NOVEL WEB Chapter 29
The boy looked at me lying down and muttered as if in despair. Then he came over to the sofa, stared intently at my face, and shouted right away.
“Wow, your hair is really white. Are you the famous novelist these days?”
He was a kid with no manners whatsoever. Even knowing who I was and that I was an adult, he spoke informally, which was nothing short of an art.
“How old are you?”
“Me? I’m 16.”
“I’m 28, kid. If you have any common sense, use honorifics.”
“Oh, right. But honestly, no matter how I look at you, I can’t believe you were originally an adult, right? Who would listen to you asking for honorifics with that appearance? You look more like a kid.”
What was this? Was he crazy?
“I’m not originally an adult; I am still an adult, you rude brat.”
“Hey, just be honest. Were you originally an adult or a boy or whatever? Is this a show? Is it a lie? How old are you really? 14? 15?”
“This cheeky brat…”
“Whoa, whoa, calm down. Let’s not do this to each other since we’re in the same industry.”
Earlier, Gu Ji-ye said he was a girl who didn’t match with me. I must correct that. Compared to this clueless kid, Gu Ji-ye seemed like a girl I could get along with. Anyone would think so in comparison to this brat.
I didn’t dislike kids, but this kid claimed to be 16. He was already well-grown and old enough, yet seeing him act so disrespectfully toward adults brought a sigh of exasperation. Of course, I was self-aware enough to recognize that I didn’t look like a respectable adult right now, but didn’t I kindly inform him of my age and that I was originally a boy?
Due to an unusual feeling, I ultimately chose to ignore him. However, this kid was not an ordinary brat. Even when I completely ignored his words and turned away, he kept talking. His non-stop chatter from the side was annoying beyond measure. He was being so loud and foolishly spilling out things about himself that I had no interest in hearing, which had my irritation levels through the roof.
“Don’t you know me? I’ve appeared on TV quite a bit. My name is Ji Kang-hyeon. What was your name again? Seol-guk? Wow, what a strange name. Isn’t that a stage name? You don’t look like it, though. You’re the main character of today’s talk show, right? Are you going to reveal it’s all a show there? I’m going to be on the talk show too. Despite my appearance, I’m a pretty successful actor. I’ve been in movies. Well, that movie flopped hard, though. Still, I’ve appeared in dramas frequently. Haven’t you ever seen any? Did you watch ‘Get Out of the Way, Life’? It was a national drama. Oh, maybe you were too young back then? How about the recent one, ‘Hooray Family’? Isn’t it worth watching? You haven’t seen that either? Wow, you really don’t talk, do you? Am I not handsome? I mean, I’ve got a face that works with girls. Is my face not good? But hey, you’re a bit pretty? You look a bit gloomy because of your makeup, which is a slight minus, but overall, you’re actually okay. Wanna date me?”
“Crazy bastard.”
In the end, he ended up saying things that he could never have said had he known my original appearance. It was true I looked gloomy. Listening to that kid’s words was making me feel more miserable than ever. I ultimately couldn’t hold it in anymore and got up. I stood up, took a deep breath, and exhaled.
“Finally reacting, huh? Hey, where are you going?”
To be honest, I wanted to smack him on the head. But when I stood up and saw his taller height and build, I gave up. With my smaller frame, it would be impossible to take him on.
I decided to just give up and run away. I could find a corner to hide in. Maybe the sudden urge to pee was due to my unnecessary nerves. Since I was heading out, I should stop by the bathroom.
However, when I arrived in front of the bathroom, I found myself hesitating to enter. It was different from my home bathroom. Of course, in places like this, it should be natural to have separate men’s and women’s restrooms…
Which one should I go into? If I accidentally met someone after entering the women’s restroom, I could easily imagine what kind of situation that would create. The women’s restroom was an exception in the first place. So should I go into the men’s restroom? With this appearance?
If I were to go in and meet someone… hmm… thinking about it, this side might actually be better. At least a man wouldn’t report me. If he’s from here, he would probably recognize me, so he wouldn’t say anything.
After thinking it through, it definitely made more sense for me to go into the men’s restroom. The risks of going into the women’s restroom were far higher than going into the men’s restroom.
With that thought, I stepped inside, where a man was taking care of business. He looked at me, froze for a moment, then hurriedly zipped up his pants.
“Hey, what the hell are you?! This is the men’s restroom!”
“I’m a man.”
The man stared at me with a look that said I was talking nonsense, but soon seemed to come to terms with my identity and relaxed.
“Still… shouldn’t you go to the women’s restroom since you’re a woman now?”
The man mumbled as he left. Ignoring his murmurs, I entered a stall to do my business.
I always felt this way, but after becoming a woman, it became difficult to hold in my pee. They say it’s because women have shorter urethras, but everything about being a woman truly irritated me from start to finish.
Even the process of peeing, having to come into the stall to sit down, was incredibly inconvenient.
After taking care of business and washing my hands, I stepped back outside. There stood the man from earlier and that cheeky kid Ji Kang-hyeon.
“Hey, why are you coming out of there? That’s the men’s restroom!”
“I told you I’m a man.”
“With that face?”
With Ji Kang-hyeon snickering, the man beside him spoke.
“This person is indeed a man. Well, technically she’s a woman now, but still.”
“Hyung Hyeok-jin, do you believe that? She’s just putting on a show or something. How can a man turn into a woman? Wow, that’s truly legendary. You even entered the men’s restroom? That’s some next-level concept.”
“I have pictures of this person as a man, do you want to see?”
The guy called Hyok-jin immediately turned on his smartphone and searched for my face. It was an older photo from a past interview. It wouldn’t be hard to find since it’s probably been posted all over every community by now.
“Wow, is she some kind of actress? But she does resemble a guy. Is she your sister?”
“Ah, damn it.”
In the end, it had been a while since I’d uttered such a curse. Was it the last time I cursed God? Right now that guy felt like a god to me, in that he was such a sh*tty existence.
“Um, I’m sorry. The kid is still immature. I’m Gong Hyeok-jin, Kang-hyeon’s manager. Hey, it’s time for you to go.”
“Is she not coming?”
“She’ll come later. And she really was a man.”
With that, the brat who had been getting under my skin left with his manager. I felt heat rising to my head.
I would just have to wait in the waiting room until it was my turn. I’d cool my head until then.
~
Slowly taking deep breaths to clear my mind, what came to mind was Jin Seo-hye. In the end, I would have to apologize to that woman. I had already prepared myself for it, but I was not sure if I could apologize well in truth. It was an apology that rejected even my dignity.
Honestly, I still didn’t know why I needed to apologize. What did I do wrong? Of course, outing was a crime. But didn’t the other side do it first? I was the one who was victimized first; was there any reason for me to apologize to them?
I understood it was an extremely childish reason. It was an immature response. Perhaps it had been the problem of responding in the same manner.
But no one could deny that it was the most effective method of revenge.
Yet ultimately, that action from that time had come back to me, forcing me into a situation where I had to apologize.
I didn’t want to. But I had to.
If I did, perhaps I could live a comfortable life going forward.
Maybe everything would turn out well.
But….
But was that really me?
Could I truly see myself as the one who apologized?
The one who discarded my beliefs, concealed my thoughts, and hid my true feelings to give such an apology?
Was I not selling something precious within me in exchange for this apology?
Worry, fear, and anxiety enveloped me.
But I couldn’t turn back now.
There was no going back.
In the end, I had to apologize to that woman.
If I caused a scene here, I wouldn’t even have the face to see Ham Yejin. At least I had that much dignity.
Yeah, let’s think lightly of it. Let’s just think of it as writing a short story. A short story filled with deception and lies.
The only difference was one.
My stories had always been about truth, while this one was just a lie.
And soon, the time had come.
“Seol-guk, it’s time.”
~
I walked slowly to the filming location. Up close, I could see the camera, various equipment, and people.
Turning my head to look inside the filming area, I found one chair prepared for me and an MC along with other cast members beside it.
It was not yet time to step in front of the camera.
According to the script, the MC would shout here.
And soon, I heard that voice.
“Now, today’s guest is! The topic of the moment that’s heating up the entire nation of Korea! The writer of the best-selling novel ‘The Boy’s Uterus’! And known as a patient with the extremely rare condition of sudden gender dysphoria! That person!”
Now
“Please welcome, novelist Seol-guk!”
It was my turn.
I walked slowly and stood there.
Looking at the camera,
I spoke.
“Hello, I’m novelist Seol-guk.”
Then I bowed my head in greeting.
“Nice to meet you.”
Applause erupted among the cast members.