The Married Life Of Immortals

After leaving the bathhouse, Bane and Lysia walked over to the shop he had heard about earlier in the day; The Bearded Barrock's Broken Blacksmith.

"Why are you so interested in black smithing? I am sure that Bilgarth would have suggested you go to Tony's shop if you would have waited."

Bane shook his head. "Tony sounds like some white guy that works for the mafia, and from what I heard, his shop is pristine and clean. Not only that, but according to everyone I heard, he is a nice and polite guy! Can you believe that?"

Lysia scrunched up her face. "Why do you say that in such a condescending voice?"

Bane shrugged. "It's a blacksmith. I may not know much about fantasy and magic, but I have been in my fair share of shops. The best ones are the dirty, seedy looking buildings that look on the verge of falling down. They also have to be messy, but the number one thing?"

"What?"

"The owner has to be an asshole!"

"How would a dirty and messy blacksmith owner being an asshole help the work?" Lysia asked with a raised eyebrow.

Bane shrugged. "I just mean that he is more likely to put all of his effort into his craft. I mean, sometimes it just means that they are assholes who are messy slobs, but that doesn't mean they aren't good. I have learned that the most passionate and talented people tend to be the biggest assholes, because they can't deal with the amount of talent they have. That, or everyone else just sucks compared to them."

Lysia shook her head. "Whatever. I don't care as long as you buy me something. I want a new bow, so I will need to spend some money."

"Why do you need a new bow?"

"Your training."

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"You shouldn't."

The pair made it to the shop, and Bane pushed the door open, causing the bell on the door to chime, and the entire building to rumble.

Lysia's head snapped around at the shaking building, and then tried to pull Bane out of the building, but he just dragged her along.

The shop was a mess. Armor and weapons were tossed in piles that made no sense. There were racks with weapons that weren't even hung right. The smell was awful, and it was so dusty that Lysia could feel the air drying her lungs out as she breathed.

"This place is a dump!" Lysia exclaimed, but then a gruff voice from somewhere under a pile of armor made her jump in surprise.

"Then get out!"

Suddenly, the pile of armor closest to Bane started to come alive, only to reveal that a short and stocky man had been sleeping on the pile of metal. The man looked at the two with a scowl, and Bane smirked.

"So, I have heard a lot about you. I am looking for a weapon, and I heard you are the last person to see," Bane said, and the man looked him up and down.

"Who are you, and what is your level? You look like a lowly peasant with those clothes," the man scoffed, and Bane looked down at his clothes, which were now dry, but clean for the most part.

"Piss off, old man. Did only your brain grow when we all got older? You look like a fucking dwarf. Now, show me what you have."

The short and stocky man's face turned into a grin. "A wise talking asshole? I don't look like a dwarf, I am a dwarf, you son of a bitch!"

Bane rolled his eyes. "My mother was not a dog, but it is clear that your father must have popsicled a three inch fairy to make something so damn vertically challenged!"

"You shit talking piece of filth!"

"Dwarf-loving-son-of-a-whore!"

"Pig-fucking-demon!"

"Goblin-molesting-midget!"

Lysia just stood there with her jaw slack, watching the two shout insults at each other. Then, suddenly, both of them started laughing, and the dwarf extended his hand.

"Nice to meet a fellow asshole. What is your name?"

"Bane. I am the new resident asshole that just moved in a month ago, but I have a task of learning everything that this village has to offer. You, my short and ugly friend, are my first choice for blacksmithing. I figured that I might ask if you could help me in the future, but I also came to find a bow for my lady to shoot me with."

The dwarf looked over at Lysia, and his eyes widened. "Oh, I didn't even realize it was you! What are you doing with this asshole?"

Lysia smiled. "He is my soon-to-be life partner. How are you, Barrock?"

Barrock rubbed his neck, but then his eyes bulged. "This asshole? You really picked him?"

"Hey! This asshole is standing right here!" Bane complained, but both the dwarf and elf ignored him.

"Yes, he is a jerk, but he is a jerk that treats me like I am important. We have a long life together, and I plan to make sure he suffers for every year of it," Lysia said, and Bane crossed his arms.

"You talk of abusing me like it is the cutest thing in the world, but it is the weirdest thing I have ever heard," Bane said, and Barrock shook his head.

"Not by a long shot. There is a lot weirder shit that goes down in this village... Has he met Argatua yet?" Barrock asked, and Lysia paused, but then a big smile crept across her face that Bane didn't like.

"No, I have not, but that is a very good suggestion! He tends to never come out of his house, like some dwarves, so he is easy to forget," Lysia agreed, and Bane gave her a sideways glare.

"If you are suggesting that I go meet him, you can piss off. I can just tell by the tone of your voice and that damn twinkle in your eye that I will want nothing to do with whatever you have planned," Bane growled, but the pair continued to ignore him.