The Shadows Within

Brielle’s eyes shone brightly before dimming at Finn’s command.

“Yes, M’lord.” She muttered, leaving behind her master.

The owl gazed at me, shaking his head, while the goblin watched the king leave. It stayed by the door, glancing towards the owl and me.

“Girl, why do you want to make enemies?” He asked, leaving me feeling hollow inside.

It wasn’t like I wanted enemies. No one ever saw value in me or cared enough to get to know me, and those few who did quickly left me once they knew who my parents were.

Well, I’m sure they aren’t that different here.

“There’s no such thing as friends or family,” I answered, clenching my fists and biting my lip.

For someone like me, such a thing didn’t exist. Everyone who ever dared to call themselves my friend abandoned me the moment they learned I was the daughter of a serial rapist.

How did they figure it out?

Well, my mom’s case was the one that put my biological father in jail. He got sloppy, and she managed to get away. So, there were public records of who she was and who I was.

I’m living proof it happened.

However, this was a different world or planet.

Will they find out?

It would come out anyway.

Evelyn’s here, too. Probably everyone else already knows.

I could already imagine her calling me a devil’s spawn to all the others back in that basement.

“You know, I think you and the lord will be great friends if you let it happen.” The owl announced, making me scoff at the thought.

“There isn’t a world where that would happen. Friends aren’t my thing.” I sighed, clasping onto my chest.

The iron taste was still in my mouth, along with the warmth his lips left on me. It was warm and...

Why… did you kiss me so gently?

I didn’t notice when I reached for my lips—something the owl noted for different reasons.

“By the way, you need to drink your antidote daily.” He announced, walking towards me.

Wait! Do I have to kiss him every day?!

“W-what?” I stumbled out.

“If it comes from our king, it’ll be easier for you.” The crazy bird continued, leaving me flustered.

“Wait, I can’t follow you! I’ve got to kiss him every day?! If not, I’ll become a demon?!” I yelped, feeling like my head was spinning.

Sadly, the bird wouldn’t make it better.

“Yes. Well, you don’t have to kiss him. You can drink his blood, saliva, or semen, too. It has to be ingested or, well, uh, kept in your lady hole.” He informed me.

I felt my heart drop.

“What?!” I squealed, eyes twitching.

Death couldn’t come for me sooner.

A soft chuckle left the owl. “A kiss or ingesting his fluids will last around twelve hours. But if you have sex with him, it can last up to three days. I would say four, but let’s stay within the safety window.”

That’s even worse, you bird brain!

“You know what. I think I’ll become a demon instead.” I huffed.

That was when I suddenly felt the hair on my body rise again.

The owl gazed at me coldly as his king had. “I’ll forgive you for being ignorant, but I doubt you want to spend hundreds of years like an animal.”

My voice refused to leave me as his gaze pierced through my soul.

“Your only purpose as a fresh demon is to seek and kill everything you see. All while thoughts of your past life torture you.” The owl scoffed, turning away from me.

Even though I knew nothing of what he spoke about, it sounded like they were in constant agony by just breathing, and that was enough to make me tremble where I was. The last thing I wanted was more pain.

No, I only wished for peace, which wouldn’t come if I became what they were.

“This curse will make you lose your reason for being. Most of us still don’t have it. Do you even know what it is to be rabid? Or to have an uncontrollable thirst for flesh and blood?” The owl stopped, noticing he was startling me.

I knew nothing of these people. Yet I judged them anyway.

Am I any different from…

Even though it felt like there was a knot in my throat, “Fuck…” I mumbled.

A soft hum left his lips, crossing his feathered arms. I had to be better than everyone who did the same to me. Especially to someone who hadn’t done a single thing to me.

“What’s your name?” I asked, shifting my glance away from him.

They didn’t deserve my attitude. At least this owl didn’t, and the king saved me from a fate worse than death, even if I didn’t want to admit it.

“My name’s Rizak, young one. Shall we show you to your room? I know it’s been a long day for you.” He pointed towards the goblin by the door.

A soft sigh left me, nodding. Fighting was useless; the best way to engage in this was with knowledge, which I severely lacked. The owl walked over to the small goblin, who nodded, waiting for me to follow them.

“Hey… how old are you all?” I continued to inquire, stepping towards them.

“I’ve lost count of the years. We’re immortal to everything but the saint’s magic.” He answered.

So that’s why we were called here to kill Finn. But… why? What has he done to deserve death?

I shook my head, placing my hands in my jacket’s pockets.

A life filled with torture… Isn’t death better? Why do any of these people want to live in constant agony?

That was an answer I wasn’t ready to hear, though. Yes, a question I wouldn’t dare to ask. Hesitantly, I followed the duo towards a room two levels down, yet once again, everything was too dark for me.

The only thing I could spot was the lantern the goblin was holding in front of me before slowly placing it down when they opened the door, clapping its hands. Like magic, all the hanging lamps around lit.

They were brighter than the candles used in the tower. Thanks to that, I could see I was in a place with a pool of running water. There were also stalls around with metal showerheads in each one. This surprised me as there appeared to be plumbing in this run-down castle.

Like the others, the room was worn down, colorless, and poorly decorated, but it was cleaner than the halls.

“By tomorrow, all the halls will have candles so you can see without a guide!” The goblin announced, gesturing to me to go in. “You should wash off all that blood. It can attract others, and we don’t want that. I’ll wait for you outside once you’re done, M’lady.” She bowed her head.

So… you’re the one with the squeaky voice.

Noticing my hesitation, Rizak pushed me onward into the room. “Go on, child. It’s safe. This is the king’s bathroom. Only those trusted by him are allowed to use it.” He assured me.

That didn’t make me feel any better. However, I walked inside before they closed the door behind me. For the first time since all of this began, I was alone. Taking another step in, I gazed around to see no exit.

This room had no windows or anything like that other than the door behind me. It didn’t matter, either. We only went down two floors; there was no escape either way.

If I even try, there is a high chance I’ll turn into a demon, and if that happens, then I’ll be stuck in this life, reliving nightmares.

I could’ve tried to drown myself, but that wouldn’t work.

No one has ever drowned themselves without a current to help them or weights to bring them down.

It wasn’t an appealing way to go, either. After waiting a couple of minutes to see if anything would jump out at me, I cupped my face.

Nothing… there’s no one else here. I can’t understand them.

“Heh… the water here is probably cold,” I mumbled.

Taking another step in, I noticed there were clothes there. It was a comfortable blue gown with slippers. I went to reach for it, only to stop when I saw how bloody my hand was. Flashes of what happened struck me, causing me to gasp.

“I…” I clasped my hands, shaking my head.

I didn’t mean to kill you! I promise, please! Forgive me for ruining your life!

Tears streaked down my cheeks, marking the moment I was finally breaking as sharp sobs left me. I had been holding everything back all this time, but I was finally alone, and there was no need to.

I wish I weren’t born! You shouldn’t have given birth to me! Why did you bring me into this life, Mom?! Everyone hates me! I’ll never…

“Fuck! Why did you follow me into my room?!” I cried, gazing up at the stone roof, falling onto my knees.

All I ever wanted was for you to love me too! Why couldn’t you see me as your daughter?!

All I wanted was to be loved, but no one was willing. No, everyone left me with scars that wouldn’t heal. Another memory was…

Ah… I was about ten when…

“Daddy, Do you love me too?” I asked after hearing him say it to my sister.

Not once did he ever say it to me.

“Love you?” Father scoffed, rolling his green eyes before chugging his drink.

His words froze me where I was.

“You’re nothing more than a disgusting reminder of everything I lost! Be grateful I even bother to feed you!” Father snapped, throwing a bottle at me.

It barely missed me before shattering on the wall next to me. That was the moment I realized something was wrong with me. Everyone around me said similar things, but they never stuck with me until later.

However, his hate-filled expression filled burned into my mind that day.

“If only I weren’t married to her! Then you wouldn’t have been my responsibility!” He went for another bottle.

After that day, I never dared to ask him again. My father wasn’t the only monster in my life.

“Yeah, she gives some bad vibes.”

“Stay away from her.”

“Hey, have you heard her real daddy is a…”

If their intentions only stayed in words, no, they did much worse. Kids were much crueler than adults because they didn’t do it out of necessity. Their reasoning was much more straightforward. All they wanted was for me to apologize for existing, for being that man’s biological daughter.

A man’s name I didn’t even know or care to know; all I knew was that he had raped and killed twenty women before they caught him. My mother was his twenty-first, leaving him with a sentence of life in prison.

Many didn’t approve of it, using me as an outlet for their revenge. There were too many invisible scars in my heart. It wouldn’t be long before it broke into many pieces again. Even when I tried to stick them together, something always came around to shatter them into smaller bits.

I had lost how many times I had to put myself together.

How many times must I try? No, that’s right, this life… isn’t meant for me. I… hate this. Breathing is so hard. It always has been!

I reached up to my neck, hands trembling, before shaking my head.

If I could only stop the hurt. Yet I don’t want to die. Ah… I’m such a coward!

Perhaps then I would finally dive into a silent ocean.

“Fuck! I never want this!” I shouted, slamming my hands into the ground.

At that moment, I noticed darkness sprouted out of me. Thick shadows surrounded me instead of the stone floor, responding to my negative emotions.

Power of curses… Is this what Serena…

“What the…” I mumbled, tears still trailing down my cheeks.

Salvation or damnation…

There was no way I was a saint.

No… I’m the devil.

These demons brought death to their door, and they didn’t even know it.