The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Davon grunted as he stood. Charlie clinched her knees against his sides and realized that he was mainly torso, more so than she thought. Her feet rested against his hips as he started quietly stalking down the path. She nuzzled her face into the lion’s mane and tried to remain calm. His fur was matted and smelled better than it looked, but it was still an odd feeling against her face.

You are entering a dungeon fight. Would you like to add Davon to your party?

“Yes!” She simply thought.

Davon has been added to your party. New quest initiated: Survive the Dungeon!

You have two current quests: Learn to Fight and Survive the Dungeon.

Survive the Dungeon: You have wandered too far from the safe section of the dungeon. Creatures are actively hunting you. Escape or kill all creatures to complete this quest.

Other objectives: Identify fighting style, find your own weapon, make it back to the Priestess Navara’s house.

Charlie squeezed her arms around him tighter, “They’re hunting us. They have to be close by.”

“Alright, two can play at that game,” He stretched his neck to either side and she felt the vertebrae pop back into place.

Davon’s racial ability, Primal Hunter, has been activated. Perception increased. Investigation increased. Speed Increased. Strength increased.

“Jesus Christ, Davon. Why don’t you have that on all the time?”

“What—?” He shook his head, “What’s a Jesus Christ?”

“I'll unpack that if we live. The Primal Hunter thing!”

“The what now?”

Charlie groaned and lightly headbutted his shoulder, “Whatever you just did boosted you. Keep it up.”

“Then shut up!”

Another screech and a ball of red-yellow fur flew pass. It collided against a wall torch and knocked it down. She squealed as he turned and let his arrow fly. A pained whimper came from the torch that clattered against the ground. He slowly walked them to the injured creature with his bow drawn, ready to release another arrow.

Charlie could have held the bunny in her hands. The panicked creature laid on its side as the approached it. It squealed, but one of its legs had been ripped off by the previous arrow. The blonde bunny with bloody fur whimpered as he aimed his bow at it.

“Aw! Davon, it’s just a baby! Do we have to kill it?”

“You said there’s three, right?”

“Yes?”

“Good. Likely it’s parents. They’ll come out soon.”

“But the poor, cute bunny—!”

“It’s a monster. It’s not cute. It’s deadly.”

Charlie looked at the terrified wererabbit and pouted. It’s whimpers slowly faded as it stopped twitching. It looked like the pathetic, dying rabbit begged her to save it.

Then, a terrible squeal came from the thing. Its skin rippled until it grew as large as a wolf. The fluffy ball of a tail grew into a vicious furry whip. Its eyes glowed a sickly red as it gnawed at the arrow in its shoulder. The wound from the lost leg caused a smear of viscous blood across its face and shoulder. The once cute bunny now had fangs the size of her forearm and launched towards them. Another arrow flew and thwacked against the beast’s chest.

“Whatthefuck—”

“The other form is camouflage to get empathy,” He launched another arrow as it gnawed at them, “If you don’t know what it is, then it will kill you.”

Davon ducked under another jump and stabbed an arrow into its underbelly. Charlie screamed as something grabbed onto her backpack and ripped her away from his shoulders. He tried to grab her ankle, but whatever gripped her yanked her away too quickly.

“What is—”

An arrow clipped her shoulder as it impacted into the creature dragging her into the dark.

“Watch where you’re shooting those things!” She yelled and grabbed at the wooden shaft, “That one hit me!”

“Try to at least get away!” His voice faded away.

She cursed and tried to wriggle away from her kidnapper. It reached back with fuzzy, clawed paws and threw her over its shoulder. This wererabbit was as large as a horse compared to the little bunny. It screeched as she pounded it fist into its side.

Wererabbit resistant to blunt force damage.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” She grunted as it tried to readjust her weight, “Why isn’t it trying to eat me?”

Charlie heard frantic voices from the rapidly fleeting light. Claws sliced into her stomach as it threw her about. Blood oozed out as she tried to grab at it with her hand. The arrow ripped from her shoulder and a slew of curses left her as a reaction from the pain. She tried to slide out of the straps of her backpack as the last flicker of light faded away. In the complete darkness, another message popped into her head.

Fourth creature in identifiable range. Would you like to identify?

“Identify,” She mumbled.

There are three identifiable creatures in range: two larger wererabbits at level 23, one crystalline turtle at level ERROR.

“Error? What the hell is that supposed to –”

Identification spell incomplete at current level.

Current level identification of turtle:

Race: Crystalline Turtle

Class: Beast

Subclass: Elemental

Level: Error

Racial Ability: Error

“Wait didn’t Puddles say –”

As the wererabbit crashed them through a wall, they tumbled into an open area lit by glowing crystals. She gasped at the eerie, electric blue shine that outlined the most frightening thing she had ever seen. The ancient dinosaur opened its jaw and roared. The battle cry flickered the crystalline lights and shook the walls around them.

The sea turtle the size of a house let out a roar so furious that she did, in fact, wet her makeshift dress.

Moss and algae grew across its blue green, cracked skin. More of the crystals grew on it like warts and encrusted its grey-brown shell. The closer the wererabbit got to the gigantic turtle, the more its shell began to glow with swirls of the eerie light.

“Oh, so this is how I die?” She laughed, “Eaten by a horse sized rabbit or a house sized turtle?”

The room they were in was hardly large enough to contain the abominable creature. Its fins slapped against the ground as it turned to face them completely.

Under the effect of Godly Presence. You are immune to this effect.

“Great. That thing’s a god too? Is everyone around here a god?!”

The wererabbit dropped her and scurried from the room with a whimpering screech. The large turtle bent its neck down and looked at Charlie in rage. Its glossy yellow eyes shifted rapidly as it scanned her. It sniffed at her with more curiosity than hatred.

“Charlie!” Davon yelled as he jumped into the room, “Are you alr—”

“We’re dead,” Puddles said as she slid pass the caved in wall, “We’re all going to die.”

“We?” She yelled, “You’re a god!”

“That thing is higher level than I am! By at least three hundred!” The watery girl screamed, “I didn’t even know it was down here!”

New Objective: Escape the Dungeon God.

Davon frantically looked between them and the monster in the room. It roared furiously and swatted at Puddles. She screamed and flew across the room. The goddess collided against the wall and immediately fell into a puddle of unmoving water on the floor.

“Davon, run!” Charlie yelled, “Get out!”

“I can’t just leave you here! You don’t even have a weapon!”

She jumped and rolled away from its fin slamming into the ground as it turned to try and find her.

“It can’t see me, or it would’ve killed me by now! Go!”

His face fell as its fin blocked her from view. Charlie took a deep breath and ran from the giant turtle’s moving feet. She ran towards where Puddles fell and put her hands in the water.

“Come on,” She whispered to herself, “Think. Why would this thing be freaking out? How do I get it to stop?”

The beast raised its head and sniffed in the air before it roared again. It frantically turned as if it searched for something.

“Puddles, now would be the time to wake up,” She whispered, “I don’t know anything about turtles. Besides they swim, eat lettuce – I think, and lay eggs—”

She looked around the room and didn’t see anything that looked like a nest.

“Is that what you’re looking for, your babies?” She looked to a crumbled section of wall that looked like a cave in, “Can you not find them? Things freak out when they can’t find their kids.”

She ran past it as the increasingly panicked turtle rapidly turned. As the turtle’s shell bashed around, more rocks fell from the ceiling and blocked her only visible exit. She put her hands on her hips and thought.

“Hey!” Charlie yelled, “Calm down! Let me help!”

The turtles head came down and stared at her. It roared at her angrily until it noticed she didn’t move at all. Her sandy hair wiped about as it inhaled her scent.

“You’re looking for your babies, right? You’re too big! You’ll crush them if you don’t calm down,” She used a calmer tone as it stared at her, “Let me help, okay?”

Its unblinking yellow eyes stared down at her. She gently reached up and placed a hand on its snout.

“Just keep calm, okay? I’ll help. I’m smaller so it’ll be easier to look around,” She placed her head against it and spoke as calmly as possible, “Just promise to stay still. If you move too much, I could get hurt. Once I find them, we can try to find you somewhere a bit bigger, okay?”

It exhaled enough snot to cover her completely. She wiped the glob from her face with a grimace. It backed up against a wall and laid down on the dirt, as if it understood her. Charlie walked to where she saw the cave in and placed a hand against its fin. She crawled up and grabbed a glowing crystal to use as a light. With a gentle pull, it released from the ancient turtle easily. She slid down its fin and walked towards the crumbled wall. It kept its dark yellow eyes on her as its only focus.

New objective: Find Crystalline Turtle Eggs

Charlie moved some of the smaller boulders and larger rocks. She felt a fuzzy, twine like strand and gripped it in her hand. With a couple of tugs, more rocks slide down around her. The makeshift tarp cleared away to show eggs taller than she was. Charlie moved more rocks to see that four eggs were safely surrounded by a yellow casing.

“Identify.”

Object identified: Crystalline Turtle Eggs

This item is protected by a time magical shield to prevent up to three hundred thousand damage. Once the shield is broken, the item inside ages naturally. Until it is broken, the item inside the shield is frozen in a timeless state.

She crawled across the shield to push more rocks away so the turtle could see her find. A horrendously joyful shrill made her slam her ears over her hands.

“Hey, mama!” She yelled, “We still have to find somewhere for you to keep them. It’s too small here. We don’t want them to get stuck again.”

It carefully nudged her out of the way and dug into the massive boulders around it. The rapid sniffing reminded her of a dog’s investigation over a turtle. The mother monster cooed at her eggs and pushed the magical shield to get it to move.

“Let’s find somewhere for you to get to!” Charlie called out, “Can you try and… I don’t know… break one of the walls?”

The turtle stared down at her as if it may have known what she wanted but wouldn’t do it.

“Wall?” Charlie pointed to a further one, “Wait… that might cause another cave in.”

The massive turtle poked its nose on the glowing rock Charlie used as a light. It vibrated as the creature pulled away.

Item updated. You have obtained Liquid Explosive.

Liquid Explosive: This magical item is used to prevent catastrophic damage in underground dungeons. Place against a wall to demolish. The magical after effect will freeze the ceiling to prevent cave ins.

As a weapon, Liquid Explosive can deal up to five thousand damage.

“Five thousand?” She raised an eyebrow, “You want me to place this?”

The turtle made a low rumble to agree and pushed her with its head.

“Alright, give me a minute,” She laughed.