries. 

And if that drool had landed on my clothes or my hair …

I shuddered as I reached for Coppelia’s arm.

Indeed, I could trust in my loyal handmaiden’s defence!

Both her clothes and her body were far more durable than mine … which is why knowing the threat I faced, she didn’t hesitate as she sprung on the spot, determination written upon her face.

And then–

She poked one of the flailing tendrils.

“Uwaaah!~” Coppelia turned to me at once, excitement lighting up her face as she repeatedly prodded the monster’s appendages. “This! Is! Amazing! It’s so smooth! Weird … but smooth! You should touch it!”

“C-Coppelia!” I said, utterly horrified as a disgusting tendril was conveniently lowered for my benefit. “This is not a plaything to be prodded and poked! It is a monster from the abyss! A creature born of malice and evil! There is no scenario in which I would even consider … it’s so smooth?!”

“I know, right?! It’s a completely new feeling!”

By sheer accident, the tip of my boot poked a glossy tendril. 

I was utterly shocked. 

Why, there was no friction whatsoever! It was like the surface of a pond, sleek enough to make glass silk appear as coarse as dried sand! If such a material could be harvested, it would be sold at a premium!

As I thought this, a giggle resounded.

“I look after my tendrils,” came the voice of the maiden who was no longer there. It filled my mind as much as the cavern, echoing from surface to surface. “Others consider it superfluous. But when meeting new faces, no detail should be left unattended. If I can see a blemish with one eye, I’m certain others can see it with two.”

I nodded in agreement … all the while leaning away.

“A very reasonable opinion, of which more could stand to share in. Not least those of your kind. Why, I was actually taken to understand that overseers were supposed to be more … ?”

“Wrinkly? Oh, yes. You should see the state of my cousins. Each of them with an eye bag darker than the next. Well, not me. Can you guess how old I am?”

“500 years!” said Coppelia.

The hue of the overseer’s skin turned a shade of radish.

“Oh my. That’s quite the compliment. I’m actually touching seven centuries myself, although I still say I’m closer to six.” The floating eyeball nudged its chin towards the basin of water. “My secret, small as it is. I make sure to thoroughly bathe twice a day and night. Nothing beats a daily routine.”

I peered at the body of water with renewed interest. Steam faintly rose from within, although it offered little in the way of bubbles or scent.

“I see no hint of soap. Something naturally in the water, I take it?”

“Quite so. The water is drawn from fissures beneath the mountain, infused with centuries of cleansing minerals and warm enough to soothe the fiercest of wrinkles without scalding. If I may boast a little, my age is actually frequently mistaken. I owe it all to this. My bath is my pride and joy, as it should be for all to possess one.”

For a moment, I acknowledged the floating horror for the only sentiment I could agree with. 

A naturally warming bath was a delight I was amiss to have never considered before. Once I returned to the Royal Villa, I’d see about discreetly having a deep enough hole dug beneath a guest room.

Assuming, of course, that I could navigate past the growing puddle before me.

Thus, I offered a polite smile to match the one before me. That it came with serrated fangs was irrelevant. After all, I was already used to the royal capital’s nobility.

“Excuse me … but are you the Bewitching Oracle?”

“I am, yes.” The eyeball bounced on the spot. A nod. “And goodness, what a pleasure it is to greet you, Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea. How far you’ve come. I regret the lack of welcome. My sanctum makes for a poor impression compared to your kingdom. I’m sad to have never visited. It’s quite famous.”

I raised a brow, my interest piqued as I utterly ignored Coppelia’s sudden coughing fit. 

“Oh? Truly now? And what is it especially famed for in Ouzelia?”

“The rolling hills, the vibrant meadows, the distant mountains and all the fair things in between, of course.”

I clapped my hands in delight.

“Why, those are my thoughts exactly!” I paused. “... Those are my thoughts, aren’t they?”

“Yes.”

I gasped in horror. And then I planted my palm on my forehead. My mind was strictly off-limits!

“I’m very sorry. It’s a natural side effect of my kind. We always hear the shallowest musings of living creatures like a din, just as you would the murmurings in tavern corners. And since there’s no crowd to take away my attention, I cannot help but hear. Even so, I shall try to respect your privacy.”

The tongue flopped to the other side of the horror’s jaw. 

The dribbling was now several more inches away. A courtesy I expected about as much as not immediately facing a ray of pure energy.

“Yes, well … that is very much appreciated, Miss Bewitching Oracle. Indeed, it’s certainly a unique experience to entertain conversation with an overseer from the abyss. So much so that I wonder why you would form a cult or steal a dragon.”

“You wonder because it’s very unlikely. And you’re right to. It’s true I’ve both attributed to my name, but I can assure you I’ve no wish for a single tendril in either ploy. That would be the doing of my jailor.”

My mouth widened in disbelief.

“Your jailor? … Are you saying there’s a bigger overseer here?”

“A bigger overseer would be less of a problem. Despite popular and accurate views on our evil nature, we are also quite familial. No, my jailor is far more problematic than those of my kind. Which is why although I rule the smiles of those who visit me, I do not rule even my own bathtub. I am a prisoner.”

Suddenly, the wisps of dusk which crept through the gaps in the wall darkened. And what replaced them were a hundred incense candles lighting as if ushered to life by a sweep of a flaming brand. 

The corners of the cavern were revealed.

As was the band of shadow which faintly enveloped the overseer’s form. 

Immediately, the monstrous eyeball floated towards the door. It gained only a handful of paces in its direction before an ethereal chain appeared, sending it back into the cavern with a violent tug. 

Its smile was undiminished.

“As you can see, I hope we can help each other. You and I both seek the same thing.”

“I’ve no doubt we do. There are finer baths than this still waiting to be found. But I also seek a dragon.”

“You do. But you also seek to return home. As do I. We are both innocents in someone else’s scheme. We have a shared foe. And to that, I would offer my assistance.”

“Is that so? Goodness, it must be quite the adversary to imprison an overseer from the abyss.”

“It is and it isn’t. Despite all that I am, confrontational is not one of them. I was captured after I came here to experience the joy of these waters. It’s both a mark of my jailer’s black humour and efficiency that I’m chained where I’d sought to be reinvigorated. Now, I can claim no excuse for not seeing out the part I’ve been asked to play.”

I raised a brow.

“A non-confrontational overseer. How curious. And what part, may I ask, is such a rare specimen asked to play other than sending your competitors into the arms of cheese and financial ruin?”

The overseer’s smile broadened. 

A thousand fangs glinted in the candlelight. A grotesque sight beaten only by the common smiles of anyone found behind the reception desk of an adventurer’s guild.

“You wish for answers. I’ll give you more than that. I’ll tell you everything you need to know to end your harrowing quest in Ouzelia. I’ll tell you where your missing dragon is. I’ll tell you about my jailer. And crucially, I’ll provide the means to reach them both. I may be personable, but they are not. Both are hidden away amidst an endless labyrinth within this mountain, deep enough to put minotaurs to shame. Help me and I will help you.”

I gave a curt nod.

“A proposition targeted unsubtly towards my obvious wishes. Yet while I admire your dedication to hygiene, I also intend to leave Ouzelia with little more than a tiny footprint. A cult in my name and no more. Regrettably, I lack the time to deal with the repercussions of releasing an overseer into the world.” 

“There would be no repercussions. Far from it, I only seek to return home and enjoy a well earned respite where none can disturb my own mind. Perhaps after a century, I might venture out to explore the nuances of civilisation.”

“I see … and is that when you might begin murdering everyone?”

A laugh born of warmth and cordiality greeted me, as though I’d shared a jest with an old friend.

“There’s little to risk of that, even should such an admission horrify my peers. Unlike them, my imprisonment has allowed me an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. A rare thing with one eye. But I see many benefits in cultivating friendship with humans. To be the first of my kind to do so. And for your assistance, your kingdom would secure a powerful ally.”

I offered a generous hum.

“That is the worst lie I’ve heard since Coppelia last claimed that my horse ate the only non-squished hazelnut croissant I was saving.”

The clockwork doll in question whistled innocently to the side, all the while playing with the flames of an incense candle.

“It is no lie. Despite my imprisonment, I’ve enjoyed my time dispensing wisdom, for I have learned much in turn from those who sought my guidance.”

I pointed to the side. Beyond a door locked against my exit.

“There is a gathering of nobility there. What guidance could they possibly want, other than which cliffs are discreet enough to push a wealthy uncle off, but also popular enough for the body to be accidentally discovered before it’s pecked apart by blood ravens?”

“Our conversations are often very enlightening. It’s not always about matters of ambition.”

“Please. If they allowed themselves to speak about anything else, they’d already be deposed.”

The overseer’s smile remained fixed. A stillness which gave away the truth more than any admission.

“That’s not true. We sometimes speak about the intricacies of different vest buttons.”

“Yes. And how best to clean the little niggles of blood that constantly gets on them.”

I waved away the coming reply.

“No, there is simply zero scenarios in which one could listen to the drivel of nobility and not wish to go on a murder spree afterwards. I do not blame you for such a desire. On the contrary, I am fully sympathetic. However, the complaints my diplomats would receive afterwards would drown them beneath the heavy workload they are already faced with. I cannot in good conscience further their suffering.”

The floating eyeball almost seemed to deflate.

“That’s a shame. I still hope to change your mind.”

“You cannot. But I’m nothing if not kind, so allow me to make a counter offer. Point a tendril roughly to where I need to go, and I will at least elevate your bathing experience by exporting the most premium bars of soap I have available for your consideration. I guarantee it will be an eye opening experience.”

“Thank you. But I’d prefer to experience the soap at a time and place of my own choosing. And so I will proposition the clockwork doll, whose weapon it is that I require to break the particular nature of these–”

“Nah.”

Coppelia answered alongside a flick of her hand without looking. 

The creature tilted its head slightly.

“You’ve yet to hear my offer. It’s more than directions I can give. Even a dragon’s hoard is little compared to my own, amassed over centuries and stored where no sun can fade them.”

“Yeah, but if you go free, the big guy will bonk me on the head.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Ah. Even after all this time. It is one thing to hear one’s thoughts and another to comprehend them. I speak truly when I say I’ve much to learn. But very well. I shall table an improved offer.”

The smile broadened.

And then–

The creature’s blackened pupil turned crimson, matching the rest of its eye.