The Paranoid Harry Potter

So, everything was more or less set up, all he really needed now was a bloody name. In truth, he needed two names, one for him and one for Dobby. He wouldn't have bothered with an identity for Dobby, except for the fact that someone his age needed a legal guardian. He could probably rig up some records of his being emancipated but then he would still have to deal with things like landlords perhaps not being willing to rent out apartments to fifteen year old teenage boys. No, it would be easier if Dobby had the identity of an older man, probably someone who could be Harry's father. That way, Social Services would never think to ask about the fifteen year old boy living alone. No, they would just see a single father and his son.

He had even managed to get a hold of a bracelet with a built in glamour charm from one of the many magical shops that were scattered all over the United States. All Dobby had to do was slip it onto his arm and presto - everyone would see a middle-aged man. Hell, he would even start sounding like a middle-aged man, albeit one with a rather unique way of talking and a tendency to refer to himself in the third person.

The only real problem with needing an adult identity for Dobby was that he would also need to create fake tax records. Still, that should not be too difficult either. Once he had the birth certificates in place, the tax records should not be much harder, just another government office to break into and that was ridiculously easy if you possessed an invisibility cloak and knew the unlocking charm. Bank records would probably be more difficult but with a little bit of luck he would not need them.

Once he had his identity sorted, he would be enrolling in one of the local high schools. At this point, he had absolutely no intention of ever going back to the magical world, so getting a proper muggle education would no doubt serve him far better. A complete set of fake school records and transcripts was also ready and waiting for his name to be inserted. With them, it should be easy to join one of the local schools as a transfer student. All he needed was that name.

He yelled out to Dobby, who was busy grooming Hedwig, "Hey Dobby, could you stop fussing around with Hedwig? I don't think she needs to have her talons polished quite so much. I wanted to ask you what you would like your fake name to be. What about something like Doberto 'Call me Dobby' Elfuccine? We could be Italian...No...Yeah, I guess not...Elfuccine does sound like it could be some sort of pasta. Maybe Dobby could be a surname? Something like...Dobbins? How does that sound? You could be Bob...Bob Dobbins and I could be Jim Dobbins. Jim Dobbins...How does that sound?"

....

One of the defining events in the history of the British Magical World started rather simply. It started with a simple conversation. One that a young witch called Lavender Brown had with one of the girls who shared her dorm.

Lavender had walked into the dorm, to drop off her books after classes had finished for the day, she was surprised by the sight of Hermione Granger looking rather lost and disconsolate upon her bed. Now Lavender, while she had never been particularly close to Hermione was not one to leave someone who was looking so upset alone. The others in the school might have called her gossipy, or dismissive of her intelligence, but none of them would have ever called her mean spirited. So of course, the first thing she did was to rush to Hermione's side to try to comfort her.

"Oh Hermione," she cried, "what's the matter? Is it Ron? Are you upset about the whole...you know?"

"Ron?" asked a surprised Hermione. "No, why would I be upset about him?"

"Oh, I should have known. How silly of me. Obviously, you must have known about him all along. No wonder the two of you are such good friends. Witch Weekly does say that every girl should have one; you know they had an article just last month in which they said that they make the very best friends. Tell me; is he any good at shopping? Oh, but he must have an excellent eye for fashion. Why, that even explains his robes at the ball. We should have realised that he must have been making some sort of bold fashion statement," babbled Lavender.

Hermione was confused. What on earth was the girl talking about?

"You know, I don't know why everyone is acting so surprised after all. It should have been obvious after the way he treated Padma at the Yule Ball. You know we thought for a while that he did that because he was interested in you," giggled Lavender, "but it's so obvious now, how could we not have seen it at the time? He must have been madly in love with Krum. The way he kept staring at him all year, the way he got so upset with you just because you went to the ball with Krum. The poor boy must have been heartbroken."

Hermione shook her head in disbelief. Was Lavender really saying what she was saying? Ron and Viktor Krum? Really? Huh? No, it couldn't be. Not Ron. But...She supposed it did make a certain amount of sense. He did act very enamoured with Krum at the world cup. And then there was the fact that Ron had never shown the slightest interest in her before he acted like such a prat after the ball. So, perhaps her conclusion at the time had been way off base. Still, she would have thought the boy would have confided in her at some point. She was supposed to be his best friend after all. Part of her wanted to go and confront Ron right away, but then...did it really matter? No, not really. Not at this point.

"No, it's not Ron," she said simply.

"Oh, then what is it?" asked Lavender.

"I...I just got a letter back from my parents. I'm...I'm going to be leaving Hogwarts, I won't be coming back from the Christmas break," explained Hermione.

"WHAT? No, No I can't...Really? I can't believe that. But...But why? Why are you leaving?" asked a completely shocked Lavender Brown.

And then, Hermione Granger told Lavender Brown exactly why she felt she had to leave.

....

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