The 'Smart'phone Saga: A Distracted Journey of Spells and Signals

Breakfast was on the go as Jasson raced to charge his phone, bursting from the fort and nearly tripping on a shard of lumber. Jasson stumbled, barely catching both himself and his breakfast as he skipped to a stop and looked around. The golf tee-like defensive structures lay shredded and scorched across the town square, as if torn apart by a series of lightning bolts that absolutely hated wood.

Jasson dropped his toast.

“Petra!” Jasson called into the keep, “Clara! You-uh…you gotta see this.”

“Woah…”

Pinesmoke hung in the air like a Souls-game fog and Jasson could barely make out the other side of the square. A thousand Boy Scout campfires wrung Jasson’s nose as his eyes started to water and he coughed. Yet there was no burning sensation from his lungs, nor was it getting harder to breathe.

Wait a second. Jasson thought. Do I not have asthma anymore?! Sick!

“There you are!” Lord Ippoph hurried up to them, “Where were you?! We lost all of our defenses last night! We can’t even rebuild since Scotty is incapacitated and our entire true-lumber supply went up in smoke! Literally! Why didn’t you do anything?!”

“The town was attacked?” Petra said. “But we didn’t hear a thing.”

“Obviously!” Lord Ippoph said, sighing and wringing his hands, “No one heard anything. It was completely by surprise!”

Lord Ippoph motioned to where the defenses had been, saying “Someone quite strong wanted to destroy our defenses, and they did so without raising a single alarm. Clever that they’d destroy our aerial defenses. I shall have Ellie pivot back to the raid lights at night and authorize a guard unit to escort Scotty up to the hot springs. Perhaps he will recover from building the wall in time to rebuild. Of course, first we must resume logging operations to the north and fix the carts before- oh…I do hope that we don’t get attacked by anything too destructive. It would take years to rebuild if it was another swarm of wyverns. Or worse, a dragon! We’d have to abandon the city and-”

“You make it sound like whoever the enemy is can control monsters,” Jasson said, “Is that…likely?”

“It is not unheard of,” Lord Ippoph said, “In fact, I believe that there is a terrorist organization that specializes in monster attacks. I have been blessed by the ten gods not to have had to deal with them, so I don’t know much more. But since this was a systematic destruction of our aerial and ground defenses…well we might have to activate the old devices. But it does cost so much money…”

“Old devices?” Petra said, “Do you have an Aegis here?!”

“An ancient one, yes.” Lord Ippoph said, “So it only takes Natural Mana crystals for power. Abysmal prices for those. Thankfully the Natural Elemental Crystals in the device bear no signs of wearing out, not that we’d know how to replace them if they did.”

“And you haven’t used it yet?!” Petra stalked up to Lord Ippoph, “You’ve been risking the lives of your entire population when you've had an Ancient Ageis all along?! Why?!”

Lord Ippoph straightened, doing his best to tower over the shorter Petra. This effect was rather spoiled by his nervous fiddling and the strange amount of sweat dripping from him. It had not been a good day for Lord Ippoph.

“Young woman,” Lord Ippoph said, “I’m sure you read of Agei in your books, but I can assure you it’s more complicated than tha-”

Petra glared, looming over Lord Ippoph’s diminutive personality as she said, “Insert the Mana Crystals at a forty-five-degree angle. One clockwise turn for every hundred feet of radius. A nearly impenetrable shield will form around the city and surrounding area, depending on the strength of the mana crystals and settings within the machine itself. It’s your choice to sacrifice your citizen’s lives instead of making the ‘complicated’ choice, which certainly has nothing to do with the complexity of the process itself.”

“Yes, well,” Lord Ippoph said, dabbing at his sweat, “It’s easy in theory. What’s not easy is the increase of taxes required to pay for twenty-five thousand gold worth of crystals. Even you must ag-”

“And you don’t have extras on hand?!” Petra said, “You’re just…hoping that you don’t have to use it? When was the last time you even checked if it worked?!”

Lord Ippoph glanced around, and Jasson saw that no one was listening.

“I don’t like your tone,” Lord Ippoph said, “I replaced the crystals twenty years ago, and the machine has worked perfectly well for thousands of years. There’s no need to waste money testing it every ten years. Now enough. The matter is finished. I expect you four to-”

“EVERY TEN-” Petra spun away from Lord Ippoph and stalked into town, “I’m going. Somewhere. Harriett, come on. We’ll head to that cave afterward.”

“Wait,” Clara hurried after Petra, “you need to come with us! We need a change of plans!”

“Absolutely not!” Petra said, stalking further, “The idiot can sing on his own. I’m not doing that again!”

“Hold on,” Clara waved to Jasson, “Go on ahead to the cave. You too, Harriett. We’ll catch up.”

Jasson nodded dumbly. Lord Ippoph turned to Jasson and said “I need you to gather lumber from the forest to the north. We must rebuild our defenses with true-lumber as quickly as possible.”

“What’s true lumber?” Jasson said.

Lord Ippoph glanced at Petra’s disappearing back and sighed, turning back to Jasson.

“True-lumber is just normal wood,” Lord Ippoph said, “The wall you saw surrounding the town is created by mana, and is fleeting in existence. Even if the wall hadn’t been destroyed today, it would have disappeared in three days without Scotty’s intervention. He’s a treasure to this town, despite his…excentricities. Oh…I do hope he recovers quickly…”

“Well, I hope you pay him well.” Jasson said, sidling past Lord Ippoph, “and..ah…I’ll get back to you about those trees.”

“Be sure to gather at least one hundred trees of lumber,” Lord Ippoph said, “It’s the least you could do to make up for not stopping what happened last night. Just don’t take them all from the same area.”

Yeah, right. Jasson thought. We have less than a week here. I don’t have time for side quests.

****

“This isn’t satisfying!” Harriett whined, “Come on! Can’t these be any heavier?!”

“They’re literally floating blocks,” Jasson said, “be glad that they have any weight at all.”

Pop!

“Okay,” Harriet sighed, scooping up the next block, “I’ll bear with this humiliation.”

“That’s more like it,” Jasson said, “How many have you picked up?”

Pop!

“I don’t know,” Harriet said, “not enough.”

“Well, you have a limit,” Jasson said, “Besides, it could be dangerous with how it phased through Clara. Best stay safe. You wouldn’t want to lose your fingers to a tiny cube, would you?”

Pop!

“Absolutely not,” Harriett slung the bag over her shoulder, “Should I take a look outside the cave while I’m gone? Should only take a minute.”

“Sure.” Jasson said, “See if you can find Petra and Clara. I’m glad we marked the next tunnel on the wall, but I’d like to know if I’m going the right way.”

“She said it was this way and down.” Harriett said, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Not much,” Jasson admitted, completing the jinx, “Even if I miss, I’ll be close.”

Harriett waved goodbye before blurring away, and Jasson took to singing as he mined. He still had around half his battery. Maybe he should buy the extra battery tomorrow? The extra twenty percent could be handy and would let him go just a bit farther than-

“Wait…” Jasson said, finishing the next three feet of progress, “Is that…water?”

Jasson tried to pinpoint the sound, a loud burbling that seemed to echo through the tunnel, and stepped forward onto the space of tunnel he’d just finished clearing.

CRACK!

The floor disappeared, and Jasson flailed and flung his phone as he scrambled to catch himself on the passing ground. Jasson just managed to dig his fingers into the stone as the sound of rushing water filled the feral parts of Jasson’s mind, nearly drowning his sense of reason.

“HELP!!!” Jasson screamed, “HEEEELP!!!”

Jasson slipped and his heels dipped into freezing water, the rapids hauling at Jasson’s shoes. Jasson dug his chin into the stone and clawed desperately, tearing his fingernails against the stone as he pulled himself one miraculous inch closer to safety.

I’m not going to die! Jasson thought. Not this way, not this soon!

“AEAEEAAUU!” Jasson tore his throat as he ripped his fingers against the stone, pulling his feet free of the water. The next inch came easier without the river tearing at him, and Jasson panted and dug his chin into the stone again. He could do this! He could-

Crack!

The floor beneath Jasson’s chin crumpled away, and Jasson felt a sharp pain as his entire body weight came down on his nose. White flashed across his vision before heartless waters consumed Jasson.

“Warning.” The voice in his head piped up for the first time in a week. “Lethal situation imminent. Emergency measu-”

The river threw Jasson against a rock, and everything went black. (Well, blacker. It wasn’t terribly bright in an underground river.)

****

It could be said that Petra was quick of temper, but what takes heat easily must then release it easily. Clara got Petra to calm down within a few minutes of her stalking off, although she could be described as still scalding in temperature.

“It’s an Aegis!” Petra said for the tenth time, taking a bite of bread Clara had gotten, “A real *&%#*&^ Aegis! And not one of the new ones! And it’s being just…neglected! I have half a mind to seize this town for ourselves and rebuild our House here.”

Petra looked around guiltily to see if anyone was there. The two of them were approaching the walls, which lay shredded and scattered across the field. Some chunks remained intact, but not enough to be considered anything beyond a detour. Portions were still on fire, but the smoke was starting to clear as they left town.

“It wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” Clara said, “An Ancient Aegis is a heck of a lot better than what we’ll have at the mansion one day. And the mountains here provide an excellent defensive bulwark against any invading force.”

Petra snorted and said, “You know full well that they wouldn’t send an army after us. Just some quiet shadows. Or monsters, like they already have.”

Clara nodded and said, “Hard for an Aegis to work when they’re already inside the barrier, sending lizard men up from a hive in the sewers.”

Petra said, “Yup. This is too much space for us to defend to that level, even if we have the cooperation of the citizens.”

“We might be able to guarantee peace with Jasson’s ability,” Clara said, “An ‘If you don’t leave us alone we’ll turn your city into dust and shadow’ kinda thing.”

Petra laughed and said, “That’s unusually dark for you Clara. But no, I don’t have the hear-”

Suddenly Clara bolted to the side, pulling a stunned Petra behind her like a disgruntled flag as she dashed back into the city. Petra’s head spun but she knew better than to fight back against her twin. Once they were nestled between crates behind a building, Petra waited for Clara to explain herself. Still, she couldn’t keep the dread from souring her breakfast with bile. There was only one real reason for Clara to do this, and Petra fiddled nervously with the crystals on her gloves.

“be ready to run on three,” Clara whispered, “one…two…”

The pause stretched as Petra prepared herself to sprint, tiny healing crystal ready as she forced herself not to hold her breath.

“Th-”

Petra tensed, ready to bolt when Clara pushed them both to the ground. They lay, frozen on the ground for what felt like an eternity before Clara started to crawl away. Petra followed closely, forcing herself not to spit out the dust she’d gotten in her mouth. They crept deeper into the city, and Petra breathed hard. She knew exactly who it was. She’d caught a glimpse of them.

“All right,” Clara whispered, standing up, “I think we can talk now.”

“What the *&^%?!” Petra said, dusting herself off and massaging a scrape, “Why are they here?! Them personally?!”

“I know, right?” Clara shook her head, then tested a house’s door handle. It swung open and they walked in, “I thought that it was just a representative I saw at first. Thankfully they were carrying that stupid banner, so I don’t think they saw us.”

“But it’s so random!” Petra said, “I understand if they showed up in Stalt, but Smill?! And in person?!”

“Maybe they’re not here for us.” Clara said, “Jasson did gather quite a bit of attention. A great mage in any city would be worth a detour.”

“But what if they ask about us?!” Petra said, “It’s not as if there’s a lot of identical twins with an earth mage and berserker!”

“I don’t think they noticed my berserker,” Clara said, “but…you’re right. Makes me wish I could eavesdrop on them.”

“Harriett would be perfect,” Petra said, “And we could fit in her bag.”

“Unless she was the one that tipped them off,” Clara said darkly.

“Don’t get like that,” Petra said, “It’s not good for you. That Ippoph kid is more likely than Harriett. We’ll just have to find a way out of this.”

“Or win,” Clara said, “I only saw two of them.”

“If they’re here for us then there’s more,” Petra said, “With one watching the skies. And a battle here would cause too much collateral damage. I doubt that there’d be much of a town left.”

Clara nodded and sighed, saying “Thanks for grounding me, sis. Still…I better keep out of sight of them. You know how I am when I’m in a rage.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Petra said, “For right now, let’s focus on heading out to the cave to regroup. Get Jasson and Harriett, then regroup. We have enough supplies for three days if we stretch things with the four of us, and I doubt that they could find us in these mountains.”

“What if we get lost?” Clara said, “We won’t be able to just fly out, they’ll be watching the skies.”

“One step at a time,” Petra said, “For now, let’s focus on just-”

Knock-knock-knock