The Most Random System

"Bai Bufan, if the school outing goes until Saturday night before coming home, are you still going?" Lin Li asked directly when Bai Bufan sat back down next to him in the classroom.

Bai Bufan glanced at Lin Li, yawned, and replied, "Zhuo Yongfei asked you too? I'm planning to decide then. If it takes up Saturday, I'll definitely hesitate. Going home to sleep and play games is way better. I'm leaning towards not going."

"It's great that you want to go." Lin Li nodded appreciatively.

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Are your ears not working? I just said I'm leaning towards not wanting to go." Bai Bufan enunciated each word very clearly this time.

"You want to go, right?" Lin Li smiled at Bai Bufan, his tone gentle.

"..."

Lin Li's eyes took on the mysterious look of a fish from a college entrance exam reading comprehension passage. Seeing this, Bai Bufan swallowed and nodded like a pecking chicken:

"I want to go, I really want to go, I have to go. Who said overnight outings are bad? This overnight outing is fantastic!"

It was clear that if he didn't plan on going for the outing next weekend, he couldn't think of it this weekend either.

Lin Li's eerie smile immediately shifted to a pleasant one as he patted Bai Bufan on the shoulder appreciatively:

"Great, then I'll leave the responsibility of persuading the other five in your room to go, barring any special reasons, to you. Arigato, Feiyangyang-san."

Alright, up to this point, the task assigned by the class monitor was almost done.

I am a genius indeed.

Time to sleep.

Just as Lin Li was about to lie down on the desk for a nap, Bai Bufan forcibly pulled him up, grabbing Lin Li by the collar with wide eyes and questioning:

"What's this arigato crap? Did Zhuo Yongfei control you with a remote? Let me check what's stuffed in your butt!"

"Crafty zero," Lin Li slapped away Bai Bufan's hand, explaining, "It has nothing to do with Zhuo Yongfei. I haven't spoken a word to him today."

Bai Bufan pondered, then came to a new conclusion: "Is everything an order from the class monitor? Were you controlled by her?"

After all, the only person Lin Li hung out with during lunch was Chen Yu Ying.

"Sort of, she hopes everyone can participate in this outing, to have a big, fun time together before the class separation." Lin Li nodded.

"What benefits did she offer you?" Bai Bufan asked doubtfully.

"What benefits are needed? The class monitor's intentions are good from every angle. As a fine young person in the new era, it's my duty to comply. Asking for benefits for such requests is really inhumane." Lin Li said contemptuously.

"I get that logic, but Lin Li, you're not always rational. How about swearing on a chicken roll?" Bai Bufan smiled.

A trick that works wonders everywhere.

"I swear on a chicken roll that I didn't plan on taking any benefits from the class monitor." Lin Li sneered.

This time, it doesn't work on me!

In fact, my initial refusal at lunchtime was just joking; even without Yu Ying's charm, I would have agreed, though there would be a difference: I wouldn't make it a military order.

I would probably just casually mention it, saying I want to join everyone for fun during the outing, without doing anything more.

Sadly, Lin Li's verbal games couldn't fool Bai Bufan, who also sneered, "I want you to swear whether or not you received benefits!"

Height of the Way, height of the Devil.

"That said, if the class monitor forced benefits on me, not accepting them would be disrespectful to her, wouldn't it?" Lin Li didn't hide it.

"So you pass this difficult task onto me, but all the promised benefits from the Imperial Army you pocketed as profit?" Bai Bufan was angry.

"Mm-hmm."

"?"

Seeing Lin Li nod and say "mm-hmm," Bai Bufan scratched his ear, doubting he'd heard correctly.

"Do you have the nerve to 'mm-hmm' like that!?"

"So calmly nodding, admitting you think I'm livestock in your heart?"

"Mm-hmm."

"You damn! Lin Li, if you don't share a bit of the benefits with me, even if you threaten with the outing, I won't budge! Livestock has dignity too!" Bai Bufan said, crossing his arms firmly.

Lin Li, however, looked troubled.

"Bufan, do you really want me to share the benefits with you?" Lin Li asked tentatively.

"Can really share? Yes, yes, yes!" Bai Bufan nodded quickly.

"Alright." Lin Li nodded, took a deep breath, as if making a major decision.

Under Bai Bufan's expectant gaze, Lin Li grabbed his own shirt hem.

Bai Bufan: "?"

What's he doing?

"Bufan geigei~ help me please~~" Clampy Lin Li went online.

Many years later, every time Bai Bufan recalled this moment, he couldn't tell what was in his mind back then, the mysteries of the universe? The essence of life? The end of mathematics? The derivation of physics? It felt like all of it, yet none of it.

But he remembered clearly that after the brain freeze ended, his reaction was:

"Lin Li, darn you, idiot, what are you doing, did Zhou Baowei bite you, did you catch rabies!"

—Bai Bufan, along with his chair, retreated two meters, and the chair cried out loudly in sorrow.

Because of the precedent with Chen Yu Ying, Lin Li had anticipated Bai Bufan's current reaction somewhat, so although he felt a small amount of sadness, he remained generally calm, spreading his hands in slight innocence, sighed:

"You asked me to share the benefits with you, wasn't I doing that? Your response really disappoints me."

Bai Bufan's expression froze again.

That comment seems loaded with implications.

Let's analyze it.

He moved his chair and himself back to the desk, his expression vacant, eyes unfocused staring ahead, extending a hand towards Lin Li: "Hold on, I'm barbecuing."

Lin Li nodded: "Remember to add more spice."

Half a minute later, Bai Bufan finally pieced things together, mechanically turning his head to Lin Li, with an incredulous expression: "Is it what I think it is? Did the class monitor use her charm?"

Lin Li smiled and nodded, he's smart indeed.

"So what you just did which could top the Qing's Ten Great Tortures, you call that sharing a bit of the benefit with me?" Bai Bufan laughed, this time genuinely laughed in anger.

"Firstly, I'd like a little more respect, I was clamping hard. Secondly, if you're really unsatisfied, I could call over the class monitor to truly share some benefits with you, can't I?"

"No no no!" Bai Bufan hastily waved his hands.

Others might stand excitedly if pulled by Chen Yu Ying, but Bai Bufan would probably stiffen to death.

"No can do, you've rejected what you wanted." Lin Li shrugged more innocently, his exhaled breath still carrying thick laughter.

Even a flame punch couldn't describe Bai Bufan's complex emotions now.

Totally had me under control.

After a while, he accepted his fate with a sigh, "I'll give it a simple mention, just say that both you and I are going, so it would be more fun if everyone joins, but no guarantees."

"Sure, no problem." Lin Li nodded.

If Bai Bufan doesn't agree, I'll try to persuade him again tomorrow or before we leave next weekend. At worst, I'll offer some perks.

I can't possibly wear out my good workhorse.

Need to exploit resources sustainably.

"But Lin Li, you must promise me one thing: never be the pinch hitter again." Bai Bufan said seriously.

Lin Li: "..."

...

After school today, since there was no urgent need to explore other places, Lin Li went straight home.

He opened his phone, and Song Luping still hadn't sent him the document. You could say he's the perfect office worker, strictly against early submissions before the deadline.

Lin Li didn't want to rush him. If it still hasn't been sent by Friday night, he might subtly check if there are any difficulties to hint at urgency.

A rare early night returning home.

Time to discover some treasures.

"Lin Li: Please send me the verification code, thanks orz."

"Bai Bufan: 06017. Treat it well, use it gently, I'll feel heartbroken or2."

"Lin Li: OK, rz."

"Bai Bufan: Are you cursing me as an intellectual? I'm changing the password."

"Lin Li: Like orz and or2, rz also implies kneeling, but this is the Louis XVI exclusive edition."

"Bai Bufan: Enough already, is this funny? Even joking about Hell needs moderation. \\"Sweating Yellow Bean\\"?"

"Lin Li: You didn't spare him either."

Lin Li closed WeChat, then logged into Bai Bufan's cloud account on his computer by scanning a QR code.

It was like a mouse falling into a grain silo.

Bai Bufan had meticulously organized all the resources.

General, Games, Live Action, Non-Real.

Skipping the general section even a dog wouldn't look at, Lin Li first opened Games, surprised to find that Bai Bufan had categorized internally: Masterpiece, Excellent, Decent, Ordinary, Trash.

Even more subdivisions inside, Lin Li opened Non-Japanese, greeted by titles like Virtue, Home Tutor, Agent 17...

Lin Li queued each of these compressed files for download but paused them all.

Tonight's target wasn't these; he'd critique them thoroughly when he had a chance.

He opened Live Action's Masterpieces section, not large in number, but Lin Li's eyes landed on a folder with a strong recommendation label.

VTCC-410 [4K Restoration] [With Subtitles].

He clicked the preview image, and Lin Li smiled—it's his favorite type and indeed one he hadn't seen before.

Tonight's decision is this, 11.4GB, reasonable for 4K, and the ID wasn't from one of those outrageously extreme films he remembered, no problem.

He clicked download, then began his pre-play routines. Even with a membership, 11.4GB is quite a download.

"Wipes, check! Trash can, check! Post-shower water heater switch, check! Curtains, check! Lights, check! Immersive sound system, check! Pants, check!"

Having prepared everything, Lin Li sat on his computer chair, ready for the moment, and clicked unzip! No password needed! Successfully unzipped!

Play!

"Live Baccarat Casino, Sexy Dealers, Online Dealing! Click to get a thousand startup..."

Yes, absolutely yes! This is the right feel! Lin Li watched as the sound disappeared, and the computer screen went black, anticipating the main content was about to start.

"BabyBus!"

"Starting today, I'll go to the bathroom myself, Mum and Dad don't underestimate me~~"

Lin Li's smile froze.

When he saw a clumsy animated bear start singing in the bathroom on his big screen, he was dumbfounded.

"BabyBus teaches me toilet secrets, I can't wait I need the toilet~~"

Lin Li's gaze fixed on the top left corner of the screen.

CCTV14 Children's Channel.

Lin Li pulled the progress bar.

"Hi Uncle Long!"

"Hi Xiaoyu... Xiaoyu! What are you doing here? Isn't Tru looking after you?"

"Haha, hahaha, hahahaha!" Lin Li laughed heartily as if he had recaptured his childhood.

"Damn VTCC-410!"

"Bai Bufan, I \\"beep——\\" your effing \\"beep——\\" mother \\"beep——\\"! You \\"beep——\\" really are \\"beep beep beep——\\"..."

...

Nansang Middle School, dormitory.

"Lin Li: \\"Voice Message\\" 60s·"

Seeing this message, Bai Bufan smiled contentedly, his meticulous scheming was worth it.

Originally wanted an eighty or ninety GB file, but that would be too obvious, such a pity.

"Lin Li: Do you enjoy going to the bathroom? I'm gonna shove an umbrella up your a** and open it!"

"Lin Li: I damn know you're watching!"

Seemingly knowing he wouldn't listen, Lin Li switched to sending messages.

After setting his messages to Do Not Disturb, Bai Bufan squirmed like a worm, chuckling at the thought of Lin Li's current state.

"That's what you get for squeezing benefits out of me!"

Then the bed board received a kick, as Zhou Baowei from the lower bunk reproached, "No rituals at night."

"Firstly, it's even less appropriate in broad daylight, secondly, I'm not interested, I just thought of a geigei of mine who's now completely disinterested, that's all!"

Zhou Baowei: "?"

What a nutjob.