The Silence Of Lost Feelings

The air had grown heavier with unspoken words as the days passed. Lina couldn't shake the feeling that something needed to change. The quiet, lingering tension between her and Lumen had become almost unbearable. They had always been able to talk about anything, but lately, the silences between them seemed to stretch on endlessly. Every time she looked at him, there was a flutter in her chest, a pull she couldn't deny. She had tried to push those feelings aside, convincing herself that they were just a phase, but deep down, she knew better.

She had watched him, as always, with a mix of admiration and something more, something she had tried to ignore for too long. It wasn't just friendship anymore—it hadn't been for a while. The more she tried to bury her emotions, the louder they became, until she couldn't stand it any longer.

It was a quiet afternoon, just before school let out for the day. The courtyard was nearly empty, a few students lingering by the benches, chatting softly. Lina found Lumen sitting alone, staring absently at his phone, his mind clearly elsewhere. She could see the usual signs—the distant look in his eyes, the way he absentmindedly tapped his fingers against the screen. He seemed lost in his thoughts, as he often did.

Taking a deep breath, Lina walked over to him. The words she had been rehearsing in her head for days felt foreign, but the weight of them pressed on her chest. She had to know. It had to be out in the open, even if it hurt.

The courtyard buzzed with the usual hum of chatter, but for Lina, the world seemed to fall away, leaving only Lumen. Every moment felt heavy, weighted by the words she had yet to speak. She had tried to ignore it—the growing tension, the flutter in her chest whenever he was near, the quiet yearning she couldn't shake. But today, standing before him, the truth was undeniable. She had to know. She couldn't live in this quiet uncertainty any longer.

Lumen, however, was lost in the comfort of his own thoughts, staring absently at his phone, the light from the screen illuminating his face in an almost ghostly way. He had always been hard to read, even for her. But there was something different now, something she could no longer ignore.

"Mun," she began, her voice trembling slightly despite her best effort to remain steady. "Do you by chance have anyone you like?"

He looked up at her, blinking as if her words had startled him. The question, so simple, so direct, felt like it had broken through a layer of tension that had been building for weeks. His heart stuttered in his chest as he searched her face, as if trying to find some clue as to why she was asking. Why now?

"What's with the question?" he asked, his voice a little too casual, but his eyes betraying the wariness he was trying to mask.

Lina hesitated, taking a slow breath. She hadn't planned for this moment to feel so monumental, but now that it was here, it felt like it would change everything.

"I just need to know," she said, her voice soft but insistent. "Please, Mun. Just tell me. It could be our secret, okay? No one has to know. But I can't keep guessing. I need to know."

Lumen's stomach twisted. The sincerity in her voice, the way she was looking at him—it all felt too much. This wasn't just about an answer anymore. This was about everything between them. And he wasn't ready for it. Not for the truth of it, not for the possibility that she might not feel the same.

His mind raced, trying to find the right words. His usual responses, the ones that kept his emotions neatly tucked away, seemed useless now. He opened his mouth, but the words that came out weren't the ones he wanted to say.

"I... I do like someone," he said, his voice catching slightly, "a senior. You know, someone older."

The lie hung in the air like a thick fog. The moment he spoke, something in him recoiled. He could feel the weight of the falsehood pressing down on him. He wasn't sure why he said it, or why he had to lie. But he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth—not when it meant risking everything he had with her, everything he was too afraid to admit.

Lina's heart dropped at his words, and she blinked, trying to keep her expression neutral, trying to mask the sting of his response. But inside, the ache was overwhelming. A senior. Someone older. The answer stung in ways she hadn't prepared for.

It wasn't the senior that hurt—it was the fact that Lumen hadn't said anything about her. He hadn't said that maybe, just maybe, the person he liked could have been her. And in that moment, the fragile hope she had clung to seemed to shatter quietly, piece by piece.

She tried to smile, a gesture that felt like it was being ripped from her with each passing second. "Okay," she said, her voice forced but steady. "I get it. A senior. Well, I hope she makes you happy, Mun." She forced a smile to look natural.

Her own words felt hollow, echoing back at her like a cruel joke. The "secret" that she had so desperately wanted to share with him, to make them closer, to bridge the gap that had grown between them, had only led to a painful silence.

Lumen's gaze shifted to the ground, his hands trembling slightly as he fumbled with his phone. He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologize, to take the words back, but the silence between them was deafening. His inability to convey his own feelings hit the situation.The moment was slipping away, unraveling with every second that passed. He had hurt her, and there was no way to undo it now.

Lina turned away before he could speak, her steps slow but deliberate. Each one felt like a lifetime as she walked away from him. She didn't want to break down, didn't want him to see how much his lie had stung, how deeply it had cut. She couldn't show him that weakness, not when everything inside her wanted to scream at him that she had wanted him to say something else. Something true. Something real.

As she walked, the tears that had threatened to fall earlier began to blur her vision. She wiped them away quickly, forcing herself to keep moving, to get as far away from him as possible before her composure cracked completely.

Lumen stood frozen, his heart aching with the realization that he had lost her. Not to anyone else—not yet—but to his own insecurities. He had tried to protect himself from what he feared most, but in doing so, he had pushed her further away. She had trusted him with a question that had been hanging between them for so long, and he had lied to her.

He watched her disappear into the distance, and for the first time, the weight of what he had done hit him. He had lost his chance. The truth he had been too afraid to speak, the truth that might have brought them closer, had slipped through his fingers. And now, he didn't know if he would ever be able to get it back.

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