The Shadows Within

Clenching my hands, I got up from the cold floor, shifting my gaze towards the pool. Luckily, the shadows dissipated as soon as I was on my feet. Clasping my hands onto my chest, I could feel my body quivering.

What was that?

Once again, I glanced around, thinking someone would come in after that display, but no one did.

Damnation or salvation…

There was no doubt in my mind I was their death. Even if they were demons, they didn’t deserve it. Not when they hadn’t done a single thing to hurt me.

“I have to get out of here,” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

Before I explode again… and hurt them… I don’t want to kill anyone else.

Taking some deep breaths, I shook my head.

I can’t allow myself to hurt anyone else. For once… can I not destroy everything I touch?

“Shit… I got to get a grip.” I sighed, wiping my face.

Slowly, I took off all my bloody clothes before heading to the nearby shower stall. Turning on the water, I was surprised by how warm it was. Beside the stall was a glass bottle with what smelled like soap.

It was lavender, though thanks to the miasma, it was difficult to tell it apart. Watching the bloodstains being washed away from my skin brought me no relief. Yet I refused to break again, not if it meant those shadows would come out again.

Biting onto my lower lip, I noticed what that goblin had left on my arm: a silver-colored bracelet. It was simple but hexagon-shaped with a water droplet in the middle. Touching it, it appeared like any other jewelry, but the moment I tried to remove it, I couldn’t.

It had nothing to unclip, and trying to rip it off wasn’t working either.

“What the hell is this?!” I grumbled, struggling, but it didn’t budge.

A soft groan left me, rolling my eyes.

Is this fucking magic or something?

Shaking my head, I focused on washing my body before leaving the stall and drying myself with a towel near the clothes before putting them on. The cloth was made of silk, making it soft on my skin.

I didn’t know how to feel about it since I never had fancy clothes. No, everything I wore came from cheap stores that broke in a wash or two. Even my underwear and socks always had holes, much like the ones I have taken off.

This was the first time in years I wore something without imperfections, prompting me to feel odd. Especially when looking in the mirror, I didn’t recognize myself.

These are too beautiful for me.

The gown had long sleeves, fur ends at the bottom, and a collar reaching the middle of my neck. It was warmer than what I had on. I was so used to feeling cold that feeling else was strange.

Winters usually didn’t bother me since my father had removed the heater from my room to save money. I got out of the bathroom and saw the goblin waiting for me. Rizak had left, probably summoned by the demon king.

“Are you done, M’lady?” the little thing asked.

I couldn’t understand why I feared it in the first place. Even though these monsters were terrifying-looking, they were more civil than ordinary people.

“Sylvia,” I mumbled, clasping onto my arm.

Yet, I still couldn’t bring myself to trust them. Sadly, I couldn’t help but feel they would drop me like everyone else if I let them in, but at least they could call me by my name.

“Excuse me?” it tilted its head.

Its eyes were uniformly red and glossy. There was no trace of a human within it, yet behind all of that was a sentient being, and it deserved to be treated with dignity—at least until it showed its true colors.

“My name… is Sylvia.” I clarified, shifting my glance toward the floor again.

“Oh, my lady. Mine’s Nyla.” It smiled, clapping her hands.

A female?!

I couldn’t tell before, but the more I studied her, the more her mannerisms appeared to be like one.

“I see. Thank you for the clothes. You got them for me, right?” I asked, clasping onto the gown.

How can something like her have eyes for something so pretty? No… That’s wrong.

“Oh yes, yes! The king picked out many clothes for you. Well, he had the Arachne make plenty of all sizes, too. But gosh, you’re beautiful without all that gunk on you. Lord Finn will be speechless!” She giggled, leaving me feeling sick to my stomach.

Finn… he… arg… no…

“I’m sure he couldn’t care less about how I look.” I sighed, remembering the way he gazed at me before.

I was nothing more than a bug in his eyes.

No, all that bastard wants from me is…

“Well, he’ll marry you even if you look like me. So, yes, he doesn’t care how you look. I mean, look at us. We all used to be humans. So, we can’t judge, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have the appearance of a queen,” she smiled.

Why…

I didn’t know how to answer her anymore, so I followed her a floor to a room. There were two, though, and they were right before each other.

“The king’s bedroom’s right in front of you. And I’ll be your personal servant if you need anything. I've got great hearing, so call me, and I shall appear.” Nyla assured me.

Once again, I didn’t know what to say. It was too bad that the entire place appeared run down and untaken care of.

“Thanks, I’ll be fine.” I sighed, going for the doorknob.

This room probably isn’t any better. If I have a bed, it’ll be better than my actual home.

However, before I could get to it, Nyla grabbed me by my hand, handing me a small bell. Her hands, although rough to the touch, were gentle. I hadn’t noticed before, but she had a small patch of brown hair on her head.

“If you need anyone to listen to you. I’ll be here, M’lady. So, please don’t hesitate to—” she continued, only for me to interrupt her.

“Please, just call me Sylvia,” I mumbled, dragging my feet in every step.

A soft nod came from her, retreating her hands away. She wore a small dress, too.

Why didn’t I notice anything before? Then again, it was all dark.

“Well, Sylvia, have a pleasant evening. If you get hungry, let me know.” She smiled, tugging away from me.

Opening the door, the first thing that hit me was the light. Unlike all the other rooms, this one was completely clear. Not only that, but it had much more than a bed; it had everything a girl could want.

There was a single window, but it probably had some magic lock after my unsuccessful escape. That king wouldn’t give me an easy out. A soft sigh left my lips, turning my gaze towards the bed, which had sheets and covers made of fur; the pillows were made of silk.

Is it the start of winter here, too?

The air was chilly, but it wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to. The room’s décor was feminine, leaving me to wonder who did it. Its colors were light pinks and other lighter tones of red. The wood around, though, was dark brown.

The bedding was all different colors, grey and white. They filled the wardrobe with beautiful clothes, too.

Huh? They’re all my size. I guess Nyla and her helpers did this. But why…?

Their speed, though, was amazing. This place was so different from what I was used to. Warmth radiated from everywhere I looked.

Why waste this much effort on me?

Feeling defeated, I gazed towards the bed. The only thing that was left was for me to fall asleep. Laying on the bed, I found myself sobbing again, haunted by everything that had happened. Turning my glance to my side, it was like my father was there lying beside me with his head bashed in.

You’re last words…

They would stay with me for an eternity.

I’m sorry! Please! Stop! You’re killing me!

Those words didn’t stop me. Nothing would after he tried to rob me of the one thing I could give to who I wanted. It didn’t matter that he was drunk out of his mind and probably wasn’t even fully there.

The moment you were off of me, I… I’m no victim.

If I were, I would’ve run away when I knocked him off me, but I didn’t. No, I keep plunging that lampstand onto his head like all the years of fury that I stored in me exploded. By the time I got winded, it was too late.

My father was barely recognizable. At that point, no one would believe it was self-defense—perhaps the first two blows, but not the twentieth. Not when I splashed his brains all over the wall, like a grotesque painting.

Realizing what I had done made me puke right where I was.

“Fuck! Fuck! What did I do?!” My voice didn’t sound like mine.

No, it was heavy and short of breath, triggering me to run into the bathroom to get a grip. Splashing my face with water, I tried to control my breathing, only to notice how much blood was around me.

I was an utter mess, too. My clothes were ripped from when he tried...

If you won’t be useful! Then, at least be a woman for me! His words rang in my ears, causing me to throw the trashcan into the mirror.

It shattered, prompting glass to rain on the floor.

“You should have left me alone! This is all your fault!” I screamed, stomping my way around our apartment.

Everything hurt from the beating he gave me. I was used to it, but not to this extent. It felt like he was going to kill me if he didn’t get his way. Usually, he avoided hitting my face.

Not this time.

My lip was broken, and my eyes were almost swollen shut. This had been the worst one he had ever given me. In the storm in my mind, thoughts finally formed while lying in the comfiest bed I had ever experienced.

Why did I even do that for? I should’ve let you do what you wanted! Maybe then I wouldn’t be feeling like this!

My eyes soon felt heavy from staring at the stone wall and crying. It wasn’t long before my consciousness was consumed in a dreamless state. There was no way to know what the morning would bring.