The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Squirt sprayed Leonie with whatever mixture of water and beer was in the base of the fountain. A surprised yelp made the growing crowd laugh. Puddles shivered and the tan swirls drifted to the bottom of her feet.

“In honorrr of saving the springs,” Puddles cleared her throat, “Davonathan Highmane, I present you with –”

The goddess held out her hand towards the lion and water swirled upwards from her palm. As it hardened into icy blue crystals and steel, a bow formed.

“By the gods,” His bewilderment took him over for a moment, “It’s magnificent.”

“This is the –brrrr,” Puddles burped and shook her head, “This is Icefang. Running your hands along this spot—”

Her thumb clicked a small rune on the bow.

“—will enchant any arrow with ice magic. You can hold twenty charges at a time,” She tossed him the bow, “It takes, like, a day to recharge a charge.”

Charlie looked at it and whispered, “Identify.”

Icefang. Rare weapon.

This weapon is forged from the crystalline ice of the Healing Oasis’s Lake. This weapon holds twenty charges of Ice Arrows. Each charge takes approximately one day to recharge. This item is soul bound to its wielder upon accepting. Any that try to use this bow without the wielder’s permission will be inflicted with ice damage until they are rendered frozen or unconscious.

“Damn, Davon. That’s a nice bow!”

“Your eminence, this is too great a gift for—”

“Oh, shut up and take the bow!” Puddles snorted, “I found it in the dungeon when I first got here. Accept the gift.”

“I accept Icefang. Thank you.”

“Do I get a supercool weapon too?”

“Absolutely not. You don’t know even how to wield one!”

Charlie didn’t appreciate how the majority of the people around her laughed. She crossed her arms and scrunched her nose at the girl.

“I was going to give you a wand, but I think you’ll enjoy this more,” She tossed a wooden cup to her.

Once Charlie caught it, she examined it intensely. The wooden mug resembled a whiskey barrel with runes carved down every other wooden slit. She held it up to her eye to notice the lack of bottom on the thing. The metal bands that held it in place had a crisp swirling decal that she followed intensely until the goddess spoke again.

“Here is a bottomless cup,” Puddles explained to the crowd as Charlie listened to her robotic secretary.

Item acquired: Bottomless cup. Rare item.

This bottomless cup binds to the accepter’s soul. Once soulbound, this item can contain up to ten different types of liquids. Each liquid is denoted with a rune on the side of the mug. All liquids stored in the Bottomless Cup will continue to multiply and refill as necessary. All potions and poisons stored in this item will degrade over time.

If all ten runes are occupied, the owner of the bottomless cup must perform or participate in a cleansing ritual to remove one stored liquid. This ritual can be done at any water temple.

Should this item break, it will deal explosive energy equal to the amount of contained liquids by one thousand.

She waved the display away as she shook the gift.

“Holy shit. This is rad!”

Puddles giggled and stuck her finger against the rim of the mug. Beer flowed from it and the first rune was highlighted with a yellow glow. A vortex of liquid swirled around the inner rim of the mug. Charlie tilted it down to see the vortex on the other side spill out a never-ending stream of beer.

“Bottomless? I’m in!” She took a large gulp.

“That’s it for divine presents. Whoever wants to go next can,” The water goddess sat in the fountain and looked over the crowd.

The nervous human only looked at the odd mug in her hands. She stuck her arm through it and wore it like a bracelet. The item was filed into the “definitely mess with that later” category of her brain.

Charlie looked up as the pack of Leonie formed a line, “Oh, we don’t have to—”

“Nonsense!” Navara yelled, “Let’s try to keep things organized. I’m up next!”

The lioness grabbed Charlie’s hands and smiled. A buzz of energy washed over her.

“Impart information.”

New spell learned! Purify water. Any liquid affected by this spell will be turned into purified water.

“I thought this might be helpful for your travels,” The lioness grinned wide enough that her bared teeth showed, “I hope you find it acceptable.”

“Actually, Navi,” Charlie looked to Davon, “Puddles and I will discuss something with you when she’s more sober.”

“You’rrre more sober!”

“I see,” She chuckled, “Perhaps in the morning, then.”

Navara waved the next group over. Velia the leopardess and her son stepped forward. The leopard eyed her suspiciously before he looked at his mother.

“Miss Charlotte, I am honored you are wearing the fabric I gifted you,” She bowed deeply, “I have another gift for you, as well. My son picked this out himself.”

“Miss Charlotte, I am Trave. It is a pleasure to meet you,” He grabbed her extended hand and brought it to his snout, “Thank you for saving our homes.”

In a way that would have been adorable for any other creature that wasn’t twice her size, he tapped the back of her hand to his cold nose. She felt his nose twitch as he sniffed her.

“It is lovely to see you again, Veila, and to meet you, Trave,” She smiled politely.

“Please, open your gift.”

Charlie unwrapped the cloth bag to see a vibrant scarlet fabric. She picked up a decent sized cut and wondered where it would go. She quizzically examined it before she looked up to the leopards.

“Thank you?”

“Would you like to try it on now?” Veila smiled in a way that Charlie was sure meant to be nonthreatening.

“Oh, I mean, I’m fine with what I’m—”

“Mother, Miss Charlotte is wearing the other dress. I can wait to see her in this one,” Trave bowed his head, “If you would allow me to accompany you about town for a—”

“I think Davon does a pretty good job keeping me out of trouble,” She playfully elbowed the lion that all but snarled, “Did you happen to get him anything too?”

The leopards looked between each other and replied, “No?”

“Oh, bummer!” She tsked, “Thanks for the present.”

Trave and Davon threateningly stared at each other with each passing moment. Charlie took the opportunity to greet the next family of snow leopards that brought her bottles of fruity wine. She cracked one open and poured some into her new bottomless cup.

“What are you getting at, Trave?” The lion growled under his breath.

“What? The women about town have talked about her for over a month,” The leopard chuckled, “Now that she’s awake, my mother hopes she will want to spend time with a more suitable mate.”

Davon laughed, “You have no arguments from me. Good luck, in fact.”

“What?”

“If she wears that dress before she leaves, I’ll give you ten gold. If you convince her to sleep with you, a hundred.”

“You’re on,” The man grinned maliciously and looked back to the only human in the village, “I have heard their species mates similarly. We’ll see.”

As Charlie waved the next family of lions away, she shuffled back over to the two.

“Oh, Trave, was it? Still here? I thought you would have—”

“I wanted to continue our talk.”

“Davon, a question for you,” She ignored him, “Is this celebration just going to be a long line of people giving me things? Because that’s awkward for me.”

“Would you like for the other part of the celebration to begin? Some of the higher-ranking families will likely be upset that you didn’t accept their gifts first.”

“Eh, fuck ‘em. I want to get wasted.”

Trave blinked, “You what?”

“Get drunk. Consume enough alcohol that I will need to sweat it off tomorrow,” She pressed the new purple rune on her mug and began sipping the sweet wine, “I’m going to see how drunk we can get Puddles.”

“The goddess?”

“Whaaaaat?!” Puddles laughed as she splashed around the fountain, “I didn’t know it could be this fun!”

Squirt chirped as if he laughed and sprayed the goddess with clear water. The two splashed each other as they played in the fountain.

“The next family is here,” Davon extended a claw towards them, “Only fifteen more to go.”

“Ugh.”

Charlie walked towards them with extended arms. She happily hugged their young cub and seemed to look comfortable in her situation.

“The paint on your face makes you look more ridiculous than usual.”

“Says the leopard trying to add more spots to his coat.”

“You’ve been in second place enough to see where all my spots are? Davonathan, you should try harder.”

The two men growled at each other in a quiet, egotistical argument. Each present piled on the edge of the fountain for the protective familiar to guard. Any that got too close to Charlie’s gifts faced the mighty, tiny Squirt’s stream of water. Each of his chirps and croaks made Charlie laugh.

Davon felt something was off with her behavior, though. Each time another group approached her, she drank more alcohol, her shoulders slumped a bit more, and her cheerfulness died down. After a few different groups, Squirt seemed to notice something was off too. The turtle purred softly and waddled over to watch his summoner.

“Focus,” Davon whispered to himself.

A yellow film covered his eyes. His simple ability, Primal Hunter, helped focus tinier bits of information about his chosen prey. Prey did not necessarily mean something to hunt, but something he needed to understand better. As his mind focused on his chosen target, the yellow film slowly moved to just surround her. Davon saw her breath become shallow, her mouth stay open longer than necessary when speaking, and a slight twitch in her eye.

“Excuse me,” He said.

Charlie smiled as he walked up to her. He put his hand on her shoulder and wedged himself into the conversation. Once the pair of tigers walked on, he lowered down to whisper to her.

“Are you alright?”

“Aw, worried about me?”

“My instincts tell me something is wrong. Your familiar seems to feel the same. Do you need to sit for a while?”

“That would be nice, actually,” She crossed her arms in front of her, “I’m just tired.”

Davon held his arm out and she grabbed onto it. She wasn’t as steady on her feet when he walked her back to the fountain. She sat and looked back at the now worried audience.

“Sorry! I just need a minute.”

“Miss Charlie is still healing,” He looked to his mother, “Perhaps we should begin the rest of the celebration while she recovers enough to receive more gifts?”

The lioness’s face frozen, “Of course! Let’s get everything else ready to—”

Charlie covered her face and groaned a bit. She grabbed her stomach and tried to settle it with a nauseous burp. Her body ached, even after nearly five weeks of recovery. She didn’t want to sit around anymore, though.

“What’s the matter?” The lion asked.

“I’m just very sore,” She whispered, “I think I’m going to need a minute.”

“I’ll get my mother and –”

“God no. She’ll make a big deal out of it,” She shook her head, “People can still come over and—”

“If you aren’t feeling well, then perhaps we should get you back quicker than we thought?”

“And miss the party? Hell no!”

Squirt echoed a loud chirp to agree.

“I’m sure this one will make sure I’m safe,” Charlie scratched under his chin, “Won’t you?”

“Just don’t push yourself too much.”

“Me? Push myself? I’m basically a god, remember?” She laughed.

“Okay… don’t get so drunk that you hurt yourself?” Davon ran his fingers through his mane.

“That sounds more like something I’d do.”

Trave walked over and sat on her other side. She quirked her head at him with a confused face.

“What’s up?”

The leopard looked towards the sky, “The stars?”

“Oh, I meant why… are you here?” Charlie attempted to sound polite, but it didn’t come off that way, “Sorry. That came out wrong. I mean is… there something you need?”

“Oh, no. I wanted to enjoy your company,” His sly smile felt wrong to her.

Charlie could not get used to the predatory teeth shown to her in what was supposed to be a friendly manner.

“Okay, I will likely just need a minute to –Strixa! There you are!” She semi-squealed when she saw the tigress.

The family of tigers took the opportunity to shake their way further up the line to see her. Charlie stood and gave Strixa a hug and touched the newly pink dyed fur.

“I’m glad you could make it!” She grinned, “This color really suits you! And, Miss Heartha, the blue makes your eyes pop!”

The older tigress seemed to blush, “You’re too kind.”

“Now, I hope you guys didn’t get me anything. I don’t need a—”

The orange tiger shook a box in his hands, “Strixa said you might want these. She’s been working hard on them.”

Charlie playfully narrowed her eyes, “Well let’s just see.”

She opened the wrapped box and lifted the lid. She laughed when she saw what was inside.

“Absolutely perfect!”

“I’ve tried it. You’re right, it’s fantastic. I’m sure the children will like it too. I just don’t think they should have a lot of it,” Strixa said, “Mother tested some with me.”

“Breaking loose are we, huh?” She playfully elbowed the tigress, “It is wonderful to see you all again. Hopefully we can have another visit before I’m off for good.”