The Shadows Within

Finn’s eyes grew colder when he mentioned his sister. I couldn’t help but grab his hand, triggering him to gaze at me even though I wanted to know more about him; pushing him more would be a mistake.

“So, will you teach me more magic?” I tried to change the subject.

A soft smile formed on his lips. “Sure, Sparky. At night, I’ll be your teacher.” He chuckled, leaving me to pout.

“Can’t you just give up your kingly duties to teach me all the time?” I nudged him.

His smile became more refined because of it.

“And have the generals on my ass? No thanks.” He sighed, shaking his head, “You’ll learn from Rizak. Give him a chance.”

I rolled my eyes, getting up from the bed. Solas slid off towards the side. Before I could get anywhere, Finn yanked me onto him. Grabbing me by my hips, I straddled him again.

“Where are you going? I have to kiss you. Brielle’s close to finding me. I feel it in my bones.” He declared, triggering me to get flustered.

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” I mumbled, gazing towards the side.

He hummed, leaning into me before he could snatch my lips, though.

“Is she your babysitter or something?” I grumbled, stopping him.

More like a scorned lover from how she looks at me, but I’m afraid to ask so directly.

Bursting out in laughter, he let himself fall onto the bed, dragging me too and prompting me to cage him under me. His voice was so pleasing to the ears, and his expression filled me in ways I had never expected.

I never knew I could make anyone laugh like that.

It’s been so long since I had someone to feel like this with. Ever since my friend left my side…

“Hah, I guess she is my babysitter. She’s uptight about doing things right, you can say.” He cackled. “I’d be lost without her, though.”

“I see,” I simpered.

The next moment, a knock came from the door, dragging his eyes away; instead of listening to who it was, I leaned onto his lips, brushing them with mine. I quickly tugged away after I realized what I had done.

However, Finn followed me, capturing my lips again.

“M’lord, General Astred, wants to speak with you,” Brielle announced from the other side of the door.

Ignoring the wolf, he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth. A mewl left me when he pressed his body against mine. Feeling his soft member caress, mine made me grab onto his cloak before he tugged away, gazing at me with rosy cheeks.

“Why did you do that?” Finn mumbled.

Another knock came on the door. “M’lord?”

My heart was in my throat because of what had happened.

I don’t know why I did it. I just wanted to, but I won’t tell you that.

“I... wanted to stop you from laughing so much.” I struggled to voice.

A soft smile rose on his lips. “Right,” he breathed, kissing me again.

This time, though, he grabbed onto my hips, pressing me closer to his body. His tongue once again claimed mine, leaving me incapable of fighting the feeling the kiss left on me.

This is something too intimate to do and not feel anything!

It felt like I would melt into him at any moment.

However, another knock came from the door. “My lord… should I tell Astred—” Brielle began, only for Finn to pull away from my lips, glaring at the door.

“Fuck Astred! She can wait!” he snapped, body giving off the same red hue I had accustomed to.

“Yes, my lord.” She-wolf acknowledged, backing off the door.

A soft sigh left his Finn before shifting his gaze back at me. “You’re getting great at kissing,” he licked his lips.

This demon is…

“Hah? I have an excellent teacher, that’s all.” I smirked.

My heart wasn’t in the building anymore, and I didn’t know my expression, but it wasn’t long before I found myself with my back against the bed.

“Oh, Sparky, you’re stirring me up. Don’t forget, I’m a man.” He warned, gazing at me with hungry eyes.

It sounded silly to me.

“How can I forget?” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks hot.

His cheeks turned rosy upon hearing me say that. Caging me under him, he bit onto his bottom lip.

“Oi… careful, my urges are hard to control. So don’t tease me unless you want me to bite.” He huffed, eyes giving off a light blue hue.

“Urges?” I mumbled.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know what he meant, but I wanted him to say it clearly.

A soft sigh left his lips before he grabbed onto my thigh. “Yes, urges.” He trailed his hand up my inner thigh.

It triggered something in me.

“Is the reason you don’t want to lend your womb to Evelyn and her fiancé because you’re a virgin?!” Dad yelled at me.

Fuck! Did Eve call you right after I bolted?

His bloodshot eyes alerted me that he was on drugs or alcohol.

“No! I don’t want to have their baby! I think I can decide what I want to do with my body! You already fucked me enough! Don’t you think?!” I snapped, having enough of the bullshit that my life was built on.

The loan was one thing, but I wouldn’t give into this —not when they needed me to consent to the clinic. Of course, it would only lead to a beating whenever I was this defiant. However, this time, I was collecting my things to leave.

I’m done with this family. If I must sleep in the streets for the rest of my life, so be it!

Turning away, I headed for my room, only for him to grab my hair from behind.

“What are you doing?! Let go of me! I’m leaving?!” I screamed.

Slamming me against the wall, he knocked the air out of me before dragging me towards the living room. There, I received a punch to the face, triggering me to stumble onto a table, slicing my forehead with it.

Falling onto the floor, I was met with another kick, then another. My breath came short as my ribs cracked under his blows. After getting winded from kicking me, he grabbed me by my hair again. I mumbled incoherently, trying to keep my head in place.

He’s going to kill me!

Dragging me into what used to be my safe zone or room, he threw me against the bed.

“You know this has a simple fix. Let me make you into a woman.” He declared, ripping my shirt off, leaving bruises where he tore it.

“No! Leave me alone!” I tried to keep him off me, to no avail.

Yanking off my pants, he left me in my underwear, trembling where I lay. I had never seen those eyes gaze at me like that, freezing me where I was. It was like a lion staring at a juicy meat waving in them.

Licking his lips, he unbuckled his belt.

“You look just like your mother did when she was younger.” Dad smiled, exposing himself, finally sending me into a frenzy.

“What are you doing?! I’m your daughter!” I screamed, trying to kick him off, only for him to overpower me before tearing off my bottom underwear and leaning into me.

“Such smooth skin. I haven’t had a woman in so long.” He purred, sending shivers down my spine.

In a moment of desperation, I reached for anything that was on the nightstand. Clasping onto the first thing my hands could feel, I swung it back onto him, hitting him right on the temple and causing him to fall back toward the floor.

Getting off the bed with him, my blood was boiling, unable to contain the emotion surging within me. Swinging the metal base at him left me winded, unable to count how many times I brought the lamp down on him, but by the end, his head had a dent when I realized what I had done.

Brain pieces and blood were everywhere my eyes landed on.

Ah… this is a bit more than I can bite…

That memory left my body trembling, triggering Finn to stop his advances.

Taking a glance at me, he narrowed his eyes. “I think I should take my leave.” He announced, withdrawing away from me.

Instinctively, I clasped onto his hand.

It isn’t you!

“Please, wait…” I mumbled, trying to set my mind in place.

He gazed back at me, making my sight land on the bed.

“It isn’t you! I didn’t think it would bring back…” I trailed off, shaking my head.

We had only met three nights ago and had an apparent physical attraction.

Chemistry, some might call it.

Yet we didn’t know anything about each other, and that memory left me shivering where I was.

How can any of that change unless one of us gives in?

This had nothing to do with trust but acceptance.

Will you think I’m crazy like everyone else? Am I life not worth living? Will it make a difference?

Finn sighed. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I’ll wait until you’re ready. If it ever comes.”

It was almost as if he saw right through me. His pain resonated with mine in ways I didn’t know it could.

Rizak’s right. You’re…

“Will you listen to my story? To whom are my real monsters?” I mumbled, leaving myself wide open.

Sitting down next to me again, he nodded his head.

“Thank you.” I felt my eyes tear up.

Solas climbed onto me again as they listened to me tell them the pitiful story of a girl who had nothing to lose. I had to let go of the heavy chains anchoring me to the past to move forward.

But can I ever leave it behind? Or will it always define me?