The Silence Of Lost Feelings

The days after that conversation hung heavy for both of them. While Lumen continued his life in a haze of unspoken regrets, Lina began to make a quiet but definite shift. The weight of Lumen's words, his lie, and the pain that followed began to solidify into a decision. She couldn't keep waiting for something that wasn't coming, not when every smile, every lingering glance from him only led to more confusion. She had made up her mind: she would move on: as she didn't see through his lie.

It wasn't easy, of course. There were moments when she found herself staring at her phone, willing herself to text him, to reach out and bridge the gap. But each time she picked up her phone, she would hesitate, her fingers lingering over the screen. The truth of his rejection was too fresh, too real, and the thought of asking for more—when he had already lied to her—was too painful.

Instead, she let herself be swept up in the attention of someone else. Someone who was eager to be around her, someone who didn't hesitate to show his affection. Jun, a classmate from her history class, had always been kind to her, but lately, his interest had become much more obvious. It started with small gestures: offering to carry her books, walking her to class, buying her coffee without her asking. At first, Lina had been polite but indifferent. She wasn't sure how to respond to someone else's affection when her heart was still tangled up in Lumen's.

But as the days passed and Lumen kept his distance, not confronting the changes between them, Jun's presence became a comforting distraction. His attentiveness, his compliments, the way he genuinely seemed to care for her—it was a balm for the emotional wounds she had been nursing in silence. It was a way to fill the space that had been left open by Lumen's indifference, by his silence.

Lumen, oblivious to the subtle shift in Lina, continued on as if everything were fine. He didn't notice how Lina's laughter seemed different now when Jun was around, or how she no longer lingered after class like they used to, chatting about anything and everything. He was too caught up in his own head, too focused on his belief that their friendship remained untouched by the silence and the lie.

At lunch one day, Lumen sat with the same group of friends, feeling the usual camaraderie, but something felt off. He glanced around the cafeteria, searching for Lina's familiar figure. When he spotted her, his stomach twisted.

She was sitting at a table across the room, laughing with Jun, her face glowing with a warmth that made his chest tighten. Jun's arm was casually draped over the back of her chair, and Lina leaned in to say something, her hand brushing against his. The gesture seemed so natural, so effortless, and Lumen's heart sank. He wanted to look away, to dismiss the growing ache in his chest, but he couldn't. His friends didn't notice anything as his expression was always hard to read. He always wears that calm and composed expression at most but inside he's different.

Why was she so... happy? So open with him? Lumen knew that the answer wasn't complicated—it was the lie. He had lied to her. He had turned his back on what could have been, choosing to keep his feelings locked away, choosing the safety of avoiding the risk.

But the consequences were real. He had given her no choice but to move on, to accept the attention of someone else. And as Lumen watched her laugh with Jun, a cold realization settled over him: he had lost her.

He hadn't confronted her after the day of the question or rather the indirect confession he missed. He hadn't tried to talk about what had happened, or offered an apology. He hadn't made any effort at all to change anything, to show her that his feelings were real. Instead, he had let the silence linger, assuming that it would somehow resolve itself. But now, seeing Lina with someone else, the full weight of his inaction hit him.

Lumen stood up, no longer hungry, ready to leave, the reality of his mistake settling deep within him. He had taken her for granted. He had thought that their friendship was strong enough to weather anything, even his own hesitations. But now, he saw the cracks. He saw how she was slipping away from him, and it wasn't because of a third person. It was because of him and him only.

Later that afternoon, Lumen walked through the halls, his thoughts a jumbled mess. He tried to focus, tried to push the image of Lina and Jun from his mind, but the more he tried to ignore it, the more he realized how much it hurt. And yet, he still couldn't bring himself to confront her, to ask what was going on between them. What was there to say?

He had made his choice, or rather, had failed to make a choice at all. He had hoped that Lina would stay, would wait for him to figure things out. But Lina wasn't someone who could be left in limbo. She needed someone who would be present, who would take the chance, who would meet her halfway. And Lumen had failed her in every way possible.

The next day, Lina walked past him in the hallway, her eyes briefly meeting his. She smiled, but it wasn't the same smile he remembered. There was no warmth behind it, no spark. Just a polite acknowledgment. A simple greeting.

"Hey, Mun."

"Hey," he replied, his voice quiet, unsure.

She didn't stop to talk. She didn't linger like she used to. She just kept walking, her laughter echoing down the hall as she caught up with Jun. Lumen stood there, frozen in place, watching her go. And in that moment, he realized that he was too late.

Her choice had been made.

---