The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

“Are you well, Lady Charlotte?”

“She’s had a fever since I met her yesterday. There’s a nasty wound on her stomach that will need immediate attention from the healers,” Wade crouched beside her and whispered callously, “And the only healers in Vlaminer are employed by the Everleigh Estate.”

“You are the worst kidnapper I’ve had,” She sighed, “Fine. I’ll take the horse.”

“Perfect! I’ll ride with you,” Wade grinned before he looked to the elf, “Dame, please keep my lady safe until I return.”

The elf sighed, “Yes, my lord.”

He trotted back towards the house as the knight helped Charlie back to her feet.

“Did I hear you say, ‘the worst kidnapper’?” The elf sneered, “Is that an ongoing issue?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, it will be a day’s ride back to the manor. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to tell us,” She cleared her throat and knelt in front of Charlie, “Forgive me for not properly introducing myself. I am Dame Bryza Icevein, head of the Everleigh Estate guards.”

“The head guard chased him down? I find that hard to believe.”

“I am Countess Everleigh’s personal retainer. When she asks me to do something, I do it,” The elf smiled warmly, “Lord Wade has run away a few times this past year when he and the countess disagree on an issue. First, him becoming a knight on his own. Then, getting his own attunements. And more recently, him finding a bride.”

“Oh, so he’s a spoiled rich kid?”

“To put it simply.”

“Is there any chance I can get out of this without having to marry him?”

“Unless the countess or a god intervenes, then… unlikely,” Bryza smirked, “Do not worry, Countess Everleigh will not allow it.”

“Thank god for that,” Charlie thought of a certain lesser water goddess that would likely disagree as well.

“Most would kill for the opportunity you have,” She laughed, “I gained an attunement and became a knight just to work for the Everleighs.”

She narrowed her eyes at the dame, “I get the feeling you’re telling me to milk this for all its worth?”

“Healers are expensive. Inns, food, and any basic necessities are worth a bit as well. Lord Wade is given a generous allowance,” She whispered, “Allow him to properly thank you for saving his life, then leave. I beg you. Please make this easier for everyone involved.”

“And who will stop him from…” She frowned as he galloped towards him, “Making a big deal about this?”

“I’m sure the countess will be more than helpful with that.”

Wade slowed down as he approached the women. The horse seemed larger in daylight than it did the night before. Its shoulders came up to Charlie’s head. She reached to stroke its mane, but it tried to bite her.

“Sterling!” He dug his heels into the stallion’s side, “That is my bride. You behave yourself.”

“You’re even telling the horses now?” She groaned

“Of course. I’m tempted to buy banners and plaster it around the entire region,” He slid down from the saddle and stood in front of her, “Now, my lady, do you know how to ride a horse?”

“Yes. I’ve just never seen one… this big.”

“This is a special breed, the Everleigh,” He smirked, “My forefathers bred this horse for war. It’s how our house got its name and money.”

“Oh great. A warhorse,” She gripped the cantle of the saddle to give herself some leverage, “Perfectly normal. Not at all like a cliché romance novel.”

Charlie attempted to hoist herself up enough to put her foot in the stirrups but couldn’t lift her leg that high. She cursed under her breath and tried again. When it was evident she couldn’t reach, he chuckled and stepped behind her.

“Allow me.”

Wade placed his hands on her hips. She tensed as he firmly grasped her pelvis. When he smoothly lifted her up, she squeaked in surprise.

“You are very light, my lady.”

“Did you think I’d be fat?” She frowned as she threw her leg over the horse, “That’s just rude.”

“No,” He laughed, “I knew you’d be light. I didn’t even strain myself—”

“Oh, I see. You’re trying to show off.”

“You caught me,” Wade smirked and placed a hand on her leg, “Now, make room for me?”

“I think I can handle myself,” She jerked her head away.

“Lady Charlotte—” Bryza tried to interject.

“I’m sure you are more than capable,” He laughed, “But why wouldn’t I want to spend the entire day behind my lady?”

“And why do you think I’d want that?”

“You could sleep against me. I’d hold you steady,” He shrugged, “You also don’t know the way.”

“What’s the carriage option?” Charlie looked to the elf.

“A small, enclosed carriage that you and Lord Everleigh could—”

“Not just for myself?”

“I wouldn’t dream of letting my bride ride alone in a carriage,” He scoffed pretentiously, “Of course I would accompany you.”

“You’re really not going to leave me alone, are you?” Charlie groaned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” He winked, “Now, my lady, I’m coming up.”

Wade fluidly pulled himself into the saddle and tucked behind her. He swiped her hat off her head and placed it on his own. Before she had time to react, he pulled her hips back against his lap.

“It’s much more comfortable if you are further back in the saddle,” He adjusted the hat, “Plus, this will shade both of our faces from the sun.”

“It suits you, my lord,” Bryza chuckled at the large, brimmed hat on his head, “Lady Charlotte, what brings you to Vlaminer?”

“The attunement center,” She crossed her arms as Wade grabbed the reins in front of her, “I have some friends that should be in town as well. As soon as I get there, I’ll be off to find them.”

“Of course! Dame Bryza, find them so they can stay with us in my wing at the manor.”

“I’m sure wherever they are, they’re perfectly fine and waiting for me to join them.”

“Very well, my lord. I will send out scouts to see if there is anyone searching for Lady Charlotte,” The elf bowed, “I will get the carriage and meet you on the way.”

Wade tilted her hat with a grin and kicked the horse to trot. When it launched forward, Charlie squealed and grabbed his arm.

“Is my lady afraid now?”

“Of the thousand-pound animal that almost bit me and will kick me off of it? Yeah, a bit,” She laughed and released her grip on his arm, “I’ve never ridden something this large.”

“Most haven’t. I’ve been working with them since I was a small boy. Other horses seem small,” He wrapped an arm around her to hold her steady, “Don’t worry, Sterling is my horse. He’s always listened to my directions.”

The horse snorted in protest. Wade pressed his heels into the horse to speed him up. They left the knight behind as he brought them up to speed.

“You tossed quite a bit in your sleep last night,” He tried to start a casual conversation,

“Are you sure you don’t want to rest?”

She narrowed her eyes, “I’ll wait until I know you’re not going to do anything stupid.”

“Like what?” He laughed.

“Prance around saying I agreed to marry you.”

“Am I that atrocious? Most women I’ve met have practically thrown themselves at me.”

“Then marry one of them,” She crossed her arms, “I’m perfectly fine on my own, thanks.”

“Something tells me you’ve been on your own for quite a while, no?” He whispered in her ear, “I have enough money to make sure that you’re taken care of, if that’s your worry.”

“I don’t need your parent’s money,” She laughed.

“I have my own money,” He frowned, “Lady Charlotte. All of what I have is on me.”

“Money you get from allowance is not your money.”

“I do have some jobs, my lady.”

“Oh, well,” She stiffened.

“I will forgive your insult if you relax,” He teased, “Or, grant me one kiss.”

“Not falling for that,” She snorted, “But I might take you up on the offer to sleep.”

“Make yourself comfortable, please.”

She pressed her back against him. He combed her hair from her face and pressed it against his shoulder.

“Wade,” She whispered, “Why are you doing this?”

“You saved my life. Can’t I do something nice for you in return?”

“Marrying me is that?”

“It solves more than one problem,” He chuckled.

“How so?”

“My sister wants me to find a wife and settle down. I don’t want to do that. I don’t get to make any choices of my own. I haven’t since our parents died,” He sighed, “She wouldn’t let me become a knight. She won’t let me try for an attunement. If I find a wife that feels the same way I do, then I think it’d be easy to help each other.”

“So, you don’t want anyone to make choices for you, but you think that’s a perfectly good reason to force me to be your wife?”

“I hoped you would forgive me after you see what I’ve got to offer you,” He winced.

“Wade,” She shook her head, “I’m not going to play along with this game.”

“I will still pay for your stay.”

“Fine.”

He whispered, “Try your best not to embarrass me?”

“Unfortunately, I have quite a bit of experience in stupid subtleties needed to get through hoity situations,” She sighed, “But I will still do it my way.”

“I can’t wait to learn what that is.”

“You just have to promise not to fall in love with me,” Charlie teased.

“My lady, I would never promise not to fall in love with my bride,” He whispered, “For you owned my heart the minute you stood up for me.”

Wade wrapped his arms around her to keep her upright as her head dipped in slumber. She slouched against him without resistance. After days of walking, feeling sick, and being in pain, riding a horse didn’t sound like a terrible way to end her journey. She almost wished she said she wanted the carriage instead.